SHOPGIRL'S BLOG

Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!!

2009-11-03T10:10:00.000-05:00

Yee haw! I got the job, or I won the audition. Ok, now you KNOW the economy is bad when I'm excited about a PT job slinging brewskies and spirits at a local watering hole. But, right now? I'll take what I can get LITERALLY. I mean, the job market is horrible here and there was an article in our local paper that yet another company will probably be laying off 300 people in the next month if they don't extend some contract or get another client or something. Either way? That's 300 MORE people that I have to compete against for any job out there. Also? The more people there are out of work? The more power the employers get - and can hire for much, much less than they would have a year ago. And while I'd work for less, I don't see my mortgage payment going down or my gas/electric/water bills shrinking either.

But, today I'm not going to dwell on the negative. I got a job! So yea for me and yea for my pocket book!!
And? This is what, my 3rd post in less than 2 weeks? WAY TO GO SHOPGIRL!! :~)

But, it's going to be short one again - because I have to get ready for work - I actually start today!!

C-ya later and.....
don't forget to tip your bartenders!!

Exercise Two: Try to write SOMETHING... anything...

2009-11-02T12:33:00.000-05:00

Something.....

Anything....

OK, I did it - now can I go back to bed? I'm kidding (sort of) - I'm out of bed, and will stay out of bed until it's reasonably acceptable to go back to bed. My PJ's? Yes, I'm still in them (I know it's12:30pm) but I don't care. Actually, I'm getting out of these pretty soon too - I have an "audition" today at 2pm - so I need to go make myself all purdy-like.

My "audition?" is not for anything remotely exciting (for anyone who's reading this) it's more of a "working interview" at a bar in my neighborhood that has an opening for a bar-~~bitch~~ tender. So, I have to get myself moving so I can do down and serve the locals their brewskies and 7 & 7's for a couple of hours. I better get paid for this audition (at least the tip money..)

My friend was at the bar last night while another contender was there, and apparently she had no skillz - which of course made me very happy. He also sounded a little drunk (you did) but I'll take whatever positive feedback I can get these days.

Well, as Bugs Bunny used to say... "That's all Folks!" - I'm going to say that too - since I need to get ready for this audition/interview. Wish me luck - and hopefully everyone will just order beer or really easy drinks like Rum and Coke.

So much to say.... so why can't I blog all about it??

2009-10-28T19:24:00.000-04:00

Have you ever been in a place in your life where you've just lost interest in everything that you once loved to do? Or, in my case - have you ever gotten so excited about something, hobby, past-time, or even person and have gone full-force, full throttle with all the passion in your being, only to find yourself later not even remotely interested in said activity?

Well, I've felt that way my whole life. I'm very much an "in the moment" kinda girl. I like NEW things - to try NEW stuff. I get super excited about something (photography, scrap-booking, traveling, writing or blogging) and then BLAH... I hit a wall and I lose all interest.. My $500 camera (and all the "extras" that I had to have that would make me a better photographer) and my THOUSANDS of dollars worth of scrap-booking ~~shit~~ products, and now, by blog sit idle wondering where I've gone and if I'll ever come back.

The sad thing is.. is that I want to, but yet here I sit and try to write a blog and while it is somewhat theraputic about putting my feelings down on paper (or into the blogoshpere) it is so. incredibly. hard. to keep typing.
I have soooo much I want to write about yet my mind feels like a pinball machine and my focus is as chaotic as that ball bouncing from side to side and back and forth until eventually it goes down the drain.

So today's post (while incredibly short) was an exercise to get me back in the game. According to the "experts" out there, it's all about baby steps and goal setting. So, today's goal was to write something, anything... and I did that. It's not my best work and it's not as long as my previous (and more enjoyable) posts have been, but I did it. And I didn't even need a brand new shiny lap-top to do it.

You see, I think and I keep telling my friend Dave (and myself) that if 'I only had a LAP TOP' then, THEN I'd be able to write again - you know, because now that I'm unemployed and have ALL THIS TIME on my hands - I could go to cool places like Starbucks, Panera Bread, Borders - where the Wi-fi is FREE - because I'm on a BUDGET and I could become the "serious" writer that I want to be (and once was.) Because? No.One. writes at home! NO! It's all about the mobility... right? Yeah, that's it....

THAT and going out and buying something NEW. Hmmmm.... seems to be a pattern here....

Manic Monday

2009-10-19T22:42:00.000-04:00

Patsy Cline sang it (and Willie Nelson wrote it) best:

Crazy
Crazy for feeling so lonely
Im crazy
Crazy for feeling so blue

I knew
Youd love me as long as you wanted
And then someday
Youd leave me for somebody new

Worry
Why do I let myself worry
Wondrin
What in the world did I do

Crazy
For thinking that my love could hold you
Im crazy for tryin
Crazy for cryin
And Im crazy
For lovin you

Keeping it legal y'all:

Written by willie nelson
(as performed by willie nelson)
Also performed by patsy cline and ray price

Update... and I'm out of my PJ's....

2009-09-17T14:56:00.000-04:00

My TO DO List:

~~1. Clean Room - almost done.~~
~~2. Clean Bathroom - worst job in the house.....~~
3. Organize/Clean my home office - aka - catch all - I don't know where to put it so it will just go into my "office" room. So. not. looking.forward. to. this. item.
4. Clean livinging room.
~~5. Laundry - DONE! (believe it or not, I LIKE to do laundry... I know, I'm weird.) - found more - but it's DONE now too!~~
6. Kitchen - done last night - also like to clean the kitchen - don't like to cook -but like to clean...
7. Pick up dog doodies in the yard - ok - this is the WORST JOB IN THE HOUSE. - going to have a beer first (if there's any left... if not? VODKA it is...
8. Throw up from performing task number 7 - if Vodka is involved? Tossing my cookies is a certainty....
9. Mow the lawn.
~~10. Drink Vodka... lots of Vodka. (I could mix item number 10 in between several of the earlier tasks.)~~ Check, Check and Check!!

I just love crossing things off the "to do" list!!

So much to do... so much to do... why am I so lazy?

2009-09-17T13:55:00.000-04:00

So, I've been off work for about 8 months (or so) now and as I look back at those months? It seems like I've accomplished nothing. NOTHING!! It's sad - all the time in the world and nothing has gotten done - lots of things/projects were started, but nothing has been completed. My TO DO list is long yet my tenacity is short (lived). Why is it that sleeping until God-knows-when feels so much better than getting up and accomplishing anything? Why do I love my jammies so much (and it's not like I have cute PJ's or even LOOK cute in them)? Why am I addicted to ~~crack~~ Facebook? I swear, it's my only (somewhat) real connection to the outside world right now. I hated my office job so much and WISHED to be able to be home all day - now? I've gotten what I've wished for and I love/hate it. I love being home but I hate not being able to talk ~~with, er, about~~ to anyone.

So, as I sit here today, in front of my computer (still in my PJ's) and try to compose anything that resembles a blog, my house continues to remain a pig (well, in my case dog) sty. Ok, so when it was just me and Miss Daisy Dog, I thought I had the dog hair under control. It wasn't that bad and when I was working? Saturday mornings were my "cleaning" days and I could zip rather quickly through my house and remove the dog hair with little to no effort. Now? Two dogs? And Sassy's hair is BLACK - and the dog hair has not doubled but QUADROUPLED. Uggggh and the dust? For the love of DOG BONES the dust is outrageous!! No wonder I'm sneezing like a maniac.

Would it be all that in humane to shave Sassy - hmmmm.. a hairless dog... sounds lovely.. Fugly, but lovely.

OK - back to reality, that dog hair isn't going to pick itself up out of the pile on the floor (which I swept it into) and put itself into the trash. It will, I'd guess, double or even triple in size by the time I get back to it though. So, off I go.. to finish cleaning my bedroom - then, maybe if I'm not too tired I'll attempt the rest of the house.....

