SHOPGIRL'S BLOG

Look! I did have a blog post!!

2011-02-22T12:25:00.000-05:00

Problem is... I wrote it back in November (sssshhhh - while I was at work) and emailed it to my home account so I could post it on "my time" - I know.. but I wrote it while I was on my "Lunch" - really.. I did.. Anyhoodle... Here it is... Obviously I was irritated (IMAGINE THAT) with Pet Supplies Plus...

Enjoy!

Pet Supplies “Plus” – just what does the PLUS mean?

I’ll tell you what it means. It means that if you want to go to their store and just merely “exchange” an item for the EXACT SAME THING? Well, they’ll allow it, PLUS they have PAPERWORK PLUS for you to fill out.

Seriously, I’m not lying when I say paperwork PLUS. Last night I went to my Pet Supplies Plus store two times – yes, I said two. I had also gone the night before. Reason? My wonderful, lovely, just downright adorable – yet WORST.DOGS.EVER, had caused some major destruction at my house recently (more on that in a minute) so I was there the night before to purchase a “gentle” or “soft” muzzle for them. Don’t get me started on crating them – tried that – in fact, thought I was done so I sold my crates this summer at a garage sale. As Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman: Big mistake, Big, HUGE! Well, I’m off to go shopping (for another form of dog containment).

A-hem, so I’m back to PSP last night on my way home from work to return the too big muzzles I bought the night before for the next size smaller, and I see an EVEN BETTER muzzle for only a few bucks more. So, I grab two new muzzles and head to the register. This will be simple, I’ll just exchange the old for the new and improved and be on my merry way, right? WRONG. Oh.so.very.wrong.

I get to the register and explain to the cashier what I want to do and she just gives me this look. You know the one, well, there are so many nowadays – the “what the fuck do you want me to do about it because can’t you see that I’m talking to my co-worker about the placement of my next tattoo or piercing that will most certainly ensure that I always work in a place where I’m required to wear either a name tag or hair net (or both)?” kind of look. Or the, well, I think you get my drift about the retail worlds idea of or lack their of “customer service.”

So as I tell her that I want to exchange the one for the other – she just up and turns away from the register with both my new and old merchandise and disappears into the makeshift office and then a couple of minutes later returns with an even more pleasant “manager” to “assist” me with my return. The manager starts off by demanding for my receipt – no “hi, how are you?” no, “was something wrong with your purchase/item?” Nope. Just an abrupt: “I need your receipt.” I hand her my receipt and she, (without even looking at me) asks “do you just want me to put this back on your card?” Um? No. Seriously, what was going on in the office for the 10 minutes that I was left alone at the register without MY merchandise and the NEW merchandise that I thought I explained to Miss Manners Cashier that I wanted to just do an exchange? I realize that it was not an EVEN exchange – but is WAS an exchange of merchandise – NOT a return.

So, I start over and explain to the ever-so-pleasant manager that, yada yada yada, I bought these muzzles yesterday – but now wanted these new and different muzzles today. She again responded; “do you want me to return them to your card?” Um, HELLO?? Are you actually here.in.the.store.with me? NO, I want to EXHANGE – E-X-C-H-A-N-G-E them for new merchandise. She, just as frustrated as I’ve become, says that she has to return the merchandise and THEN I can buy the different ones.

In my pretty little world, this transaction – is considered an exchange – but hey, I’m old school and when I worked in retail we actually talked to and smiled at the customer. Our cell phones weren't going off throughout the entire transaction and maybe on some days we really didn't care - but mostly we did care about our customers. Then I realize that I, like Dorothy, am not in Kansas anymore. So, defeated, I say “yes, I’d like to return them and then purchase these new muzzles.”

Now, here is where the PLUS comes in Pet Supplies Plus. There is a ridiculous amount of paperwork involved in what one would seem to think is just an easy exchange. And picture if you will, that while I’m at PSP – I’m there with my dogs (to make sure I buy the correct one that fits so I don’t have to come back and do this all over again) who are the WORST.DOGS.EVER. And if you check out the pictures below, you’ll understand why I want to muzzle them – if not duct tape their mouths shut.

Now, I have been in the store already for 15 minutes prior with said BAD DOGS trying to fit a correct muzzle on them – and I’m sure you can IMAGINE how that has gone over.

I am now sweating and so UNBELIEVABLY stressed out and anxious that I don’t even think a Zanax or fifth of vodka would do anything to calm my nerves, and this is when the manager pulls out the PLUS SIZED PAD OF PAPERWORK that must be filled out in triplicate (I’m not lying – triplicate) before I can exchange, er return and re-buy their product.

So, as I stand there at the register with these two crazy dogs, sweat dripping down my back and off my forehead, I’m forced to fill out this paperwork while trying to control my ~~asshole~~ precious babies and keep them away from the other dogs. This, right here? Is why I NEVER TAKE THEM ANYWHERE – and probably why they act like ASSHOLES whenever another dog is around.

We finally complete all the paperwork – the manager puts the original purchases’ return onto a GIFT CARD and hands it to me – then rings up my new purchase and I hand back over the Gift Card to pay for said merchandise. (Really PSP – you think this is more efficient than a simple exchange?)

I start to collect my things and untangle myself out of the leashes - because Daisy and Sassy have pretty much made it their mission to make me fall – you make us wear muzzles? Fine, you’re going to wear a cast. (Really, I know they are thinking this - LOOK at the pictures again... THAT DOOR? Was put there by ME. One word: RETALIATION.

Ok, back to the story... The manager then looks at me and asks if I want my gift card back. Um? Didn’t I just use it? So I tell her no and she again, gives me that WTF? look and takes the Gift Card – which she hasn’t removed from the cardboard backing –and hangs it back onto the display for I guess the next person who has to do an exchange/return.

I looked at this "manager" and told her that I realized that SHE didn’t come up with this process, but I think that whom ever did? Should have to come to the store with MY crazy dogs in tow, and have people standing in line behind me with their dogs and screaming kids and then have to go through all this paperwork just to exchange – not receive any money back – an item.

Guess what kind of reaction I got to that....

Maybe I should have taken THESE PHOTOS with me to show her WHY I needed said muzzles... You be the judge:

I wish I had a "before" picture of this nice door -

installed to contain the destructive duo in the basement -

but sadly I don't...

You THINK you can keep me downstairs
when there is a QUEEN SIZED
TEMPURPEDIC BED
upstairs for me to sleep on all day?
PFFFFTTT!

No mom, I'll stay downstairs -

your shoes, purses, pillows,

and trash can?

They'll be left untouched.

I promise!

Day Two: They weren't finished with their 'work.'
Do you understand WHY a muzzle was sooo important to me?

Just to give you a better perspective. Also?
Not sure if you can see it in this pic,
but I actually paid an additional $15 for a piece of
plexiglass to be put on the door so they
wouldn't scratch it and I could keep it
PRETTY
I know.......

Testing... Check! Check! Testing... Is this thing still on??

2011-02-19T17:29:00.000-05:00

Yes and no.

My blog of course is still up and functional... but Shopgirl, while she's still "here" and does come here often to hopefully get her write on? Just.can't. seem to put words to a post. Oh... don't get me wrong... I've got words... Many! Opinions? Holy Opinionation Batman!!

But when I get here? Like right now?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

NOTHING!! ARRRRGGGHHHH!!!

Oh sure, I have topics - I've even written THOSE down - so when I get this mental blank? Voila! Just pick a topic and go! Write my thoughts or my story. Sounds so simple doesn't it? Yeah... Not.so.much.

But... even this simple exercise has sorta got my creative juices somewhat flowing..

If any of my few followers are still coming here. There have been a FEW changes in Shopgirls world - (in fact - all topics that I want to write about!) But just to give you a taste and a reason to make me come back I'll let you in on a few:

Shopgirl has MOVED - LITERALLY! - to a sunny area of the US - for the season anyway... no more white winters for this challenged blogger!

I got a new car! It's so incredible fun... Even HAMSTERS love this car.. and I got a FUN color too!

I'm living with my sister and two nephews - this? Has been quite the challenge, learning experience and just plain ol' life change that I think I was looking for? I haven't lived with anyone since college (and it didn't go well back then) so this is definitely new territory for shopgirl and one would THINK warrant a blog or two or twenty. I've taken notes - so when I to get my "write" on, I'll be sure to share all the crazy with you..

Lots more but I don't want to promise too much and then not deliver - leave me a message - maybe THAT will do it... I do hate to disappoint others..

Chow for now!

Cleaning out your closet CAN be a good thing!

2010-12-30T23:50:00.000-05:00

So.. I finished cleaning and sorting through my closet tonight - tossed out a bunch of clothes - grabbed a pair of jeans that I just haven't wanted to give away even though they haven't fit in YEARS - yes I said YEARS. Reason(s) for keeping them?
1. I believe I paid over $100 for them. (Yes, I realize NOW that $100 for BLUE JEANS is quite ri-god-damn-diculous, but when I bought them I had a really good job/salary. Hindsight 20/20? Maybe spending over $100 on a pair of jeans is the reason I'm flat broke?
Reason number 2 and probably the MOST important reason? My ass looked FABULASS in them! They did - I'm not going to lie - and that is why I could not part with them. I clung to the TINIEST of hopes that I would one day - have the courage and will power to put the pasta fork down and skip the cheesecake desserts and put my SKINNY ASS back into those fabulous jeans. Well, tonight as I cleaned out my closet getting rid of one item that will never fit on my body again after another...I decided it was time to give up the dream. I mean, it's been years - time for them to go. Or was it?

I was just about to toss them in the "goodbye/goodwill" bin and I decided what the hell? I'll try them on just before I say goodbye.

Well, they fit! and they're actually a little big! Turns out.. my Vodka/Gin/Starbucks diet? it's working! All these years... I've been yo-yo dieting and all it took was a little binge drinking and Voila! I've got my favorite jeans back!!

Shopgirl is one happy girl tonight!

Just say no...

2010-12-30T21:01:00.001-05:00

That was my mantra tonight as I walked the aisles of Walmart, Target and even Big Lots - the Christmas Clearance Aisles that is... Like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, I chanted "There's no place for this shit at home!" That's what she said right? Sure.

Anyway, if I was in the land of OZ, I wouldn't need a Clearance sale to get me all jazzed up. Heck, I'd be wearing me a pair of bright and sparkly RUBY RED shoes in the land of GREEN OZ - I'd be all set!

Ahem, back to my real (and not so sparkly) life. I did managed to walk those Big Box Retail aisles and pick up only what I came in for - Dog food and dog chewies. (rawhides). Out of nearly all dog food at home but completely out of chewies and this? does.not.bode.well in shopgirls house - just ask the dogs. I swear - the way my poochers go through rawhides - you'd think they were laced with Cocaine, meth, or X - or maybe all three?

As I sit here now, typing this blog - they are in Canine Heaven with their chewies. THAT right there? is PRICELESS - they are leaving ME alone for five friggin' minutes!!

I tried to give the retail economy a boost tonight, I looked for doggie toys in hopes that they too, would be marked down. At Halloween time they were marked 75% off and this shopgirl went Dog Toy CRAZY!! I can't believe they had THAT many Halloween toys and absolutely NO Christmas toys..
But alas, the original prices of "Christmas" toys was already 3x too high and thus, not marked down enough for this still unemployed shopgirl (recession's over my ass). So I guess the dogs will have to wait until I find another sale..

Even though I did get out of Walmart for under $50, it was HARD... I swear - I think it's easier for me to say no to a Gin and Tonic than it is to say no to a clearance sale...

Just in case you're counting

2010-11-29T16:34:00.001-05:00

Because I am:

Bruce Springsteen - Santa Claus is coming to Town - heard at LEAST 5x today.
The Carpenters - Not sure of the title - but I've heard Karen Carpenter more than I wanted to today.
Frank Sinatra and Cyndi Lauper - thought it was a cute song like 10 years ago - today? I LOATHE 'ol blue eyes and the girl who just wants to have fun.
Frosty the Snowman - you know, the one from the cartoon? Where he wakes up and says "Happy Birthday?" Yeah, it's just as annoying on the radio as it is in the cartoon...
Most Wonderful Time of the Year - REALLY??? yeah.not.so.much....
Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree - ala Macaulay Culkin? - again, was cute song when HE was cute...

15 more minutes to go... I think I can make it.

I'm bringing my iPod to work tomorrow....

Which Ironically, has ALL of these song and THEN some - because yours truly used to LOVE, LOVE, LURVE Christmas music.. But then again - I actually played it in December - closer to the ACTUAL holiday and in small doses at a time...

And so it begins....

2010-11-29T16:28:00.001-05:00

The countdown to ~~Craziness~~ Christmas is upon us and it’s not even December first. When I was laid of from my job almost two years ago, I swore I’d never work for another retail company again. Well, like my mom always said; “it’s not lady-like to swear” and DAMN IT if I didn’t end up in another Retail Corporation to help them with their Seasonal Hiring. It’s not even December and yet they have blasted CHRISTMAS MUZAK all DAMN DAY!

Uggh… by 10am I had already heard Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer five times!! And the Grinch Song? Oh.My.God.I.Want.To.Kill.Myself!!

I’m actually looking forward to being laid off ONCE AGAIN if not only because I may go crazy listening to all this Merriment. Yes, I’m going to be laid off from yet ANOTHER RETAIL COMPANY in less than two years. How do they say it in text and on Facebook? FML? Yes, FUCK MY LIFE… Sorry mom…

Well, I sorta knew I was going to be laid off when I originally took this job. It was discussed with me in the interview that they needed my recruiting services for the season and then they’d see if an open position was available after that. Well, there isn’t. And, I’m sorta ok with that, but I’m not sure if my mortgage company will be as happy. I am still working at the bar – part-time – and now hope they will give me more hours as I’m going to need them.

Oh, and to add to my “holiday merriment” my car decided to “quit me” last week. Something called a head gasket blew – and that, I’m told, is a BAD THING. I did make it to work that day – but had to pay $100 to have it towed to a shop for them to tell me that it’s pretty much not worth fixing. Money well spent indeed. And of course, the only thing I thought of – besides not having a car to drive me to work – was “now I can’t go shopping on Black Friday.” Yes, I know, my priorities are so.in.order. – Shut up, I really wanted that $100 19” flat screen for my bedroom for you know, when I’m laid off in a week and don’t want to get out of bed, at least I’ll have a nice TV upon which to watch all those Lifetime Movies.

My mechanic-brother seems to think we can get my car up and running for a short period of time and close proximity to home so that I can shop for a new(er) car. I’m just glad it happened here and not on my way to Florida. Oh, didn’t I mention THAT? I was actually thinking about heading south for the winter – being jobless and all, I figured I’d try to find a gig down there sans snow and bitter cold weather. Hmmm.. jobless and no money – stay up north and deal with snow and battle depression with nothing but GRAY Skies? Or, head south put my feet in the ocean and soak up the sun and blue skies and serve drinks to all the snow birds who have MONEY to go south every year? Hmmmmm…tough choice, but, this whole car fiasco has thrown a monkey wrench in my southward plans. My sister lives in Naples, Fl so the living expenses would be minimal – but now it’s a matter of getting there. I really want to take my dogs with me too – but if I don’t find a car before I want to leave, I may just fly down there and try to buy one down there. She says there are better deals – older folks who come down for the winter then get rid of their well maintained cars because they no longer need them or can’t drive anymore. But, if I wait to buy a car down there, then I can’t take my dogs with me right away, which, might not be a bad thing – but I would miss them terribly and I need to find someone to take care of them – like they’re accustomed to being taken care of. Yes, they are the two most spoiled dogs and I.like.it.that.way. (mostly).

So… there it is for Shopgirl, this Cyber Monday. I’m going Christmas Crazy with all the holiday muzak and I’m in need of a new car and LIFE.

Dear Santa,
Are you listening?

Since I have more fans on Facebook than here.... I'll post here.

2010-11-17T17:08:00.001-05:00

I can't believe my mouth some days - or in this case, my fingers, via texting. When did I become so mean and cruel to someone I care so much about? God, WTF is wrong with me and why do I act like that? Why do I allow myself to get so upset and then blow like a nasty foul-mouthed volcano? WHOOOSH!!! Hatred - pure hatred and I took the time to actually write (well, text) it all out and then PRESSED SEND! I can't undo it and I think this time may have been the last time, because there have been many, many times before and I have been forgiven (not forgotten, but forgiven - made fun of, but eventually forgiven) I don't know if that will happen this time - and I'm not only sad about it, but I'm confused and hurt and PISSED. At myself.

How can a 10+year friendship come to this? Why can't I just let my best friend live THIER life and I live MINE? Why do I have to "know" everything. You know that old saying: "curiosity killed the cat?" - well, last night I think that this ~~Cunt~~ old cat killed the one relationship that she thought would be in her life forever. All because I can't control my emotions and temper. I'm a mean girl. When did this happen? Or have I been this way my entire life but able to control it better when my life was somewhat "normal?"

I've been using the excuse of losing my job as my reason for becoming bitter and therefore able to lash out at those that I love most. Well sister, it's been almost TWO FUCKING years now, get the fuck over it already... I wish I could - I just don't know how. I'm losing it - literally and figuratively. My finances are a mess - mainly because I don't want to deal with them - I think I have the money there - but then again it's easier for me to play the victim role. WHO THE FUCK HAVE I BECOME??

I practically have no friends - no close friends anyway - I really never did before - I always just had a small "close" circle of friends but over the years, those few, yet valuable, friendships have whittled down to TWO EXTREMELY close relationships - mainly because of life changes, kids, schedules, etc.
I love these two friends so much and they mean so.much. to me, and last night I really didn't play fair and said some pretty awful things to one of them. I cannot even THINK about my life without you in it - I think you may know me better than I know myself - maybe that's why you've forgiven so many times.

I've not only alienated my friends but I feel like I've lost my desire for almost everything in my life. I've lost my desire to blog, obviously since my last blog was back in May and now I'm here - confessing my soul because I know no one comes here anymore. I used to love to blog and couldn't wait to write down the funny things that happened in my life as shopgirl. I used to like to take pictures/photographs and walk my dogs and a lot of other things. Now? I love nothing.

At least I got it out - this blog - because today, all I've wanted to do was make a call - but I know it won't be answered and right now, I don't think I can take that.

Dear friend: If you still come here - I won't say the "s" word -but I regret how things went down. I don't know why I went there last night - I don't know why I need to know your business. I could blame a whole host of things from my parents to my upbringing to my past and now my present. But it doesn't do any good and it can't take away what happened. I'm NOT sorry about some of the things I said - but I "regret" the tone and the place/way they were said.

I'm sad and mad that you're moving (on? perhaps) without me. They say misery loves company, I guess I just don't want to be alone. But that is not YOUR problem - I know this.

I need to move on and find a new ~~obsession~~ hobby.

I won't say "I'm 'S' - all I can say is that I'll try.

Typical conversation between Dave and I

2010-05-20T13:16:00.000-04:00

Dave: So I got a video out from the library on the wives of our US Presidents and the first one I watched was Dolly Madison.

Me: You mean the cupcake?

Dave: Um, the fourth President of the United States - James Madison - his wife?

Me: Oh. Did they name the cupcake after her? I could totally go for a cupcake right now...

Seriously... I don't know how I even passed High School, much less, got into college.....

But doesn't a cupcake sound good right now???

Me and Dave is like Peas and Carrots....

2010-05-19T01:47:00.004-04:00

Last week I went on vacation to visit my sister for her 50th birthday. As mentioned in my previous post, she is my much OLDER sister, double digit older to be exact. Ha! Just teasing with you sis! well, the older part IS true but LUFF U!

Anyhoodle, my flight left on Monday morning at 10:30am, which wouldn’t have been a big deal if I didn’t have to work the previous night at the bar until 2:30 am. At some point Sunday night/Monday early morning I sent a text to Dave, who was dropping me off at the airport in the morning, to pick me up one of those 5-Hour Energy drinks because I was pretty sure I was going to need it.

Monday morning comes and I drag my tired butt outta bed and pack the last of my things and Dave is waiting in my drive at 9:00 am with Energy Drink in hand. We’re not even out of my driveway and I’ve downed the shot to make sure I get my energy on. A little back story here, I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON IN ANY WAY.SHAPE.OR.FORM. Dave? Lately? Is. He also goes to bed before most toddlers even go to bed and I have always been a night owl. Example: It’s 1:45AM as I’m writing this.

Back to my point (I have one I promise). I figured Monday morning he’d be all “are you excited about your vacay?” or “I can’t wait to properly train those things you call your dogs” getting me all worked up because I’d be tired and cranky, but it was the complete opposite. I don’t know if it was the energy drink or not, but by the time we had gotten on the highway (which was about 5 minutes after we left my house) I was moving (and talking) at mach 10 and he looked like he had just come off an all night binge. He told me that he hadn’t slept at all the night before and he? was.not.happy. about that. Meanwhile, I’m like the speed racer of conversation. A lot of run-on sentences and conversations (giving him the entire play by play of the night before at the bar.) and by his complete silence and ignoring of me, I could tell I was a little more annoying than my usual self.

I’m finishing my detailed instructions on how to properly pamper my pooches while I’m gone as he turns into the airport entrance. As he enters the designated "departing flights" area I notice the car in front of us license plate reads: “1892” and because I’m conversing at the speed of light, I say out-loud “In 1892 Columbus sailed the ocean blue” and giggle/smirk at Dave because I’m all 'how smart am I right now on only 3ish hours of sleep?'

As I wait for him to applaud my smartness (more back story here: he’s Nerdy Mc. Reads-a-lot-of history stuff, and I’m more of a weekend Real Housewives marathon kinda girl). Anyway, he just looks at me and says “Tell me you know the correct year (that Columbus sailed the ocean blue).” - I HAVE to say the whole thing - I don't know why....

Crickets. I start to think. “It was 1892 that Columbus sailed the ocean blue (see?) wasn’t it? There’s even that stupid Kellogg’s Frosted Wheat commercial – it WAS 1892 because that little wheat guy said it right? And really? Why would someone have a license plate that said 1892? I hate it when people have license plates that you can't figure out! (I may be a little ADHD) OMG. I really, really don’t know when Columbus sailed the damn ocean blue!!. I need to focus, I have a plane to catch and I have got to KNOW the answer.

Trying to concentrate, I sit there as he pulls up to the curb and gets out. I get my ID and boarding pass together and get out of the truck. At this point he is not only tired, but now annoyed, disgusted and just plain irritated with me. He basically heaves my suitcase onto the curb and gets back in his truck to take off.

I’m still thinking about Columbus as I grab my suit case and start to head into the airport, then I see all these people who are getting dropped off just like me. Some of them are hugging and kissing good-bye. All of a sudden I realize that I’m leaving and won’t see him for like 5 days. I turn and yell for him to stop. I race to the passenger side of his truck and say to him: “Wait!

.
.
.
.

When DID Columbus sail the ocean blue?"

He just looks at me with this face and says: “It was 1492 you fucking dumbass!” and drives off.

Phew! That would have been one.long.plane-ride.

For the love of blogging...

2010-05-17T17:48:00.000-04:00

Why did I LOVE to blog when I had a job with literally no time at all to blog (unless I was avoiding the work I didn't really enjoy?) and now? now that I'm working less hours (sorta) than I was before (earning a.lot.less.money no less) I can't think of a blooming thing to write about? Also? In my free-ish time, I should consider taking a class on becoming a better writer? My English/Writing teachers would be so proud right now. Ehh? Wadda-ya going to do?

Ok - so this blog is going to be a mish-mosh of all kinds of stuff. You know, stuff that's on my mind lately and my IRL friends probably don't want to hear me talk about - but I think it's kind of important stuff. And? Maybe my migraine will go away if I get it all out of my head? Prolly not, but it's worth a shot, so here goes:

1. Just got back from a 5 day vacation to Naples, FL. Helped my sis celebrate her 50th birthday. (I'm her MUCH MUCH younger sister - seriously I am - it's double digit younger!!)

2. Am really thinking about moving to Florida this fall. It's much to hot there now and throughout the summer months. But come September-October? I'm seriously thinking of becoming "snow-bird" and flying south for winter. My sis says that there's a lot of money in Naples and I think I'm going to try to land a job bartending for the winter months. What do I have to lose? I'm not working a corporate job right now. (not going to say "real job" because going to the bar everyday to serve the drunks their liquour? IS real.)

Also? I just don't think I ever want to go back to a corporate job. At least not right now. Seriously, I got an email while on vacay about a temp/contract job doing what I used to do and while it appealed to me (the money) I actually got a stomach ache just thinking about going back to that life? Is that a sign? And if so, what kind of sign? Is it "I don't want to go back?" or "I could go back and have my old life back again?" I don't know, all I know is I got sick to my stomach and the only thing to calm me down? Was a Pina Colada... (Ok, I'm sure Vodka would have helped too, but when in Rome.....)

3. It's been WELL over a year since I was laid off from my job and this past weekend I saw my former VP and several people from work and even though I wanted to run - I actually did ok - (I was actually there volunteering my photography services for Relay for Life thing) but WHY does everyone still ask "how I'm doing" like I got a death sentence when I lost my job? Uggh!!! It's been over a year and a half people - I have moved on. Please do the same.

4. After a year and a half of NOT working at old job? Former VP knew my name. Find it strangely funny that he didn't know it when I worked there. Hmmmm....

5. This should have probably went with number 1 - while on vacation - I was at the beach and about waist deep in the ocean - just walking and doing some serious thinking about moving down there, etc. etc. and all of a sudden the color of the water changed beside me. I took a closer look and it was a school of about 15-20 stingrays!! It was the most amazing thing I have ever encountered - so cool that I just can't properly describe it. How cool to be that close to "wild animals" in their element. It was serene. We walked/swam down the coast for about 10-15 minutes (which seemed like a longer time) about 1-2 feet away from each other. If I hadn't been at the beach by myself that day, I probably would have tried to actually touch them and "swim with them." but I couldn't get Steve Erwin out of my mind so I kept my distance and just walked with them for as long as they allowed.

6. Did my second photo shoot on my own (and even got paid!) and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. So wish I could have the self esteem that I tell everyone else to have!! I'm my own worst critic and I think I need to let up on this old gal soon before she has a friggin melt down!! But I've been this way for way too long and just don't know how to stop or change.

Back to the photos - they were another set of Senior pics and they were done outside and I think that they turned out AWESOME if I do say so myself - yes, I said AWESOME...

I have a website -but it needs work - I need to call my nephew - he's so much better at this web stuff - I need him to help me with it.

Ok - well, that's all I have for now - plus? I've been at Panera now for almost 3 hours and this is all I've been able to crank out for a blog - so I need to go!

Shopgirl out!

Red Box Renters? or Rude Box Renters.... you tell me....

2010-03-20T01:34:00.003-04:00

So tonight - I was in what is frighteningly becoming my usual PISSED OFF and altogether not-happy mood. I decided, that my sad self would just stay in (even though it IS a Friday night) with a few movies. Because of said mood, I opted to avoid the generally crowded movie store and decided to think er, rent, out of the box. RED-BOX that is.

Now, when these RED-BOXES started appearing in my area some time ago (or when I finally realized what the hell that big red box WAS outside of my grocery store) I thought that they were the coolest things. EVAH. I mean, these things were GENIOUS! Because now? I don't have advertise that I'm alone while I browse the movie selection at my local Blockbuster on a Friday or Saturday night (or any other night of the week, thank you very much.) And? At a buck a movie? I can rent several movies, and if they're lame? So what? It's only a buck.

That was then, this is now. And now? We can successfully put yet one more thing in the "Things that PISS OFF Shopgirl on a regular basis" column tonight. Why do you ask? At this point, MOST of my friends probably wouldn't EVEN ask the WHY part, seeing as so.many.things.seem to rattle my cage these days.

