Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I love my job . . . .

Some days my job sucks and some days it provides pure entertainment. Like today. I'm searching resume database websites today, ie Monster, Careerbuilder.com, etc. and I came across a resume that listed this as one of their strong skills:

* Strong basic math skills with or without caculator - really? a CAC ULATOR?

Given the fact that I can't even figure out a 20% tip on any bill without the aid of my cell phone - I'm impressed.. not using spell check? well, that's another blog altogether . .

Can you IMAGINE . . .

If this "no power" (see previous post) business took place in a couple of weeks when "The Girls Next Door" new season starts??

I better have my Dearest Dave DVR it for me just in case . . .

Ohio Edison you're on my list . .

I'm going to preface this blog by saying that I know it could be much worse - and my heart and what little patience I have in a "normal" setting goes out to those that have been hit by IKE in Texas and now those in Chicago dealing with the floods. My "story of woe" is no where nearly as bad and I've already written (er clicked on line) my check to the Red Cross to help those that were directly in the path of the storm.

Now, onto my sad tale....
So, I come home last night pretty excited because as I turned down my street I see that my neighbors on the north side of my road have power. Yes! I think to myself, I'll be able to watch TV or play on the internet tonight! Woo-hoo!

My excitement was short-lived, however, as I pulled into my driveway and tried to open the garage door. NO POWER on the south end of the street. HOW THE FUCK IS THIS POSSIBLE?!?! It's not like I live on a road that is MILES and MILES long. We're probably talking 1/2 mile at the MOST (feels like more when I'm walking the dog) but it's probably more like a 1/4 mile. So why in the FUCK don't I have power when my neighbors 8 houses up do?? AND, AND, right around the corner from my house? The SUBSTATION!! AND we have NO trees down, no DOWN WIRES (although I told Ohio Ed we did so I could talk to a LIVE person) and yet, still no power.

So, I called Ohio Edison and told the "menu system" that I had a LIVE wire down so I could speak with an actual representative (I won't use the terms HUMAN or CUSTOMER SERVICE PERSON any more-because they are neither) and report that there was still NO ELECTRICITY on my street.

This "representative" got on the phone with me (and, I know this is hard to believe, but I WAS NICE in the beginning.) and immediately addressed me in a condescending tone. Saying things like I've only been without power since Sunday (it's now 6pm on Monday night) and I should consider myself LUCKY that I'm not in TX. LUCKY?? I live in fucking OHIO - no hurricane season here - and, my power is out because of FAULTY OHIO EDISON equipment - it had nothing to do with the storm that passed through Sunday evening. Our power went out 3 hours before the winds really kicked in lady, so NO, I don't consider myself LUCKY. I consider myself SCREWED for paying for service that I’m not getting. Should I just bend over next time I write the check for my so called "service?"

She then looks up my record and says "well, this is the first time it's been reported" Oh no she didn't.. She did NOT just lie to my face (ear). I called 3 times on Sunday, but because it was NOT DURING NORMAL BUSINESS HOURS, I didn't actually talk to a LIVE representative but I did go through the whole MENU system and reported it. AND, really? An ELECTRIC company doesn't have CSR's working on the weekends? What, power only goes out M-F 8-5?

Anyway, my neighbors (who are retired and home all day) HAD called ALL day on Monday. I had just talked with them to find out what was up with our power, like maybe, they WERE out during the day and couldn't get it fixed. My neighbor informed me that he had called and actually talked to a rep (because he too, lied about down lines) 6 different times. This is because Ohio Edison kept calling back saying they had fixed the problem in our area and we should have power, so he kept calling back saying "um no, not on our road."

I told MISS CUSTOMER SERVICE this and also that this is not the only time we've lost power. Any time we get the "slightest" wind the trees next to the damn pole brush against it and "boom" the damn thing explodes. I try telling her that this thing must be old or something is wrong with it when she CUTS ME OFF to say "if the pole is on your property - YOU are responsible for trees, etc.