My TO DO List:

1. Clean Room - almost done.
2. Clean Bathroom - worst job in the house.....
3. Organize/Clean my home office - aka - catch all - I don't know where to put it so it will just go into my "office" room. So. not. looking.forward. to. this. item.
4. Clean livinging room.
5. Laundry - DONE! (believe it or not, I LIKE to do laundry... I know, I'm weird.)
6. Kitchen - done last night - also like to clean the kitchen - don't like to cook -but like to clean...
7. Pick up dog doodies in the yard - ok - this is the WORST JOB IN THE HOUSE.
8. Throw up from performing task number 7
9. Mow the lawn.
10. Drink Vodka... lots of Vodka. (I could mix item number 10 in between several of the earlier tasks.)

So, I'm off internet peeps - no more Facebooking, time to get cracking... My goal is to be out of my PJ's by 3pm......

Concentration - easier said than done..

2009-08-27T13:43:00.004-04:00

So, I've gotten myself a little writing assignment that could actually get published! One would think I'd be soooo excited (and I am) and that I would have started writing immediately and I'd be proofing at this very moment because I wrote 1000+ words instead of the 400-800 guideline. Well, you'd be wrong, unless of course you know me and that I procrastinate in every.aspect.of.my.life. Seriously, I'm not worried about dying because knowing me? I'll be late or have something planned for that fateful day and will have to postpone.

Of course, I should be writing my article instead of writing on my blog - but I can't seem to come up with anything for said article and well, it's been entirely too long since I've posted anything here. I figured I'd come over here, clear a few cob webs and dust bunnies and see if will help me get my "creative juices" flowing for this article that they want back by the end of this week (which is TOMORROW.) Yeah, no pressure.

Actually, I work better under pressure. I once wrote a paper in one night for a class in college that we were supposed to be working on the entire semester. Well, I have a hard time sticking with ANYTHING for more than about a nanosecond, so writing every day (hmmm... maybe I'd be a better blogger) just didn't work for me. So, the night before said paper was due - I wrote my little arse off. Actually, I went shopping for my upcoming trip to the Bahamas and then packed and then called some friends and then, then I wrote my paper. Shut up! I finished it and even got an "A" on it! So, I'm sure I can complete this article.. later... ha!

I am actually TRYING to complete it now -because even though they want it tomorrow and I'd probably have some time during the morning to finish it - I have a feeling that tomorrow - being Friday and all will end up being non-productive as most Fridays usually are (even for the unemployed.)

But, today of all days, my city decided that it would be a good time to rip up the road in front of my house and re-asphalt it. (no they're not completely re-paving it - THAT would make too much sense.) They are just ripping up a small portion (conveniently in front of my house) and throwing down some asphalt. Great - because the patch job complete with the crater like dip and all they did back in January was such a work of art - that I'm sure the work they're doing today with be a huge improvement. Seriously, who doesn't like it when they're house shakes every time a car/truck or squirrel drives over this portion of the road.

So here I am, stuck inside my house on my desktop computer, trying to concentrate and write this article and 5+ large trucks and 10+ men (not even cute) are outside making all kinds of noise. Perfect conditions for writing don't cha think? Did I mention that my house trembles Every.Time.They. Move. The. Back Hoe? No? Well, it does!! Not only am I not able to concentrate and write my article (yet able to blog about my lack of concentration) I now know what it's like to be a California resident during an earthquake measuring 4.9-5.2 on the Richter scale. I'm also not worried in the slightest, that my nearly 100 year old house's foundation, may crumble beneath me today. (hopefully the cadaver dogs will track not only mine but my dogs scent.)

Well, after sitting here in front of my computer for more than 3 hours not writing my article I'm going to attempt to get back at it. Actually I haven't been here the entire time. I told you I'm a procrastinator right?

Here's a re-cap of the past 3+ hours:
1. Made lunch - have all the workings of a Subway restaurant - made myself a "tasty" Turkey/salami/Am. Cheese with lettuce, mayo, mustard, salt/pepper, pickles mini sub sammy. And chips on the side.
2. Let the dogs out for the fiftieth time.
3. Let said dogs back in.
4. Showered and got out of jammies.
5. Did load of laundry - which I just remembered I have to run back down and put in dryer.
6. Went outside to "inspect" all this noise.
7. Talked with neighbors who's TV is obviously on the fritz as they are sitting outside just watching all the road work. Mine truly is, "the most entertaining city" in which to live.... E! will probably be here shortly.
8. Back on computer - but checked out ~~crack~~Facebook - my friend is craving chocolate.
9. Now? So am I.
10. Can't think about anything but chocolate.
11. Back downstairs (away from computer and even further from completing article) to get "chocolate."
12. Back upstairs - only chocolate in house - Reese's Klondike bar. What would I do for a Klondike bar? Apparently, not write my assigned article.
13. Share last bites of delici-o-so Klondike bar with dogs.
14. Actually take time to look up how to spell new word: delici-o-so
15. Klondike bars? Messy - must wash hands.
16. Back at computer - ready to finish up this blog and hopefully my article.

Hmmm... and it seems like I do NOTHING all day...

911 what's your emergency? Can you hold?

2009-07-21T00:01:00.006-04:00

Ok - so I didn't want to ruin my 2 week run post with this bit of news, but I have to get it out.

So, right as I'm heading out for my run tonight (which now, I've just become to lazy to get in my car and drive to the park - so I'm actually running in my neighborhood, at night so NOBODY sees how bad I look while running.) Well, as I'm on my way out the door, I'm talking to Dave who is reading today's news online and he tells me about this "gang thing" that happened TOO close to my hood.

Ok, so I'm sooooooooo not up-to-date on anything newsworthy (except MJ - and all the "behind the music" and True Hollywood Stories of the man) to actually know what Dave's talking about. He gives me the quick low down (and scolds me for not actually knowing about it because apparently it made the BIG news - like National news) and get this, back on the 4th of July - I guess a "gang" of like 40 -50 kids started a fight the night of the fireworks near my neighborhood. This "gang" severely beat a guy and his brother that put him in the hospital with like $17,000 worth of medical bills. NICE. And I'm running in this neighborhood.

Now, I realize that this was an isolated incident (at least I'm HOPING that's all) and that there are bad things that happen all over the place. But this is REALLY too close to home. And of course, our LOVELY police department? Yeah, Keystone Cops at best. They have arrested NO ONE. Again, NICE City I thought I lived in.

Oh, and when the victims brother called 911 for help? Get this: He. Was. Put. On. HOLD. Yup - a 911 call about 40 GANG BANGERS beating two people to near death? HOLD PLEASE. Your call will be answered in the order it was received.

Fabulous.

According to the newspaper, the FBI has been called in. We'll see what transpires. You know who we need? Horatio Caine. and ooo la la, the boys from CSI Miami. They'd have this cleared up and all the gang bangers in custody in like, 45 minutes (or may, 90 minutes - you know, if they like had to involve CSI NY). Either way, I think they'd have a better chance of catching the 'bangers' than our ~~loser~~local PD.

Now that I think about it... I'm going to keep running. Especially since I can't move right now (thanks economy). I'm going to need to be quick on my feet.

Week Two....

2009-07-20T22:34:00.003-04:00

I did it! Week One of running is down and I'm on to week 2.

Ok - so I clarified it for Dave that I'm not actually RUNNING THE ENTIRE 20 MINUTES, but I am running. (90 seconds of running/120 seconds of fast walking - alternating for 20 minutes) Again - if you want to see the program - it's called The Couch to 5K.

There are 9 (yes 9) weeks to this program and I'm down 1 - got 8 more to go (for those of you that are too pretty -like me - to do math.) And by "those of you" I mean Dave and if anyone else is still here reading.

Anyhoodle... I honestly thought I was going to die tonight - a friend of mine is a couple weeks ahead of me and tells me that it does in fact get easier... but I'm not sure I'm buying it. Especially since week 3? Yeah, I'm supposed to run for 3 whole minutes at a time! Oh. My. God! I don't know if this running thing is for me or not. I'm going to give it another week and then, we'll see about week three.