It all comes down to etiquette. Yes, I think that there needs to be some sort of RED-BOX ETIQUETTE created since we have become a nation (world even) of rude and obnoxious and basically 'I only care about me' people/renters. Seriously? One Nation Under God? More like: My Nation... now go fuck yourself.

Anyhoodle.. after almost losing my mind tonight waiting for the incompetent CRACKHEADS that are, at this very moment, probably either A: creating a meth-lab in my very neighborhood that will likely explode and ultimately leave me and those within a 3 block radius homeless, or B: creating their legacy that will ultimately bring the world to an end. I came up with these quick and simple rules for renting out of RED-BOX:

1. If you don't even know how to turn on your computer at home, use an ATM machine or even know how to swipe your credit card at the grocery store without some sort of assistance? RED-BOX is.not.for.you.

2. Please have some sort of an idea of the movie you want to rent BEFORE you get to the box. I beg of you, if you want to read about each.and.every movie - Go online to http://www.redbox.com/Titles/AvailableTitles.aspx where you can search, read and review all the movie titles in the comfort of your home without holding ~~Shopgirl~~ anyone up in line. RESERVATIONS can even be made on-line so that you can - like the RED-BOX website states: FIND YOUR MOVIE, SWIPE YOUR CARD, GRAB IT and GO.

Go for.the.love.of GOD! just GO! Now, if there is no line - then, by all means, take all the time in your little world. I don't care - because I'm not there.... WAITING.

3. If you choose to ignore step two? Don't be upset or give me the one-eye, when I start to sigh, jingle my car keys, cough, tap dance, jump up and down, make strange faces, twitch, have a full-on anxiety attack (I think you get the picture) after we've reached the 15 minute mark. You're just selecting a movie, not your soul mate - you can return this movie if it sucks and it will only cost you a buck. Move along please. (Sarcasm AND poetry - yes, I have many talents)

4. Observe that there may be a person or 20 waiting to use the box. Please, even though YOU may have nothing else to do, ~~Shopgirl~~ we might. Review steps 1-3 again. Your transaction, much like one at an ATM, shouldn't take more than 5-10 minutes. (Don't even get me started on those idiots that choose to balance their checkbooks at the ATM.)

5. Now, number 5 may be take a lot of people out of their comfort zone - but check this out: of those 1-20 people waiting in line? Some of them, may actually only want to RETURN a movie - which (if competent) should only take like a minute, AND they may actually be returning a movie that YOU want. It would be in your best interest to let these folks go ahead of you. But, in the non-verbal, text-only, chat-room world that we now reside, you may actually have to SPEAK to these people. It's an outdated/old-fashioned concept, I know - actually "talking" to someone but I promise, it's like riding a bicycle, the process will come back you.

Got any other suggestions? Leave 'em in my comments section - let's pass it along to Redbox and see if they post it on their machines!!

Now excuse me, while I go make some popcorn....

Just a few things I learned today.

2010-03-15T17:57:00.002-04:00

1st thing I learned today: When heading "out" with laptop (Borrowed from the infamous Katie Couric of Akron - seriously? U.Rock.the.CASBAH!) so you can write your blog in a place where you are SURE you will find inspiration? First, find out if the Wi-Fi is FREE (since you're still UNEMPLOYED) Yeah, Starbucks and your $5 Frappa-FUCKING-chino? (that yes, I KNOW I don't need, much less should be splurging on, but if I'm going to use their Wi-fi, I thought, maybe I should buy something from their store? Well, for a 2 hour "pass" to use their Wi-fi is $3.99 plus tax or whatever, I didn't even bother to read all the "other crap" I just took my now purchased Frappachino and left. Starbucks - you suck and I won't be back....)

Next off to Panera, where the Wi-fi is free -but yet, I simply CANNOT go in there with my SB cup - right? Well, I could, but really? Do I want to be that girl? No.I.Do.Not. So, now I'm hopped up on a few quick sips of my Frappachino and I must now buy a Shortbread cookie -because, well have you HAD a Panera Shortbread cookie? You must - one word - YUM! (and the cheapest thing on the menu.) So now my "free" wi-fi experience has cost me a Frappachino AND a cookie (well, and if I'm being honest here) a cup (not a bowl) of soup.

2nd. thing I learned today: DON'T try to find your "writing inspiration place" somewhere where they sell food - you fattie!!! YOU. WILL. WANT. TO. EAT.... AND EAT..... AND EAT SOME MORE. (Even though you had lunch with mom and dad four hours ago (well, four hours IS a long time -BUT, the cookie/frappa debacle should have sufficed until you got home.

3rd thing I learned today: I HAVE ADHD. I cannot concentrate on my own thing without listening to every.other.thing.going.on.around.me. GAWD - those people that hear "voices" - I feel for you.

4th thing I learned today: Bring headphones next time. Everyone else with a laptop here? also wearing earphones - I OBVIOUSLY didn't get the memo and am so.behind. the.times. when it comes to Wi-fiing out in the open public.

5th thing I learned today: Be a little less OBVIOUS when eavesdropping on public in very.public.place.
I soooooo got busted listening to and staring at random girl telling boyfriend she couldn't believe she got a DUI last week.(just to be clear, I was listening to stupid girl and staring at her HAWT boyfriend - not good anyway you look at it, I know, but I just wanted to clarify.)

6th thing I learned today: People will talk about ANYTHING in public place. Seriously? Reality TV so does not compare to what you can overhear in a Panera.... I am now considering canceling my cable service (since I'm still unemployed) and hanging out here for my entertainment.

7th and last thing I learned (well at least while at Panera) today: I really, really need to get my camera back out - there are some pretty cool pictures here and they are of BAGELS. Seriously? Panera Bread PAID for this "artwork." The unemployed Shopgirl with her ~~$500~~ very nice DSLR camera at home? Could take better pictures.

Ok - I'm outta here - it's finally warm(er) in Ohio and I'm going to take poochers for walk!

Ciao Babies!!

Hey Jealousy....

2010-02-12T00:12:00.000-05:00

Why are we jealous? Is it an in bread character trait or do we develop and hone this “quality?” I always thought it was just me and my own personal failure to keep my feelings under control. I have always been envious (read jealous) of those individuals that never seem to let their insecurities get the best of them and ultimately get jealous over someone else. It doesn’t matter what it is, I am and always have been jealous of everyone.else.around.me. The proverbial grass is always greener on the other side of my life.

Lately, my jealousy is getting worse. Combined with the depression that I seem to be drowning in, I don’t even think a full on cruise ship, much less a life boat, could pull me out of my utter jealous depressed funk. Hi. My name is Shopgirl, and I am a jealous-aholic. Currently, I am jealous of the bartender that I work with. She is younger than me – by like 16+ years. (How is she even OLD enough to serve drinks? Oh yeah, that’s right, because I’m a god-damn fossil, that’s how.) I’m jealous that she’s skinny - and yes, she IS skinny even though ~~Dave~~ you say she’s not. She is skinnier than me and that’s what makes me insane. Hell, YOU are skinnier than me! Do you know how INSANE that makes me? Yes, I believe you do.

Even as I write this, I look over it and can see how dumb (for lack of a better word) that I’m being. So what, that this girl is skinnier than me? I could do something about it. Like for instance, I could put the pasta fork down and step away from the garlic bread. But we all know that I won’t do that. But, what is the worst part of all of this is that I’m jealous of her because of something so superficial. She is biggest dumb-ass that I have ever met. She can’t add or subtract (shut up, I can count change back – most of the time.) She dropped out of some sort of makeup/facial College. Really? You can’t even complete a cosmetic course? (I’m not saying beauty school is not hard – read on –you’ll see that I’m not the brightest when it comes to school)

So, when I’m feeling down, why can’t I pump myself up? I have two college degrees, granted, I could be a doctor based on how long it took me to get those two degrees, but none the less, I have them. I have owned my own house for over 10 years, and even right now, being unemployed I’m able to pay all of my bills.

Yet, when I’m feeling down or that jealous feeling spreads throughout my body, all I can concentrate on is that she’s younger and skinnier than me. It doesn’t help when my friend calls me right before I go in for my shift to tell me how much money she’s made in tips, or how everyone is so anxious to help her. When I’m there? Yeah, I’m pretty much left to my own devices. No help for the old fat broad, but the young, ditzy skinny bitch? Gets.all.the.attention. Bitter? YES I AM.

Again, I could look at it from a different angle, like, I’m left alone because I know what the FUCK I’m doing and I can count money and my drawer is never (well up until lately) off. (yes, I had a bad day with the cash drawer – off by $20 – it was a busy day and I’m sure I just counted change back incorrectly, but here we go – I have ONE MORE thing to beat myself up for.)

But, do I look at all the good that is going on in my life? No. I, Shopgirl, could never think like that. Instead, I choose to wallow in my own depression/jealous/bitter filled cesspool of emotion. Why? Why do I do that? And, more importantly, if I was being told this story by any of my girlfriends I would LITERALLY kick their asses (or the stupid bitch of a bartender that’s making her so sad) and tell her that she not only rocks but she’s the best thing in the world and that skanky bitch has nothing on her. (and for a small price, could be made to disappear. – I’m just saying.) But, I can’t do it for myself. WHY??

For those of you that still come to see what Shopgirl is up to, leave your thoughts on jealousy and share with me if you’ve ever been in this kind of situation. What have you done? I’m not fishing for compliments here (although – YOU could quit pushing my buttons every.chance.you.get.) just leave your thoughts….

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to buy a “boob” shirt. If I can’t beat (maime) her, then I’m going to pullout the “girls” and work what my momma gave me….. I need the tip money!!

Ta-ta!!

Merry Christmas to all from Shopgirl, Daisy Dog and Sassy Girl....

2009-12-25T01:52:00.001-05:00

To all (one) of my blog readers - well, those who comment anyway, I want to wish you a Merry Christmas and share with you my Christmas Card (you know, since I don't have your address and all...)

Don't they just look sooooooooooo happy to have their "elf ears" on? What-ev, they got an entire bag of Chips Ahoy for this picture - they are Spoiled Elves!!

Got what I wished for... sort of...

2009-12-10T00:23:00.003-05:00

Well, I finally got one. I got me a laptop. Well, it's a loner right now - and it's not the shiny pretty pink one that I wanted, and it's a bit old, and well, it doesn't have a wireless card so I can't really use it anywhere other than my office or my bedroom unless I don't want to hook up to the internet. But, I finally got one. I'm thinking of purchasing it (old and NOT PINK and all) from a friend of mine. He's letting me give it a try. It's a little slow -but I think if I take it to my "computer geek guy" and get him to tune it up (and put a wireless card in it) then it will be fine. And really, right now I'm so busy working at the bar and photography studio that I have no time to go to Starbucks or Borders or Panera and look all "I'm so cool I'm sitting here drinking my latte' while surfing the web." So really, the fact that I can only use this thing in two room of my house right now and the bedroom on my comfy bed being one of them? Is perfectly fine with me. And well, look - it finally got me to blog again.

See David? I TOLD YOU I NEEDED A LAPTOP!!! :~)

So not much is new in my life other than I'm working a lot at the bar and photography studio. I've decided that while I still enjoy photography and I'm learning a lot, I'm even more assured that I made the right choice to NOT HAVE CHILDREN. Great photographers (like the one that I'm becoming) get those great looking shots of kids smiling and having so much fun that it makes most everyone want to have children. Those photographers? Don't have said children.

After 6-8 house of photographing SCREAMING, NON-COOPERATIVE, SICK AND JUST DOWN-RIGHT ROTTEN CHILDREN? (and don't forget the creepy husband/dads that are hitting on me and my co-workers while their wives are doing all the work with THEIR offspring - ugggh) I am so.convinced. that I made the right decision to never-evah-have children. (and I'm REALLY beginning to hate married men too) Oy - are kids a lot of work! And all I can think about when I'm driving home is that I'm so thankful that it's still legal to keep dogs locked in a kennel or outside while mommy relaxes with a ~~fifth of vodka~~ after work cocktail.

Working at the bar has been quite entertaining as well. So far, in the month that I've been there I've met all.sorts.of.folks.

Today? I was hit on by a guy who just got his Jeep working - and he was just soooooo happy about that. It hasn't run/ran in 3-4 whole months. I know, right? 3-4 months and it wasn't running and? he was a mechanic too - OBVIOUSLY not a good one or so I thought. The Jeep you see sat idle for 1 month, but he was on HOUSE ARREST for 3 months - so you see? It all worked out - he didn't really NEED the jeep all this time.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking - "Oh Shopgirl, look how you have turned your life around. Why, just one year ago, you were working for the largest retail corporation in the world and now? You're serving beer and shots to Mr. House Arrest." I know, I too, have to pinch myself each morning just to make sure it's real.

Other things going on in my life right now, we are in the middle of a Blizzard/Windstorm here in Shopgirls hometown. It's a balmy 46 degrees here with 33 MPH Winds. And in true Shopgirl - I - can't -wait -to-see-what-happens-to-me-next fashion, I'm sure that I will wake up tomorrow with absolutely no more siding on my house. I'm also lying in bed with a sweatshirt hoodie on with the hood up because my OLD house is SO OLD that the wind is blowing through. I feel a little like Dorothy and and scared that I'm going to wake up in Oz tomorrow. Which actually? Wouldn't be so bad since I'd loves me some red sparkly shoes right about now.

One more thing to ramble on about before I check out of here and hit the sack - Just watched "Four Christmases" tonight with the dreamy and hilarious Vince Vaughn and Cutie Pe-tutie Reese Witherspoon and let me sum it up for you: Laughed so hard I nearly peed - funniest movie hands down. This is a must see -if you haven't been a lame girl like me and saw it when it originally came out.

Well, I have to go get my mittens and scarf and about 4 more blankets and head to bed in my igloo of a home. I just hope it doesn't get blown away tonight.

Nitey Night....

I had to post something... so here's a little Sassy for you...

2009-12-04T23:31:00.001-05:00

This is Sassafrass, or Sassy as I like to call her. At just 11 months, she looks cute and innocent enough eh?

Yet, this sums up what my shoes, books, rugs, shoes, shoes and more shoes have endured over the past 10 months...

Why you look mad?

Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!!

2009-11-03T10:10:00.000-05:00

Yee haw! I got the job, or I won the audition. Ok, now you KNOW the economy is bad when I'm excited about a PT job slinging brewskies and spirits at a local watering hole. But, right now? I'll take what I can get LITERALLY. I mean, the job market is horrible here and there was an article in our local paper that yet another company will probably be laying off 300 people in the next month if they don't extend some contract or get another client or something. Either way? That's 300 MORE people that I have to compete against for any job out there. Also? The more people there are out of work? The more power the employers get - and can hire for much, much less than they would have a year ago. And while I'd work for less, I don't see my mortgage payment going down or my gas/electric/water bills shrinking either.

But, today I'm not going to dwell on the negative. I got a job! So yea for me and yea for my pocket book!!
And? This is what, my 3rd post in less than 2 weeks? WAY TO GO SHOPGIRL!! :~)

But, it's going to be short one again - because I have to get ready for work - I actually start today!!

C-ya later and.....
don't forget to tip your bartenders!!

Exercise Two: Try to write SOMETHING... anything...

2009-11-02T12:33:00.000-05:00

Something.....

Anything....

OK, I did it - now can I go back to bed? I'm kidding (sort of) - I'm out of bed, and will stay out of bed until it's reasonably acceptable to go back to bed. My PJ's? Yes, I'm still in them (I know it's12:30pm) but I don't care. Actually, I'm getting out of these pretty soon too - I have an "audition" today at 2pm - so I need to go make myself all purdy-like.

My "audition?" is not for anything remotely exciting (for anyone who's reading this) it's more of a "working interview" at a bar in my neighborhood that has an opening for a bar-~~bitch~~ tender. So, I have to get myself moving so I can do down and serve the locals their brewskies and 7 & 7's for a couple of hours. I better get paid for this audition (at least the tip money..)

My friend was at the bar last night while another contender was there, and apparently she had no skillz - which of course made me very happy. He also sounded a little drunk (you did) but I'll take whatever positive feedback I can get these days.

Well, as Bugs Bunny used to say... "That's all Folks!" - I'm going to say that too - since I need to get ready for this audition/interview. Wish me luck - and hopefully everyone will just order beer or really easy drinks like Rum and Coke.

So much to say.... so why can't I blog all about it??

2009-10-28T19:24:00.000-04:00

Have you ever been in a place in your life where you've just lost interest in everything that you once loved to do? Or, in my case - have you ever gotten so excited about something, hobby, past-time, or even person and have gone full-force, full throttle with all the passion in your being, only to find yourself later not even remotely interested in said activity?

Well, I've felt that way my whole life. I'm very much an "in the moment" kinda girl. I like NEW things - to try NEW stuff. I get super excited about something (photography, scrap-booking, traveling, writing or blogging) and then BLAH... I hit a wall and I lose all interest.. My $500 camera (and all the "extras" that I had to have that would make me a better photographer) and my THOUSANDS of dollars worth of scrap-booking ~~shit~~ products, and now, by blog sit idle wondering where I've gone and if I'll ever come back.

The sad thing is.. is that I want to, but yet here I sit and try to write a blog and while it is somewhat theraputic about putting my feelings down on paper (or into the blogoshpere) it is so. incredibly. hard. to keep typing.
I have soooo much I want to write about yet my mind feels like a pinball machine and my focus is as chaotic as that ball bouncing from side to side and back and forth until eventually it goes down the drain.

So today's post (while incredibly short) was an exercise to get me back in the game. According to the "experts" out there, it's all about baby steps and goal setting. So, today's goal was to write something, anything... and I did that. It's not my best work and it's not as long as my previous (and more enjoyable) posts have been, but I did it. And I didn't even need a brand new shiny lap-top to do it.

You see, I think and I keep telling my friend Dave (and myself) that if 'I only had a LAP TOP' then, THEN I'd be able to write again - you know, because now that I'm unemployed and have ALL THIS TIME on my hands - I could go to cool places like Starbucks, Panera Bread, Borders - where the Wi-fi is FREE - because I'm on a BUDGET and I could become the "serious" writer that I want to be (and once was.) Because? No.One. writes at home! NO! It's all about the mobility... right? Yeah, that's it....

THAT and going out and buying something NEW. Hmmmm.... seems to be a pattern here....

Manic Monday

2009-10-19T22:42:00.000-04:00

Patsy Cline sang it (and Willie Nelson wrote it) best:

Crazy
Crazy for feeling so lonely
Im crazy
Crazy for feeling so blue

I knew
Youd love me as long as you wanted
And then someday
Youd leave me for somebody new

Worry
Why do I let myself worry
Wondrin
What in the world did I do

Crazy
For thinking that my love could hold you
Im crazy for tryin
Crazy for cryin
And Im crazy
For lovin you

Keeping it legal y'all:

Written by willie nelson
(as performed by willie nelson)
Also performed by patsy cline and ray price

Update... and I'm out of my PJ's....

2009-09-17T14:56:00.000-04:00

My TO DO List:

~~1. Clean Room - almost done.~~
~~2. Clean Bathroom - worst job in the house.....~~
3. Organize/Clean my home office - aka - catch all - I don't know where to put it so it will just go into my "office" room. So. not. looking.forward. to. this. item.
4. Clean livinging room.
~~5. Laundry - DONE! (believe it or not, I LIKE to do laundry... I know, I'm weird.) - found more - but it's DONE now too!~~
6. Kitchen - done last night - also like to clean the kitchen - don't like to cook -but like to clean...
7. Pick up dog doodies in the yard - ok - this is the WORST JOB IN THE HOUSE. - going to have a beer first (if there's any left... if not? VODKA it is...
8. Throw up from performing task number 7 - if Vodka is involved? Tossing my cookies is a certainty....
9. Mow the lawn.
~~10. Drink Vodka... lots of Vodka. (I could mix item number 10 in between several of the earlier tasks.)~~ Check, Check and Check!!

I just love crossing things off the "to do" list!!

So much to do... so much to do... why am I so lazy?

2009-09-17T13:55:00.000-04:00

So, I've been off work for about 8 months (or so) now and as I look back at those months? It seems like I've accomplished nothing. NOTHING!! It's sad - all the time in the world and nothing has gotten done - lots of things/projects were started, but nothing has been completed. My TO DO list is long yet my tenacity is short (lived). Why is it that sleeping until God-knows-when feels so much better than getting up and accomplishing anything? Why do I love my jammies so much (and it's not like I have cute PJ's or even LOOK cute in them)? Why am I addicted to ~~crack~~ Facebook? I swear, it's my only (somewhat) real connection to the outside world right now. I hated my office job so much and WISHED to be able to be home all day - now? I've gotten what I've wished for and I love/hate it. I love being home but I hate not being able to talk ~~with, er, about~~ to anyone.

So, as I sit here today, in front of my computer (still in my PJ's) and try to compose anything that resembles a blog, my house continues to remain a pig (well, in my case dog) sty. Ok, so when it was just me and Miss Daisy Dog, I thought I had the dog hair under control. It wasn't that bad and when I was working? Saturday mornings were my "cleaning" days and I could zip rather quickly through my house and remove the dog hair with little to no effort. Now? Two dogs? And Sassy's hair is BLACK - and the dog hair has not doubled but QUADROUPLED. Uggggh and the dust? For the love of DOG BONES the dust is outrageous!! No wonder I'm sneezing like a maniac.

Would it be all that in humane to shave Sassy - hmmmm.. a hairless dog... sounds lovely.. Fugly, but lovely.

OK - back to reality, that dog hair isn't going to pick itself up out of the pile on the floor (which I swept it into) and put itself into the trash. It will, I'd guess, double or even triple in size by the time I get back to it though. So, off I go.. to finish cleaning my bedroom - then, maybe if I'm not too tired I'll attempt the rest of the house.....

My TO DO List:

1. Clean Room - almost done.
2. Clean Bathroom - worst job in the house.....
3. Organize/Clean my home office - aka - catch all - I don't know where to put it so it will just go into my "office" room. So. not. looking.forward. to. this. item.
4. Clean livinging room.
5. Laundry - DONE! (believe it or not, I LIKE to do laundry... I know, I'm weird.)
6. Kitchen - done last night - also like to clean the kitchen - don't like to cook -but like to clean...
7. Pick up dog doodies in the yard - ok - this is the WORST JOB IN THE HOUSE.
8. Throw up from performing task number 7
9. Mow the lawn.
10. Drink Vodka... lots of Vodka. (I could mix item number 10 in between several of the earlier tasks.)

So, I'm off internet peeps - no more Facebooking, time to get cracking... My goal is to be out of my PJ's by 3pm......

Concentration - easier said than done..

2009-08-27T13:43:00.004-04:00

So, I've gotten myself a little writing assignment that could actually get published! One would think I'd be soooo excited (and I am) and that I would have started writing immediately and I'd be proofing at this very moment because I wrote 1000+ words instead of the 400-800 guideline. Well, you'd be wrong, unless of course you know me and that I procrastinate in every.aspect.of.my.life. Seriously, I'm not worried about dying because knowing me? I'll be late or have something planned for that fateful day and will have to postpone.

Of course, I should be writing my article instead of writing on my blog - but I can't seem to come up with anything for said article and well, it's been entirely too long since I've posted anything here. I figured I'd come over here, clear a few cob webs and dust bunnies and see if will help me get my "creative juices" flowing for this article that they want back by the end of this week (which is TOMORROW.) Yeah, no pressure.

Actually, I work better under pressure. I once wrote a paper in one night for a class in college that we were supposed to be working on the entire semester. Well, I have a hard time sticking with ANYTHING for more than about a nanosecond, so writing every day (hmmm... maybe I'd be a better blogger) just didn't work for me. So, the night before said paper was due - I wrote my little arse off. Actually, I went shopping for my upcoming trip to the Bahamas and then packed and then called some friends and then, then I wrote my paper. Shut up! I finished it and even got an "A" on it! So, I'm sure I can complete this article.. later... ha!

I am actually TRYING to complete it now -because even though they want it tomorrow and I'd probably have some time during the morning to finish it - I have a feeling that tomorrow - being Friday and all will end up being non-productive as most Fridays usually are (even for the unemployed.)

But, today of all days, my city decided that it would be a good time to rip up the road in front of my house and re-asphalt it. (no they're not completely re-paving it - THAT would make too much sense.) They are just ripping up a small portion (conveniently in front of my house) and throwing down some asphalt. Great - because the patch job complete with the crater like dip and all they did back in January was such a work of art - that I'm sure the work they're doing today with be a huge improvement. Seriously, who doesn't like it when they're house shakes every time a car/truck or squirrel drives over this portion of the road.

So here I am, stuck inside my house on my desktop computer, trying to concentrate and write this article and 5+ large trucks and 10+ men (not even cute) are outside making all kinds of noise. Perfect conditions for writing don't cha think? Did I mention that my house trembles Every.Time.They. Move. The. Back Hoe? No? Well, it does!! Not only am I not able to concentrate and write my article (yet able to blog about my lack of concentration) I now know what it's like to be a California resident during an earthquake measuring 4.9-5.2 on the Richter scale. I'm also not worried in the slightest, that my nearly 100 year old house's foundation, may crumble beneath me today. (hopefully the cadaver dogs will track not only mine but my dogs scent.)

Well, after sitting here in front of my computer for more than 3 hours not writing my article I'm going to attempt to get back at it. Actually I haven't been here the entire time. I told you I'm a procrastinator right?

Here's a re-cap of the past 3+ hours:
1. Made lunch - have all the workings of a Subway restaurant - made myself a "tasty" Turkey/salami/Am. Cheese with lettuce, mayo, mustard, salt/pepper, pickles mini sub sammy. And chips on the side.
2. Let the dogs out for the fiftieth time.
3. Let said dogs back in.
4. Showered and got out of jammies.
5. Did load of laundry - which I just remembered I have to run back down and put in dryer.
6. Went outside to "inspect" all this noise.
7. Talked with neighbors who's TV is obviously on the fritz as they are sitting outside just watching all the road work. Mine truly is, "the most entertaining city" in which to live.... E! will probably be here shortly.
8. Back on computer - but checked out ~~crack~~Facebook - my friend is craving chocolate.
9. Now? So am I.
10. Can't think about anything but chocolate.
11. Back downstairs (away from computer and even further from completing article) to get "chocolate."
12. Back upstairs - only chocolate in house - Reese's Klondike bar. What would I do for a Klondike bar? Apparently, not write my assigned article.
13. Share last bites of delici-o-so Klondike bar with dogs.
14. Actually take time to look up how to spell new word: delici-o-so
15. Klondike bars? Messy - must wash hands.
16. Back at computer - ready to finish up this blog and hopefully my article.

Hmmm... and it seems like I do NOTHING all day...

911 what's your emergency? Can you hold?

2009-07-21T00:01:00.006-04:00

Ok - so I didn't want to ruin my 2 week run post with this bit of news, but I have to get it out.

So, right as I'm heading out for my run tonight (which now, I've just become to lazy to get in my car and drive to the park - so I'm actually running in my neighborhood, at night so NOBODY sees how bad I look while running.) Well, as I'm on my way out the door, I'm talking to Dave who is reading today's news online and he tells me about this "gang thing" that happened TOO close to my hood.

Ok, so I'm sooooooooo not up-to-date on anything newsworthy (except MJ - and all the "behind the music" and True Hollywood Stories of the man) to actually know what Dave's talking about. He gives me the quick low down (and scolds me for not actually knowing about it because apparently it made the BIG news - like National news) and get this, back on the 4th of July - I guess a "gang" of like 40 -50 kids started a fight the night of the fireworks near my neighborhood. This "gang" severely beat a guy and his brother that put him in the hospital with like $17,000 worth of medical bills. NICE. And I'm running in this neighborhood.

Now, I realize that this was an isolated incident (at least I'm HOPING that's all) and that there are bad things that happen all over the place. But this is REALLY too close to home. And of course, our LOVELY police department? Yeah, Keystone Cops at best. They have arrested NO ONE. Again, NICE City I thought I lived in.