OMG - I'm NOT having this discussion now, but since where here. . am I also responsible for the squirrels that run across the lines or how about the bird that flew into the pole this past summer and made it "pop" - that my fault too? I realize, Ohio Edison isn't responsible for the animals either. BUT their equipment should NOT be so FAULTY that when a bird flies into it or if a branch just touches the pole it blows up causing power a outage. So of course, this infuriates me to the point that I can't control myself.

Side note here; I am SOOOOO THANKFUL that I didn't have to endure what the folks in New Orleans, Mississippi, and now Texas and Chicago because, quite frankly, I wouldn't have been able to deal with all the calls and dealing with FEMA. I'm freaking out with Ohio Edison over a loss of power. I think (know) I would have MELTED DOWN if I would have lost my house and everything. And DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED to think about my dog. (all those folks that had to leave their pets behind because they couldn't take them to the shelters with them?? Good God Almighty - I think I would have been institutionalized.)

Anyway, I lost it with this rep and just told her (in not so nice terms) that we INDEED did NOT have power and I wanted it reported ASAP. Her response? She told me that it could be 3-5 days before power is restored. I hung up because I was honestly so upset and pissed I didn't know what else I would do, AND, now I'm at the mercy of this FUCKING C-U-Next Tuesday and I figured she could hold out the power restoration for my road for the full 5 days or longer.

UGGGGGHHHHH I was soooooooooooooooooooo mad. To make matters WORSE, my poor dog, Daisy is just shaking because she knows I'm upset. So, after about 10 minutes of trying to calm her down and her licking me (she loves to lick and I've recently discovered, when she's nervous - not just excited- she licks EVEN more.)

So, I calm down, calm Daisy down and call back, hoping to get another rep - not TONYA or (Total Cunt-face as I've nicknamed her.) I get a new gal on the phone and I start over (calmly - really, I was) and I told her that we didn't have power, blah blah blah and told her that I've called now twice today, 3 times on Sunday and my neighbors have been calling too. And, do you know what she says?? "Well, I'm looking at your account and no calls have been logged about power outage on your street."

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???? Are you FUCKING-OH-MY-GOD-KIDDING ME??? I told her how I just got off the phone with Tonya, and how could that be - the bitch updated my account! (Oh yeah, I have a new phone number and yes, we had to deal with THAT issue before CF would even HEAR about the no power/electricity business). She of course didn't know, but would put a "work order" in to have a crew come out, blah blah blah but it may be 3-5 days before we have power . . . . and now? I just want to cry. I tell her thanks - whatev, I have lost this battle.

Defeated, I go back into my powerless house, pack my bags and call my mom and tell her I'm coming over. I'm loading up my car (bags and dog) when I hear . . . coming down my street. . . . what sounds like a diesel work truck . . . then, then, that FANTASTIC "beep" "beep" "beep" sound when work trucks are backing up. I run down my driveway into the street and see . . . . . the OHIO EDISON truck backing up to the utility pole!!

All of my neighbors are in the street clapping and cheering this guy on. He tells us he has to go to the substation and "do something" but we should have power within the next hour or so. Of course, we were all a little hesitant to watch him leave, but true to his word . . . . lights starting coming on within 20 minutes!!! AND, he came BACK!! We all bowed to him - I offered him a beer - although it was warm - my fault? I think not. He checked the utility pole and guess what he said? Yup, it IS faulty and needs fixed - HA! Go FUCK YOURSELF TONYA!! I told you it was bad equipment!!

Anyhoo, I FINALLY got power restored around 7-7:30 last night. Of course, everything in my refrigerator/freezer is destroyed - including my big box of FUDGSICLES!! Oh well, I've got power - I'll go out tonight and buy more. . . .

My BFF and her husband and two girls had to come over last night to shower and wash bottles for the baby. They too are without power. On their way home, they noticed that the lights were on in their neighborhood. Smiles on their faces, they pulled into their driveway . . . hit the garage door opener . . . and . . . . nope! No power for them. Two houses down - power, their house - none. WTF Ohio Ed??

She called me this morning and asked if I'd call to report that their power is out. I told her that since it's already been 3 days, I'd wait out the 5. If I get on the phone it could be Christmas before their power is restored.

Pack a bag my friend and come stay at my house . . . .