Oh and another thing... you know how "they" say that exercising releases all these endorphins and such and you're supposed to feel great after the exercising is done? Yeah, NO. It's soooo. not. happening. that way. for me. The ONLY thing I'm loving after all the running is over? Is the fact that it's O V E R. Yeah, maybe I feel a little sense of accomplishment when I get home. Of course, this all comes AFTER the hyperventilating and catching of my breath. And of course when I return to a LESS BRIGHT shade of RED. Oh, and the sweating? Dear God and Baby Jesus it's not even hot here and I SWEAR I've lost about 30 pounds in sweat! How do people do this day after day and during the summer??

Well, that's all for now. I'm going to crawl to my bed where I'm sure I'll crash and burn once my head hits the pillow.

See ya in a couple of days!

Extra Extra - FREE all about it!!

2009-07-16T23:08:00.003-04:00

There's a giveaway going on right now peeps!! You have to go over to: Clevergirl's blog and check out this awesome giveaway from Jupiter Freedom.

And - how mad that I didn't come up with this idea in the first ding dong place - not the giveaway - I'm not THAT nice. I mean the purse thingy - ummmm? hello genius idea!! Ugghh I hate when someone comes up with a great idea before me!!

Oh well - check it out - maybe you'll win!

OMG!! OMG!! HE'S COMING. HERE. NEXT WEEK!!

2009-07-16T16:16:00.003-04:00

Ok - remember my story about the Best Man from my Best Friends Wedding? No? Well, let me refresh your memory. Go ahead, read on.... I'll wait.

So, guess what? He's going to be here. In my hometown. Next week. And we're having dinner!!

Ok - so I don't know if it was at HIS request, but he's coming to visit my best friend and her husband and WE ARE ALL having dinner. OMG!!! Is it possible to lose 50 pounds in 5-6 days? (ok, without removing an appendage?)

Seriously - I'm sick to my stomach right now - I'm sooooooooooooooooo nervous and excited at the same time. Which stands to reason that I will inevitably FUCK IT ALL UP.

I wish I was in a better place right now - emotionally. I'm still unemployed and down in the dumps about it. But, I'm getting better about hiding that (ok, I'm not. I just wanted to see what it looked like in type)

Also - he's not working right now either - same deal happened to him - losing his job, blah blah, fuckin' economy, blah blah. Now this, right here, would usually be a red flag to just ignore and move on from a guy. You don't have a job? Or can't afford to keep up with me? Next. But, well, nowadays? There's not much to keep up with. Gawd, even a plasma donor has more money than me right now.

I don't know all the 'tails of his upcoming trip and I'm really not getting THAT excited about it because the last time he was supposed to come to "these parts" it didn't happen. But, a girl can hope right? Sheesh.. I need SOMETHING to look forward to.

Stay tuned and I'll let you know how it goes..

Ok - so it's been three days instead of two

2009-07-13T18:36:00.003-04:00

But, I ran. Again! And this time - well, it was still hard and my head pounded like a Metallica (sp) concert, but I didn't die and it took me about the same time as last time. That stopwatch function on the iPod is too cool. It's counts your laps and it even recorded my last run. (EVERYONE but ME probably already knows this.) Which by the way was almost the EXACT SAME TIME as I ran today! Hmmm.. 10:30 must be when my body is "OK with running."

So, YESTERDAY was supposed to be the day that I ran -but I had to work ON MY FEET all day yesterday and when I got home - I was just too pooped to run. Add to that, on Saturday night my neighbors had their annual pool party and I was drinking Long Islands like it was my job or something - well, running would have done NO BODY any good yesterday. It was a Big Mac, Large Fries and Ice Tea kinda day. Needed. Grease. To. Soak. Up. Alcohol. (and to keep me from hurling all damn day.) Ugggh... why does alcohol taste sooooooooooooooo good going down and why can't I stop at my 3rd or 4th drink instead of my 13th or 14th?

But back to the run. It's still not fun and I'm sure I still look like an escaped mental patient - what with trying to catch my breath on my 90 seconds of fast walking in between the 60 seconds of running. I didn't sweat as much today - but it was cooler today than it was last week - I think anyway. There was, this really cute guy there - but I'm sure he took one look at me and prayed to himself - "please don't let the fat girl pass out in front of me." I know, I need to stop making fun of myself. But, the old Shopgirl would have seen this guy a mile away and either turned around and ran back to my car to leave the park or just hid until he passed - but still left. This time - I just kept my (slow) pace and thought to myself - keep it up sister - in 9 weeks (the length of this program) you'll (hopefully) be a different girl and who knows? Maybe I'll be keeping pace (or passing) him!

Running Progress chart:
Shopgirl's 1st ever run - July 10th, 2009
2nd run - July 13th, 2009
3rd run - planned for July 15th, 2010 (ha ha! I mean 2009!)

See you in two days!!

Oy Vey - what a weekend.... NEVER been so glad to see Monday get here!

2009-07-13T13:02:00.005-04:00

So, after my slow start out on Saturday (see this post if you really have NOTHING BETTER to do) I finally got my butt out of the house to run some errands and try to hit a few garage sales (the ones that didn't close because of the rain.)

I was actually in a pretty good mood, starting out... The sun did come out and it looked like it could be a nice day. So I hopped in my car and headed out. I first had to go to the dog pound - and this is where it all went downhill.

You see, Friday night my nephew's dog (which he acquired through a "friend" - at least that's the story we got) went missing. And said dog had been living with my nephew in my parents house (long, annoying story about his living conditions - so I won't even go there) for about a week or so - it's been less than a month. Anyway - this dog - "Powder" was a Pit Bull. At least we think that - I honestly don't think it was a pure pit - but who knows? I'm thinking that if it was PURE PIT - whoever had it before would have kept her - I mean even for the most horrible reasons - like to fight her or at least to breed her. But anyway, he had this dog at my parents house. They already had 2 dogs so this was not a good situation to begin with.

But, it turns out that this dog was a really, really nice dog. She was well behaved (for being bounced around like she had been - she listened well and truly was a nice dog.) Don't believe me? My LAB puppy (you know, labs - they're supposed to be the NICEST dogs?) well, my lab BIT this "pit bull" in the face - and while she did defend herself - it was MY nice LAB that started the fight and continued the fight. Powder, once told to back off, did. Unlike my NICE Lab. This "fight" was nothing more than a couple of dogs having a power struggle and we just ended up separating my puppy from Powder because she got along well with all the other dogs. MINE was the bitch. (Imagine that)

Ok, back to the story of this weekend. So Powder - got lose from my parents house. She found a spot in the fence that she could push up and got out. (see? she didn't even DIG) And, well the first time she did that (I think it was Monday) they were able to get her back. Actually a neighbor brought her home -because get this - she saw the neighbor walking HIS dog, so Powder just went on their walk with them!! Again - nice and a TRAINED dog. My dog DAISY? Yeah, she would have been soooooooooo gone it's not even funny. Powder (the big bad mean pit bull - ha ha) befriended a stranger and his dog and joined them on their walk. Powder should be the POSTER Dog for all pitties!!

That was Monday - come Friday, Powder got out again - (yes, they should have chained her - we have gone over all the should haves and could haves this whole weekend) and unfortunately she didn't come home Friday night. My nephew looked for hours - I went out there that night and drove around. Nothing - she didn't turn up on Saturday morning. So that's what took me to the pound.

I got there and of course they had her. And this is the part that really pisses me off. At everyone - the laws about pitts, my nephew for bringing this dog into the house and our lives, my mom and dad for letting him do it - not laying down stricter rules for my immature nephew. (who is over 21 years old - so it's not like he's 10 or something - he should know better.)

Anyway - the dog was picked up Friday afternoon by the pound. She wasn't hurt or hit by a car or anything - thank GOD. And she didn't hurt anyone or bite anyone - PRAISE JESUS. But, she was deemed a Pit Bull and would now have to be registered as a Pit and I believe that my nephew will have some fines to deal with because he didn't originally register the dog. But, please - how many people rush right down to the pound or where ever and get licenses for stray dogs that they find or take in? I never have. Once I've decided to keep the dog - I've then gotten them licensed. So, I'm thinking that a low percentage of people actually run right out and license and/or register strays. Don't even get me started on cats.