Oh, and when the victims brother called 911 for help? Get this: He. Was. Put. On. HOLD. Yup - a 911 call about 40 GANG BANGERS beating two people to near death? HOLD PLEASE. Your call will be answered in the order it was received.

Fabulous.

According to the newspaper, the FBI has been called in. We'll see what transpires. You know who we need? Horatio Caine. and ooo la la, the boys from CSI Miami. They'd have this cleared up and all the gang bangers in custody in like, 45 minutes (or may, 90 minutes - you know, if they like had to involve CSI NY). Either way, I think they'd have a better chance of catching the 'bangers' than our ~~loser~~local PD.

Now that I think about it... I'm going to keep running. Especially since I can't move right now (thanks economy). I'm going to need to be quick on my feet.

Week Two....

2009-07-20T22:34:00.003-04:00

I did it! Week One of running is down and I'm on to week 2.

Ok - so I clarified it for Dave that I'm not actually RUNNING THE ENTIRE 20 MINUTES, but I am running. (90 seconds of running/120 seconds of fast walking - alternating for 20 minutes) Again - if you want to see the program - it's called The Couch to 5K.

There are 9 (yes 9) weeks to this program and I'm down 1 - got 8 more to go (for those of you that are too pretty -like me - to do math.) And by "those of you" I mean Dave and if anyone else is still here reading.

Anyhoodle... I honestly thought I was going to die tonight - a friend of mine is a couple weeks ahead of me and tells me that it does in fact get easier... but I'm not sure I'm buying it. Especially since week 3? Yeah, I'm supposed to run for 3 whole minutes at a time! Oh. My. God! I don't know if this running thing is for me or not. I'm going to give it another week and then, we'll see about week three.

Oh and another thing... you know how "they" say that exercising releases all these endorphins and such and you're supposed to feel great after the exercising is done? Yeah, NO. It's soooo. not. happening. that way. for me. The ONLY thing I'm loving after all the running is over? Is the fact that it's O V E R. Yeah, maybe I feel a little sense of accomplishment when I get home. Of course, this all comes AFTER the hyperventilating and catching of my breath. And of course when I return to a LESS BRIGHT shade of RED. Oh, and the sweating? Dear God and Baby Jesus it's not even hot here and I SWEAR I've lost about 30 pounds in sweat! How do people do this day after day and during the summer??

Well, that's all for now. I'm going to crawl to my bed where I'm sure I'll crash and burn once my head hits the pillow.

See ya in a couple of days!

Extra Extra - FREE all about it!!

2009-07-16T23:08:00.003-04:00

There's a giveaway going on right now peeps!! You have to go over to: Clevergirl's blog and check out this awesome giveaway from Jupiter Freedom.

And - how mad that I didn't come up with this idea in the first ding dong place - not the giveaway - I'm not THAT nice. I mean the purse thingy - ummmm? hello genius idea!! Ugghh I hate when someone comes up with a great idea before me!!

Oh well - check it out - maybe you'll win!

OMG!! OMG!! HE'S COMING. HERE. NEXT WEEK!!

2009-07-16T16:16:00.003-04:00

Ok - remember my story about the Best Man from my Best Friends Wedding? No? Well, let me refresh your memory. Go ahead, read on.... I'll wait.

So, guess what? He's going to be here. In my hometown. Next week. And we're having dinner!!

Ok - so I don't know if it was at HIS request, but he's coming to visit my best friend and her husband and WE ARE ALL having dinner. OMG!!! Is it possible to lose 50 pounds in 5-6 days? (ok, without removing an appendage?)

Seriously - I'm sick to my stomach right now - I'm sooooooooooooooooo nervous and excited at the same time. Which stands to reason that I will inevitably FUCK IT ALL UP.

I wish I was in a better place right now - emotionally. I'm still unemployed and down in the dumps about it. But, I'm getting better about hiding that (ok, I'm not. I just wanted to see what it looked like in type)

Also - he's not working right now either - same deal happened to him - losing his job, blah blah, fuckin' economy, blah blah. Now this, right here, would usually be a red flag to just ignore and move on from a guy. You don't have a job? Or can't afford to keep up with me? Next. But, well, nowadays? There's not much to keep up with. Gawd, even a plasma donor has more money than me right now.

I don't know all the 'tails of his upcoming trip and I'm really not getting THAT excited about it because the last time he was supposed to come to "these parts" it didn't happen. But, a girl can hope right? Sheesh.. I need SOMETHING to look forward to.

Stay tuned and I'll let you know how it goes..

Ok - so it's been three days instead of two

2009-07-13T18:36:00.003-04:00

But, I ran. Again! And this time - well, it was still hard and my head pounded like a Metallica (sp) concert, but I didn't die and it took me about the same time as last time. That stopwatch function on the iPod is too cool. It's counts your laps and it even recorded my last run. (EVERYONE but ME probably already knows this.) Which by the way was almost the EXACT SAME TIME as I ran today! Hmmm.. 10:30 must be when my body is "OK with running."

So, YESTERDAY was supposed to be the day that I ran -but I had to work ON MY FEET all day yesterday and when I got home - I was just too pooped to run. Add to that, on Saturday night my neighbors had their annual pool party and I was drinking Long Islands like it was my job or something - well, running would have done NO BODY any good yesterday. It was a Big Mac, Large Fries and Ice Tea kinda day. Needed. Grease. To. Soak. Up. Alcohol. (and to keep me from hurling all damn day.) Ugggh... why does alcohol taste sooooooooooooooo good going down and why can't I stop at my 3rd or 4th drink instead of my 13th or 14th?

But back to the run. It's still not fun and I'm sure I still look like an escaped mental patient - what with trying to catch my breath on my 90 seconds of fast walking in between the 60 seconds of running. I didn't sweat as much today - but it was cooler today than it was last week - I think anyway. There was, this really cute guy there - but I'm sure he took one look at me and prayed to himself - "please don't let the fat girl pass out in front of me." I know, I need to stop making fun of myself. But, the old Shopgirl would have seen this guy a mile away and either turned around and ran back to my car to leave the park or just hid until he passed - but still left. This time - I just kept my (slow) pace and thought to myself - keep it up sister - in 9 weeks (the length of this program) you'll (hopefully) be a different girl and who knows? Maybe I'll be keeping pace (or passing) him!

Running Progress chart:
Shopgirl's 1st ever run - July 10th, 2009
2nd run - July 13th, 2009
3rd run - planned for July 15th, 2010 (ha ha! I mean 2009!)

See you in two days!!

Oy Vey - what a weekend.... NEVER been so glad to see Monday get here!

2009-07-13T13:02:00.005-04:00

So, after my slow start out on Saturday (see this post if you really have NOTHING BETTER to do) I finally got my butt out of the house to run some errands and try to hit a few garage sales (the ones that didn't close because of the rain.)

I was actually in a pretty good mood, starting out... The sun did come out and it looked like it could be a nice day. So I hopped in my car and headed out. I first had to go to the dog pound - and this is where it all went downhill.

You see, Friday night my nephew's dog (which he acquired through a "friend" - at least that's the story we got) went missing. And said dog had been living with my nephew in my parents house (long, annoying story about his living conditions - so I won't even go there) for about a week or so - it's been less than a month. Anyway - this dog - "Powder" was a Pit Bull. At least we think that - I honestly don't think it was a pure pit - but who knows? I'm thinking that if it was PURE PIT - whoever had it before would have kept her - I mean even for the most horrible reasons - like to fight her or at least to breed her. But anyway, he had this dog at my parents house. They already had 2 dogs so this was not a good situation to begin with.

But, it turns out that this dog was a really, really nice dog. She was well behaved (for being bounced around like she had been - she listened well and truly was a nice dog.) Don't believe me? My LAB puppy (you know, labs - they're supposed to be the NICEST dogs?) well, my lab BIT this "pit bull" in the face - and while she did defend herself - it was MY nice LAB that started the fight and continued the fight. Powder, once told to back off, did. Unlike my NICE Lab. This "fight" was nothing more than a couple of dogs having a power struggle and we just ended up separating my puppy from Powder because she got along well with all the other dogs. MINE was the bitch. (Imagine that)

Ok, back to the story of this weekend. So Powder - got lose from my parents house. She found a spot in the fence that she could push up and got out. (see? she didn't even DIG) And, well the first time she did that (I think it was Monday) they were able to get her back. Actually a neighbor brought her home -because get this - she saw the neighbor walking HIS dog, so Powder just went on their walk with them!! Again - nice and a TRAINED dog. My dog DAISY? Yeah, she would have been soooooooooo gone it's not even funny. Powder (the big bad mean pit bull - ha ha) befriended a stranger and his dog and joined them on their walk. Powder should be the POSTER Dog for all pitties!!

That was Monday - come Friday, Powder got out again - (yes, they should have chained her - we have gone over all the should haves and could haves this whole weekend) and unfortunately she didn't come home Friday night. My nephew looked for hours - I went out there that night and drove around. Nothing - she didn't turn up on Saturday morning. So that's what took me to the pound.

I got there and of course they had her. And this is the part that really pisses me off. At everyone - the laws about pitts, my nephew for bringing this dog into the house and our lives, my mom and dad for letting him do it - not laying down stricter rules for my immature nephew. (who is over 21 years old - so it's not like he's 10 or something - he should know better.)

Anyway - the dog was picked up Friday afternoon by the pound. She wasn't hurt or hit by a car or anything - thank GOD. And she didn't hurt anyone or bite anyone - PRAISE JESUS. But, she was deemed a Pit Bull and would now have to be registered as a Pit and I believe that my nephew will have some fines to deal with because he didn't originally register the dog. But, please - how many people rush right down to the pound or where ever and get licenses for stray dogs that they find or take in? I never have. Once I've decided to keep the dog - I've then gotten them licensed. So, I'm thinking that a low percentage of people actually run right out and license and/or register strays. Don't even get me started on cats.

Now, this poor dog is going to be put down all because of it's breed. Not because SHE's a bad dog. It's because of the breed. That just SUCKS!! I think we (well, my nephew) could have gotten her back - but he'd have to register her as a dangerous dog (yeah right - she befriended a strange person and another dog and joined them on their walk - yup - total definition of a DANGEROUS dog.) And then, there's the task of getting or keeping my parents home owners insurance. I'm just sick about it all. And that's why I'm pissed. It's not even MY dog. My nephew brought this dog home and I met it like once or twice - but being the ~~crazy dog lady~~ dog lover I am, I'm heartbroken that this good, nice, sweet, loving dog is going to be killed - probably as I'm typing this.

The only thing that is keeping me somewhat calm is that at least I know what has become of her. She isn't being used in a fighting ring. She isn't suffering (well.. I won't go there) because she got hit by a car or being mistreated my some cruel person.

But she's going to lose her life because of some stupid rule. There are plenty of other dangerous dogs out there. Dalmatians are mean, obviously labs (my precious pup) can be mean, LOTS of dogs CAN be mean. But because she's "deemed" pit - she's automatically a risk. If she was a lab mix - she'd be at home (on a chain -since she's a runner) and enjoying a nice sunny day.

So, this post is dedicated to the LOVING AND PRECIOUS Powder. I wish I had the money and power to fight for you... hopefully in your last days (minus this weekend) you found peace and happiness as every good dog deserves. Correction - as EVERY DOG/Animal deserves.

This and that...

2009-07-11T11:40:00.006-04:00

It's pouring rain outside right now which has really ~~fucked~~ mucked up my plans of driving around with the top down (on the car) in search of garage sales. I've been pretty good this summer - haven't hit many sales (still unemployed right now) and honestly I just don't want more junk in my house. But a couple of weeks ago, my mom and I spent a Saturday in the convertible, got some sun and great deals. I got a couple new (to me) books - and my mom got a bunch of new baby clothes for the grand kiddies - that seem to be at EVERY garage sale.

But since it's raining I have to come up with a plan B.

Oh, I also CAN'T WALK THE DOGS in this weather. Although, I think they'd be FINE walking in the rain - but to go outside and do their business? Ummm.. 'no mom, I can't get my fur wet' is the response I seem to get from them. Whatever... Diva Dogs. Honestly, I can't blame them - I don't even want to go out and I can use an umbrella - so really? They come by this behavior naturally. Shut up now, Dave.

So, as I sit here trying to come up with plan B; clean the house? NO. (I have next week to do that - unemployment CAN have it's benefits.)
Clean my room? NOPE - Unemployment or not -I don't foresee that happening anytime soon.
Eat - Check. (I'm bored - what can I say?)
Call best friend who's on vacay? - Got voice mail. - so not the same when you have scoop.
Do some ~~CRACK~~ FACE BOOKING - find out that one of my "Scott's" (see THIS post) is moving to TEXAS!!
Call best friend again - DAMN YOU VOICE MAIL!!!

Yes, the ORIGINAL Scott is moving to Texas! (Well, technically he's not the Original - but he's the first of the 5 Scott's that I slept with.) But anyway.... And, OK, I don't even see/talk (except on FB) to him anymore. And, he's married with kids, but still, he's moving? To TEXAS? I mean, like that's, REALLY far away!! It's not like he's moving to another city within this state, (where I COULD- IF I WANTED to, STALK HIM) but noooooooooooo he's moving to TEXAS!!

As I said, I don't even see Scott any more, or (really) have feelings for him but it's like the end of something - what I don't know, but whatever it is, it's coming to an end. I actually found his post yesterday that said he was Texas bound, blah blah blah. Something about his ~~Bitch~~ I mean, wife getting a promotion. It's all her fault. (yes, I'm 12)

So of course, I commented on his page and was all "what's in Texas?" oh, and "travel safe" (hoping that this was just some sort of vacation/trip) And all of his other FB friends did the same thing too - so I'm not THAT much of a stalker) and all he said to me was that, and I quote: "wife got a promotion." See? It IS the wife's fault!

I don't even know why this is, um, upsetting? I don't think that's the right word. Maybe unsettling is better. But like I said before, I don't see him or talk with him, but I guess this is just the end of something. Another person/thing that has moved on from my life. Uggghhh. I so badly want this year to be O V E R. Nothing good has come of this year. Well, at least not yet. Maybe all these changes are leading up to something grand? (doubt it) but I'll remain hopeful since I really don't have any other alternative.

So that's all for now - I need to go to SOMETHING. It's almost 1pm and I'm still in my PJ's - Wrong? Maybe. But I did shower - I just haven't finished what I started. Which in a nutshell is my life.

Run Shopgirl Run!

2009-07-10T12:19:00.007-04:00

That's right - you ~~heard~~ read correctly. The Shopgirl RAN. Not for her life. Not for a Twinkie, not even for a sale rack. She just ran. But, unlike Forrest Gump, I didn't just run and run and run. I only ran for about 20 minutes today. But still, I RAN people!!

For those of you that know me. You KNOW I don't RUN. For. Anything. Ever. Even when I played Softball back in school (I played for 10 years) I didn't run - I was the catcher - pretty much so I could basically SIT behind the plate. (I COULD and DID throw the ball to 2nd base with little effort and my favorite thing in the whole wide world back then? Stopping ANY BITCH that tried to get past home plate.) But running bases? Nah... I made sure I hit that ball far far away - so I didn't have to hustle to first or second base. I just never got into running. My friends ran track and cross country back then -but I always had (and still do even after the reduction) big ta-ta's, so running? Pretty much out of the question.

I've always envied runners. Most of them make it look like it's so much fun and effortless. I mean - look - I just typed the word "runner" in my search bar and this is the image that came up:

Look how peace-ful or tranquil she looks. Runners also get to wear the cute running pants and tops - and a fun and bright colored sports tank or even bra because her body/torso are so fit and firm. I mean NIKE, ADDIDAS, SAUCONY and NEW BALANCE were all INVENTED for runner’s right? (C’mon – what did you expect from me, SHOPGIRL – you KNEW it was going to be about the outfit right??) Ok, back to runners - you see them everywhere, on vacation - uggh running on the beach. And you bet your ASS they're thighs aren't rubbing together so badly that they're not only getting chaffed but possibly a small fire breaking out between their thunder thighs. No, THEY'RE thighs probably don't even TOUCH - much less MOLEST each other the way mine do when running (or walking or standing still, or well, you get the picture.)

On my lunch break at the old job, I'd pass all the runners and think to myself – ‘I should give running a try - it might clear my head and reduce some of the stress I'm feeling here.’ I thought about that every day, pulling out of the office and on my way to Chipotle or Panera for my 1000+ calorie lunch. An hour later, I'd roll myself back to my desk in a Mexican/carb induced coma and think "tomorrow - tomorrow I'll work out.” Of course that never happened and I have the extra 30 pounds to prove it.

But you see, (here come the excuses) the problem - besides trying to move 100+++++ pounds at a quick-ish speed - is that I don't look like the tranquil runner losing herself in her own thoughts, clearing her head of the days events, brainstorming for a better way to solve the current crisis back at her desk. No, instead I look like an escaped mental patient not running, but thudding along, while flailing my arms in what would appear to be some psychotic episode, gasping and wheezing for my next breath. Instead of cute jogging pants I'd have plain running pants (no cute patterned ones for me - since they don't come in my size) and an oversized t-shirt to conceal my flabby (instead of toned) torso. The only thing brightly colored on ME would be my FACE. It would be twenty seven shades of red and I'm sure people who passed ME on the side of the road, would consider dialing 911 before they ever thought that what I was doing was meant to be an exercise of mental release.

And now that brings me to here, today. At XXX pounds (so. Not. Telling. So don’t even ask) I, Shopgirl aka Thunder Thighs, just ran. And I didn’t die! I didn’t look cute either, but I didn’t die and I didn’t quit. Let me tell you this, there is NOTHING tranquil about running. Nothing. I’ll say it again – just incase you didn’t fully comprehend that. There is NOTHING tranquil about running. Well, at least DURING the running part. I did feel great and even a couple hours later – still do! Like I’ve said before – I’ve always envied runners and have always wanted to run in a marathon (ok a short one) but still, I wanted to do it. And I don’t want to walk it. I want to run (most of) it. So, one night I was on ~~Crack~~Facebook and saw that a friend of mine from high school posted that she just completed her first run. Being the ~~nosey~~inquisitive mind that I am, I commented on her status and found out that she is trying The Couch to 5K Running Plan. (I’m not advocating this plan – nor am I getting paid for doing it, so if you’re interested in it – look it up.) After reviewing it - which it isn’t anything really all that new, I’ve seen similar plans in Health magazines before; I decided to give it a try. That was last week (or maybe two weeks ago). What? I procrastinate – deal.

So, I finally got myself up this am and decided to go for my first run. My friend is a week ahead of me (yes, I know we could have run together and motivated each other and yada yada yada – shut up.) and she told me that on her 3^rd day of the plan she didn’t feel so winded and was actually looking forward to her second week. (We’ll see how that goes for me) She gave me a few tips and last night I charged my iPod and figured out how to use the Stopwatch function. Who knew that my iPod had a stopwatch? I didn’t, that’s fo sure! And this morning I got myself dressed in my boring black Capri length running pants and XXL Blue T-shirt (it WAS a Tommy Hilfiger – had to throw in SOME cuteness) and headed to the park to try out this running thing. What? You thought I’d just run in my neighborhood on the sidewalk? Pfft! My neighbors already think I’m a dork – I don’t need them seeing me trying to RUN.

So stay tuned to find out if I go for my second run on Sunday. According to the “Plan” (which is 9 weeks long) I’m supposed to give myself a rest day in between runs. And since I’m ALL ABOUT following rules, I’m going to rest as I’m told. Now, if I only had a job, I could use my “rest day” to go out and buy cute running shoes (Nike and iPod have this combo stopwatch/trainer thingy that I MUST have.) and a cute little outfit/cap-visor/new sunglasses (you know, for the sun glare on the running path) and a new water bottle for all the H2O I’m going to be drinking. Stimulate the economy indeed. Would somebody hurry up and hire me already? I’ve got 6 months of shopping to catch up on.

See you in two days!

Breaking news.....

2009-06-24T11:01:00.002-04:00

June 24th, 10:30am - location: shopgirl's hood.

This just in....
5 pound "wanna be dog" narrowly misses death by one 70lb and one 30lb "real dogs" because "purse dog's" owner allowed her to run free into the road with no care at all about stupid insignificant dog. As the real dogs owners controlled them, purse dog continued to run towards her imminent death as her owner leisurely strolled over to gather her dog.

Ok - so I'm not a journalist and my play by play needs some work, but here's what went down. I'm walking my dogs - minding our own business, and they're actually being really good (shocker - even to ME). When all of a sudden I hear someone calling out to their dog and I use the word "dog" losely because what it really is, is a 5 lb- good for nothing-except to look cute in a dog purse - but even then - just fucking ri-god-damn-diculous to have such a small effing dog - dog. But whatever.

Anyway - this "dog" comes running towards my 70 and 30 lb dogs and as I try to controll my dogs and tell them that this is NOT a squeaker toy or a snack, the other dogs owner? Does. Nothing!!!

They finally get their dog back into their yard - ok I thought - wrong. The effing dog comes back!! Now my dogs are like - "it's on... like Donkey Kong..." and I'm trying to hold back 100 pounds of dogs that want to rip this "dog" to shreds and the the owner? Casually. strolls. over. calmly saying.....c'mon Toby (or whatever the fuck this dogs name was). All the while, my dogs are salivating more than Pavlov's dog ever did. Ummm.. Stupid C-U-Next Tuesday bitch? Your dog? about to die if you don't move your fucking ass a little quicker. And my dogs? will probably get the death penalty because of it and then? Yeah, it WILL BE ON - LIKE DONKEY KONG. UGGGHHHH.. People - there are fucking LEASH Laws for a REASON!!! Keep your dog - no matter how small or big - on a fucking LEASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So much for a peaceful start to my day!!

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

2009-06-23T18:04:00.002-04:00

Hmmm... I think I can remember how to write a post and then update my blog. Hmmm... ok, easy does it.. I type in my blog address in the address bar.... http://missdaisydog.blogspot.com.... ok.... slowly... here we go... phew! It's still up and running - even though I haven't posted or barely commented on anyone else’s' blog in like for-freaking-ever. Ok... click on "new post" - whoa! That's A LOT of BLANK space staring back at me waiting for words or even just a few taps of they keypad to state something, ANYTHING that has been on my mind lately. .............................................................

hmmmm.................. what. is. on. my. mind?

yup... that's pretty much it.......... a whole lotta B L A N K

But yet there is, as Dave Matthews so eloquently put it back in 1996, So Much To Say. (Seriously, it was 1996 Yes. it. was - I just googled it and it's now playing on my computer) Where has 13 years gone? Anyhoodle - as Mr. Matthews put it:

A year of crying and the words creep up inside
Creep into mind yeah
So much to say, so much to say, so much to say, so much to say
So much to say, so much to say, so much to say, so much to say
Here we have been standing for a long long time
Treading trodden trails for a long long time

I find sometimes its easy to be myself
Sometimes I find better to be somebody else

There is so much to say and so much to talk about yet I can't seem to get it all out. It hasn't been a year, but it sure feels like that long - being unemployed has certainly taken me for a wild - yet uneventful - ride. I'm so lost right now without my job and I'm at odds with myself for that very statement, because I really didn't like my job - at least not for the last year. Sure, there were parts (the people mostly) that I liked. The traveling - that was great - California a couple times a year (and Southern Cal at that) and then the East Coast - but I struggled to even stay at that job for the past year. I looked for a new job even more so than I am right now, but I was just to chicken to up and leave. And now, here I am, wish granted; summer off and not working at a job that I don’t like, and I’m lost.

The thing about my unemployment is this: now that I have all this "free time" on my hands? It's getting me no where - literally. I mean, I do NOTHING all DAMN day. Sure, I walk my dogs (that's the ONLY CONSTANT in my life right now) Everyday we walk. I mix it up sometimes, 3-4 miles one day and then maybe just a 1/2 - 1 mile around the 'hood. And that equates to the sum total of my day. I have no money right now (to spend on anything but the BARE NECESSATIES) so I don't shop. Even when I had my severance I didn't shop (ok - a whole lot) because I was trying to pay a bunch of stuff off - hoping that I'd be back to work before it ran out. Nope. That didn't happen.

Now I wish I would have spent some more of my severance on ME. I wish I would have gone on that vacation to Ireland I was thinking about or at the very LEAST - gone to FL and stayed with my sis for a couple of weeks. Who wants to go to Florida now, in the summer? It's like 150 degrees there now. I'd fucking explode from the heat! Uggh.. And the bugs? No thanks. I should've said "fuck looking for a job that doesn't exist in OH" and went to Florida in February when it was 70-80 degrees there and 2 fucking degrees here.

I'm pissed. At myself. For not doing that. Now, here it is - 6 months since the "massive layoff" and I'm still in my house. Doing nothing.

I used to think I wanted to have summers off and that I’d do all this “stuff” with my free time. You know what? I’m soooo not that girl. I don’t have a plan. I don’t have a schedule. And even when I do have a schedule, I rarely follow it. Something will be on TV. or someone will call or I’ll take a 4 hour nap (I’m not lying about this one.) and then all of a sudden Monday turns into Thursday and January is all of a sudden June.

Ok - I do have to interject here - I have done stuff. I've worked on my house - planted flowers, re-arranged the furniture in every room and in general just done "house stuff." I also volunteered at my church during Bible School. This solidified my choice of never - EVER - wanting to have children, much less more than one. (I do like kids - I just don't want any.) Some people don't want a dog... I don't want kids. But it was fun none-the-less. And, I learned A LOT about the women AND men in my church. Vibrators, honeymoon tapes and drunkeness oh my!

But, I still feel like such a failure for not having a job right now. I mean, I’ve been working since I was 14 years old. Ok, it was babysitting – but I babysat every day after school until I turned 15, when I could become a lifeguard and earn a real paycheck (and meet hot guys in bathing suits– who am I kidding – that’s why I took THAT job) where they took things like FICA and SS out of that paycheck. As soon as I was able to drive I had myself a job at the mall or anywhere else that I could get a paycheck every Friday.

It’s something that I’ve done for over 20 years and I’ve realized that it wasn’t the JOB that I went to everyday. I couldn’t have given a S#!T about my “career," it was the people and the gossip or whatever was going on that got me up everyday and into the office. I also just happened to be really good at whatever job I did so I usually stayed at said job until something better (read: more fun and more money) came along.

Now, I have two dogs that I spend every. waking. (and sleeping.) minute with. Do you know what kind of “scoop” you get with two dogs? None? NOPE. You get the POOPER Scoop kind. Seriously, I get the “shit” all day long from these two. Yeah, I know it’s not funny. It's not SUPPOSED to be funny. It’s pathetic.

I also had this grandiose idea that I’d become this FANTASTIC writer and somehow be DISCOVERED while I was out of work. You know what? You ACTUALLY HAVE TO WRITE in order to be discovered. And I have nothing (or at least the will) to write about! I used to write about all the crazy resumes I reviewed that day. Or all the crazy people that I’ve interviewed. Now the only interaction I have is with two dogs and while I love them very much (shut up Dave, I do love her!) there really isn’t much to write about.

Well, except this: Last night I discovered what looked like a ZIT on my little Miss Sassafras -my new-ish puppy. So, being the zit-picker/poker that I am, I POPPED Sassy’s Zit. Yes, my evenings now consist of watching (and re-watching) the Real Housewives of New Jersey and popping my dogs zits. I. so. Need. To. Get. Back. To. Work. Because, really? I’m not thinking Random House Publishing or any other publishing house is going to come knocking to hear about the complexion dilemma of little Miss Sassafras.

They’re also, and I’m just guessing here, not interested in the following that occurred in my life today:

10am: 1^st call of the day from Dave to tell me he voted and to remind me to vote.

10:15am: Finally got my butt out of bed – what? Where do I need to be today?

