Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Breaking news.....

June 24th, 10:30am - location: shopgirl's hood.

This just in....
5 pound "wanna be dog" narrowly misses death by one 70lb and one 30lb "real dogs" because "purse dog's" owner allowed her to run free into the road with no care at all about stupid insignificant dog. As the real dogs owners controlled them, purse dog continued to run towards her imminent death as her owner leisurely strolled over to gather her dog.

Ok - so I'm not a journalist and my play by play needs some work, but here's what went down. I'm walking my dogs - minding our own business, and they're actually being really good (shocker - even to ME). When all of a sudden I hear someone calling out to their dog and I use the word "dog" losely because what it really is, is a 5 lb- good for nothing-except to look cute in a dog purse - but even then - just fucking ri-god-damn-diculous to have such a small effing dog - dog. But whatever.

Anyway - this "dog" comes running towards my 70 and 30 lb dogs and as I try to controll my dogs and tell them that this is NOT a squeaker toy or a snack, the other dogs owner? Does. Nothing!!!

They finally get their dog back into their yard - ok I thought - wrong. The effing dog comes back!! Now my dogs are like - "it's on... like Donkey Kong..." and I'm trying to hold back 100 pounds of dogs that want to rip this "dog" to shreds and the the owner? Casually. strolls. over. calmly saying.....c'mon Toby (or whatever the fuck this dogs name was). All the while, my dogs are salivating more than Pavlov's dog ever did. Ummm.. Stupid C-U-Next Tuesday bitch? Your dog? about to die if you don't move your fucking ass a little quicker. And my dogs? will probably get the death penalty because of it and then? Yeah, it WILL BE ON - LIKE DONKEY KONG. UGGGHHHH.. People - there are fucking LEASH Laws for a REASON!!! Keep your dog - no matter how small or big - on a fucking LEASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So much for a peaceful start to my day!!

3 comments:

  1. And that? That is the reason handguns were invented. Bullets are wonderful things....

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  2. "stupid C U Next Tuesday"...I can't tell you how many times i had to read that...till I finally got it! I'm a little slow on the uptake!

    and 5lb dogs aren't Dogs at all!!!!!!

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  3. Beth - ha ha! that's my "attempt" at being a nice girl - ha ha!!

    and I agree - 5lb dogs are "squeaker toys." NOT dogs.... Some are cute - I'll give them that... but I like my dogs to be like me - LARGE!! :-)

    ReplyDelete

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