Now, this poor dog is going to be put down all because of it's breed. Not because SHE's a bad dog. It's because of the breed. That just SUCKS!! I think we (well, my nephew) could have gotten her back - but he'd have to register her as a dangerous dog (yeah right - she befriended a strange person and another dog and joined them on their walk - yup - total definition of a DANGEROUS dog.) And then, there's the task of getting or keeping my parents home owners insurance. I'm just sick about it all. And that's why I'm pissed. It's not even MY dog. My nephew brought this dog home and I met it like once or twice - but being the ~~crazy dog lady~~ dog lover I am, I'm heartbroken that this good, nice, sweet, loving dog is going to be killed - probably as I'm typing this.

The only thing that is keeping me somewhat calm is that at least I know what has become of her. She isn't being used in a fighting ring. She isn't suffering (well.. I won't go there) because she got hit by a car or being mistreated my some cruel person.

But she's going to lose her life because of some stupid rule. There are plenty of other dangerous dogs out there. Dalmatians are mean, obviously labs (my precious pup) can be mean, LOTS of dogs CAN be mean. But because she's "deemed" pit - she's automatically a risk. If she was a lab mix - she'd be at home (on a chain -since she's a runner) and enjoying a nice sunny day.

So, this post is dedicated to the LOVING AND PRECIOUS Powder. I wish I had the money and power to fight for you... hopefully in your last days (minus this weekend) you found peace and happiness as every good dog deserves. Correction - as EVERY DOG/Animal deserves.

This and that...

2009-07-11T11:40:00.006-04:00

It's pouring rain outside right now which has really ~~fucked~~ mucked up my plans of driving around with the top down (on the car) in search of garage sales. I've been pretty good this summer - haven't hit many sales (still unemployed right now) and honestly I just don't want more junk in my house. But a couple of weeks ago, my mom and I spent a Saturday in the convertible, got some sun and great deals. I got a couple new (to me) books - and my mom got a bunch of new baby clothes for the grand kiddies - that seem to be at EVERY garage sale.

But since it's raining I have to come up with a plan B.

Oh, I also CAN'T WALK THE DOGS in this weather. Although, I think they'd be FINE walking in the rain - but to go outside and do their business? Ummm.. 'no mom, I can't get my fur wet' is the response I seem to get from them. Whatever... Diva Dogs. Honestly, I can't blame them - I don't even want to go out and I can use an umbrella - so really? They come by this behavior naturally. Shut up now, Dave.

So, as I sit here trying to come up with plan B; clean the house? NO. (I have next week to do that - unemployment CAN have it's benefits.)
Clean my room? NOPE - Unemployment or not -I don't foresee that happening anytime soon.
Eat - Check. (I'm bored - what can I say?)
Call best friend who's on vacay? - Got voice mail. - so not the same when you have scoop.
Do some ~~CRACK~~ FACE BOOKING - find out that one of my "Scott's" (see THIS post) is moving to TEXAS!!
Call best friend again - DAMN YOU VOICE MAIL!!!

Yes, the ORIGINAL Scott is moving to Texas! (Well, technically he's not the Original - but he's the first of the 5 Scott's that I slept with.) But anyway.... And, OK, I don't even see/talk (except on FB) to him anymore. And, he's married with kids, but still, he's moving? To TEXAS? I mean, like that's, REALLY far away!! It's not like he's moving to another city within this state, (where I COULD- IF I WANTED to, STALK HIM) but noooooooooooo he's moving to TEXAS!!

As I said, I don't even see Scott any more, or (really) have feelings for him but it's like the end of something - what I don't know, but whatever it is, it's coming to an end. I actually found his post yesterday that said he was Texas bound, blah blah blah. Something about his ~~Bitch~~ I mean, wife getting a promotion. It's all her fault. (yes, I'm 12)

So of course, I commented on his page and was all "what's in Texas?" oh, and "travel safe" (hoping that this was just some sort of vacation/trip) And all of his other FB friends did the same thing too - so I'm not THAT much of a stalker) and all he said to me was that, and I quote: "wife got a promotion." See? It IS the wife's fault!

I don't even know why this is, um, upsetting? I don't think that's the right word. Maybe unsettling is better. But like I said before, I don't see him or talk with him, but I guess this is just the end of something. Another person/thing that has moved on from my life. Uggghhh. I so badly want this year to be O V E R. Nothing good has come of this year. Well, at least not yet. Maybe all these changes are leading up to something grand? (doubt it) but I'll remain hopeful since I really don't have any other alternative.

So that's all for now - I need to go to SOMETHING. It's almost 1pm and I'm still in my PJ's - Wrong? Maybe. But I did shower - I just haven't finished what I started. Which in a nutshell is my life.

Run Shopgirl Run!

2009-07-10T12:19:00.007-04:00

That's right - you ~~heard~~ read correctly. The Shopgirl RAN. Not for her life. Not for a Twinkie, not even for a sale rack. She just ran. But, unlike Forrest Gump, I didn't just run and run and run. I only ran for about 20 minutes today. But still, I RAN people!!

For those of you that know me. You KNOW I don't RUN. For. Anything. Ever. Even when I played Softball back in school (I played for 10 years) I didn't run - I was the catcher - pretty much so I could basically SIT behind the plate. (I COULD and DID throw the ball to 2nd base with little effort and my favorite thing in the whole wide world back then? Stopping ANY BITCH that tried to get past home plate.) But running bases? Nah... I made sure I hit that ball far far away - so I didn't have to hustle to first or second base. I just never got into running. My friends ran track and cross country back then -but I always had (and still do even after the reduction) big ta-ta's, so running? Pretty much out of the question.

I've always envied runners. Most of them make it look like it's so much fun and effortless. I mean - look - I just typed the word "runner" in my search bar and this is the image that came up:

Look how peace-ful or tranquil she looks. Runners also get to wear the cute running pants and tops - and a fun and bright colored sports tank or even bra because her body/torso are so fit and firm. I mean NIKE, ADDIDAS, SAUCONY and NEW BALANCE were all INVENTED for runner’s right? (C’mon – what did you expect from me, SHOPGIRL – you KNEW it was going to be about the outfit right??) Ok, back to runners - you see them everywhere, on vacation - uggh running on the beach. And you bet your ASS they're thighs aren't rubbing together so badly that they're not only getting chaffed but possibly a small fire breaking out between their thunder thighs. No, THEY'RE thighs probably don't even TOUCH - much less MOLEST each other the way mine do when running (or walking or standing still, or well, you get the picture.)

On my lunch break at the old job, I'd pass all the runners and think to myself – ‘I should give running a try - it might clear my head and reduce some of the stress I'm feeling here.’ I thought about that every day, pulling out of the office and on my way to Chipotle or Panera for my 1000+ calorie lunch. An hour later, I'd roll myself back to my desk in a Mexican/carb induced coma and think "tomorrow - tomorrow I'll work out.” Of course that never happened and I have the extra 30 pounds to prove it.

But you see, (here come the excuses) the problem - besides trying to move 100+++++ pounds at a quick-ish speed - is that I don't look like the tranquil runner losing herself in her own thoughts, clearing her head of the days events, brainstorming for a better way to solve the current crisis back at her desk. No, instead I look like an escaped mental patient not running, but thudding along, while flailing my arms in what would appear to be some psychotic episode, gasping and wheezing for my next breath. Instead of cute jogging pants I'd have plain running pants (no cute patterned ones for me - since they don't come in my size) and an oversized t-shirt to conceal my flabby (instead of toned) torso. The only thing brightly colored on ME would be my FACE. It would be twenty seven shades of red and I'm sure people who passed ME on the side of the road, would consider dialing 911 before they ever thought that what I was doing was meant to be an exercise of mental release.