10:17am: Let dogs out, made toast from left over Fathers day bread from Panera – YUM.

10:30am: Walk dogs

10:45am – Had fight/discussion with dogs that dead squirrel in road is not “snack” and I still can, and will feed them when we get home.

11:30am – back home, dogs fed and I’m off to vote against Mayoral Recall.

11:45am – in my car wondering why I wasted my time and how much of my tax money went into this vote to recall a Mayor that we (as a city) just voted IN. Seriously, this money? I’m thinking could go to jobs in this city to hmm, I don’t know, employ someone like me!!

11:50am – I’m hungry. Lunch at Subway. Can’t decide between sensible Turkey Sub or yummy higher calorie Spicy Italian Sub and decide to play nice and let person behind me go ahead of me.

11:55am – No good deed goes unpunished. Person behind me (now in front of me) orders lunch for her entire workforce – ummmm? Shouldn’t you have called that in?

12:30 (stomach has actually flipped inside out b/c I’m so hungry): order/pay for my Sammy and finally feeding my pie hole.

12:34pm – 2^nd call of the day from Dave. Yes. I. Voted.

12:35pm – Yes. I’m. Eating. No, the thought NEVER occurred to me to come to your office and go get YOU lunch.

1pm: Need grocery items – (and whatever else is on sale.)

1:20pm: realize I forgot my checkbook have to get money out of ATM and mad about stupid ATM fees from both bank and said ATM machine.

1:21pm: Think about getting my own ATM machine business.

1:22pm: Think this is too hard.

1:23pm: Pay for groceries – head home.

1:30pm – get home and realize I took too much money out of ATM – now have ATM fees AND possible overdraft charge. Grrrrrr.

1:35pm – SPEED to bank to put money back into account – cross fingers and pray cash credits account first.

2pm-5:50 – surf the internet. Send several text messages to friends begging to meet for drinks once they're done working.

5:51pm – Yippie! someone responded. Hopefully I'll have good "scoop" for blog fodder tomorrow…

stay tuned!

Oh - and Random House? Or any other Publishing house out there? I'm a MUCH better writer - feel free to send me an ADVANCE and I'll show you!

Oh John Hughes - how I love thee....

2009-05-28T10:59:00.003-04:00

You are the master of teen angst. And for that, I heart you.

Breakfast Club
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Weird Science (LURVE LURVE LURVE Robert Downey Jr.)
Sixteen Candles - Jake - need I say more?
Planes, Trains and Automobiles - "that's not a pillow!" (ok - not a teen movie, but still hilarious!)
Uncle Buck

and the best of all:

Pretty in Pink - I heart BLANE - even if "it's not a name, it's an appliance."

Seriously, what's NOT to love about this movie? There's Molly Ringwald - who made all of ~~us girls~~ me in the late 80's bring out our inner designer and I'm pretty sure inspired the Madonna look - or maybe it was the other way around? I don't know which came first - but I was inspired by her that's for sure. I even made some of my own clothes in HS (even though I wasn't from "the wrong side of the tracks"), and unfortunately they didn't turn out as cool as hers.

Oh, how about the DUCKMAN? DUCKY - I mean, how cute and adoreable is he? And his undying love and somewhat stalker-ish obsession with our herion Andie? While today, it would probably earn him a restraining order, back then it was what every girl wanted - right? And, don't you just want to cry when he tells Andie to go after Blane? Seriously, this is the MAN. The Duckman. (bonus points if you remember his ACTUAL name in the movie.)

Ugghh, but for all of our love and adoration for Ducky - there's my repulsiveness and distain for Steff, Blane's friend portrayed by James Spader. Yecccchhhh.. I swear, it was this movie that has turned me off to him forever. Even though he's won accolades and awars for his role on "The Practice" I admit, I've never watched it because of my hate for Steff. Wrong? Maybe. But true.

As I sit here today, ~~not looking for a job on the internet~~ taking a break from CareerBuilder surfing, I can't help but smile as those two crazy kids, Blane and Andie, finally get together at the end of Prom. I still, to this day, want to be Andie and be at the Prom (in my very own designed/and made from my friends 20 year old dress and my dad's cheap prom dress) making out with Blane.

I so wanted to be Andie -not only because of her cool (hand-made) clothes, and the "I don't give a shit about the popular kids" attitude, but also - because she got to make out with the dreamy BLANE (Andrew McCarthey) in this movie. Ok, so BLANE is about the queerist (real word?) name in the whole wide world - but I would just call him B. or maybe he had a normal middle name? Whatever. I loved Blane - didn't you? I still heart him to this day. How excited was I to see him on Lipstick Jungle (sadly, now off the air.) looking as DREAMY and ironically, still a "richie?" Still. mad. that. it. was. cancelled.

Blane, er Andrew McCarthy, reminds me of this boy, Scott (*not his real name) that I was in love, love, love with in High School. (Co-incidence?) Unfortuanately, I didn't end up at Prom with Scott. Or anywhere else for that matter. Actually, I was the Duckman in THAT relationship. But I ~~blame~~ place responsibility of my crush on Scott to Andrew McCarthy. Oh, how I had the teen angst (and - ironically again, ongoing in my life - I mean, for reals, the guy keeps showing up in my life out of the blue all the time!!) for Scott.

I grew up with Scott - our last names were similar, so in the small school that I went to, Scott and I were always seated next to each other, in the same home rooms, if it was in alphabetical order - there we were - right next to each other. But, sadly, we just became friends. That's it. I mean, he HAD to know that I wanted it to be MORE than just friends? Right? See? I am the DUCKMAN in this scenario.

When he went off to college - which happened to be where my best friend had gone the year before and my cousin and aunt lived - I would go down to visit ~~him~~ them. This went on for, well... too long. And, ironically? Lead to five (5) more Scott's in my life. Hmmmm...

Honestly, I really did go onto meet and date 5 Scott's! So, the 2nd guy named Scott - was just a coincidence, but 5? That's just weird. Right?

Oh the drama, the ANGST. Well, gotta run... there re-playing Pretty in Pink again!!!

Fuddy Duddy, Old Lady, GROWN-UP.... sigh.....

2009-05-14T22:33:00.004-04:00

It's official. I've become one of those, oh God, I don't even want to say it. Ok, so I'll just whisper it ok? Ready? *Deep Breath* I'm OLD. No, I've become one of those older people. You know the ones, when discussing today's youth, they start sentences with phrases like "in my day" and "when I was his/her age." But today, I did it. I was talking with my SIL discussing my nephew and I said it. I said "his generation just doesn't want to work like my generation did." Dear God and baby Jesus - where in the FFFFFFFFFFFFF did that come from? And, when will the "I used to walk to school every day UPHILL both ways" line come out?

Then, later tonight I was driving to my SIL's house and as I cruised down her street (while talking to my BFF on the phone - see? I'm not THAT old) these KIDS (probably like 14-15ish) were riding dirt bikes or mini bikes on.the.road. (which is ILLEGAL in my hometown) (I know this b/c I did the EXACT SAME THING when I was 15).

Anyway, they were coming right at me, they didn't even pick one side of the road - I had to drive RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE! So, as I'm talking with my friend, I yell at these kids "it's ILLEGAL to ride those on the street!" I. am. my. dad. And - this is not a good thing in any way -shape - or -form.

Yeah, they just looked at me like I was some crazy old-no fun having - person. Which is probably what I did when:

I. was. their. age.

Oh God, make it stop!

Turning the economic downturn into an upbeat road trip!

2009-05-06T22:51:00.002-04:00

So.... being unemployed DOES have it's perks. For one thing, I have all this time on my hands to do virtually anything (within my limited budget) I want to.

Well, Tuesday - I decided that I wanted to meet the FABULOUS Jen Lancaster - the author of 3 and now 4 of my favorite books:

Bitter is the New Black - Confessions of a Condescending, Egomanical, self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry a Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office.
Bright Lights, Big Ass - A Self-indulgent, Surly Ex-Sorority Girl's guide to Why it Often Sucks in the City, or Who Are These Idiots and Why Do They All Live Next Door to Me?
Such a Pretty Fat - Or, Why Pie is Not the Answer.

And her newest book:
Pretty in Plaid: A Life, a Witch, and a Wardrobe, or The Wonder Years Befoee the Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smart-Ass Phase

- which went on sale YESTERDAY at Borders everywhere. And, in Birmingham, MI where I (and my also unemployed blogger palio - Cookie) got to meet and greet with the FABULOUS Jen herself - and got my VERY OWN COPY - SIGNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (how cool is THAT?)

I soooooooooooooooo couldn't have done THAT if I was still working, well, without taking a few vacation days. And - it VIRTUALLY cost me NOTHING - How? you ask? Well, because of FORMER job - where I traveled MY ASS off - I earned a ton of hotel points - so I was able to get my hotel room for FREE. Said hotel not only offered a FREE breakfast in the morning, but on Tuesday afternoon/evening when we got there? They were also offering FREE dinner too! How about THAT for the non-working girls?!?

It was soooooo much fun! It was an 80's themed party and I was TOTALLY rocking my BIG HAIR, BRIGHT BLUE Eye shadow and Polo Shirt with the collar TOTALLY FLIPPED UP and of COURSE - my Pegged Pants and Penny Loafers!! I was like, Oh MY GOD - soooooooooo cute!

See, I'll show you:

But wait! There's more! This morning, after our FREE breakfast, we headed to the MOTHER SHIP (Ikea - for those of you that don't read my blog) where I had to return several things that I had previously purchased but have decided that I just ~~changed my mind about~~ didn't want/need them - so I got a GIFT CARD/STORE CREDIT to spend in IKEA (I consider this FREE money - since said purchases were made when I WAS working and had a disposable income). So, I got to do a little shopping at IKEA - and it didn't affect my checkbook AT ALL - so that's a win in my book.

Then, on the way home - we stopped off at Tony Packo's for a YUMMY lunch.

All in all - an UPBEAT and FABULOUS road trip able to be had because of the economic downturn...

Enjoy - and I'm sorry, but you'll have to get your own book to check miss Jen out or check her out at: http://www.jennsylvania.com/

Now... I have to get back to my book!!

Oh, and there was this WAY cute boy (too young for me and maybe just a bit to metro sexual for even shopgirl's taste) that was there and waited in the TWO HOUR LONG LINE to get books signed for his SISTER who lives in California. HOW CUTE/QUEER is that????

I heart him for being so sweet to his sissy....

Jobs that I just may not be qualified for.....

2009-05-04T13:43:00.003-04:00

Planting Grass - the shopgirls way......

1. Scratch up the ground to prepare for grass seed

2. Spread grass seed evenly to ensure proper seeding

3. Cover seed with light cover of top soil and hay.

4. Take your time Blocking off area (like the better part of a Sunday afternoon.) to ensure seeds will not be disturbed while grass begins to grow.

5. Explain to two (very cute) dogs that the area is blocked off for a REASON.......

NO, Daisy! I don't think it's cute that you're playing Peek-a-boo with the rope!!

So.... Landscaping? Yeah, it's off the list of new careers....

It’s all about the bennies (benefits that is)

2009-04-02T22:55:00.006-04:00

So, it’s been about two and a half months since I was laid off from my job, and sadly I’m still unemployed. But, that’s not what this post is about. Today I want to talk about something that has/is on my mind all.the.time. BENEFITS. Benefits are an important part of any job – I know, I am was a recruiter and I talked these points up during EVERY.INTERVIEW.I. CONDUCTED.

And now, that I’m UNEMPLOYED, it’s ALL.I.THINK ABOUT. Well, that, AND the PAY of my next job (will it be the same or better than my last job or am I going to have to take a cut.) But it’s mostly the benefits. Alright, I think about the Benefits and the “WHEN” I’ll actually LAND a job. Because it would be nice to know how much longer I’ll be sans-job. It would also be nice to get a job while I still have some severance coming it because my bank account could use a much needed boost right about now.

Back to the benefits though. I’ve been doing a LOT of thinking about the benefits. What will my benefits be like at my next job? Because this time around? I’m making sure I get a “great” package.

Of course I’ll want:

· Medical
· Dental
· Vision
· 401(k) – well, maybe – we’ll see how the stock market is doing.
· Stock options
· Flexible Spending Account
· Hmmm.. travel … but maybe a little less than the last job.
· Telecommuting
· Flexible schedules
· FAT Expense Account

Ok… so the last three would be nice to have but aren’t deal breakers.

Now, on the other hand, being un-employed DOES have some benefits. Don’t believe me?

Look what the girls and I got to do today, on April 2, 2009 in OHIO where the weather was a BALMY 70 degrees!!

I was out catching some rays too - even got myself a sun burn too - but I'll spare you the pics - as I'm not "picture perfect" yet. You'd think with all this "time" on my hands, I'd be little miss work out queen - guess my walks are not working the cardio as well I'd like. Guess I'll have to work on that, and well... my tan!

This wonderful moment in the sun with my poochers was brought to you by the state of the unemployed.....

I'm back (and, at warp speed!)

2009-03-28T13:38:00.003-04:00

Woo-hoo! I've got my computer back!!! No more sitting in a library that needs to be patrolled by POLICE!! Sheesh - I thought I lived in bo-dunk city, OHIO - not Compton or something like that from the movies... (I'm such a white girl.....)

Anyhoodle - I'm back - for a minute anyway - just to say "hey!" and brag a little about my "computer fixing" experience. This guy that I took my computer too, fixed/cleaned out and added more memory to my computer and has me all current on the latest and greatest software updates and he did it all for under $40 and 2 days!! I just love when I get a bargain AND excellent customer service!!

Seriously - my computer is O.L.D. and if I had the money (and a job) I'd just go buy a new computer - because I really want a lap top now - but for $40 (instead of $500+) I have a faster computer than I did 2 days ago and I got the nicest guy ever to fix my computer. He did the same thing for my dad's computer for only $20!! (mine needed and got, more memory.)

So - now I can upload, download and blog blog blog at the speed of light (well as fast as the internet connection, that I can afford right now, will let me) - all in the privacy and SAFETY of my own house!! I too, have a security system in my house - no gun toting law man -but I have these two security features that will protect their master on command:

Yeah, they look all cute and cuddly - but look at THESE choppers: (BTW: it's the LITTLE puppy that instigates all the fighting with Daisy....)

But, SERIOUSLY? Here's how they REALLY feel about being on GUARD DUTY:

What could be worse than losing your job and the only interaction with peeps is via the internet?

2009-03-27T16:56:00.002-04:00

Well, for starters? NOT having your computer for THREE WHOLE DAYS!!! So, I'm sitting here at the library on a S L O W internet connection trying to log onto my blogger account and checking emails and it's literally like watching paint dry.... Seriously I know that the internet is FREE and all here at the library - but does it have to be this SLOW?? And, I know I really have NO WHERE TO BE right now -being jobless and all, but that doesn't mean I have ANY MORE PATIENCE. Oh well, I think I get my computer back tomorrow and woo hoo it will have MORE memory and the guy tells me that it's running a WHOLE LOT FASTER!!!

I wish I could install a memory chip into my pretty little head and make my old lathargic ass move a little faster - wouldn't that be great?? I also wish that I could remove about 100 pounds of useless fat from my ass and my gut, but hey, if I'm dreaming? I'm going to go big. Speaking of big - I'd get new boobs too. Not bigger - just perkier. Whoa - sorry, maybe that was a little to much TMI for a Friday and in a PUBLIC LIBRARY no less, sorry - sometimes I just type the randomness that is in my pretty little head.

Today I'm at a nicer library (not the one in my hood.) Here, people are ACTUALLY quiet. The Library in my hood? Actually has a COP on duty - given the look of the clientele yesterday... I pretty much understand, but seriously - when did they have to have POLICE OFFICERS in the public library? I live in a small town - or so I thought, but I guess it's not a crime free town. Sad - can't even go to the library and feel safe. Or maybe you can - since the "law" is there.

Well this post is pretty much going nowhere - I just felt like I had to get some of these really meaningless thoughts out of my head and since I was sitting in front of a computer (even though it's not mine) I thought I'd unload here.

A better post will follow - I promise...

Where do I even start . . .

2009-03-23T19:33:00.006-04:00

It's been sooooo long since I've posted here - I'm not even sure I know how to do it anymore. Awwww... who am I kidding - it's like a bicycle (or sex) no matter how long it's been, once you're back in the saddle - it all comes back - um right? Well, maybe - because it's been a LONG time since I've been on a bike and well, about the same amount of time for the other since I've blogged. YIKES!!

Well, lets see here - what's been going on in Shopgirls' world?

Unemployment:
Ok - so minus the fact that I'm earning a paycheck - I am enjoying my time at home. I wish I could hit the lottery or something or wish my house was paid off -because, I think I could be really good at this "stay at home" gig. The "shopgirl time" (well, minus the actual SHOPPING) is AWESOME and plentiful - WAY, WAY better than my last gig - where I only had weekends off and no Personal Time Off at all, however, the benefits and the actual pay well, to put it bluntly - SUCK ASS. But this year? On St. Patty's Day? I didn't have to use ANY vacay time and I got to party at my leisure. How great is that??

This past month in Ohio has also been VERY SUNNY - some days were even down-right WARM too - I got to enjoy EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!!! I've worked in my yard, walked my dogs and have visited friends in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY!!!

Oh - and MIGRAINES?? I don't think I've had ONE since January 21st!!! (my PAROLE date of the former job) Hmmm.... connection? I think so!!

Oh,, and NAPS!!! Why oh why did I fight NAPS when I was little? NAPS are AWESOME!!! Especially around 1 or 2 in the afternoon and with a dog on each side of me in bed.... AWESOME.... Why don't they have Nap time in Corporate America? Well, they do - they're called MEETINGS but why is the actual "napping" frowned upon? I guarantee - if we could actually NAP for the HOUR PLUS bull-shit meeting the EXACT same results would be reached.

The job-hunt:
Well, I have no funny stories about resume searches -because, like I stated - I'm UNEMPLOYED and no longer have access to review resumes and look at the silly reasons people list for leaving or ridicule their incredible spelling errors. My resume, however, is posted ON. EVERY. SINGLE. WEBSITE. OUT.THERE. (Hopefully, error free and "recruiters making fun of me"-free.) I am interviewing this week so that's a good thing. Hopefully something will come of that.

Dental ~~Dis~~Pleasure:
Today, I went to the dentist. Usually this is not blog-worthy, however, this was a new dentist and can I just tell you? I think I'm in LOVE with this dentist. Not because he's hot or anything like that - because he's not. It's because, this is the first time in my 30+ years of going to the dentist (I have REALLY bad teeth - even though I brush and floss regularly), that I ALMOST - ENJOYED my visit!! I know! AND, I even had TWO cavities filled!!!

Ok - I know, you are nuts shopgirl -but listen, I usually end up crying like a big fat baby when I'm in the dentist chair. Not because I'm scared or anything -it's usually the pain and believe it or not - I have a small mouth (shut up now, Dave) and to keep it open (seriously Dave, shut up) for them to fill a cavity? My TMJ goes into overload and I'm just in total pain. Ok - so I still freaked ~~the fuck~~ out a little bit today when he gave me the "shot of Novocaine" but after that, it was a BREEZE.

They had this thing-a-ma-bob that propped my mouth open and had a light in it so the dentist could see AND it had a suction thing on it so I didn't gag the entire time. It was FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!!! My doc filled those two cavities AND took several molds of my mouth (I'm getting a LOT of dental work done) in less than an HOUR!! AND??? my jaw didn't hurt at all AND I had no headache from it all AND?? No tears!!! OMG - is this how going to the dentist is supposed to be??

You see, I used to go to this ~~NAZI~~ other dentist who was just PURE EVIL... He ~~was~~ is a total PRICK and has this "I'm God" attitude. I should have switched dentists a long long time ago, but honestly, I'm just too lazy and even though he's a douche-bag, he was a pretty good dentist and in all my years of going to the dentist? I've never, ever had a "pleasant" doctor - EVER. So, today?? I can't even tell you how AWESOME it was.

And - you know what's even better? This dentist that I went to? It's my OLD dentists' back up doctor. I only found him because while my ~~prick~~ dentist was out of town, I had a problem and called this new guy - and the old secretary picked up and we started talking and she told me that I should come see this guy from now on. She left the old dentist to go work for this guy and so did another gal from the office - it's hysterical!! And, I'm not the only patient that has "secretly" left the old prick to go to the new and improved one!!

Puppyhood:
I've changed my puppers name AGAIN. This time I think it's for good. Her name is Sassafras - or Sassy for short. It's because she IS little Miss Sassypants. Every. Time. I. Tell. Her. No... she "sasses" back at me!! So, Sassy suits her just fine. She is soooooooooooooooo smart tooo!! She is pretty much house broken/potty trained (no.... she doesn't use the potty) she just knows NOT to potty in the house. But, if she DOES have to potty, she uses the puppy pads (4x4 maxi pads - that I wish I would have invented because I'd be rich - and I could stay at home!). She enjoys driving Miss Daisy absolutely bonkers, and I thoroughly enjoy this to no end.... They (Sassy and Daisy) are soooo stinking fun to watch it absolutely makes my day to see them play and romp and wrestle with each other.

Sassy had her first vet visit last week. Not cheap - thank God I only have one more round of shots (for a while anyway) and hopefully I'll be gainfully employed (or will hit those lottery numbers) by the time she needs "fixed" or else I may be taking up a collection.

Well, that's all for now... I guess I should prepare myself for my interview tomorrow, because I DO have to get back to work..... eventually anyway..

I have a favor....

2009-03-09T22:20:00.002-04:00

So - today I have a request from any and all of you. I have volunteered myself to be the "unofficial" PR person for my church. What can I say? I'm out of a job - there are no job prospects in sight (even cashiering at Payless, Walmart and the local grocery chains - turns out - my job WASN'T so bad.) and I have to do SOMETHING productive. So, since my major WAS Public Relations - I figured, I could try to help out with the promotion of my little church.

Little Church is one of our biggest problems. Our membership has been declining the past couple of years and we'd obviously like to build it back up. We have lots of fun things going on at the church, i.e. Movie Nights, Spaghetti Dinners, Musicals, Brunches, etc. but the problem is: ATTENDANCE.

I think the root of this problem is the ADVERTISING - or lack there of. Do any of you belong to a church that has these kinds of activities? If so, what kind of attendance do you have and how do you get the word out? Of course - we'd also like to advertise our church services as well - I'm sorry to get ahead of myself - I'm thinking of all the "activities" and not the important part - the service and fellowship.

Also - does your church have a website? We do - but it needs "tweaked" and that's what I'm hoping to do. If you have a website - are any of you in charge of it or do you know who does it? I'm new to web programming -but have a lot of time on my hands now to learn (that's supposed to be funny - given that I don't have a "paying" job right now)

Any/all help suggestions that you could offer/share with me would be very much appreciated. Thanks in advance!
Shopgirl!!!

And we have a name.... I think.....

2009-03-01T19:48:00.005-05:00

Ok - so if don't know about the new addition to my family... go here first.

So, at last post - I have a new little one in my home but she was name-less until today. At least for now anyway - there's always a chance I'll change my mind (I'm prone to doing so) but, I think I've come up with a cute name for my new puppy.

We all know about my girl Daisy - and how for the past two years she has been literally the center of my universe. Ahhhh to be a dog and to wind up at Shopgirls' house - it's total heaven.
Anyway - since I have a Daisy I wanted to give the new pupper-doodle a "flower name" as well. So, after much thinking, Internet googling, and just plain trying out several different names (who knew there were sooooo many names of flowers?) I think I have it.

I really liked Lily - but, my that is my niece's name and don't think it would be appropriate to call my dog that name. But, after trying:
Sweet Pea
Butter-cup
Tulip - or Tula
Poppy
Blossom
and even Dahlia (my original thought - but when I actually looked up the flower Dahlia? yeah... it's not a pretty flower - to me anyway - so um, no...)

So I was back to the flowers I like. Well Daisies are my favs and Tulips are my second favs but then when I look at the pup - she just LOOKS like a Lily. What's a Shopgirl to do?

I then started looking at "other" types of names - names with a meaning - no flower connection at all. But I couldn't find anything. I kept going back to Lily. Then I thought about some of my travels, and thought about my favorite places. Hawaii - looked up all Hawaiian names (but really? I'm not going to be able to spell any of them) Then it hit me. One of my FAVORITE places to travel the last couple of years was California (specifically San Diego), but since she's not a HE - Diego was out. Then I got it! Cali-lily or Cali for short.

What do you think (not you David) I know, you wanted Petunia or Daphne or Daffy (for daffodil) or Pansy, but: No. No. Maybe. and Possibly.

It's between Cali and Tula. At least for now . . . .

So, is she a Cali or a Tula?

Thank God and the Baby Jesus . . .

2009-02-27T17:27:00.004-05:00

So, if you haven't heard about my cell phone dilemma - go here first.

Ok - so are you all hyped up now?? Can you believe it?? 600 ~~FUCKING~~ FRIGGIN DOLLARS!! I know, and I can assure you that I was just making my typical calls to my usual contacts and then of course all those folks that I've called regarding a JOB - since I have none right now.

So, after ~~FREAKING THE FUCK OUT~~ reading over my cell phone bill, I called up Verizon (free 611 call) and talked to someone in Customer Service. This gal was actually nice and sounded like she truly wanted to help me. She did change me into a better calling plan so this ~~FUCKING BULLSHIT~~ unpleasant episode won't happen again. I can now call people who are not on the Verizon plan and I won't be pillaged for it. Then, she said she'd give me a one time "courtesy" credit. GREAT! I was thinking, and this is what I THOUGHT I heard her say: "I'll be able take 40% off your current bill." Woo-hoo! I thought - that's like almost 1/2 (hey, I'm too cute to do math) Anyhoodle this sounded great!

But, as everything in Shopgirl's life - this was not what she ACTUALLY said. What she DID say, was that she could take 40% off of the minutes I went over my plan - which was like 600 minutes. So, it was a ONE TIME COURTESY CREDIT of those 600 minutes - not the rest of my bill. (which was about $100) Ok, a credit is good and all, and I'm GENERALLY not one to look a gift horse in the mouth (is that the way that saying goes? B/c it really makes no sense to me) Where was I? Oh yeah, so I'm like - ok a credit of $100 but that still leaves me with a bill that's still close to a house payment or 2 car payments.

All the while, I'm thinking to myself - I pay like $80/for 2 lines and we USUALLY only use about 700 minutes total. (sometimes more - but not 600 more) Oh, the second line? Moms and Pops - I want to know I can find my 80 year old parents where-ever they may wander.

So, if I'm paying 80-ish for 700 minutes and I've gone over my bill by another 600 minutes - in MY PRETTY LITTLE HEAD the bill should be like 160 (80 +80) or possibly 200 for all the other b/s (taxes, fees, fees for those fees and taxes - you know). But not $500!

By now it was 11pm and I was just too tired and too upset to call back. So, after a less-than-restful night I got up this AM and called back. Of course I got a ~~bitch~~ not-so-nice customer service rep on the phone and she REFUSED to help me at all because I took the ONE TIME COURTESY CREDIT - and if I wasn't satisfied with that I should have said something last night. Now it was too late. UGGGHHH!! Well, I didn't KNOW I had the right to refuse this credit and ask for more. So I asked her what kind of help they could offer me, because right now? being unemployed? I don't have $500. At least not for a cell phone. Yes, I want to keep in touch with my peeps - but $500? Can feed me for a couple of months or pay my car for a few months.

Do you know what she said? There is NO PAYMENT PLAN... UNTIL... YOU'RE ALREADY PAST DUE. What the fuck is wrong with companies? I'm trying NOT to be a DEADBEAT here... I'm trying to WORK with this company so I can remain a GOOD customer, but you're telling me that being a customer for almost 20 years (I got a cell phone at an early age b/c my sis worked for Verizon way back then) and mostly paying on time - you won't help me until I'm already in the negative??? Yep - that's what she was saying to me. This kind of thinking just blows my fucking mind - no wonder people are buying houses they can't afford and letting them foreclose - there is no good reason NOT to. I wish now, that I would have bought my MILLION DOLLAR mansion and lived there for as many years as I could have and not paid anything - because now? I'd probably be getting some NOT DESERVED help.