And now that brings me to here, today. At XXX pounds (so. Not. Telling. So don’t even ask) I, Shopgirl aka Thunder Thighs, just ran. And I didn’t die! I didn’t look cute either, but I didn’t die and I didn’t quit. Let me tell you this, there is NOTHING tranquil about running. Nothing. I’ll say it again – just incase you didn’t fully comprehend that. There is NOTHING tranquil about running. Well, at least DURING the running part. I did feel great and even a couple hours later – still do! Like I’ve said before – I’ve always envied runners and have always wanted to run in a marathon (ok a short one) but still, I wanted to do it. And I don’t want to walk it. I want to run (most of) it. So, one night I was on ~~Crack~~Facebook and saw that a friend of mine from high school posted that she just completed her first run. Being the ~~nosey~~inquisitive mind that I am, I commented on her status and found out that she is trying The Couch to 5K Running Plan. (I’m not advocating this plan – nor am I getting paid for doing it, so if you’re interested in it – look it up.) After reviewing it - which it isn’t anything really all that new, I’ve seen similar plans in Health magazines before; I decided to give it a try. That was last week (or maybe two weeks ago). What? I procrastinate – deal.

So, I finally got myself up this am and decided to go for my first run. My friend is a week ahead of me (yes, I know we could have run together and motivated each other and yada yada yada – shut up.) and she told me that on her 3^rd day of the plan she didn’t feel so winded and was actually looking forward to her second week. (We’ll see how that goes for me) She gave me a few tips and last night I charged my iPod and figured out how to use the Stopwatch function. Who knew that my iPod had a stopwatch? I didn’t, that’s fo sure! And this morning I got myself dressed in my boring black Capri length running pants and XXL Blue T-shirt (it WAS a Tommy Hilfiger – had to throw in SOME cuteness) and headed to the park to try out this running thing. What? You thought I’d just run in my neighborhood on the sidewalk? Pfft! My neighbors already think I’m a dork – I don’t need them seeing me trying to RUN.

So stay tuned to find out if I go for my second run on Sunday. According to the “Plan” (which is 9 weeks long) I’m supposed to give myself a rest day in between runs. And since I’m ALL ABOUT following rules, I’m going to rest as I’m told. Now, if I only had a job, I could use my “rest day” to go out and buy cute running shoes (Nike and iPod have this combo stopwatch/trainer thingy that I MUST have.) and a cute little outfit/cap-visor/new sunglasses (you know, for the sun glare on the running path) and a new water bottle for all the H2O I’m going to be drinking. Stimulate the economy indeed. Would somebody hurry up and hire me already? I’ve got 6 months of shopping to catch up on.

See you in two days!

Breaking news.....

2009-06-24T11:01:00.002-04:00

June 24th, 10:30am - location: shopgirl's hood.

This just in....
5 pound "wanna be dog" narrowly misses death by one 70lb and one 30lb "real dogs" because "purse dog's" owner allowed her to run free into the road with no care at all about stupid insignificant dog. As the real dogs owners controlled them, purse dog continued to run towards her imminent death as her owner leisurely strolled over to gather her dog.

Ok - so I'm not a journalist and my play by play needs some work, but here's what went down. I'm walking my dogs - minding our own business, and they're actually being really good (shocker - even to ME). When all of a sudden I hear someone calling out to their dog and I use the word "dog" losely because what it really is, is a 5 lb- good for nothing-except to look cute in a dog purse - but even then - just fucking ri-god-damn-diculous to have such a small effing dog - dog. But whatever.

Anyway - this "dog" comes running towards my 70 and 30 lb dogs and as I try to controll my dogs and tell them that this is NOT a squeaker toy or a snack, the other dogs owner? Does. Nothing!!!

They finally get their dog back into their yard - ok I thought - wrong. The effing dog comes back!! Now my dogs are like - "it's on... like Donkey Kong..." and I'm trying to hold back 100 pounds of dogs that want to rip this "dog" to shreds and the the owner? Casually. strolls. over. calmly saying.....c'mon Toby (or whatever the fuck this dogs name was). All the while, my dogs are salivating more than Pavlov's dog ever did. Ummm.. Stupid C-U-Next Tuesday bitch? Your dog? about to die if you don't move your fucking ass a little quicker. And my dogs? will probably get the death penalty because of it and then? Yeah, it WILL BE ON - LIKE DONKEY KONG. UGGGHHHH.. People - there are fucking LEASH Laws for a REASON!!! Keep your dog - no matter how small or big - on a fucking LEASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So much for a peaceful start to my day!!

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

2009-06-23T18:04:00.002-04:00

Hmmm... I think I can remember how to write a post and then update my blog. Hmmm... ok, easy does it.. I type in my blog address in the address bar.... http://missdaisydog.blogspot.com.... ok.... slowly... here we go... phew! It's still up and running - even though I haven't posted or barely commented on anyone else’s' blog in like for-freaking-ever. Ok... click on "new post" - whoa! That's A LOT of BLANK space staring back at me waiting for words or even just a few taps of they keypad to state something, ANYTHING that has been on my mind lately. .............................................................

hmmmm.................. what. is. on. my. mind?

yup... that's pretty much it.......... a whole lotta B L A N K

But yet there is, as Dave Matthews so eloquently put it back in 1996, So Much To Say. (Seriously, it was 1996 Yes. it. was - I just googled it and it's now playing on my computer) Where has 13 years gone? Anyhoodle - as Mr. Matthews put it:

A year of crying and the words creep up inside
Creep into mind yeah
So much to say, so much to say, so much to say, so much to say
So much to say, so much to say, so much to say, so much to say
Here we have been standing for a long long time
Treading trodden trails for a long long time

I find sometimes its easy to be myself
Sometimes I find better to be somebody else

There is so much to say and so much to talk about yet I can't seem to get it all out. It hasn't been a year, but it sure feels like that long - being unemployed has certainly taken me for a wild - yet uneventful - ride. I'm so lost right now without my job and I'm at odds with myself for that very statement, because I really didn't like my job - at least not for the last year. Sure, there were parts (the people mostly) that I liked. The traveling - that was great - California a couple times a year (and Southern Cal at that) and then the East Coast - but I struggled to even stay at that job for the past year. I looked for a new job even more so than I am right now, but I was just to chicken to up and leave. And now, here I am, wish granted; summer off and not working at a job that I don’t like, and I’m lost.

The thing about my unemployment is this: now that I have all this "free time" on my hands? It's getting me no where - literally. I mean, I do NOTHING all DAMN day. Sure, I walk my dogs (that's the ONLY CONSTANT in my life right now) Everyday we walk. I mix it up sometimes, 3-4 miles one day and then maybe just a 1/2 - 1 mile around the 'hood. And that equates to the sum total of my day. I have no money right now (to spend on anything but the BARE NECESSATIES) so I don't shop. Even when I had my severance I didn't shop (ok - a whole lot) because I was trying to pay a bunch of stuff off - hoping that I'd be back to work before it ran out. Nope. That didn't happen.

Now I wish I would have spent some more of my severance on ME. I wish I would have gone on that vacation to Ireland I was thinking about or at the very LEAST - gone to FL and stayed with my sis for a couple of weeks. Who wants to go to Florida now, in the summer? It's like 150 degrees there now. I'd fucking explode from the heat! Uggh.. And the bugs? No thanks. I should've said "fuck looking for a job that doesn't exist in OH" and went to Florida in February when it was 70-80 degrees there and 2 fucking degrees here.

I'm pissed. At myself. For not doing that. Now, here it is - 6 months since the "massive layoff" and I'm still in my house. Doing nothing.

I used to think I wanted to have summers off and that I’d do all this “stuff” with my free time. You know what? I’m soooo not that girl. I don’t have a plan. I don’t have a schedule. And even when I do have a schedule, I rarely follow it. Something will be on TV. or someone will call or I’ll take a 4 hour nap (I’m not lying about this one.) and then all of a sudden Monday turns into Thursday and January is all of a sudden June.

Ok - I do have to interject here - I have done stuff. I've worked on my house - planted flowers, re-arranged the furniture in every room and in general just done "house stuff." I also volunteered at my church during Bible School. This solidified my choice of never - EVER - wanting to have children, much less more than one. (I do like kids - I just don't want any.) Some people don't want a dog... I don't want kids. But it was fun none-the-less. And, I learned A LOT about the women AND men in my church. Vibrators, honeymoon tapes and drunkeness oh my!