Defeated and just plain fed up... I hung up and went on with my day. I figured, FUCK IT, let them turn off my phone - I'll just go to another carrier and get another phone, because I AM NOT paying $500. They won't be able to call me if they turn off my phone! But, I just wasn't raised this way (dammit) so I tried calling Verizon again. (I also, don't want to get another phone, get a new number, it's all just too much and it shouldn't be this hard.)

So, I called Verizon for a THIRD time. Explained my situation for THE THIRD TIME. To a THIRD CUSTOMER SERVICE REP. Got told a THIRD TIME that I was already give a COURTESY CREDIT. But this time, I wouldn't let up - I was nice, but stern. I didn't beg, but matter of factly, told the CSR that this was in a nutshell, bull shit and why not just help me out instead of watching my account go unpaid and ultimately end up in collections. Well, after about 20 minutes of banter and 'checking my account' and 'speaking with his supervisor'..... I received another credit which ultimately cut my phone bill pretty darn close to 1/2 of what it was last night. (Like the way I originally thought I heard the FIRST CSR say.)

It's still a lot of money-and I'm convinced that Verizon is NOT losing anything. PLUS, they are keeping a customer and a HAPPY (sorta) one too. I now don't have to be the deadbeat that companies these days want you to become and I don't have to change my phone number or get a new phone that I'm sure I wouldn't know how to use anyway..

Thank you Baby Jesus and Bill the Verizon guy....

The Moral of my story? If at first you don't succeed, try and harass and keep calling back until they credit your account dammit!!!!!!!!!!

OH HOLY FUUUUUCCCCKKK....

2009-02-27T00:18:00.003-05:00

Ok - so I'm not Catholic and at my church we really don't (or haven't been taught to) give up anything for lent. But, after tonight, I think I may (have to) give up something. My Cell Phone
: (

I just logged on line to my cell phone account and Thank God I was sitting down. Ok, last month my bill was a normal (well as normal as it usually is) dollar amount. This month? And remember, I've lost my job and have apparently been calling LOTS of places for a new job and my palio Dave - (who BTW is NOT ON MY PLAN) So this months bill?

Wait for it......

R U Sitting down?

Seriously? You should sit.... (trust me)

$600!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What. The. Fuck?????????????????????????????????????????

I could get a Louis Vuitton! Or SEVERAL Coach wallets or one VERY nice Coach purse.

OR - a NEW FUCKING COMPUTER THAT I so BADLY WANT!!!

I. Fucking. Hate. VERIZON!!!

And, I was doing sooooooooooo good being all happy what with the new Puppy and all... Well? it's Ramen noodles and cereal for the next couple months................

Hmmm..... let's try to find a positive in this.... If I only eat Ramen noodles and cereal for the next month or so:
1. I'll be able to repay the phone bill and still be able to answer calls from prospective employers.
2. I'll probably lose some weight and my suits for interviews with said prospective employers will probably fit better.
3. I won't have to give up my lifeline to all those ~~Dave and Jerry~~ friends who aren't on my plan.

Well, that's not very many positives - but that's all I can come up with. Any other ideas on how to pay back the Louis Vuitton-esque bill?

Blog responses only - no phone calls PLEASE!

How do I tell you this....

2009-02-24T17:05:00.005-05:00

So, I know I've been out of the loop recently and when I have been here - I was really down and out. So I guess that would explain how I ended up here with this news. You see, for the past oh month or so, I've been living rather recklessly. You know the drill; going out with anyone and everyone, drinking, smoking and coming home late... What? I don't have a job right now.... it's not like I need to BE ANYWHERE in the morning. But, while I was busy having fun and only thinking about ME, well, um... you see, wow... how do I? Oh my. I guess I should just, gosh this is really hard to explain, er - well, there's really no EXPLAINING to do - I guess I just thought I was being careful and taking all the necessary precautions, but I guess NOTHING's 100% right? well, expect if you ABSTAIN, but really - that's just down-right impossible, er - for me anyway.

What I'm trying to say is: Gosh - please don't judge me - because now I'm unemployed and this is the 2nd time I've done this. I promise - I won't end up on TV with EIGHT - like that OTHER WHACK JOB unemployed single woman. But, well I'm just going to say it: Oops. I. Did. It. Again. I am a.......

FUR MOM - again.

PHEW!!! That's a load off.

OMG!! What did you think?? That I WAS PREGNANT with a REAL baby!! PUH-LEEEZE - I HAVE been protecting myself from THAT CRAZINESS since the first time I laid (nice choice of words) eyes on a hot boy!!

(No offense to all you 'human' mommies out there - but I'm just not the "maternal type" when it comes to human babies.) But, you see, I AM the ~~crazy-dog-lady~~ maternal type when it comes to the poochers! And seriously? How could one NOT be when you look at THIS FACE:

Isn't she PRECIOUS? Yes, I agree - SHE IS!!

She is just a wee little thing - and is only 7 weeks old.

But, because this was not a PLANNED ~~PREGNANCY~~ PUPPY, she currently doesn't have a name other than "Pooh-ders" or "Pupsicle"

I'm working on a name, but being the ~~nut-job~~ creative one I am, I am trying to come up with something ingenuous. And, since I already have a Daisy I was thinking of something in the "flower" family, because - what girl DOESN'T like to be surrounded by pretty flowers? Well, I'm sure there are ~~crazy bitches~~ some girls who DON'T like flowers - but not ME - I loves me flowers and since I don't have Mr. MANZ in my life right now, I'm not getting any (flowers) right now.

She and her fur-sister Daisy are getting along fine - now. Last night (our first night together) was questionable. Daisy WAS. NOT. HAPPY. AT. ALL. WITH ME. But, she's doing better today - and we (Daisy and I only) went for a long walk and I think that helped.

So, stay tuned - as I try to figure out what to call this adorable little creature that I will "love her and hug her and call her ~~George~~____________________.

(My favorite quote from the Abominable snowman cartoon with Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny.)

PS - for those of ~~Dave~~ you that are paying attention to my "not working and have no money situation" - This pooch was FREE to a GOOD home. Ummmm... Hello? Dogs find HEAVEN when they come to the Shopgirl's house!! I'll post more pics later - I already have TONS - but my Internet is S.L.O.W. tonight and I don't have the patience to wait!!

Seriously?

2009-02-15T12:56:00.002-05:00

I'm sooooooooo hating 2009 it's not even funny. And I'm usually all about the funny. So, in January, I lost my job of 8 years and 362 days. Then, my friends' dad died unexpectedly. And today? Well, it is going to be a FUN day - because my dad turned 80 years old on Friday and we're having a surprise b-day party for him tonight. So, that, I hope will be all fun and no drama.
But just now, I just got of the phone with my sis-in-law and she tells me that they have decided to put their dog "Shadow" down tomorrow.

OMG! So this brought on all kinds of emotions - because we all know what kind of dog lover (crazy lady) I am, and then it brought back the emotions of when I had to put my own dog down two years ago. Now, Shadow is a 13 year old Lab and she's not in good health - so I do believe it's the right thing to do - but still, seriously I'm hanging on by the thinnest of threads here and I really didn't need this.

I know what you may be thinking - what are you getting all upset about your SIL's dog - you big baby, but 13 years ago I lived at home before I bought my house and that's when I got Roxy - my lab. And my brother and SIL lived right up the road from my parents house. Everyday, I walked Roxy and we'd go get Shadow and all go for a walk. Roxmeister and Shadow were buddies. And now, to hear about Shadow dying just makes me think about Roxy all over again.

I hate death - I know it's a part of life, but right now I'm one big bag of emotional goo and this isn't helping. I am really lucky because in my lifetime, I really haven't had to deal with much death in my personal life. Aunts, uncles and grandparents have passed - but honestly, I wasn't that close to most of them due to geography - so their loss, while sad, didn't hit me as hard as say - my dog and now, Shadow. I don't even want to think about the thought of losing my parents because if I'm struggling over my SIL's dog - then I'm in trouble. And with my dad turning 80 this weekend and my mom celebrating hers in May - well, I just can't think about it.

This is just one big sappy, gooey post and I don't apologize for it at all - I need to get my emotions out before I burst and this is the only place right now that I can vent. I am trying to get myself together and just when I think it's going to be a good day - I get news like this, or another "rejection" letter from one of the 1000 employers that I've sent my resume to.

I will try to come up with a more cheerful post - but right now, I just don't think I have it in me. So, please... for Shopgirl.... keep writing funny stuff on your blogs because the TV is too depressing and my reality is just a little to real right now....

Dark Days

2009-02-09T16:18:00.005-05:00

Well, it's been 2 and 1/2 weeks since I was laid off from work. I wish that I could report that I've had several interviews and I'm currently negotiating 4-5 offers right now. But sadly, that is not the case. In reality, I'm barely holding on - and it's only been 2 and 1/2 weeks. Oh sure, I have some good days - I even shower. But mostly, I'm lying in bed in a deep dark depression. TV doesn't help, in fact, it makes it worse. I don't know if I'm just hearing the same story over and over again - but if I hear that "this person" has been out of work since last AUGUST, one more time.... Or that this January is the worst in loss of jobs in like 30 years, I think I may put a bullet in my head. Out of work since August? That's (hold on while I do the math) 6 months! I don't have that kind of time or severance, or savings for that matter! I'm starting to freak out a little here.

2009 has not been "fine" for me. In fact, it has pretty much sucked the life right out of me and it's only the 2nd week of the 2nd month. Man, this is a HAPPY post isn't it?? Let's re-cap for moment on the year of 2009 -

We innaugerated our first Black President on 1/20/09. YEAH!
I lost my job on 1/21/2009 - BOO HISS!
(And isn't this the president that's going to fight for equal pay between men and women? How about equal layoffs between men and women - since 2 women were let go in my department and the one and ONLY ~~man~~ penis got to keep his job.)
My childhood best friend's dad died on 1/30/2009 - BOO HISS!
I finally got to see my childhood best friend - after a year of emailing and chatting - but it wasn't quite the reunion I was hoping for.

Ok - I'll stop - because really - only the last bullet point is the worst of my "oh woe is me" sob story. Things just really aren't THAT bad - yet. I still have a lot of time left of my severance and I do have some savings that I can use. For the most part, I'm healthy - except for my teeth (which I forgot to bullet point). I had to have an emergency root canal last week and just for added fun, I think I have ANOTHER cavity on the other side of my mouth. Thank God I have my insurance for a few more months. But, really, I guess things aren't THAT bad.

Like I said - I do have my health - and now, since I don't have a J.O.B. to go to every day - I'm getting A LOT more sleep (ha ha) and I'm walking Miss Daisy Dog around the 'hood for at least an hour every day. These are both things that I WISHED I could do on a constant basis while I did have a job. Wow - be careful what you wish for eh?

I think I'm at a loss because I'm finally realizing how much I actually DID enjoy my job. Well, maybe not the whole job in and of itself, but I did like the people I worked with and actually interacting with them on a daily basis. Maybe this lay off was supposed to happen to show me that I really don't want to work from home. I have to admit, I'm not doing well all by my lonesome. For as much as I thought I didn't like people (funny, since I worked in HR) I sure do miss my peeps and the chit-chat that goes with those peeps.

We all know I love (maybe just a little to much) my dog - but quite honestly, Miss Daisy Dog is working my last nerve. All she does is BARK all damn day!!! Has she NOT figured out that the mailman comes to the house EVERY EFFING DAY around 11am?? And, how many times does she have to run up and down the stairs to bark out the front window and then from the window in my bedroom. And how is it, that for the past 2 EFFING years - she was able to go 8+ hours a day without having to go outside and now? Now that I'm home? She has to go every EFFING 15 minutes? Also - she's all good and sleeping when I'm NOT on the phone or on the internet, but as soon as my cell goes off or I'm trying to fill out an online application - there she is - either barking at a GOD BLESSED leaf falling from a tree or at my feet whining because now (when I'm trying to upload my resume), she needs to go "out."

Like I said - I'm not doing well with my time ~~off~~ out from work. For those of you that still read my blog - I do read yours (when Daisy's not bugging me or barking non stop) - and it's what's keeping me sane. So thank you for your stories - funny or not. I haven't posted to many of your blogs, because, well as you can see, I'm just not in a good place right now. I hope this Dark Mood lifts soon, because I just don't think I can take it much longer. And, if by some miracle, I do finally land an interview or two - I need to be in a more positive place so I can actually LAND that job and get myself back to work. (I mean, seriously, I need some good stuff to bitch about and work generally brings that out in me!!)

Ok - that's all I have for now. I do have a couple of "funny" stories to share and I will... I just had to get this "ick" out of me - maybe it will help.

Irony . . . It's what's for Breakfast

2009-01-25T00:06:00.005-05:00

'So, what's new Shopgirl?' you ask. Well, lots actually.

Hmmm... where do I start? Oh yeah, I'll give you an update on my stress test. Good news! My ticker is A-O.K.!! Guess I am a good test taker after all (and I didn't even study!) Can I get a woot woot?

But . . . I got that news on Tuesday, January 20th. Heart all good on Tuesday.
Wednesday, however, was another story:

January 21, 2009 (just 3 days shy of my 9th anniversary at work) I'm called into an office to be told that I'm one of the 114 people that my employer is laying off due to the economic downturn. Hmmmm.... might want to check my heart-rate.

Yes, just 3 days shy of my 9th year anniversary, I was let go from my job. At 9:30 am I was a member of the recruiting "team." At 10am - I was an 'ex ~~con~~ employee' and was being watched as I quickly packed a few of my personal belongings from my desk before I was ~~escorted~~ paraded out of the building. The entire "getting rid of me" (and two other of my co-workers) took less than an hour. People, I'm a recruiter - and an interview with our company takes about 3+ hours, but to give you the boot? Roughly 45 minutes from beginning to packed up and in your car driving out of the parking lot. NICE. Way to keep the "HUMAN" in Human Resources.

To be honest with you, I'm a little relieved. I hadn't been all that happy for the past 6 months or so. I did like my job, I just didn't LOVE my job. I will miss the people that I worked with. Nine years is a long time and I met and made a LOT of friends there. I will also miss the travel (which ironically, I wasn't going to do much this year anyway - because of the economy). I will miss MOST - the jewelry DISCOUNT - I have no other words than, now, I have to pay retail. : (
But I won't miss the political BS that is all to common in the corporate work place.

I'm a little fried to say the least. I never really expected to make a career in Human Resources. For those of you that know me personally (and those that know me really personally) you know that I am SO-not the HR kinda girl. But, I have to say that I found my niche' there for awhile, in recruiting. It was a rewarding job to go out and meet new people and introduce them to a new career that could possibly change their livelihood for the better. I took my job to heart, I wasn't just looking for a "body" to fill a position (no, that's my dating life, oopsie - that's another post.) but I truly wanted not only a good candidate for my company, but I wanted the company to be a good fit for my candidate. My numbers proved that too. I hired many, many employees and had the lowest turnover (candidates that left or were fired) rate in the group. I was good at my job. So, why did they "let me go?"

Well, I asked that same question. And this is what I got:

"Due to the economic downturn, the company has had to make some tough decisions and has decided to perform a company-wide reduction in force."

Or something like that. But she literally, read it from a script. Never looking us in the eye as she said it. I don't blame the person who actually had to deliver the news to me - it wasn't HER decision - she was simply the messenger. And, really, I don't blame the company either. I went to college - even took a business class or two. I know that when times are tough, you cut back. I have in my personal life - I am no longer the Shopgirl I once was. This is also "not my first time at the rodeo." Ironically enough, I was laid off from a previous job at the EXACT SAME TIME OF YEAR about 11 years ago. Why can't these things happen in June or July when the weather is perfect for working on my tan?

But, what I want to know - is why did I lose my job (someone with 9 years seniority, 18 reviews that were ALL "above expectation," and the recruiter with the MOST hires) and not my co-worker who had less seniority and less hires, etc. etc.? Of course I didn't get that answer and to be honest - I really don't want it either. I am just letting it go. They let me go - I'm letting them go. Well, a few rants and raves here and there - but I'm entitled - yes?

I have to keep moving forward and not look back. I made it through my last lay off 11 years ago. That company even paid for my breast reduction - after I was gone. Talk about a severance package! Ha!

I did receive a decent severance package this time around too - which hopefully will keep me going while I look for another job. I know I'm talented enough to get another job, but the problem is - so are the 100+ people who were also let go and the other 100's out there that have been let go from the 100's of companies around here and the U.S. So, while I'm trying to be positive and keep my chin up, it's a little scary right now. But hey, on the bright side: my friend Dave and I are on the Atkins diet and cheese is allowed on the diet right? Didn't the government used to give out that box of cheese to the unemployed or something like that? Hmmm.. that will come in handy now. Ha ha - just kidding. Well, ask me in a couple of months. . . .

I know that I'm not the only one out there in the blogging world who is and has gone through a layoff recently - it is a sign o the times right now. Life will go on (it will be different) but it will go on. The sun did indeed, come out the next day. (Seriously, it was a GORGEOUS - although cold, sunny day in Ohio on Thursday.) And I got to enjoy a walk with my pooch instead of sitting at a computer searching for resumes.

I am going to take some time for myself over the next couple of weeks and do a little soul searching and try to figure out what I want to be "when I grow up." I've even come up with a few ideas and I'm taking suggestions - so feel free to comment with any career ideas. Here's what I've got so far:

1. Dog Walker - but really, I only want to walk MY dog - do you think anyone other than the State of Ohio Unemployment Agency will pay for this?

2. Personal shopper - of course - I have to find clients who actually STILL HAVE JOBS and can afford to keep shopping and then also pay someone else to do it for them. Minor obstacle.

3. Channel Surfer/Couch Potato - hmmm.. No potato's on Atkins.

4. Blog reader and now commenter - since I won't get in trouble at "work" anymore for blogging. I think this is the winner.

5. My own boss - of what, however, I don't know.

And, I think there's a boss already here at home - Daisy Dog. While she's OVER-JOYED that we've been able to walk every day and during the day, no less. I think she is displeased that I'm also "here" all day too. This was HER domain from 8am-6pm M-F. There's going to be quite an adjustment over the next couple of weeks!!

Well, that's all I've got so far . . . I'll keep you posted on anything else I come up with.

Ciao!

I'm not a good test taker. . .

2009-01-15T15:50:00.003-05:00

Last week, I had a regular check up with my Dr. and he tells me that he wants me to go have a STRESS TEST. A little bit of back story, I discovered I had a heart murmur a couple of years ago – probably due to the Phen-fen that I took about 15 years ago – yeah, I know, nice. I just wanted to be skinny, and as a result I get a murmur and have even GAINED about 40+ pounds from 15 years ago. Swell. Coupled with the fact that I come from a long line of heart disease (stroke, attacks, etc. on my fathers’ side) my doc likes to keep an eye on these things. Then, last month I complained of shortness of breath and just basically felt like an elephant had taken up residence ONTOP of my chest. So, doc did an EKG and sent me on my way.

Which brings me to my visit last week, my doc tells me that I do, indeed, have some sort of heart disease. Of course he told me the name of it, but I don’t remember. What I do remember is this: he said, “If you’re going to get a heart disease, this is the one to have, because it’s usually benign.” Phew, that’s a load off ‘eh? Here I am, 30-something and I have HEART DISEASE. But, luckily, I didn’t draw the short straw and I got the “good kind.” What the efff? So, just to be safe – he decides to send me for a stress test. Did I mention that I’ve complained of excruciating headaches (that won’t ever. Go. Away?) and, am highly stressed out at work right now?

Quick back story again: There’s a management position that’s open at work and I’ve interviewed for it. I guess it’s between me and two other people. My boss just came and told me that it will be ANOTHER week until they decide. The job has been “sort of” approved – it’s now in the hand of the President of our company. Gee, I wonder why I’m stressed. This decision was SUPPOSED to be made like LAST WEEK, but now it’s going to be another week of waiting and hearing everyone ask me: ‘have you heard anything yet?’ (Case in point, as I’m typing this – someone just stopped and asked me if I have, indeed, gotten an update.) AHHHHHHHH!! Stop the madness – my nerves just can’t take it anymore. Really, it’s not my nerves – it’s my patience. And of course, I’m trying to give off that whole “management vibe” and trying not to lose my cool, but people, it’s very, very difficult right now!

So, back to my stress test which was yesterday, I was totally fine about it all last week, no biggie, I thought. I’ll be hooked up to some wires and have to run on a treadmill. Not fun, but not bad either. So I was fine. Until, I got in my car and drove myself (all by myself) to the hospital. It was so weird. I guess you could say I was anxious and nervous, but as I drove there, I was MAD. I was IRRITATED BEYOND BELIEF. I don’t know what happened to me – I just became enraged to have to go through this, and most of all, alone. (I think they may actually call this a psychotic break-down, but I could be wrong) So I got myself to the hospital, checked in and started filling out the paperwork. The aide came and got me, was super sweet and made me feel comfortable as we walked the testing area and I even calmed down – a little. Then, I get in the room and the two ladies (nurses, whatever) are like – ‘you need to take your shirt and bra off so we can hook you up.’ Ok, first of all, we all know that I CANNOT STAND poor customer service, and the way they ordered me to strip down so that could wire me up, could have been done in a much nicer tone. I just bit my lip and didn’t say anything and did as I was ~~told~~ ordered.

Now, I’m already anxious and upset, so imagine how my mood progressed as I sat there naked from the waist up while some strange woman is lifting my breasts to stick sensors on me? Yeah, it was a real morale boost, let me tell you. Finally, she finished and I was told to put one of those hospital gowns back on, not my clothes or even my sports bra! Now peeps, my ‘girls’ are big – even after the reduction I had 10 years ago. So I’m thinking ‘you want me to get on a treadmill and run with no support for my girls? Are you effing kidding me?’ Yes. That’s exactly what they had in mind.

Next up, comes the ultra sound of my heart at rest. The person doing this was ok – still no “wow” in the customer service department. I mean, if you’re going to basically “feel me up” with your ultra sonic device, can’t you at least make a little chit-chat? I mean, I usually get one or four drinks before anything along these lines happens, and since you’re a woman? Yeah, I’m going to need a whole lot of alcohol or at least a little bit of chit-chat. Apparently, they don’t offer that class in ultra sound school, either that, or she failed. Anyhoodle, she’s doing her thing – and then she looks at me and says ‘have you ever had breast surgery?’ Again, I’m lying there, completely exposed, and since I did indeed, have surgery, I said yes. I mean seriously – I’m lying there, in all my glory – breasts exposed for all to see – including the scars.

What I wanted to say to her was something like this ‘No. Why do you ask? Oh, you mean those huge scars under my breasts (that go from the middle of my chest to the side of my rib cage? Yes, you see, I have a cutting problem, but I’m fine now, no more razor blades for me, my therapist and I have made much progress over the years.” But I didn’t, I politely answered yes. And then, do you know what she did? (Because I'm not feeling exposed, angry, sad and anxious enough already.) She sighed. “Well,” she huffed, “I have to go get the Dr. and see if this picture is going to work” and abruptly left the room. Leaving me lying there, still exposed with the curtain open for anyone walking by the room to see. I would have just gotten up and ran for the hills had I a: not been half nekkid and b: not wired up like the bionic woman.

The Dr. came in and once again, no “wow” in the customer service department. He just stared at me without saying so much as a ‘hello.’ He just grunted to the woman ‘it’s fine.’ “IT.” I’m now an ‘it.’ Not a patient who’s anxious and scared, I’m an it. It’s third grade all over again. NOBODY wants to be an it.

From that point I got onto the treadmill and had to get my heart rate up to something like 150-160. This took about 10 minutes of walking and then fast walking at what felt like a 90 degree angle. I was literally sweating my balls off throughout all of this. Oh yeah, I sweat. A lot. Even in 17 degree (Ohio’s temp yesterday) weather. (Yet another one of my many endearing qualities that begs the question, ‘why am I single?’)

So, I’m barely holding onto the treadmill because my sweaty palms can no longer grasp anything and the nurse is taking my blood pressure – because really? When you’re struggling to stay on a treadmill at a 90 degree incline it’s a GREAT time for that blood pressure cuff to squeeze the life out of your arm. It’s a friggin’ miracle I didn’t just shoot right off the back of the treadmill.

I finally got my heart rate where it needed to be, and then the nurse hit the “kill switch” on the treadmill and I had to immediately jump off and go back, lie down and have another ultra sound of my ~~left boob~~ heart. Oh yeah, and as an extra bonus – I’m told to hold my breath so they can get a clear picture. I’m freaking hyperventilating and they want me to hold my breath? Where did they learn this routine, Guantanamo? After all of that, I was done. Well, they had to rip off the sensors from my exposed chest – that was the icing on the cake.

I got dressed and was able to leave and that’s EXACTLY what I did – I ~~left~~ ran out of the hospital to my car where I had a complete breakdown. I just had a full on sob-fest/pity party of one and I just felt so alone. I know, I have my friends and family, but I don’t have that “someone” who cares if I’m going to be ok or not and that just really makes me sad. I used to get this way whenever I traveled for work. I’d be ok until I got to my hotel room and realized that there was really no one in my life that really cared if I made it to my destination or not. I used to freak out because I’d think ‘if the plane crashes, or if there’s another terrorist attack (I flew into NYC a lot last year), who would the coroners office call to come claim my body. It’s very disturbing, I know, but these are the thoughts that would go through my very ~~emotional~~ fucked up head.

So there I sat, in a parking deck at .50 per 15 minutes and had a full on meltdown and called my best friend. She of course picks up the phone ready for instant comedy from me about this test, only to hear me wailing like her two year old (who, ironically, is named after me and doing just that in the background). Through sobbing and breath-catching I tell her about my whole ordeal and how lonely I am and blah, blah, blah and eventually, like the BFF she is, she has me laughing so hard that now my tears are from laughter and I’m able to drive out of the parking deck before I ran out of money to pay the meter. She stayed with me on the phone and kept me giggling and back to my old-self by the time I pulled into my drive.

And the whole time we chatted and laughed? Her two year old (shopgirl jr.) sat in the background and SCREAMED BLOODY MURDER because mom just couldn’t do anything to make her happy. I guess both shopgirl’s were having bad days. And mom’s customer service? I’m thinking it was not the “wow” that little miss was expecting. I’m just jealous that it’s still acceptable for little miss jr. to have a full-on meltdown anywhere her heart desires. I on the other hand, had to save it until I was in the privacy of my car.

When I finally got home, I let the Daisy Dog lick me up one side and down the other (which I'm REALLY trying to break her of – well, at least on everyone else) but last night? I needed it.

Tests. I have never done well with test. I hate them.

Well, until I get the results, I guess.

What if . . . and an update

2009-01-13T12:41:00.005-05:00

So I want to be a part of the Spin Cycle again!! But, I already had a “What if?” post, when I got the idea from from a contest on Ask Alice back in September. But I want to be in the SC, so I’m going to cheat (a little) and re-post – but I’m going to include a few updates – so it’s less cheating – yes?

So here we go again . . . along with an update . . . . One of my biggest "What if" moments happened about 6 years ago when I went to Maui, HI with my now BFF (then, friend from work) for her wedding over Memorial Day. I wasn't in the wedding but I shared a condo with the maid of honor and best man. We were the only singletons there. It was a very "Real World" meeting at the airport - because we honestly didn't know each other. Well, we’d exchanged phone calls and emails regarding the trip and I had met the maid of honor one or two times when I went back home with BFF, but we really hadn’t truly met and congregate with one another until we all met at the airport as our flights arrived. (The Best Man was from Chicago, Maid of Honor from Michigan and I am from Ohio.)