But, I still feel like such a failure for not having a job right now. I mean, I’ve been working since I was 14 years old. Ok, it was babysitting – but I babysat every day after school until I turned 15, when I could become a lifeguard and earn a real paycheck (and meet hot guys in bathing suits– who am I kidding – that’s why I took THAT job) where they took things like FICA and SS out of that paycheck. As soon as I was able to drive I had myself a job at the mall or anywhere else that I could get a paycheck every Friday.

It’s something that I’ve done for over 20 years and I’ve realized that it wasn’t the JOB that I went to everyday. I couldn’t have given a S#!T about my “career," it was the people and the gossip or whatever was going on that got me up everyday and into the office. I also just happened to be really good at whatever job I did so I usually stayed at said job until something better (read: more fun and more money) came along.

Now, I have two dogs that I spend every. waking. (and sleeping.) minute with. Do you know what kind of “scoop” you get with two dogs? None? NOPE. You get the POOPER Scoop kind. Seriously, I get the “shit” all day long from these two. Yeah, I know it’s not funny. It's not SUPPOSED to be funny. It’s pathetic.

I also had this grandiose idea that I’d become this FANTASTIC writer and somehow be DISCOVERED while I was out of work. You know what? You ACTUALLY HAVE TO WRITE in order to be discovered. And I have nothing (or at least the will) to write about! I used to write about all the crazy resumes I reviewed that day. Or all the crazy people that I’ve interviewed. Now the only interaction I have is with two dogs and while I love them very much (shut up Dave, I do love her!) there really isn’t much to write about.

Well, except this: Last night I discovered what looked like a ZIT on my little Miss Sassafras -my new-ish puppy. So, being the zit-picker/poker that I am, I POPPED Sassy’s Zit. Yes, my evenings now consist of watching (and re-watching) the Real Housewives of New Jersey and popping my dogs zits. I. so. Need. To. Get. Back. To. Work. Because, really? I’m not thinking Random House Publishing or any other publishing house is going to come knocking to hear about the complexion dilemma of little Miss Sassafras.

They’re also, and I’m just guessing here, not interested in the following that occurred in my life today:

10am: 1^st call of the day from Dave to tell me he voted and to remind me to vote.

10:15am: Finally got my butt out of bed – what? Where do I need to be today?

10:17am: Let dogs out, made toast from left over Fathers day bread from Panera – YUM.

10:30am: Walk dogs

10:45am – Had fight/discussion with dogs that dead squirrel in road is not “snack” and I still can, and will feed them when we get home.

11:30am – back home, dogs fed and I’m off to vote against Mayoral Recall.

11:45am – in my car wondering why I wasted my time and how much of my tax money went into this vote to recall a Mayor that we (as a city) just voted IN. Seriously, this money? I’m thinking could go to jobs in this city to hmm, I don’t know, employ someone like me!!

11:50am – I’m hungry. Lunch at Subway. Can’t decide between sensible Turkey Sub or yummy higher calorie Spicy Italian Sub and decide to play nice and let person behind me go ahead of me.

11:55am – No good deed goes unpunished. Person behind me (now in front of me) orders lunch for her entire workforce – ummmm? Shouldn’t you have called that in?

12:30 (stomach has actually flipped inside out b/c I’m so hungry): order/pay for my Sammy and finally feeding my pie hole.

12:34pm – 2^nd call of the day from Dave. Yes. I. Voted.

12:35pm – Yes. I’m. Eating. No, the thought NEVER occurred to me to come to your office and go get YOU lunch.

1pm: Need grocery items – (and whatever else is on sale.)

1:20pm: realize I forgot my checkbook have to get money out of ATM and mad about stupid ATM fees from both bank and said ATM machine.

1:21pm: Think about getting my own ATM machine business.

1:22pm: Think this is too hard.

1:23pm: Pay for groceries – head home.

1:30pm – get home and realize I took too much money out of ATM – now have ATM fees AND possible overdraft charge. Grrrrrr.

1:35pm – SPEED to bank to put money back into account – cross fingers and pray cash credits account first.

2pm-5:50 – surf the internet. Send several text messages to friends begging to meet for drinks once they're done working.

5:51pm – Yippie! someone responded. Hopefully I'll have good "scoop" for blog fodder tomorrow…

stay tuned!

Oh - and Random House? Or any other Publishing house out there? I'm a MUCH better writer - feel free to send me an ADVANCE and I'll show you!

Oh John Hughes - how I love thee....

2009-05-28T10:59:00.003-04:00

You are the master of teen angst. And for that, I heart you.

Breakfast Club
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Weird Science (LURVE LURVE LURVE Robert Downey Jr.)
Sixteen Candles - Jake - need I say more?
Planes, Trains and Automobiles - "that's not a pillow!" (ok - not a teen movie, but still hilarious!)
Uncle Buck

and the best of all:

Pretty in Pink - I heart BLANE - even if "it's not a name, it's an appliance."

Seriously, what's NOT to love about this movie? There's Molly Ringwald - who made all of ~~us girls~~ me in the late 80's bring out our inner designer and I'm pretty sure inspired the Madonna look - or maybe it was the other way around? I don't know which came first - but I was inspired by her that's for sure. I even made some of my own clothes in HS (even though I wasn't from "the wrong side of the tracks"), and unfortunately they didn't turn out as cool as hers.

Oh, how about the DUCKMAN? DUCKY - I mean, how cute and adoreable is he? And his undying love and somewhat stalker-ish obsession with our herion Andie? While today, it would probably earn him a restraining order, back then it was what every girl wanted - right? And, don't you just want to cry when he tells Andie to go after Blane? Seriously, this is the MAN. The Duckman. (bonus points if you remember his ACTUAL name in the movie.)

Ugghh, but for all of our love and adoration for Ducky - there's my repulsiveness and distain for Steff, Blane's friend portrayed by James Spader. Yecccchhhh.. I swear, it was this movie that has turned me off to him forever. Even though he's won accolades and awars for his role on "The Practice" I admit, I've never watched it because of my hate for Steff. Wrong? Maybe. But true.

As I sit here today, ~~not looking for a job on the internet~~ taking a break from CareerBuilder surfing, I can't help but smile as those two crazy kids, Blane and Andie, finally get together at the end of Prom. I still, to this day, want to be Andie and be at the Prom (in my very own designed/and made from my friends 20 year old dress and my dad's cheap prom dress) making out with Blane.

I so wanted to be Andie -not only because of her cool (hand-made) clothes, and the "I don't give a shit about the popular kids" attitude, but also - because she got to make out with the dreamy BLANE (Andrew McCarthey) in this movie. Ok, so BLANE is about the queerist (real word?) name in the whole wide world - but I would just call him B. or maybe he had a normal middle name? Whatever. I loved Blane - didn't you? I still heart him to this day. How excited was I to see him on Lipstick Jungle (sadly, now off the air.) looking as DREAMY and ironically, still a "richie?" Still. mad. that. it. was. cancelled.

Blane, er Andrew McCarthy, reminds me of this boy, Scott (*not his real name) that I was in love, love, love with in High School. (Co-incidence?) Unfortuanately, I didn't end up at Prom with Scott. Or anywhere else for that matter. Actually, I was the Duckman in THAT relationship. But I ~~blame~~ place responsibility of my crush on Scott to Andrew McCarthy. Oh, how I had the teen angst (and - ironically again, ongoing in my life - I mean, for reals, the guy keeps showing up in my life out of the blue all the time!!) for Scott.

I grew up with Scott - our last names were similar, so in the small school that I went to, Scott and I were always seated next to each other, in the same home rooms, if it was in alphabetical order - there we were - right next to each other. But, sadly, we just became friends. That's it. I mean, he HAD to know that I wanted it to be MORE than just friends? Right? See? I am the DUCKMAN in this scenario.

When he went off to college - which happened to be where my best friend had gone the year before and my cousin and aunt lived - I would go down to visit ~~him~~ them. This went on for, well... too long. And, ironically? Lead to five (5) more Scott's in my life. Hmmmm...

Honestly, I really did go onto meet and date 5 Scott's! So, the 2nd guy named Scott - was just a coincidence, but 5? That's just weird. Right?

Oh the drama, the ANGST. Well, gotta run... there re-playing Pretty in Pink again!!!

Fuddy Duddy, Old Lady, GROWN-UP.... sigh.....

2009-05-14T22:33:00.004-04:00

It's official. I've become one of those, oh God, I don't even want to say it. Ok, so I'll just whisper it ok? Ready? *Deep Breath* I'm OLD. No, I've become one of those older people. You know the ones, when discussing today's youth, they start sentences with phrases like "in my day" and "when I was his/her age." But today, I did it. I was talking with my SIL discussing my nephew and I said it. I said "his generation just doesn't want to work like my generation did." Dear God and baby Jesus - where in the FFFFFFFFFFFFF did that come from? And, when will the "I used to walk to school every day UPHILL both ways" line come out?

Then, later tonight I was driving to my SIL's house and as I cruised down her street (while talking to my BFF on the phone - see? I'm not THAT old) these KIDS (probably like 14-15ish) were riding dirt bikes or mini bikes on.the.road. (which is ILLEGAL in my hometown) (I know this b/c I did the EXACT SAME THING when I was 15).

Anyway, they were coming right at me, they didn't even pick one side of the road - I had to drive RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE! So, as I'm talking with my friend, I yell at these kids "it's ILLEGAL to ride those on the street!" I. am. my. dad. And - this is not a good thing in any way -shape - or -form.

Yeah, they just looked at me like I was some crazy old-no fun having - person. Which is probably what I did when:

I. was. their. age.

Oh God, make it stop!

Turning the economic downturn into an upbeat road trip!

2009-05-06T22:51:00.002-04:00

So.... being unemployed DOES have it's perks. For one thing, I have all this time on my hands to do virtually anything (within my limited budget) I want to.

Well, Tuesday - I decided that I wanted to meet the FABULOUS Jen Lancaster - the author of 3 and now 4 of my favorite books:

Bitter is the New Black - Confessions of a Condescending, Egomanical, self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry a Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office.
Bright Lights, Big Ass - A Self-indulgent, Surly Ex-Sorority Girl's guide to Why it Often Sucks in the City, or Who Are These Idiots and Why Do They All Live Next Door to Me?
Such a Pretty Fat - Or, Why Pie is Not the Answer.

And her newest book:
Pretty in Plaid: A Life, a Witch, and a Wardrobe, or The Wonder Years Befoee the Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smart-Ass Phase

- which went on sale YESTERDAY at Borders everywhere. And, in Birmingham, MI where I (and my also unemployed blogger palio - Cookie) got to meet and greet with the FABULOUS Jen herself - and got my VERY OWN COPY - SIGNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (how cool is THAT?)

I soooooooooooooooo couldn't have done THAT if I was still working, well, without taking a few vacation days. And - it VIRTUALLY cost me NOTHING - How? you ask? Well, because of FORMER job - where I traveled MY ASS off - I earned a ton of hotel points - so I was able to get my hotel room for FREE. Said hotel not only offered a FREE breakfast in the morning, but on Tuesday afternoon/evening when we got there? They were also offering FREE dinner too! How about THAT for the non-working girls?!?

It was soooooo much fun! It was an 80's themed party and I was TOTALLY rocking my BIG HAIR, BRIGHT BLUE Eye shadow and Polo Shirt with the collar TOTALLY FLIPPED UP and of COURSE - my Pegged Pants and Penny Loafers!! I was like, Oh MY GOD - soooooooooo cute!

See, I'll show you:

But wait! There's more! This morning, after our FREE breakfast, we headed to the MOTHER SHIP (Ikea - for those of you that don't read my blog) where I had to return several things that I had previously purchased but have decided that I just ~~changed my mind about~~ didn't want/need them - so I got a GIFT CARD/STORE CREDIT to spend in IKEA (I consider this FREE money - since said purchases were made when I WAS working and had a disposable income). So, I got to do a little shopping at IKEA - and it didn't affect my checkbook AT ALL - so that's a win in my book.

Then, on the way home - we stopped off at Tony Packo's for a YUMMY lunch.

All in all - an UPBEAT and FABULOUS road trip able to be had because of the economic downturn...

Enjoy - and I'm sorry, but you'll have to get your own book to check miss Jen out or check her out at: http://www.jennsylvania.com/

Now... I have to get back to my book!!

Oh, and there was this WAY cute boy (too young for me and maybe just a bit to metro sexual for even shopgirl's taste) that was there and waited in the TWO HOUR LONG LINE to get books signed for his SISTER who lives in California. HOW CUTE/QUEER is that????

I heart him for being so sweet to his sissy....

Jobs that I just may not be qualified for.....

2009-05-04T13:43:00.003-04:00

Planting Grass - the shopgirls way......

1. Scratch up the ground to prepare for grass seed

2. Spread grass seed evenly to ensure proper seeding

3. Cover seed with light cover of top soil and hay.

4. Take your time Blocking off area (like the better part of a Sunday afternoon.) to ensure seeds will not be disturbed while grass begins to grow.

5. Explain to two (very cute) dogs that the area is blocked off for a REASON.......

NO, Daisy! I don't think it's cute that you're playing Peek-a-boo with the rope!!

So.... Landscaping? Yeah, it's off the list of new careers....

It’s all about the bennies (benefits that is)

2009-04-02T22:55:00.006-04:00

So, it’s been about two and a half months since I was laid off from my job, and sadly I’m still unemployed. But, that’s not what this post is about. Today I want to talk about something that has/is on my mind all.the.time. BENEFITS. Benefits are an important part of any job – I know, I am was a recruiter and I talked these points up during EVERY.INTERVIEW.I. CONDUCTED.

And now, that I’m UNEMPLOYED, it’s ALL.I.THINK ABOUT. Well, that, AND the PAY of my next job (will it be the same or better than my last job or am I going to have to take a cut.) But it’s mostly the benefits. Alright, I think about the Benefits and the “WHEN” I’ll actually LAND a job. Because it would be nice to know how much longer I’ll be sans-job. It would also be nice to get a job while I still have some severance coming it because my bank account could use a much needed boost right about now.

Back to the benefits though. I’ve been doing a LOT of thinking about the benefits. What will my benefits be like at my next job? Because this time around? I’m making sure I get a “great” package.

Of course I’ll want:

· Medical
· Dental
· Vision
· 401(k) – well, maybe – we’ll see how the stock market is doing.
· Stock options
· Flexible Spending Account
· Hmmm.. travel … but maybe a little less than the last job.
· Telecommuting
· Flexible schedules
· FAT Expense Account

Ok… so the last three would be nice to have but aren’t deal breakers.

Now, on the other hand, being un-employed DOES have some benefits. Don’t believe me?

Look what the girls and I got to do today, on April 2, 2009 in OHIO where the weather was a BALMY 70 degrees!!

I was out catching some rays too - even got myself a sun burn too - but I'll spare you the pics - as I'm not "picture perfect" yet. You'd think with all this "time" on my hands, I'd be little miss work out queen - guess my walks are not working the cardio as well I'd like. Guess I'll have to work on that, and well... my tan!

This wonderful moment in the sun with my poochers was brought to you by the state of the unemployed.....

I'm back (and, at warp speed!)

2009-03-28T13:38:00.003-04:00

Woo-hoo! I've got my computer back!!! No more sitting in a library that needs to be patrolled by POLICE!! Sheesh - I thought I lived in bo-dunk city, OHIO - not Compton or something like that from the movies... (I'm such a white girl.....)

Anyhoodle - I'm back - for a minute anyway - just to say "hey!" and brag a little about my "computer fixing" experience. This guy that I took my computer too, fixed/cleaned out and added more memory to my computer and has me all current on the latest and greatest software updates and he did it all for under $40 and 2 days!! I just love when I get a bargain AND excellent customer service!!