Side note: The three of us got along GREAT and had the best vacation ever. No fighting/hair pulling or anything – lots o fun! Six years later and every Memorial Day weekend I get out my pictures and just smile remembering the best 9 days in my life.

Anyway - the first night there, after dinner – Best Man and I sat out on the beach with a makeshift cooler (trash can from the room with ice) and a case of Corona's and just talked and talked and drank, and drank. Maid of Honor was invited to join us – but declined because she was tired and full from dinner. Before we knew it, and after hearing many funny and personal stories, taking silly pictures of each other and the MANY sand crabs (one who we named - Big Brutus), it was 5am and the sun was rising. In our drunken state - we tried (unsuccessfully) to actually SEE the sun rise - but we couldn't find it. Yes, the BIG ORANGE/YELLOW CIRCLE in the SKY? - We, (dru-unks) couldn't find it. (I am NOT lying – I wish I was.)

Nothing happened that night - romantically - except that we became great friends and the next week was the literally (VH1 plug here) THE BEST WEEK EVER. (for all 3 of us too). Over the course of the next 7 days we were as thick as thieves and never left each others side.
On our last night in Maui (the Maid of Honor had left for home the night before) Best Man and I had dinner and a little too much to drink - which would usually mean that something ROMANTIC actually DID happen right? Wrong! Way too much alcohol and we just both fell asleep. (or at least, that's all that I remember - we could have had wild and crazy sex - which I hope we didn't, because I sure don't remember it.) I had to leave the next day and wouldn't see him again until the reception back home for the newlyweds.

When we met up at the reception, in the newlywed’s hometown in Michigan, it was as if we never missed a beat, we were reminiscing about the trip – checking out my tattoo. Oh yeah, I always wanted a tattoo – he had a couple and said he’d go with me while we were in Maui – so I have a tattoo to remind me of that trip. At the end of the night Best Man drove me back to my hotel and at a red light I leaned over and planted a big kiss on him and told him that I’d been dying to do that since Maui. He said “me too!” Unfortunately, I was sharing a room with the Maid of Honor and others from the wedding so we would again have to wait to be with each other. The next morning, and after just sleeping and messing around a little/lot (but no sex because, well, I'm not a quiet person) with Best Man in my bed, we had to be up early at the newlywed’s house to watch them open gifts - ugggh!! All I wanted to do was consummate my new relationship with Best Man – not watch someone else open gifts!!

But like a really cheesy romantic comedy – this was not in the works for us. You see, the day went on. And on. And on and on ... and eventually we had to go our separate ways, he back to Chicago and me back to Ohio because (like an IDIOT) I rode to Michigan with the newlyweds and had to leave when they did. We tried to keep in touch via email and phone calls, but you know how that goes. Throw in the fact that Best Man was interviewing and eventually landed a new job, time was sparse. It just never came to fruition.

Except, one night 9 months later, (no I wasn't pregnant - we never actually had sex remember?) he came to visit the newlyweds unexpectedly. At this time, however, I was kind of dating someone else. While Best Man was at the newlyweds house, my BFF’s new Husband told Best Man about this someone else and this sealed the fate of any relationship between me and Best Man. What was he thinking?? I could have started dating Best Man and there wouldn’t have to be any of that ‘learning to like each others friends’ crap that you have to go through in a new relationship.

It’s been a little of six years now, newlyweds are still married and have 2 children (one even named after me!) and the Maid of Honor is also married with children. Best Man and me?

STILL SINGLE.
NEITHER OF US DATING ANYONE.

Do I think What If? All the time . . . .

Update to this story. In December of ’08, my BFF called to tell me that Best Man is currently looking for a new job and sent his resume to a company that is HERE. IN. MY. HOMETOWN. And, said company, just moved some of its offices in the building RIGHT. NEXT. TO. MINE!!

Of course, he won’t even get an interview – because this little bit of irony, is sooooooo my life. Also, if Best Man and I actually DID ever get together, I would have IMMEDIATELY found everything wrong with him (it’s what I do, I’m going to see a therapist this year, I promise) and the relationship would have ended badly – possibly losing my BFF in the ordeal. So, maybe the what if scenario is really just a story about two people that had a connection for a week in Maui.

Nah, I’m pretty sure this was my soul mate.

One step forward, a half step back?

2009-01-12T21:45:00.011-05:00

So, if you've followed my blog for any length of time, you know by now that I have many issues.
· My dog
· My weight
· My Budget - or lack there of
· My patience - or lack there of
· My hair
· The mice that will. Not. Leave. My. House.

This post is about none of the above.

This post is about addiction and therapy.

There are many drugs out there - and I admit, (hey, I went to college) I have tried a lot of them from time to time, but there is one addiction that I just cannot seem to kick. And, it's one that I just get such a high from:

SHOPPING.

Of course, it leads to immediate regret and ultimately guilt because I've got so many credit cards with HUGE balances and a credit score so low that's it's also my goal weight. It's crazy, I don't even keep half the stuff I buy, I just buy it for the high of having something new, oh, and the bag – I just lurve shopping bags, especially the glossy ones, but let's get back to my post. Then, a couple ~~days~~ or ~~weeks~~ ok, maybe even months later, I return it all.

And, no, I'm not a "renter" of new things. I worked in retail for a very long time and we had renters all the time - you know who ~~you~~ they are. They buy an outfit and, um a weekend or two later, they return it because "they changed their mind." Yeah right, they changed their mind after they wore/used it for whatever event they needed it for. (OK - I've actually done this - but it was a long, long time ago - and it was for my senior pictures – well, not that long ago.) My family was broke and I just HAD to have the cutest clothes for my senior pics - so I bought all of my outfits the day before my photo shoot, made sure the tags were tucked in and out of the camera’s view and then returned said outfits to the mall that afternoon. What? I had my senior pictures taken in August - who needs 3 wool sweaters in August at full price? Ok, so we have that out there – I was a renter, but no more.

What I am, I've decided is a bulimic shopper. I binge (shop til I drop) and then I purge (regret, return and credit back to my card.) When I shop, sometimes it IS fun, but mostly, it’s all about chasing that “feel good high” of buying new shoes, clothes or both with one exception – it ALL has to be on sale. I get an even BIGGER rush when I’ve gotten something at an incredibly low price because
a: it justifies me buying 2 or 3 of them and
b: I ~~don’t~~ can’t just buy one.

Instead of one sweater, on sale from $79 marked down to $19.99 (.99 gets me every time) I have to ~~binge~~ buy two, maybe even three. I have to have my basic black, but then I also like red and I look so good in blue. I might as well get three because I’m getting three sweaters for less than the price of one! This, is how I do math. I would make a horrible business woman. I would. No doubt in my mind – whatever business I would run, would be bankrupt in six months time.

Then I ~~purge~~ return. I’ll get home with my three sweaters and then my $100 worth of I-don’t-know-what, that I had-to-have, from Target and IMMEDIATELY guilt/regret will consume me. My high has just ended and I plummet into a deep depression that will keep me awake for nights on end, thinking about my bank balance until I return most, if not everything, I just bought. Binge and purge. Buy and return. They say bulimia is all about control. What am I trying to control by buying stuff and then returning it?

It’s my moms fault. No, really. It is. My parents are much older than most of my friends (and probably yours) parents. They are 79 (my mom had me in her 40’s – yes, I’m still young-ish) and they grew up during the depression. And let me tell you, I have heard about the depression for like My. Entire. Life. I have been called spoiled since I don’t even know when. You know the story you hear from your grandparents (or in my case, my parents) about walking to school, uphill, both ways, in their bare feet? Yeah, well I heard that about everything.

“You want a new sweater, Shopgirl? When I was your age, I only had two sweaters and I had to I hand wash them every other night so I had something to wear to school.” Ewww. I would wrinkle my nose, make a face and just storm off when my mother would make that noise. My grandma lived three hours away, and since I grew up in the house of miser, I couldn’t call long distance to confirm or deny the tale of the two sweaters. Instead, I would re-treat to my bedroom and peruse through Newport and Speigel catalogs and Seventeen magazine and daydream about the day when I would be old enough to have my very own credit card and then be able to buy that sweater (or two or three) on my own.

So I think that’s why I am the way I am today. Growing up, I wasn’t allowed to have many new things, and money was always talked about like it was evil. (Don't get me wrong - I had what I needed - but just not what I wanted and never, ever designer goods.) It seemed like we never had enough, so spending it on anything we wanted as opposed to needed, well it just didn’t happen in my family. I remember one time when I needed new basketball shoes and this displeased my mom to no end. (What? Bench warmer is an IMPORTANT position – what if someone gets hurt? I was there to get in the game if needed)

Anyway, tennis shoes have ALWAYS been expensive and it seems like they’re even MORE expensive when you HAVE to have them. My mom took me shopping and of course she went straight to the sale rack and found a pair of ~~Converse~~ cheap shoes. They actually weren’t that bad looking – they were no Nike’s or Reeboks, but they weren’t that bad. At first sight. When I put them on, however, that’s when the trouble started. You see, these were the only pair of basketball shoes that the store had, and were on sale. All the others were like double the price, so these were the shoes my mom wanted to buy. And she did. Even though they were Two. Sizes. Too. Big. She didn’t say it, but I’m sure she was thinking “you sit the bench anyway, why do they need to be the right size?”

“Oh, I don’t know mom, maybe because a 5’1” girl doesn’t normally have size 9 feet, but hey, I’m sure no one will notice and I won’t be made fun of. No. Not in middle school. The kids are swell and so considerate of everyone’s feelings and fragile egos.” I’m pretty sure this is when all of my self esteem issues started too. But I'll save that tasty treat for another post.

Tonight, however, I made progress. I went to the store to return the sexiest, but I-really-don't-need-another pair of $100 leather high heeled boots that I got on sale for $59 before Christmas, thank you very much. Going in I kept thinking to myself, I can return these way to expensive boots and buy something else because everything is marked down right now. Well, that’s exactly what the old Shopgirl did. (be patient, the progress report is coming)

I picked up four shirts that I thought were cute, but mainly because they were 50% off the original price and then an extra 40% off of that. That’s like almost FREE – right? I didn’t even try them on, I just put them on my credit card. I figured I’d try ‘em on at home, and if they didn’t fit I’d bring them back (and start the whole cycle all over again).

But. Therapy Shopgirl stayed in the store and looked around and thought about what I had just done. (I also found a couple of other things I wanted to try on – but I was thinking about my purchases) So I went to the dressing room with said purchased merchandise and the other items I picked up and began trying everything on. I ended up NOT LIKING ANYTHING and returned my previous purchase and left the store!

Well . . . . I did buy a coat. But listen, it was originally $60 – marked down to $29 and then another 40% off of that brought it to just $17. (you guessed it…99).

Baby steps. It’s all about baby steps.

OMG! The Mouse is back!!!

2009-01-08T21:04:00.006-05:00

For those of you that are new here - read this first.

For those of you that are STILL here - well, it hasn't been a great new year yet. I was on vacation the last week of December and returned to work on January 5th. Nothing too major to come back to at work - except they took our work from home (WFH) day away - so that's sad. For the last year, we have been able to telecommute one day each week and let me tell you, it was WONDERFUL!! The sheer fact of not having to comb my hair or get out of my jammies for one full day? It made me LURV my job all that much more. But, now there is no more WFH. I take it back, it's not sad. . . . it SUKS! Really, the price of gas has gone up AGAIN and that one day really did make a difference. And, no, we're not paying $4/gallon - YET - but still, it was nice to NOT leave the house unless absolutely necessary (i.e. lack of fudgsicles).

But, THAT is not what my blog is about tonight. No, my story of HORROR tonight is THIS: Another ~~effing~~ FUCKING mouse is back!!! And THAT's not even the WORST part! OH. MY. GOD. are you ready for this??

Seriously - this SHIT is NOT for the faint of heart.

I found the mouse "evidence" (sigh) In. My. Car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh. Holy. Fucking. Baby. Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

People, seriously - I think I may have been driving around with this rodent for quite some time now! And? Let's get real here - where there's one there's more than one - yes? Anyone want to buy a 2006 Conv. Beetle Bug? I mean, I haven't ~~really~~ actually cleaned my car out in a really (read: never) long time.

So tonight, I decided that it would be a good night to clean everything out of my car and I discovered my CAR MATS had been CHEWED on (and NOT by Daisy!!!) And there was torn up napkins with little "teeth marks", and it was when I took my car mats out to actually VIEW the chew marks - that's when the "evidence" mouse shit fell out all over the snow!! So, I cleaned it all out - vacuumed like I've NEVER vacuumed before, and I even - oh my god - put a mouse trap INSIDE my car.

Ok - this is how tomorrow is going to go down, so for those of you that read my blog and live in the same town as me - take note. If I go out to my car tomorrow morning and there's a dead mouse (or god forbid), a LIVE mouse in the mouse trap, I. Will. Die. Literally, I will pass out and FREEZE TO DEATH in my garage. So, my fellow peeps, if you don't hear from me by 9am, call 911 and send them to the MOUSE HOUSE.

If you have any ideas on how to get rid of this NIGHTMARE that I'm living right now, please let me know!

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Happy Festivus! Yada Yada Yada!!

2008-12-22T10:17:00.004-05:00

I just want to send out to all of you from the Daisy Dog and Shopgirl, a very Merry Christmas or Holiday or Festivus!! Below is my Christmas Card that I sent out to my friends and family IRL and I'd like to share it with my "blogging" friends too!

I hope Santa is good to all of you and your familys and I hope the Economy is good to all of us in 2009!!

The caption reads: Dear Santa: Dis is Daisy Dog. I no Elf. Mom dress me like Elf. You no send Elf presents. Send Dog stuff!

Merry Christmas everyone!!

Shopgirl

You do WHAT at your job?

2008-12-17T15:14:00.004-05:00

So, I'm perusing through the hundreds of resumes that I should have perused days ago, and I came across on application in particular that made me do a double take.

This person is from UT - but it's not the infamous Stinky Bee (I don't think anyway!) and that's all I'll disclose about the candidate. Don't need to lose my jobs here my peeps!

Anyway - I'm looking through the application (see? not even going to say if it's a he or SHE - whoops!). So the work history is good - been at their job longer than 2 days - er, a year, yeah - that's what I look for. Anyway - they have the mad skillz I'm looking for. And then I get to their description of their job duties. This is what they put: Sales ass and the Assistant manager.

I swear, it's true - I didn't make this up! She also QUIT her job - who could blame her? I've been known to make an ASS of myself on an occasion or twenty. But to make it my profession? I guess I'd quit too (or I'd like to think my friends would step in and conduct an intervention.)

This Wacky Wednesday Witticism has been brought to you by my wonderful job that I must get back to!

Part Deux - Is he or isn't he?

2008-12-05T17:09:00.006-05:00

For those of you that are new or simply don't remember (because it's been that long since I first posted this story) - read this first.

So, you really want to know ‘eh? Is he or isn’t he? My boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, LOVER, husband, wasband, or indeed: GAY?? Well, you’ll just have to continue reading to find out. Don’t bother skipping to the end – because I’ll put it somewhere in the middle, sorry – my sandbox, my rules!

Picking up where I left off, I went back to work on Monday at the station more confused than ever. Was he or wasn’t he? Could he be interested in me or am I just working a (very low paying) job at a radio station because I think some boy is cute? CD’s and concert ticket, while fun for a college student, do not pay the rent nor help you move out of your parents’ house any faster. Well, days turned into weeks which turned into months before I got anywhere with him. Turns out though, I liked my job and was quite good at it.

After the wedding, the two of us became friends – we’d go out occasionally but it was always work related. He’d have a “nite-out” that he was DJ’ing and I’d always go – you know, to support (stalk) a co-worker. I’d like to say I was always calm, cool, and collected during these times – yeah, I’d LIKE to say that. I was more like a psychotic jealous girlfriend who would watch him like it was my JOB or something. Seriously, if any girl came up to him I would give her the evil eye and immediately appear by his side asking if he “needed anything.” (umm? Hello jealous head, he was a DJ at the local radio station so he was kinda popular so girls would come up to him.) It’s a wonder he became my friend at all, looking back – god, I’m a mess!

It was obvious to the staff that we were friends and probably I that I was DIGGING him big time. I’d like to think that it wasn’t that OBVIOUS – but the word subtle is not in my vocabulary. (Then or now even.) Rumors were also flying around the station that he was INDEED gay. This just made me sick. The more I got to know him, the more I wanted to make him mine. (“I will love him and squeeze him and call him George.”) I just passed it off because most of the rumors were coming from one of the sales guy – Ron – who if he WASN’T gay, then my ‘gay-dar’ is seriously off. Yes, Ron was married – but, he was so cute and pretty (yes, I said HE – Ron was cute and pretty – boy-band pretty.) and his wife, well, she was just plain – not ugly, but not what you’d expect him to be with. Plus, Ron was such a girl – he gossiped like a girl, worried about his looks, weight and hair like a girl. A complete mo. This was all I needed really, to dismiss his theory that MY Dave was gay. Ron, I thought to myself, "YOU are just jealous and want Dave for yourself."

But, these rumors got the best of me and I just couldn’t stop thinking that maybe it was true. One day, Dave came by my office and I don’t remember what he did or said exactly, but my reaction to him was “You’re such a faaaaaa------” (Side bar: I called EVERYONE a FAG back then – I know, it’s not PC but whatever, if you were being a duechebag, you got called a fag by me – male/female anyone really.) I didn’t actually say the whole word, I only got out faaaaaa and caught myself. (too late however. ) he stopped, dead in his tracks and “looked” at me and I just said (I really did) “I’m not calling you a FAG, but you’re being one.” He just smiled at me and on he went and I just knew, DAMMIT, he IS.

And that was that, I would now be his friend, which let me tell you, took A LOT of pressure off of me. I didn’t worry about “looking cute” every day (well, yes I did – I don’t care who you are, I’m going to look cute everywhere I go.) But I didn’t have to look “cute” for him. I also didn’t care if I talked with him every day or not – I think I actually became a better employee at this point, because I wasn’t constantly walking around to make sure he saw how cute I looked or talking to him to make sure I got enough “face time” with him. Don’t get me wrong here, I still “hoped” he wasn’t and I was naïve enough back then to think that he might “change”, but we all know that that did not happen. So, friends we became.

He had a party not long after that. A couple of people from the station were invited and once we met his boyfriend K, it was no longer a mystery. K was awesome and I immediately liked him – which is odd, thinking about it now. Here was this guy, who was making out with, sleeping with and doing everything that I wanted to with Dave and I didn’t want to scratch his eyeballs out or pull out all of his hair. How big of me! Of course, there was LOTS of alcohol involved that night, but even so, I just thought K was the best. They of course had the cutest house, decorated very hip and they collected antiques. I OBVIOUSLY didn’t see all of this when I was there before the night of Lynn’s wedding – it’s impossible now, to ever think he was straight. No 25 year old STRAIGHT guy would have such a well put together house. Again, I was naïve and didn’t know any better. That night I met all the gays and the lesbian neighbors too – it was so fabulous.

I worked with Dave at the radio station for about 2-3 years – I had moved onto outside sales with the station and let me tell you – selling AIR TIME is the hardest thing in the world to sell. I gave it a year and then I quit, took a job about an hour away, completely out of radio. I would listen to Dave during his time slot on my drive home but we didn’t really stay in touch. I’d see him out and about, here and there but we actually lost touch for about 3-4 years.

I don’t know how or when it happened but I was at my current job (which was about 8 years ago) and Dave and I started hanging out and meeting up for drinks again. He had quit radio completely, which I really thought was sad, because he does have an awesome radio voice. We both had jobs now where we got to call the shots with the radio sales people. It was great.
Dave and I would meet every week at a restaurant/bar downtown after work for drinks/dinner or mostly drinks. This is when our fun REALLY began. Like for instance, did Dave and I get married to make our mothers happy? Did we go on separate honeymoons? Did Dave and I fight over the same guy(s)? Why didn’t Dave want me to meet our now infamous “Jerry?” Did Dave have a boyfriend that NOBODY liked? Were there man-capri’s involved? I guess you’ll just have to tune in for Part III!

Wacky Wednesday Wondering . . .

2008-12-03T11:56:00.000-05:00

Ok – so I’ve commented on my job here many, many times and it never ceases to amaze me at what people put on an employment application. I know that we live in a fast paced world and believe me, I’ve made my share of mistakes by either typing too fast or just plain, not re-reading what I’ve written and then had that “oh fuuuuuuuck moment once I hit “send” or “enter.”

Yes, I’ve been there, done that.

But, that won’t stop me from making fun of other people who do it as well. Like, for instance, this applicant who listed this as their job description:

Job Description: sales, was doing management as well

And then listed this as their reason for leaving:
Reason for Leaving: too long of hours

And where does my pretty little head take my dirty little mind?
To this thought:

Hmmm, too long of hours – “doing” management?

I can’t decide if I think this applicant is an idiot who doesn’t know how to properly fill out an employment application – or if I’m just jealous of my lack of “hours.”

Back to work . . .

Thank you thank you thank you day 7!

2008-11-26T11:36:00.003-05:00

Ok - here we are on day 7 of giving thanks.
Below is a message that I wish I could take credit for it - but I am not the author. Therefore, I am sharing because it has a nice message (and, I honestly, just can't come up with another 10 thankful posts.)

So, since there are 7 on this list, here's my contribution to make it 10:

1. I am thankful that my VP sent me this email.

2. I am thankful the day is 1/2 over.

3. I am thankful I live in a safe enough neighborhood that my door COULD be left open and
NOBODY came in and took anything. (another way of looking at that is: I live in such a
horrible 'hood, no one would even THINK of coming in b/c I probably don't have anything
worth stealing. 'EH, either way works for me.)

4. Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire, If you did, what would
there be to look forward to?

5. Be thankful when you don't know something. For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

6. Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

7. Be thankful for your limitations. Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

8. Be thankful for each new challenge. Because it will build your strength and character.

9. Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

10. Be thankful when you're tired and weary. Because it means you've made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks. GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.

Day 6 . . . I think I can I think I can . .

2008-11-25T22:13:00.002-05:00

Day 6 of Giving Thanks - who would have thunk this would have been so hard?? But, here's my daily 10.

1. I'm thankful that's it's day 6.
2. I'm thankful my girls from the OC are back on Bravo.
3. I'm thankful tomorrow is my last day of work (for the week!)
4. I'm thankful I'm finally home, it's been a long day.
5. I'm thankful my cold is mostly gone.
6. I'm thankful I get to wear jeans tomorrow at work - woo hoo! (it's day 6 people, I'm running out of things here!)
7. I'm thankful that my mom stopped over tonight to let the Daisy Dog out for me (but she left my door OPEN - not unlocked, OPEN! So that was a little scary!!)
8. I'm thankful NO INTRUDERS were in here because see this to find out what Daisy would have done.
9. I'm thankful for Fudgesicles (again) they are just so yummy!
10. I'm thankful for my comfy bed . . . here I come.

Beware! NO GUARD DOG lives here!

2008-11-25T11:13:00.004-05:00

You know that I love my pooch more than ANYTHING in the world right? And I think that she is the CUTEST and MOST ADOREABLE DOG OUT THERE. Well, she is, indeed the cutest dog, but I’m going to have to remove GUARD DOG from her resume’. You see, this morning, my wonderful sister-in-law dropped off a pie plate for me to use for the Apple Pie I’ll be attempting to bake for Thanksgiving. Martha Stewart I’m not, so this should be fun. That will be another post I’m SURE.

Anyhoodle – My sis-in-law gets to work before I even THINK about getting up in the morning so when she dropped off the pie plate I was all tucked in my bed with dreams of sugarplums dancing in my head. (Oh wait, wrong holiday.) But I WAS in bed dead to the world around me. And apparently, Daisy was too.

Now, this is the dog who will bark at the leaf that fell out of a tree 16 blocks away. Yet, when someone DRIVES IN MY DRIVEWAY (which my bedroom window looks out onto) and then they get out of the car and come into the back yard and leave something at the door, does she do ANYTHING? Um, that would be a big NOPE. Not even a low growl, not even a nudge to me as if to say ‘um, mom? Yeah, someone’s here, go check it out.” Nada. Zilch. Zip. Zero. NOTHING. Done. By. This Dog.

Now, at 7am, when I let her out for her morning potty, she did stand in the back yard and barked; AT NOTHING. So you see, that is why I must take Guard Dog off of her resume’. Hey, times are tough, and in this economy, if you’re not a performer, you gotta go.

I secretly think it’s her way at getting back at me – see I’ve officially had “dog walker” removed from my resume this week. I was doing so well with walking Miss Daisy dog (and I even got that Gentle Leader thingy to work on her!) but, then it got cold. REALLY. COLD. And then, I got sick. REALLY. SICK. And, then, well, I just didn’t feel like walking last night. So, maybe this is her way of letting me know that she will no longer perform her “doggie duties” until she is WALKED every night. Could there be a doggie union, such as the United Guard Dogs, that I’m unaware of? I better do my research and try some negotiating tonight before I have a nasty strike on my hands.

Seriously, this could get ugly, Christmas is right around the corner and I have holiday cards that need to get sent out and if she goes on strike – I can’t send an update to last years card:

Day 5 of Thanks . . . Almost Done

2008-11-24T16:28:00.001-05:00

Ok – so I’m soooooooooo thankful that It’s day 5 and only 2 more days to go of this thankfulness!!

This is gonna be short and maybe sweet – given that I’m running out of things to be thankful for.
1. I’m thankful that I only have 2 more days of this post!
2. I’m thankful that it’s a 3 day work week for me.
3. I’m thankful that I’m feeling better.
4. I’m thankful that I had a free gift certificate for lunch at Macaroni Grille today – yum!!
5. I’m thankful that it’s almost time to go home.
6. I’m thankful that my tooth no longer hurts.
7. I’m thankful that I don’t have a headache today.
8. I’m thankful that I didn’t have to wait in line for my free Turkey at work today.
9. I’m thankful that I have this many things to be thankful for. (I told you I was running out of things to be thankful for.)
10. I’m thankful for my pooch – again – and even though Dave says she’s fat – she’s NOT and she’s the bomb-diggity!

Day of Thanks #4 - It's all about ME!

2008-11-23T17:53:00.002-05:00

Ok - so I'm still feeling ICKY today and along with the ICK comes my selfishness. So today's post is going to be all about ME and the things that make ME happy.

So . . .
1. I'm thankful for my Tempurpedic bed - it is the COZIEST bed ever!
2. I'm thankful for the person who invented sugar-free Fudgesicles - best 40 calorie treat ever.
3. I'm thankful that the REAL HOUSEWIVES of ATLANTA show is OVER and my girls from the OC will be back next week.
4. I'm thankful the wonderful Steenky Bee - her blog keeps me in stitches!!
5. I'm thankful that CLUELESS was on TV today - I love this movie - AS IF!!
6. I'm thankful I only have a 3 day week this week. Woo-hoo!
7. I'm thankful for Diet Coke with Lime - it's the best!
8. I'm thankful that my nephew is ok after being knocked unconscious at his basketball game last week. Although he'll be out of play for about 4-8 weeks - he should be ok.
9. This one might make me unpopular by football fans - but I'm thankful the Browns lost today - the "ex" is a HUGE Browns fan and it secretly makes me happy EVERY TIME they lose.
10. I'm thankful that the NyQuil is starting to kick in... hopefully I'll sleep well again tonight and be on my way to better health.

Good Sunday night everyone!

Thanks - day 2 and 3 - better late than never . . .

2008-11-21T13:25:00.003-05:00

Well, I started to post my day 2 of thanks - yesterday - but got distracted (god, I hate when that happens at work - ha ha!) And then, well it was Friday and I went out for ONE drink which ended up being like 10. So, day 2 of thanks just didn't happen. So, here I am, 1 hour and 40 minutes left of day 3 and I'm sick (start violin music now please) and hopped up on NyQuil - so this will either be a VERY heartfelt and emotional post - or a very crazy post. So, lets get it started.