Seriously - my computer is O.L.D. and if I had the money (and a job) I'd just go buy a new computer - because I really want a lap top now - but for $40 (instead of $500+) I have a faster computer than I did 2 days ago and I got the nicest guy ever to fix my computer. He did the same thing for my dad's computer for only $20!! (mine needed and got, more memory.)

So - now I can upload, download and blog blog blog at the speed of light (well as fast as the internet connection, that I can afford right now, will let me) - all in the privacy and SAFETY of my own house!! I too, have a security system in my house - no gun toting law man -but I have these two security features that will protect their master on command:

Yeah, they look all cute and cuddly - but look at THESE choppers: (BTW: it's the LITTLE puppy that instigates all the fighting with Daisy....)

But, SERIOUSLY? Here's how they REALLY feel about being on GUARD DUTY:

What could be worse than losing your job and the only interaction with peeps is via the internet?

2009-03-27T16:56:00.002-04:00

Well, for starters? NOT having your computer for THREE WHOLE DAYS!!! So, I'm sitting here at the library on a S L O W internet connection trying to log onto my blogger account and checking emails and it's literally like watching paint dry.... Seriously I know that the internet is FREE and all here at the library - but does it have to be this SLOW?? And, I know I really have NO WHERE TO BE right now -being jobless and all, but that doesn't mean I have ANY MORE PATIENCE. Oh well, I think I get my computer back tomorrow and woo hoo it will have MORE memory and the guy tells me that it's running a WHOLE LOT FASTER!!!

I wish I could install a memory chip into my pretty little head and make my old lathargic ass move a little faster - wouldn't that be great?? I also wish that I could remove about 100 pounds of useless fat from my ass and my gut, but hey, if I'm dreaming? I'm going to go big. Speaking of big - I'd get new boobs too. Not bigger - just perkier. Whoa - sorry, maybe that was a little to much TMI for a Friday and in a PUBLIC LIBRARY no less, sorry - sometimes I just type the randomness that is in my pretty little head.

Today I'm at a nicer library (not the one in my hood.) Here, people are ACTUALLY quiet. The Library in my hood? Actually has a COP on duty - given the look of the clientele yesterday... I pretty much understand, but seriously - when did they have to have POLICE OFFICERS in the public library? I live in a small town - or so I thought, but I guess it's not a crime free town. Sad - can't even go to the library and feel safe. Or maybe you can - since the "law" is there.

Well this post is pretty much going nowhere - I just felt like I had to get some of these really meaningless thoughts out of my head and since I was sitting in front of a computer (even though it's not mine) I thought I'd unload here.

A better post will follow - I promise...

Where do I even start . . .

2009-03-23T19:33:00.006-04:00

It's been sooooo long since I've posted here - I'm not even sure I know how to do it anymore. Awwww... who am I kidding - it's like a bicycle (or sex) no matter how long it's been, once you're back in the saddle - it all comes back - um right? Well, maybe - because it's been a LONG time since I've been on a bike and well, about the same amount of time for the other since I've blogged. YIKES!!

Well, lets see here - what's been going on in Shopgirls' world?

Unemployment:
Ok - so minus the fact that I'm earning a paycheck - I am enjoying my time at home. I wish I could hit the lottery or something or wish my house was paid off -because, I think I could be really good at this "stay at home" gig. The "shopgirl time" (well, minus the actual SHOPPING) is AWESOME and plentiful - WAY, WAY better than my last gig - where I only had weekends off and no Personal Time Off at all, however, the benefits and the actual pay well, to put it bluntly - SUCK ASS. But this year? On St. Patty's Day? I didn't have to use ANY vacay time and I got to party at my leisure. How great is that??

This past month in Ohio has also been VERY SUNNY - some days were even down-right WARM too - I got to enjoy EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!!! I've worked in my yard, walked my dogs and have visited friends in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY!!!

Oh - and MIGRAINES?? I don't think I've had ONE since January 21st!!! (my PAROLE date of the former job) Hmmm.... connection? I think so!!

Oh,, and NAPS!!! Why oh why did I fight NAPS when I was little? NAPS are AWESOME!!! Especially around 1 or 2 in the afternoon and with a dog on each side of me in bed.... AWESOME.... Why don't they have Nap time in Corporate America? Well, they do - they're called MEETINGS but why is the actual "napping" frowned upon? I guarantee - if we could actually NAP for the HOUR PLUS bull-shit meeting the EXACT same results would be reached.

The job-hunt:
Well, I have no funny stories about resume searches -because, like I stated - I'm UNEMPLOYED and no longer have access to review resumes and look at the silly reasons people list for leaving or ridicule their incredible spelling errors. My resume, however, is posted ON. EVERY. SINGLE. WEBSITE. OUT.THERE. (Hopefully, error free and "recruiters making fun of me"-free.) I am interviewing this week so that's a good thing. Hopefully something will come of that.

Dental ~~Dis~~Pleasure:
Today, I went to the dentist. Usually this is not blog-worthy, however, this was a new dentist and can I just tell you? I think I'm in LOVE with this dentist. Not because he's hot or anything like that - because he's not. It's because, this is the first time in my 30+ years of going to the dentist (I have REALLY bad teeth - even though I brush and floss regularly), that I ALMOST - ENJOYED my visit!! I know! AND, I even had TWO cavities filled!!!

Ok - I know, you are nuts shopgirl -but listen, I usually end up crying like a big fat baby when I'm in the dentist chair. Not because I'm scared or anything -it's usually the pain and believe it or not - I have a small mouth (shut up now, Dave) and to keep it open (seriously Dave, shut up) for them to fill a cavity? My TMJ goes into overload and I'm just in total pain. Ok - so I still freaked ~~the fuck~~ out a little bit today when he gave me the "shot of Novocaine" but after that, it was a BREEZE.

They had this thing-a-ma-bob that propped my mouth open and had a light in it so the dentist could see AND it had a suction thing on it so I didn't gag the entire time. It was FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!!! My doc filled those two cavities AND took several molds of my mouth (I'm getting a LOT of dental work done) in less than an HOUR!! AND??? my jaw didn't hurt at all AND I had no headache from it all AND?? No tears!!! OMG - is this how going to the dentist is supposed to be??

You see, I used to go to this ~~NAZI~~ other dentist who was just PURE EVIL... He ~~was~~ is a total PRICK and has this "I'm God" attitude. I should have switched dentists a long long time ago, but honestly, I'm just too lazy and even though he's a douche-bag, he was a pretty good dentist and in all my years of going to the dentist? I've never, ever had a "pleasant" doctor - EVER. So, today?? I can't even tell you how AWESOME it was.

And - you know what's even better? This dentist that I went to? It's my OLD dentists' back up doctor. I only found him because while my ~~prick~~ dentist was out of town, I had a problem and called this new guy - and the old secretary picked up and we started talking and she told me that I should come see this guy from now on. She left the old dentist to go work for this guy and so did another gal from the office - it's hysterical!! And, I'm not the only patient that has "secretly" left the old prick to go to the new and improved one!!

Puppyhood:
I've changed my puppers name AGAIN. This time I think it's for good. Her name is Sassafras - or Sassy for short. It's because she IS little Miss Sassypants. Every. Time. I. Tell. Her. No... she "sasses" back at me!! So, Sassy suits her just fine. She is soooooooooooooooo smart tooo!! She is pretty much house broken/potty trained (no.... she doesn't use the potty) she just knows NOT to potty in the house. But, if she DOES have to potty, she uses the puppy pads (4x4 maxi pads - that I wish I would have invented because I'd be rich - and I could stay at home!). She enjoys driving Miss Daisy absolutely bonkers, and I thoroughly enjoy this to no end.... They (Sassy and Daisy) are soooo stinking fun to watch it absolutely makes my day to see them play and romp and wrestle with each other.

Sassy had her first vet visit last week. Not cheap - thank God I only have one more round of shots (for a while anyway) and hopefully I'll be gainfully employed (or will hit those lottery numbers) by the time she needs "fixed" or else I may be taking up a collection.

Well, that's all for now... I guess I should prepare myself for my interview tomorrow, because I DO have to get back to work..... eventually anyway..