1. I'm thankful for my friend Dave - I have to give him a shout out because he felt "slighted" that I didn't call him out on my first post. But, in all seriousness - I am very thankful for him - he drives me INSANE most days - but he is a very good friend and I'm glad he's in my life.

2. I'm thankful I live so close to my brother - he was SUPER nice to come over today and help me move my NEW IKEA desk into my office today. (I wish he would have stayed to help me put it together -but I managed.)

3. I'm thankful for my FAVORITE store IKEA - for making such fun furniture - affordable!

4. I mentioned my family before - but I think I'll go int more detail here. I'm thankful for my Sister-in-law C. She is a great friend and an AWESOME cook and has graciously offered to host Turkey Day this year.

5. I'm thankful for my sister. We had a great relationship when I was younger then had a tough time - but we've grown closer recently and I hope that continues.

6. I'm thankful for my 2nd brother R. He's a mechanic by trade, and makes sure my car is always running AND, that I'm not getting the runaround by my dealer.

7. My sis-in-law K. She too is a good friend and is always there to help when I need it.

8. I'm thankful for the company I work for - every year they give us a free Turkey for Thanksgiving.

9. I'm thankful I had NyQuil in the house today - so I didn't have to leave and brave the FRIGID temperatures.

10. I'm thankful for my four car garage - why, you ask? Well, when I bought this house 10 years ago - I thought the guy who sold it to me was a nut-job for adding an ADDITIONAL 2 car garage onto a small house, and NOT adding a 2nd bathroom - but because of that extra garage - I'm able to rent it out every year and today I was able to re-carpet part of my house and office because of said garage. (Hey, I said I was hopped up on NyQuil!)

Day 3 - giving thanks.

1. I'm thankful for Gift Cards. Christmas shopping will be easy this year - 8 nephews and 1 niece all in their teens and early 20's - gift cards are a LIFESAVER!

2. I'm thankful for such a cooperative family - it's not even Thanksgiving and we've figured out what to buy for my IMPOSSIBLE TO BUY FOR mom and dad.

3. I'm thankful that that MICE ARE GONE from my house. (although I did see one in my garage the other night - but it's a detached garage and as long as he stays out there - I'm cool)

4. I'm thankful that Christmas is almost here. I'm actually looking forward to it this year (at least right now anyway.)

5. I'm thankful for my friend Jen C - she is AWESOME. Last week we went to a craft show and had so much fun that my face still hurts from all the laughing we did. She also bought me a very cool OSU pen and contributed to my SASSYSAK! AND THEN - took me to dinner for a belated birthday dinner! Jen - you ROCK!

6. I'm thankful for my friend Colleen - she is AWESOME too - and when Jen, Colleen and I get together it's always a Laugh fest!

7. I'm thankful that GAS PRICES have come down so low!! Isn't is AWESOME to pay $1.69/gallon vs. the $4/gallon this summer? Too bad the economy SUCKS right now.

8. I'm thankful the NyQuil is kicking in right now - I may be able to sleep tonight!

9. I'm thankful that although the economy is down - I am currently doing ok. I pray that it stays that way!

10. I'm thankful for all of YOU - my blog readers and friends - I LOVE love love having you here - I promise - I will try to stay on top of my blog!!

Phew! That was a tough list and I still have 55 minutes left of the day. Now, I have to think of another 10 things to be thankful for. This is MUCH harder than I thought when I signed up!

I'm giving Thanks!

2008-11-20T15:03:00.003-05:00

I was just over at DeeMarie's blog and she's got very nice post about being Thankful. The gist is - over the next 7 days (since that's when THANKSGIVING is) we should list 10 things/day that we're Thankful for. Given the state of the country right now, I think it's a nice idea to ponder all the things that we have in our lives.

So, with that said - here's my 10 for today:
1. I'm thankful for my parents - they irritate me on a daily basis sometimes - but nevertheless, I'm thankful for them and all they've given me.

2. I'm thankful that tomorrow is FRIDAY!

3. I'm thankful that I have dental insurance since I just paid about $300 to have a tooth filled today (well, because I've USED UP ALL MY INSURANCE for this year - but thankful I'm only out $300 instead of the $4K that's been done to my teeth thus far.) Good teeth are IMPORTANT and I intend to keep mind at whatever cost.

4. I'm thankful I have the best pooch in the world.

5. I'm thankful for my BFF - without her - I think I'd die!

6. I'm thankful for ALL of my friends - without you guys I'd be so sad.

7. I'm thankful for my blogger friends - maybe someday we'll meet, maybe not - but it's fun to hear about your world on a daily basis.

8. I'm thankful I have a job - and a good one at that. I may not like it all the time, but I have one and for that I am THANKFUL.

9. I'm thankful I own a house and because of said job, I can make my payments and not worry about foreclosure.

1o. I'm thankful for my family. The same holds true for them as with my parents - they may irritate me to no end some days - but I have great brothers and a sister and 9 nephews, one niece and even great niece's and nephew. I'm thankful for each and every one of them.

There you have it. If you'd like to join the thankful list - leave it here and I'll link you or you can pop on over to DeeMarie's page.

And I'd like to thank the Academy . . .

2008-11-19T15:59:00.003-05:00

And my fellow blogger MISS JACK for this AWESOMESAUCE award.

As the great Sally Fields once said: "You Like me! You REALLY REALLY Like me!"

Thanks Miss Jack - you made my day, well, AWESOMESAUCE!!

I like them (most) ALL! But this is probably my favorite:

2008-11-19T15:41:00.009-05:00

Ok - so this weeks Spin Cycle assignment is to go back and pick our "favorite" post. Well, since I'm still a blog virgin (hey, it's been a LONG time since I was a virgin ANYTHING - so let me enjoy this) I don't have many posts to choose from. Especially since I can't seem to get a post out there to save my life these days!

So, as I perused through my past posts (nice alliteration if I do say so myself) I came up with this one as my fave. And maybe, if I can remember, I'll even post "Part Deux!"

Enjoy!

I have this friend, my friend Dave . . .I met Dave about 10 years ago at a bar, of all places. (Imagine THAT for those who know me.) He was a DJ at the local radio station and on Thursdays or Fridays – who remembers, he also DJ’d at said bar. I was in college and went out every Thursday-Sunday night. (What? I graduated.) OK, 7 years later. But still. Shut up! I changed my major – A LOT.

Back then (and remember I drank 4 days out of 7) I thought he looked like Joey from Friends. I don't think so any more, but back then I did. Sue me. It was also more than 10 years ago and even Joey doesn't look like Joey any more. Plus, he (Dave, not Joey) needs to dye his hair. (Yes you do. I don’t care what your hairdresser says.)

Anyway, I thought he was way cute (you know I did and I just can’t wait to hear your comments David about this little bit of info) This had a lot to do with WHY I went to that bar every weekend. That, and the fact that the bouncer was a former boyfriend (friend with benefits, really, and he was HOT) so I figured my odds of hooking up, one way or another, were good. It seemed that Dave was always there with this girl, I'll call her Sue, who was another DJ from the station. I figured she was a girlfriend or worse, not YET his girlfriend and my competition.Long story short (mainly because I can’t remember the details) I ended up getting to know him and eventually got a job at the station on the office side. Of course I did, that bitch, I mean Sue, (no I don’t) wasn’t going to see him every day when I only got one night a week at a bar. (I’m not competitive so much as I’m jealous. Did I mention that my mom put me in pre-school 2 years in a row so I could learn how to share? Complete waste of money. Sorry mom.)

Fast forward to my FIRST day at the station. All is going well and I make sure that Dave knows I'm there by stopping by the studio to tell him so. He, of course, made fun of me in front of his intern (you did) so I go back to my desk and I'm all "what a jerk." Later that afternoon, the power goes out. I remember this particular detail because this is when I find out that he would NEVER, EVER be my boyfriend.

We were all gathered in the front lobby of the station because that’s where the only outside light was and Dave was there too since he couldn’t do his show. It was a Monday and everyone was talking about their weekends and someone noticed that he had a ring on his left hand ring finger. Being one of the only single guys at the station, all of us girls noticed this. Especially me since I took a freaking job at a radio station in order to make him mine (“I will hug him and squeeze him and call him George.” -Daffy Duck/Abominable Snowman reference for those of you that don't watch cartoons.) Anyway, Dave proceeds to tell all of us that he got MARRIED over the weekend. This is not only HUGE news (umm hello? I took a job at a radio station!!) but I found out that first day, half of the station thought he was gay and the other half really didn’t care (this was the older, uglier and married half.)I soon found out that Dave is notorious for lying and making up stories (just wait until you hear the DOOZIE we have going on right now- stay tuned), so the whole “I got married over the weekend was a complete lie. (At this point, there's still hope for boyfriend/girlfriend status BUT that means I can't quit this job just yet.) Over the next several weeks at the station, we became fast friends and I actually liked my job. C'mon, I was in college and I worked at a place where I got free CD's/concert tickets and occasionally met a famous singer. (OK Richard Marx was the only "famous" person and I TOTALLY thought he was my new intern that morning - maybe he'll make a comeback.)

A couple months into this gig, another DJ at the station, Lynn, was getting married and had invited me to the wedding and reception and you bet your ass I was there!! Too bad Sue had to work that night and couldn’t go to the reception. (Pre-school? I’m still there.) At the reception I sat (drank) with Amy, another DJ at the station and some other station people. Amy was super cool and gave me the scoop on everyone at the station. After the reception, we continued the party at another bar. There was dancing, drinking and still wondering whether or not Dave was single and hetero or homo sexual. Even Amy, who was married, was curious which was disappointing to me because I was hoping she’d have the inside scoop since she worked with him.The "after reception" activities proved fruitless (no pun intended) to answering the burning question, ‘was he or wasn’t he?’

After the wedding – we (I think the bride came too, but I can't be sure) head to a gay bar. (He’s gay.)

Dave introduces us to his "brother Mark" – who we thought was his boyfriend. (Not gay.)

Dave invites me and Amy back to his house. (Not gay)

"Brother" Mark is also invited and so is some guy named Michael (WTF?)

Mark drives me and Amy to Dave’s house and keeps looking at me funny when I refer to him as Dave's brother. (Dave likes to make up stories remember?)

I try to study for a statistics test that I forgot I have in the morning but fall asleep in Dave’s spare room. THIS, right here, is my life. I spend the night at his house – which should have been a victory – but fall asleep! (That test in the morning, also explains why I spent 7 years in college and am not a Dr.)

So, on Monday, I’m was just as confused as I was before the wedding but, Sue was so completely jealous that she missed out on all of it that it secretly makes me happy. (It's ok, hate the player, - but, I won.)Stay tuned for part deux (yes, I LOVE THE 80’S)

I had a post . . .really I did . . .

2008-11-19T09:27:00.001-05:00

And now? I can't remember it. Seriously people - I think I'm coming down the CRS disease -(Can't remember shinola). I was backing out of my driveway this morning, trying very hard not to hit anything - like the garbage can, or worse - the house. (mental note: the next house I have will have an ATTACHED GARAGE and a BIGGER DRIVEWAY - not just one lane. - things I didn't pay attention to when I was buying this damn house) Anyway, I was backing out and I had the funniest thing to write about and I was like "oh, as soon as I get to work - I'll jot that down so I can post it." Do you think I can remember it now? NOPE!! I'm sooooooo mad!! This happens ALL THE TIME lately.

Seriously - I'll be upstairs in my room and realize that I need something downstairs - I go downstairs and by the time I get down there, I've forgotten what I came down for!! So there I am - usually staring at Daisy somehow hoping that she will one day just be able to talk and say "listen you dumbass, you came down here for _______ oh, and since we're down here, can I have a cookie?"

So, I guess since I can't remember my post - I'll get back to work - even though I don't want to, and even though I have a ton of resumes to get through, 2 meetings back to back and who knows what else - because you KNOW I've forgotten already!!

Have a great day everyone - and if I remember that FUNNY post I had in my tiny little brain this morning - I'll be sure to write it immediately!!

I'm here . . . really I am . . .

2008-11-14T10:06:00.011-05:00

It's just that for ONCE in my life - I have nothing to say, er write, about. I know - for those of you that know me IRL - you're thinking - pffftt! Shopgirl has NOTHING to say? You were BORN talking. Actually, I wasn't - I had to take a special speech class when I was younger because I wouldn't talk and when I did, I couldn't quite sound out my s's and th's and f's.

Hmmm.. my favorite words now: Shit, Fuck and Motherfucker. Classy. I know you wish you were more like me. And Mom? Kudos on spending dad's money so wisely.

Anyway - I am here - and I'm reading all of your blogs - but as you guessed it, not commenting - because for some reason - I just can't get the words onto the blog post. Even Dave sent me a text yesterday asking me to post SOMETHING, ANYTHING. Well, here it is - it's not my finest post and actually - it's not really a post - just an explanation as to where I've been and what I've been up to.

So, since my last post a week ago I have and will:

1. Read all of your blogs - and DID post on some - for those that I didn't again - my apologies but I'm still reading!

2. Read the book Twilight - umm, if you would have asked me if I'd EVER read a book about Vampires (and a young adult book) I'd have answered in my best Cher voice from Clueless "as if!"

3. Slept, slept and slept - that was pretty much my weekend recap - major depression - I HATE this time of year.

4. Started my new meds to take care of #3 and this time, Dave, I promise to take them everyday. I even got one of those fancy smancy day of the week pill boxes.

5. Was a good daughter and painted my mom and dad's bathroom over the weekend.

6. Chased the great HOUDINI, Daisy Dog all over the neighborhood because I bought The Gentle Leader in hopes that it would stop her from pulling me all over the place when we go for our walks.

7. Return said Gentle Leader to PetSmart THIS weekend.

8. Will write a letter to GL asking for disclaimer to be put on box stating that their product DOES NOT WORK on this dog.

9. Begin reading New Moon - Can't. Believe. I'm reading. A book. About Vampires. But it's sooooo good and I'm sure I'll have to see the movie now too.

10. Heading to craft show with the girls to buy this bag, this bag or maybe this bag.

Shut up now, Dave! - this is TOTALLY with-in my budget! I have been saving my change (seriously I have) since this summer and have enough money in quarters and nickels to buy ONE bag. (And maybe an accessory or two.)

Hey - someone's got to keep the economy moving right?

So - I guess for not having much to say - I really did. I promise to get back on track and start posting more interesting stories soon. I'm sure I'll have some good girl gossip after this weekend!

Have a great weekend my fellow bloggers!

Do you remember . . .

2008-11-07T16:19:00.003-05:00

When MTV was just that, MUSIC Televison? Don't get me wrong - I love, love love the Real World - was sooooooooooo in love with Eric from the first Real World - when they were ACTUALLY REAL.

My buddy DeeMarie has me working on this HORRIBLE HORRIBLE project (I kid, only) at work so while I'm data entering (such a good use of my mad recruiting skillz I tell you) I'm listening to my iPod (which I pronounce "ip-id", why? because.) Anyway, the MTV theme song from the 90's came on (I don't know why - but I have it) and it just made me think about how cool MTV used to be. Before the Hills, Real World, Road Rules and even VH1 - which is really my generations MTV.

Of course, this lead me to search the World Wid Web in hopes to actually find a sound bite of the theme song (since I can't figure out how to copy it from my iTunes and paste it into my blog) Of course, doing that - pasting it into my blog is probably illegal and infringes on some copyright - but really? Who would complain about the Club MTV Theme Song being copied onto my blog for all 5 of you (FABULOUS 5 at that) to listen? If you know how I can get it on here - well, email me and I'll take the risk!

Anyway - listening to it took me back, WAAAAAAAAAAAAY back. Like to the days of my MC Hammer pants and my Bobby Brown (pre-Whitney) black patent shoes. I was so cool it just makes me want to CRY thinking about how "cool" I was. Don't believe me? I had my SENIOR picture taken in those MC HAMMER pants - yep, mom was soooooooo proud of me. And the background? Hot Pink and Electric Blue neon lights - stop your jealousy right now, you can never, ever be as cool as me. I am sorry.

Can I also tell you that I pegged the legs of my jeans so tight it's a wonder my ankles are still attached? Yes, I was so hip with the fashion trends. Ok, so I know you all pegged your jeans
while wearing your Banana Clip in your spiral permed hair that you "froze" in place with your Paul Mitchel Freeze n Shine spray.

C'mon - take a trip down memory lane with me - send pictures if you have 'em!

MOUSER UPDATE

2008-11-03T09:16:00.005-05:00

Good Monday morning my fellow bloggers! Never in my life would I have thought I'd utter these words, but I'm actually glad (well, kinda) it's Monday. This past weekend was, eh, not the greatest (not the worst either) but I'm so glad it's over non-the-less. And to top it off (of course, it's a Monday) I have another MIGRAINE headache. I would have stayed home today but believe it or not, laying down makes it worse - so here I am . . .

A few of you have asked me about my mouse situation - and I'm happy to announce (knock on wood) that I think I have gotten rid of the mousers. I've still got traps set because last night, I had the most WICKED ~~dream~~ nightmare about mice in the house. In my dream my house was INFESTED with mice!! YOWZERS!!! It was horrible! I had all these traps set and as soon as I put them down on the floor - a mouse would get caught but NOT DIE!! No wonder I woke up this morning with another MOTHER OF A MIGRAINE!!

So, say a prayer for me, and let's hope that this nightmare was just that, a bad dream and that the mousers are gone for good at shopgirl's house!!

I'll be back to my regular posting self later this week once I kick this migraine to the curb. Have a great Monday . . .

So far . . .

2008-10-29T09:08:00.002-04:00

No more Mousers!! Yeah!! Although, last night I was rummaging in my basement for a "craft/project" to work on (I finally scrapbooked Dave) and discovered all kinds of mouse evidence. Let's HOPE that it's all old evidence.

A better post will follow later - Just wanted to update on the Mickey situation!!

Four. And please, God let there be no more!

2008-10-27T22:22:00.003-04:00

Ok - so as I was sitting in my office - writing my comments to my peeps who commented on my previous post - #4 mouse was hiding IN. HERE. WITH. ME!!!

"How do you know this Shopgirl?" you may be wondering.

"Because, I went downstairs to the kitchen to pack my lunch for work tomorrow." (see Dave - I AM budgeting) (who am I kidding - I went down for a snack, felt guilty for eating, and packed a lunch to save face.)

Anyway . . .

While I was gone - #4 met his/her fate with the trap! I now have a routine of checking the traps EVERYTiME I walk by one. So, when I came back in my office - I just glanced over - expecting to see an empty (but still loaded with PB) trap - and to my horror there was #4.

OK - HP - he/she was tiny and I did feel a little bit sad for him/her but I snapped back to reality. He/she is a dirty rodent and must die. From the looks of it (ick) it was swift.

Please Dear Lord Baby Jesus.... let this be the last of them.

Out, damn'd Mouse!

2008-10-27T15:17:00.002-04:00

Update: as of last week – I had caught 3 mice (well, the traps did) and I disposed of them (trap and all – as IF I would keep the trap). So I thought I was DONE. I mean, I hadn’t seen any more mouse droppings and the traps still had peanut butter – so at least I didn’t have a “smart mouse” that was able to get the PB without getting his little head snapped in the trap. All is good right?

Wrong! Oh. So. Wrong.

I was doing ok (ok, so not really –but I’ve had mice before and even back when I lived with my parents in their NICE house we would have a mouse or two every year.) But that was when my DAD would handle all of that – he’d set the traps and dispose of the carcass. Now, it’s up to ME. And, really? A girl should NOT have to do this kind of thing. Back in my college days, I was all “I am woman, hear me roar!” but these days and in cases of mice in the house? Not so much. I want a MAN (hot of course) to take care of this stuff. Killing spiders too – eck – definitely a boys job. Ok, sorry I drifted – back to my story.

So this past Saturday night I’m in my office – UPSTAIRS – next to my BEDROOM and I SWEAR I saw something move across the baseboard. Now, normally I’d be all like “I’m tired – it was nothing.” Not now. I KNOW it was the FOURTH mouse. And he’s UPSTAIRS next to my BEDROOM!! (yes, I know I repeated myself – it’s worth repeating) HE’S a TAD to close for me!! So, I march DOWNSTAIRS and check the trap I have set up – it’s still loaded with PB so it’s not like he’s gotten the bait – he’s just RELOCATED himself to a warmer part of the house.

Well, since my BEDROOM is right next door there is NO WAY I’m letting this RODENT live just one more minute in my house. I know that Mickey and the mice from Cinderella were all cute and fluffy - but this is a RODENT and he MUST DIE (and any/all members of his family). He is getting NO WHERE NEAR MY BEDROOM – at least not while I’m there. I have a hard and fast rule about not sharing my bed with anyone who doesn’t ‘BRING A BIG SMILE TO MY FACE’ and there “ain’t no way this creature is gonna do that” so he must go.

So last night I went to bed – traps set and hoped (even though it’s not the way I wanted to start a Monday morning) that I would have DEAD mouse this am to deal with.

Wrong. So. Effing. Wrong.

I have another smart mouse and he was able to get the PB off the trap – and probably feed his effing family of 100! GOD HELP ME!!

This morning I re-set the traps with the PB spread so thin and close to the trip of the trap grabbed my things and got the hell out of there.

If he’s not dead when I come home – I’m moving.

The Best Therapy ever . . .

2008-10-24T12:17:00.008-04:00

And it only cost me $100, from Petfinder (if you or anyone you know is considering getting a dog - check out Petfinder or your local shelters- the best dogs are right there waiting for their forever homes!)

Ok - off my soap box for homeless pooches - but seriously, they are my passion - so please, help your local shelters.

Ok - really, I'm done now. Here's tonight's blog:

We all know HOW MUCH I LOVE MY DOG right? (No? See this, this and this)

Well, take a look at what she let me do to her last night. I was having such a crummy week - and after crying myself to sleep the past couple of nights, I just needed a good laugh and my palio came to my rescue. I LOVE THIS DOG.

Tricky trickster . . .

2008-10-22T16:26:00.001-04:00

So – now that I’m back to my blogging self – I see that there’s a new Spin Cycle for the Tricksters!

I sooooooooo loves to play tricks on other people and do not fancy them being played on me. Nope – I do not play well in the sand box. Just ask my mom – she knew this right away and sent me to pre-school twice so I would learn to play nice – mom, you should get your money back.

But this post isn’t about ME (yeah right) it’s about a trick that I played, right? Well, I’ve played many in my day and hope to play many many more – but I have to say one of my favorite tricks happened about 8 years ago.

A group of friends and I went on a Caribbean cruise. There were about 10 of us on this cruise. It was me, my boyfriend Don (who we called Wally – I don’t know why – it was a high school nickname that stuck I guess) so it was me and Wally, my friend Robin and her boyfriend Mike, Lisa and Rich, Tracey and Ben and Tracey’s parents. So, we’re all excited the day of the cruise and we met at Robin/Mike’s house – had our Pre-cruise picture taken before Rob’s dad took us to the airport. (Yes, we were too cheap to drive ourselves and park our cars for 10 days).

We get to the airport, check in and make it to our seats on the plane (not anywhere near each other.) We take off, all is well and the flight attendant (male and VERY GAY) comes by and notices my cruise information and tries to play a trick on ME by telling me that the captain just “got a call from the ship/port and was told that the cruise had been canceled due to bad weather.” Pffftt!! I mock him to his face. “Nice try, I was born at night but not last night. Move along my friend.” Wally and I just laughed it off – but when the flight attendant came back our way, I told him that I didn’t buy his story but I knew someone that WOULD, my then BFF Robin who was also named “Most Gullible” in HS.

So, I told him where she was sitting, what she looked like and so on and off he went. Now, Robin and Mike were sitting in the very back of the plane and Wally and I were almost in the front. We waited for the flight attendant to come back and give us her reaction – but we didn’t need to because we heard – above the noise of the plane – “you’ve gotta be shitting me!!”
Side note: I’m honestly tearing up laughing as I write this, because Robins’ voice is a high pitched squeal, and she’s just as loud or LOUDER than me – so this was HUH-STER-ICAL – (hysterical for those of you that don’t speak hyphenation.)

So, the FA comes back to our seats and says to me (almost panicking) “she bought it.” Wally and I could barely contain ourselves. The FA wanted to go back and tell her it was just a joke but I said ABSOLUTELY NOT. So, we let Mike and Robin think that our cruise had been canceled. I mean, come on, WHO would believe that the GD shipping/port/cruise would RADIO to a plane in the sky that the trip was cancelled??? My friend Robin and her now husband Mike – that’s who.

So, about two hours later, we’re just about to land and the FA tells me that he’s going to let Robin in on the joke. Again, we wait for him to come back and tell us her reaction and AGAIN, we don’t have to. “JILL!!!!!!! Oh my God! I’m going to kill you!!” Again, Wally and I nearly wet ourselves from all of this. She (Robin) is so EASY to get!!

Little did we know that not only was Robin the MOST GULLIBLE on this plane ride. Nearly half of the plane heard this joke and I guess that’s ALL they talked about for the ride down!! Honestly, it was a big plane and not a short bus that we were on.

Needless to say, Robin and half the plane and cruisers were not exactly happy with me and Wally. Our FA, however, thoroughly enjoyed the plane ride - as Wally and I had several cocktails on his behalf. He couldn’t believe how everyone fell for it.

Everyone got over it- and we had a great cruise – although Wally and I were very well known all week long as the “pranksters.”

Just an afternoon giggle . . .

2008-10-22T14:44:00.004-04:00

We all know that I love and hate my job. Well, right now I love my job - because of this candidate who shall remain nameless. This candidate works at the the Loaf N' Jug (I don't even know what that is - and I can't call to find out because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to contain myself), AND they are the recipient of the Store Image Award.

Bravo!

Therapy or prescription drugs may be needed. . .

2008-10-22T13:00:00.004-04:00

Things that are my mind today:

Its fall outside- but I feel like I’m in the middle of a January-February DEEP depression. I usually like fall – the colors, the brisk air (since I’m not a fan of the hot/humid days) but this week has been a rough one and it’s only Wednesday.

First off, I discovered I have a mouse (which means MICE) in my house. I have traps all over the place since I found evidence in EVERY nook and cranny in my house. I had suspected I had a mouse, because a couple weeks ago, I was watching a movie and I SWORE I saw something scurry from the chair to behind the TV stand, but I was like “ok, my mind is playing tricks on me” but since I found “evidence” (mouse poop – nice) I know it’s not all in my head (for once).
UPDATE: as of last night, I’ve caught 2.

This is also adds to my depression – because, being a SINGLE gal, I have to take care of the dead mouse. Daisy just stands BEHIND me as I use the broom to try to get the mouse and trap into a trash can. THIS IS THE GROSSEST (is that a word? – anyway) THING TO HAVE TO DO EVER. AND I REALLY NEED/WANT A MAN IN MY LIFE. (Insert sad violin music here)

Another reason I’m hating life right now is the WEATHER – Like I said, I usually like fall – but last week (well, I was in Florida) so the week before THAT it was soooooo nice here – like upper 70’s and I think 80’s one day and it’s OCTOBER!! So, I was all happy tooling around town in my convertible bug just enjoying birthday month. This past weekend was also BEAUTIFUL – but this Monday? Um, hello WINTER!! It’s like 40 degrees outside! It’s sunny today – so that helps, but it’s COLD!! I think I have that Seasonal Depression thing. (Or I’m just a whiner – either way)

It’s also getting darker earlier around here, so Daisy and I have to take our after work walks in the dark. Man, I’m seriously bumming myself out just writing this blog. If you’re still with me and haven’t wanted to blow your brains out by now – GOD LOVE YA!

On a somewhat happier note, my trip to Florida last week was fun, even though I had to travel on my birthday. My co-worker was really nice and bought me a card for her and the others on the trip to sign. We also went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory (how could THIS not make me happy?) where she bought me a Bikini Martini – hey, I was in Florida and since I can’t WEAR a bikini – I’ll drink one!! It was quite tasty –but since I was with work people – I only had one – had I been with my pal Jerry or Dave – I would have had the whole collection of Bikinis!!

Much to my dismay, my co-worker took it upon herself to notify the staff at CF that it was indeed my birthday so after the meal I was serenaded by the entire CF staff. Ok, for those that know me, you’d think I’d like all this attention, but I really, really DO NOT like it one little bit. But, I smiled and thanked everyone, blew out the candle and ate a bite of the vanilla ice-cream that they gave me. That’s right!! I’m at the CHEESECAKE FACTORY and they brought me a small scoop of VANILLA (ewwww) ICE CREAM with a candle in it!! Ummmm again, Hello? It’s the CHEESECAKE FACTORY where there are like 100 kinds of CHEESECAKE and I got vanilla (again, ew) ice cream. Nice.

So, of course, we ordered CHEESECAKE. I can’t even remember what we ordered – there were 5 of us there and we ordered 2 different kinds to share – it was DELISH.

The rest of the week in Florida was pretty boring – I was there for a seminar: It’s a Matter of Respect – an HR training program that we had to deliver to our managers in two different Florida districts. We presented it twice for two days. I’m so RESPECTED out that I could just die. Hmmmm… maybe the reason for my piss-poor mood this week? Perhaps.

For those of you that are still with me after this moody post (thank you!) I will end it with a funny story. On our last night in Florida, we had dinner at the Bubba Gump Shrimp restaurant. “Run Forest, Run!” It was nice (food was good – not great but not bad either) but it WAS right on the OCEAN – and it was a full moon that night – so it was very cool to see all the white caps roll into the shore. Our waiter was pretty cool and during dinner he played a little “trivia” with us –but we didn’t win anything. (I didn’t think of that until just now – what mean trick!)

Anyway – he asked if we’ve seen the movie “Forest Gump” and we have and I have like 1000 times. Ummm hello Time Warner? You play Forest Gump EVERY weekend on USA or TNT.

Well, Dave and I have a favorite part in this movie – it’s where Forest’s mom convinces the principal to let her son go to the public school. Forest is sitting on the porch of Mama’s house and hears his mother “convincing” the principal. When the principal comes out he looks and Forest and says “boy, your mother sure does care about your education.” To which Forest replies “ehh ehhh ehh ehh!!” Dave and I ALWAYS say this to each other – if he’s asking about my sexcapades or I’m inquiring about his – we have to do this to one another. So, of course our waiter asks us this one question – and he says before asking it “no one ever gets this one” – then of course, I GOT IT – AND RECITED IT JUST AS FOREST DOES. Yep, I paid attention during the “matter of respect” training. Money well spent by my employer. I’m sure my manager (who was there) was SO proud.

Ha! – just thinking about that line from F.G. I’m cracking myself up! I’m back!! Actually, it was the COACH purse I bought myself (and shouldn't have, I know Dave) for my birthday!! I'll stop shopping NEXT month!!

PS - I'll post pictures from FL later - I don't have my card reader with me ; (

Just another Manic Monday . . .

2008-10-20T22:36:00.004-04:00

I hate Mondays . . . and pretty much everything else right now. . . . Thank God there is only an hour an a half left of this miserable effing day...

hopefully tomorrow will be better . . . ta ta for now - going to bed . . .

Photo Tag!

2008-10-12T20:45:00.007-04:00

I was just tagged by my friend, DeeMarie to do this picture meme.

This picture was taken about 3 years ago when I went to a Cleveland Indians game. Before we headed to Jacobs Field (that's what it was called back then) we were at the Winking Lizard and Zydrunas Ilgauskas was there with some of his buddies having beers and shots. Zydrunas is like 7 feet tall. I look like a freaking munchkin next to him!!! Also - I should NEVER wear tank tops - ever.

Ok - so here's how it works:

Game Rules: Pick the 4th file, 4th picture from your folder of photos and post it, sharing the story behind the photo.Pick 4 people to tag and share the love.

I'm sharing with:

Miss Jack

Supervised Mama

And, well - that's all for now -because I've tagged everyone else on my list of blogs (or they've been tagged already.) and I don't want to offend anyone!!

Enjoy!

I'm it . . . You're it!

2008-10-12T20:12:00.004-04:00

The rules: Each player answers the question themselves. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment letting them know that they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person that tagged you know when you’ve answered the questions on your blog.

10 years ago I was:
1. 27 years old
2. Getting my feet wet as a recruiter
3. In 3 weddings in one year!
4. Living with my parents
5. Wishing I was dating ANYONE

5 things on today’s to-do list:
1. Pack for my trip to Florida tomorrow.
2. Finish my laundry
3. Walk the dog
4. Catch up on blog posts and comments
5. Buy toilet paper and dog treats

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Fudgesicles (sp)
2. Pringles
3. Double Stuf Oreos
4. Short bread cookies
5. Peanut butter bars

5 things I would do if I were a millionaire: (I’m changing this to be Billionaire)
1. Donate MILLIONS to the Humane Society.
2. LOTS O' PLASTIC SURGERY - OR FAT CAMP
3. Donate more to my church
4. Pay off all of my friends debts
5. Buy an AWESOME beach house!

5 places I have lived:
1. Akron, OH
2. Kappa House - Akron, OH
3. Mom and Dad's house - Akron, OH
4. My house - Akron, OH
5. College Apartment, Akron, OH

5 jobs I have had:
1. Mascot for radio station
2. Lifeguard - Best TAN ever!!
3. Radio Sales associate
4. Assistant Manager - Paul Harris
5. Paper Girl

Rules are rules. So I’m tagging: Spriteskeeper; Swishy; Beth; DeeMarie

I carried a watermelon . . .

2008-10-09T13:38:00.004-04:00

Do you remember the movie Dirty Dancing? Of course you do - OMG - who DIDN'T swoon over Patrick Swayze and wish she could dance with Johnny? Remember the scene where Baby and Johnny meet for the first time and she says "I carried a watermelon?" She was horrified - I carried a watermelon? What kind of line is that?? Well, I can relate to Baby.

I was just at the gas station filling up and this TOTALLY GORGEOUS guy noticed that I was not only filling up my car but I was also filling up extra gas cans. (In our area - our local grocery store gives .10 off a gallon of gas for every $50 we spend in their store. I had a total of $2 off a gallon of gas and since gas is $2.97 right now - I figured I'd fill up the car AND the extra cans - because, well, I'm cheap) So, TOTALLY GORGEOUS GUY (TGG) notices me filling up and says, something like 'you must have like a $1.00 off a gallon - eh?' I tell him that I have $2 off and he replies, "get outta here!" in a very Brooklyn - Joeyesque way. Which, by the way, makes me want him even more.

So what is my BIG COME BACK? "uh huh, $2 off." I'm not kidding - that's ALL I said! Oh, no, wait - I did tell him to "have a nice day" as I got in my car and drove off. Without his number or giving him mine.

I'm telling you - this guy was HOT HOT HOT and he initiated conversation with me and what do I do? Wish him a nice effing day... How about when he said 'get outta here' I should have said: 'OK, your place or mine? Or, "it's birthday month - want to be my present and um future??" No, I wish him a nice ding dong day!!!

I carried a watermelon indeed.
I'm going to be single for the rest of my life . . .

All Fired Up . . .

2008-10-07T16:59:00.000-04:00

Here’s my SPIN to the CYCLE – this is fun one as I’m NEVER at a loss for things that make me crazy mad! This was actually fun - and I think I could go on and on and on –but I stopped myself before I got all fired up. Here goes:

Things that get me FIRED UP: (and not in a good way)

1. Waiting in lines – ANY line – grocery store, bank, fast food – you name it, I’ve picked the shortest, yet SLOWEST MOVING line there is.

2. Not getting a “hello” or “thank you” after waiting in said line and purchasing something.

3. “Customer service” reps that cannot speak ENGLISH. Please, if I can’t understand you, then how can you be of ANY service to me??

4. People who drive in the passing lane at or below the posted limit. It is the PASSING lane you morons!

5. People who get offended after you’ve passed them on the highway. Seriously, this is NOT a pissing contest – I’m probably running late and you’re in my way – if you want to drive in front of me – you better be cruising at 70 mph or MORE - or I’m GOING to pass you. (while putting my make up on)

6. Idiots who are mean to animals. There is a special place in HELL for these jerks I’m sure of it.

7. Ungrateful people.

8. Ignorance – it is NOT bliss.

9. The $700 Billion Bail out plan. I also don’t want a political blog on my hands – but seriously, we’re bailing out BILLIONAIRES and the common folk like me – who owe maybe $10,000 in credit card/student loan debt – can’t get an effing break.

10. $29 - now $39 OVER THE LIMIT fees. WTF?? If there’s a LIMIT – how come the credit card company allows you to go over it??

11. ATM fees to get MY money...

12. This is new – one of my FAVORITE store credit cards just changed their rules about paying their bill. If I want to pay the bill ON THE DAY IT’S DUE – it will cost me an ADDITIONAL $10. Again, WTF??

13. My iPod. Ok – Apple? You’ve got bad fruit. I paid $250 for my 30 gig iPod and I’ve had to replace it 3 times. Good thing I bought the $60 warranty.

I am not a Doctor . . .

2008-10-07T16:22:00.000-04:00

I think I’m going to DIE. (Well, not really, but it sure feels like it.) I have a MOTHER of a MIGRAINE headache today.

It all started yesterday. I can’t believe I’m about to say this – but I’m glad it’s just a headache and not the cold I was SURE I was going to catch from a co-worker (you know who you are – ha ha) that I was trapped in a meeting room with no fresh air circulating for 2 hours yesterday. If there’s anything I hate more than a headache it’s a MISERABLE COLD!! And from the looks of my co-worker yesterday afternoon during our meeting, (seriously sister, that’s what SICK days are for!!) it looked awful. I did feel bad for her – BUT, being the hypochondriac that I am, I IMMEDIATELY started to feel all achy and developed this Migraine.

I was totally prepared (and am still waiting) to wake up sniffling and coughing this morning. It won’t happen – not until Sunday night because Monday morning I leave for Florida for work. THAT’s when I’ll get it. Good times, I can’t wait.

So back to my Migraine and the fact that I’m not a Doctor. I’ve been popping my Migraine medicine all damn day and it is sooooooooooooo not working. I’d go home, but as soon as I walk in my door, my PRECIOUS POOCH will knock me over and bug the ever living daylights out of me because I’m not taking her for a walk. So, I’ll just stay at work and try to get something done – like this blog. (Hey, the smokers get to take 5-10 “smoke breaks” a day – this is MY smoke break and I type fast.)

So I’ve tried my migraine meds – not working.
I’ve tried regular Ibuprofen - 3 at a time – not working.
I’ve tried REGULAR Pepsi – instead of Diet – not working.
Water instead of caffeine? NOPE.

Well, I just got back from lunch – where I decided to medicate with FOOD. It’s the answer for everything else in my life, why not a headache?

I went to Panera Bread and had myself half of a Grilled Chicken Panini with Black Bean soup AND a shortbread cookie.

Now I have a headache AND I need to unbutton my pants if I want to sit down for the rest of the day . . . I am not a Doctor!

My Hero

2008-10-01T14:30:00.001-04:00

So - while perusing the web today - I came across a discussion/contest that asked the question: Who is your role model/hero? I've never really given it much thought - I didn't grow up with any ONE person in my life that made me who I am today - what I'm trying to say is - I was blessed to have MANY MORE than one. My mom and dad - who sacrificed and gave a LOT to me and my brothers and sister. We may have WANTED for more but we never NEEDED more. My grandparents on my moms side - my other grandparents had passed before I was born. My older brothers and sister and their wives and husband - all helped mold and shape me to be the person I am today.

But there is one person in my family who I truly admire and am so lucky to still have her around. My Great Aunt Ruth. Aunt Ruth just turned 96 this past August and, I guess, she's always been someone I just thought was "cool."

A couple of years back we were at a family wedding and I didn't feel much like dancing, I was in a depressed mood at the time and feeling sorry for my(fat)self. My cousin Janet, Aunt Ruth's daughter, told me the story of how Aunt Ruth met her husband. Now, keep in mind, Ruth is about 5 feet tall and was slim/slender her whole life - just an iddy biddy thing. She was polished and ALWAYS put together - WELL. Never without makeup/lipstick and a fresh manicure. She was the Jackie O in our family.

Well, Aunt Ruth met my Uncle and her Mr. Right one night while dancing - on a table! (and I'm pretty sure it was a prohibition party at that too - but I could be making that up.) She didn't let her inhibitions get the best of her, like I was, and she met a wonderful man. (Who went on to become a DOCTOR) Unfortunately, Uncle Bill died at an early age, from cancer. But that didn't hold my Aunt back. Although she never remarried, she did and still does, live life to the fullest. She has traveled all over the world, by herself and with groups. Up until this summer - when she was 95 - she had her own apartment. It was in a retirement community, but she was self-sufficient.

Then, she hit a rough spell, she fell and broke her ankle and she also developed emphysema. While in the hospital she had some close calls and we thought we were going to lose her and she made the decision (still, on her own) to not be resuscitated if it came to that. Thankfully, it didn't come to that. I believe it's because she had her 96th birthday coming up. Aunt Ruth demanded (in the sweetest way a 95 year old woman can) that a party be thrown for her because she WOULD be there. And this past August, she was!

I recently visited her at the nursing home where she is recuperating. When I got there, she was waiting for me, she wanted to me to take her outside for a "walk." She's in a wheelchair because of her broken ankle and I think this is just killing her. She was wearing a brand new outfit that she got for her birthday, hair and make up done and recently had a manicure. As we strolled though the halls she introduced me to everyone and they all knew that I was coming that day for a visit. She is very proud of her family and let me tell you, I felt like a ROCK STAR because everyone knew my name and was excited to finally meet Ruth's Great Niece!! (I plan on going back weekly to boost my self confidence)

I brought her a new Ohio State Buckeyes T-shirt to wear while she watched the football games this fall. Aunt Ruth is a HUGE OSU fan and this present just made her day. She is looking forward to Christmas and is diligently exercising her ankle so she can walk without crutches when she goes to my cousins house on Christmas day. I don't know how much longer I'll have my Aunt Ruth around, but I suspect it will be at least after Christmas, since she has made this her goal.

She is truly a hero and inspiration to me.

Awwww....

2008-09-30T16:41:00.000-04:00

Ok so we all know that I am single and would really, really like to finds me a man (and then immediately find EVERYTHING WRONG with him - kidding - sort of, my therapist and I are working on this one.) Like I was saying, I want a mans and if I did get as far as marrying him I'd even take his name (this would be weird since I've had mine for so long now, but I really think I'd take his name)

Did y'all hear me? I'd take his name UNLESS it was this last name that I just came across doing resume searches. "Hiscock" This person is a female. Awww... honey, if you're not married - GET MARRIED, if you ARE married - why oh why did you take his last name???

What - was yours worse?

Like, Hertwat?

Little old ladies . . .

2008-09-29T22:39:00.000-04:00

Even though my day started off not so great, it ended with a HUGE smile.

Ok - so I ran to the the grocery store tonight to pick up dinner and a few other things (you know the drill, you go in for butter, and come out with eggs, 10 packs of frozen veggies b/c they were 10 for $10?) See this blog (round 3) to see how that's going to end up.

Anyway - I'm checking out and as I'm bagging my things (yes I use the self check out - because the 14 year old they have working the register? Yeah, I like my bread ON TOP of the groceries and soap/chemical products? Yeah, I like them bagged SEPARATELY - I'm weird like that, I know.) So, I'm bagging my things and I see this this kid (probably about 20-22) walking by with his jeans pulled down half way around his ass. I know I'm getting old(er) but I will never, ever get this look. Ok, I got it when Marky Mark did it in the "Good Vibrations" video - but he wore cute Calvins and it was ONLY the waist band of the Calvins that showed - not half of his ASS!! Although - hindsight - might not have been that bad.

Ok - back to my point - I'm sorry, my brain is still in vacay mode. So, as he walks by - half ass showing and all - I must have given a dirty look or a look of disgust (really he didn't even have cute underwear on - I mean if I HAVE to SEE IT - it better be cute or designer - and it was neither.) So there I am, dirty look giver, and this sweet little old lady (I swear she had to be 80) comes up to me and says: "I bet he thinks he's all that and a bag of chips. I just hate the way they wear their jeans like that."

Honestly, I thought she was going to yell at me for giving the dirty look - like maybe this kid was her grandson or something - based on how my day started - it really wasn't that far of a stretch.

But wait! There's more!

That's not ALL she said.

This is sooooooooooooo funny - you better not take a drink or anything . . . .

Seriously - I'm warning you - this is HILARIOUS . . .

She then says, "they (the kids) wear them that low, like they're hanging off their wieners!!"

People - this was the SWEETEST little old lady and she said WIENERS!!! I thought I was going to die! I am not making this up!

I think I just caught a glimpse of myself at 80 years old.

Rock on grandma, rock on . . . .

Curb your Dog . . .

2008-09-29T10:24:00.000-04:00

Ok - so I just got back from taking my Delightful Daisy for a morning walk (something I wish I could do everyday - but alas, I don't have that much vacation time.) So, you can imagine, since I'm using up a precious vacay day today, that I am thoroughly enjoying my walk with my dog and don't want it to be spoiled by anything or any ONE. Well, that was not the case this morning. I had just hung up with Dave and had told him that Houdini (aka Daisy) had gotten loose on Saturday and in the 15 minutes (or less) that she was gone - it looked like she may have gotten into a fight or something - as she was missing a tiny patch of hair around her collar.

I really don't think she got in a fight - the patch is quite small - about the size of the tip of my pinky - but non-the-less, hair/fur is missing - so I wonder . .

So, Dave tells/yells at me that one day "that dog" is going to mess with the wrong animal or person and will get itself hurt or killed even. (he's doing this to get me going). I have a fenced yard, I keep her chained when she's out front, she's got her license and pretty much EVERYONE in the 'hood knows she's my dog. I know the consequences and try - my very best - to keep her contained. This is why she ended up with me in the first place - she was a rescue that kept getting loose and running away - and ended up in the pound. What can I say? She's like me - she's got a free spirit - that's why I love her so much!!

I tell Dave that IF that happens and she is hurt or God forbid, killed then THAT was her fate.

It will also be my fate to live out the rest of my days in JAIL because I will have KILLED or at least MAIMED the person/animal who hurts my precious POOCH. (ok - that's a joke - sort of.)

I have a point to this story- I promise - and here it is: about 10 minutes after I hang up with Dave I pass a house where someone is backing out and going, I presume, to work. They get about 6 or so houses down the street and then they SLAMMMMMMM on their brakes and BACK UP THE ENTIRE WAY - past their house and stop in front of ME and DAISY. Ok, so I'm a little freaked out and apprehensive right now. This (psychotic) lady then rolls down the passenger window and says to me - "I see your walking your dog but you don't have any bags with you" (the pooper scooper kind). I give her a nasty look and say, "yes I do they're in my pocket." (which they were.) Instead of saying, ok, I'm sorry or I'm glad you're responsible for your dog or ANYTHING along those lines - she CONTINUES to yell saying "well, SOMEONE lets their dog poop in my yard and I don't appreciate it."

Listen you old bat - I just got done telling you that I HAVE BAGS WITH ME - I AM A RESPONSIBLE DOG OWNER! Don't effing continue to yell at me, be on your miserable way.
THIS was the response I WANTED to say to her. What I said was "well it's not my dog." - Wooooooo - I bet I scared her.

I SHOULD have asked her if she drives around the entire neighborhood yelling at all dog walkers about the poop in her yard. I SHOULD have told her that she should be THANKFUL that she doesn't live in the neighborhood with the SHORT BUS and have Logan roaming the streets - ha ha!!

So much for a nice walk. . .

Spin Cycle

2008-09-26T16:36:00.000-04:00

So I want to be a part of the Spin Cycle too - I guess that's one wish eh? I posted a blog on WISHES before - but here are more wishes that I wish would come true:

I wish that every time I ate chocolate - it had a counter reaction - like it actually made my ass look 5 lbs smaller!! Let me tell you, I'd have a NICE A$$!!!

I wish that I was ACTUALLY as cool as I think I am!

I wish it was 5 o'clock already!!! Sheesh - is time just tick tock taking forever today???

I wish I knew the POWER ball numbers for tonight . . .

I wish I had NATURALLY blonde hair -but, thank GOD I have a GREAT hairdresser!!

I wish you all a very good weekend!

What if . . .

2008-09-24T15:56:00.000-04:00

Ever have a "What if" moment? Could just be a coincidence or a whatever moment - but usually, "what if" moments are life changing (or I guess, could be). Got this idea for a blog from a contest on Ask Alice

Here's mine . . .

One of my biggest "What if" moments happened about 6 years ago when I went to Maui, HI with my now BFF (then, friend from work) for her wedding over Memorial Day. I wasn't in the wedding but I shared a condo with the maid of honor and best man. We were the only singletons there. It was a very "Real World" meeting at the airport - because we honestly didn't know each other (really) until we all met at the airport as our flights arrived. (The Best Man was from Chicago, Maid of Honor from Michigan and I am from Ohio.) We had really only emailed each other - as one was in charge of the rental, another in charge of the condo, etc. That was about it.

Side note: The three of us got along GREAT and had the best vacation ever. Six years later and every Memorial Day weekend I get out my pictures and just smile remembering the best 9 days in my life.

Anyway - the first night there, after dinner – Best Man and I sat out on the beach with a makeshift cooler (trash can from the room with ice) and a case of Corona's and just talked and talked and drank, and drank. Maid of Honor was invited to join us – but declined because she was tired and full from dinner.

Before we knew it, and after hearing many funny and personal stories, taking silly pictures of each other and the MANY sand crabs (one who we named - Big Brutus), it was 5am and the sun was rising. In our drunken state - we tried (unsuccessfully) to actually SEE the sun rise - but we couldn't find it. Yes, the BIG ORANGE/YELLOW CIRCLE in the SKY? - We, (dru-unks) couldn't find it. (I am NOT lying)
Nothing happened that night - romantically - except that we became great friends and the next week was the literally the BEST WEEK EVER. (for all 3 of us too) Over the course of the next 7 days we were as thick as thieves and never left each others side.

On our last night in Maui (the Maid of Honor had left for home the night before) Best Man and I had dinner and a little too much to drink - which would usually mean that something ROMANTIC actually DID happen right? Wrong! Way too much alcohol and we just both fell asleep. I had to leave the next day and wouldn't see him again until the reception back home for the newlyweds.

When we met up at the reception, in the newlywed’s hometown in Michigan, it was as if we never missed a beat, we were reminiscing about the trip – checking out my tattoo. Oh yeah, I always wanted a tattoo – he had a couple and said he’d go with me – so I have a tattoo to remind me of that trip. At the end of the night Best Man drove me back to my hotel and at a red light I leaned over and planted a big kiss on him and told him that I’d been dying to do that since Maui. He said “me too!” Unfortunately, I was sharing a room with the Maid of Honor and others from the wedding so we would again have to wait to be with each other.

The next morning we had to be up early at the newlywed’s house to watch them open gifts - ugggh!! All I wanted to do was consummate my new relationship with Best Man – not watch someone else open gifts!! But like a really cheesy romantic comedy – this was not in the works for us. You see, the day went on and on, and on and on – and eventually we had to go our separate ways, he back to Chicago and me back to Ohio because (like an IDIOT) I rode to Michigan with the newlyweds and had to leave when they did.

We tried to keep in touch via email and phone calls, but you know how that goes. Throw in the fact that Best Man was interviewing and eventually landed a new job, time was sparse. It just never came to fruition. Except, one night 9 months later, he came to visit the newlyweds unexpectedly. At this time, however, I was kind of dating someone else. While Best Man was at the newlyweds house, my BFF’s new Husband told Best Man about this someone else and this sealed the fate of any relationship between me and Best Man.

It’s been a little of six years now, newlyweds are still married and have 2 children (one even named after me!) and the Maid of Honor is also married with children. Best Man and me?

STILL SINGLE.
NEITHER OF US DATING ANYONE.

Do I think What If? All the time . . . .

What are your "What if" moments?

Is this REALLY news to anyone??

2008-09-24T09:38:00.000-04:00

Taken from Yahoo! News:

NEW YORK - Clay Aiken appears on the cover of the latest People magazine holding his infant son, Parker Foster Aiken, with the headline: "Yes, I'm Gay."

I mean, come on, did anyone REALLY NOT think he was gay??

Must be a slow news day . . .

Kinda like my blog writing lately . . . .

Things that make you go hmmmm....

2008-09-23T16:36:00.000-04:00

Daily musings

So today I decided to “power walk” after eating lunch. Was it because it’s absolutely GORGEOUS outside today? Perhaps. Was it because walking is good exercise and I really should get more exercise? Maybe. Was it because I ate way too much for breakfast and lunch? Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!

So anyway I, along with many other co-workers, are walking in my company’s parking lot (where 1 lap is conveniently is 1 mile – or so we in HR say it is) and I’m jamming to the music on my iPod and I pass this woman who is in her “workout clothes” and obviously working up a sweat and she was SMOKING! I had to stop and do a double take. She was smoking while power walking! I don’t know why this amuses me so much – but I just chuckled to myself – because here we all are, doing something healthy (or at least that’s what we tell ourselves) and there she is smoking while power walking. I guess you could say she’s keeping it real, because really, I’m sitting here at my desk – just a couple hours after my “exercise” eating Mike and Ike’s (which are sitting RIGHT next to the carrots I bought at lunch today) - at least this woman isn’t lying to herself.

More Thoughts:

Last night, Dave, Jerry and I met for drinks and appetizers at Chrissie Hynde’s VegeTerranean restaurant. Lots went on last night between Dave, Jerry and I – I’ll chat about that later – but one thing that I did notice was this couple that was having dinner. They were by themselves, just the two of them, in a booth, sitting on the same side instead of across from each other. I just don’t get this – maybe it’s because I’m not part of a couple, but why do couples sit side by side in a booth when eating dinner? I can see if there was another couple with them – but it was JUST the two of them!! Um, hello? Maybe I’m jaded and just seeing couples makes me a teensy bit jealous, but still, this just doesn’t seem right to me. Sitting next to each other at a bar, yes, that is fine – but at a table or booth – it seems like they’re on a bus bench or something. OK – so I AM jealous because I want to be in a relationship right now – but even if I was with Mr. Wonderful Tonight, he would be sitting ACROSS the booth from me – not next to me – I needs my space people!!

What are your thoughts??

What up Dawg?

2008-09-22T16:46:00.003-04:00

Halloween can't come soon enough for poor Daisy . . .

Ohhh - but then the Santa Hats will be out!!! Maybe then, I'll be able to come up with something to write about.

Things I've learned . . .

2008-09-17T09:05:00.000-04:00

* Grocery shopping after a “few” drinks is NEVER a good idea.
I went in for a quart of milk. Came out with a bag of Halloween candy, mozzarella cheese sticks, doughnuts and ho-ho’s, barely remembering to grab the milk!

* Even though I'm wearing a cute shirt and killer heels - I don’t “look sober” and the customers in the grocery store ARE talking about me.

* Volunteering to bring in a breakfast casserole is also not a good idea if you’re planning on drinking the night before. (even if you’re only having “one”)

* If you don’t normally wake up early when you HAVEN’T been drinking the night before – you WILL NOT wake up early just because you have a breakfast casserole to bake.

* Patron is STILL tequila, no matter how smooth it goes down. My gag reflex will still kick in . . .

* I always have a fun night out with Dave. . .

* Birthday month is F U N!!