With a blog name like “Shopgirl,” one would assume that I love to shop - right? (Yes, I know what happens when you a s s u m e anything - don't go there.)
It’s true, I do love to shop and I also “shop” for employees for my company. (see http://missdaisydog.blogspot.com/2008/05/road-trip.html for my “work/life” story.) So yes, I love to shop - for just about anything except groceries - which is weird since I'm a bit of a "foodie" and love, love, love to eat.
Well, last night I remembered one more thing that I HATE to shop for – BRAS. Let me say that again. I HATE TO SHOP FOR BRAS!! I don’t care how pretty you make ‘em with lace and satin or give ‘em names like ‘demi’, ‘balconett’, ‘full coverage’, ‘convertible’ or ‘racer back’, I HATE shopping for bras and when I do, I buy as many as I can afford. Want to know the Secret that Victoria is keeping? Answer: shopping for ‘over the shoulder boulder holders’ is a not fun! She dresses it up in frilly pink and white and adds some fruity lotions and potions to make us forget why we hate shopping for bras in the first place.
And for for any man folk who accidentally stumbled to this site and are not well-versed with the proper fitting (rather than tearing off) of bras, not all bras are created equal and price does not matter either. And while I’m at it – all bra manufacturers out there – listen up, if you make a bra in several different ‘styles’ can you keep the cup size the same in each? I swear, I tried on over 30 (I’m not lying either) different bras from just ONE manufacturer and each and every goddamn one fit different. And that was just from ONE brand name!
I had to take in over 30 different bras, because a: there were THAT many to choose from, and b: I was shopping by myself so I didn’t have anyone to run and get me another size. I was wishing so badly that my mom was with me – even though I hate shopping with her – because moms are the only ones that will stay with you while you’re going through this madness. Best girlfriends grow tired of this process really quickly – usually because in my case, my girlfriends can find the perfect bra in one fitting and ta-(ta) da they’re done. Bitches! (I mean that in the most endearing way.)
So there I am, in the fitting room with my 30+ bras sweating to death because once I have the bra on, I have to then re-dress myself to see how it looks underneath my shirt. I need to see if it accentuates the ‘girls’ in all the right places while keeping the ‘back fat’ to a minimum. (This being one of the many reasons why I’m starting the diet again) This whole process of trying on bra after bra and re-dressing is just exhausting. Oh, and don’t forget seeing myself naked from the waist up in front of a 3-way mirror, there’s a sight that I just can’t get enough of. Add to it that I’m alone and have no one to bitch at or with, makes it all the more agonizing.
I only made it through that first round of 30 bras before I gave up and took the two (because they were buy one get one half off) that fit the “best” and fled to the shoe department. What? Sue me, I needed relief. I’m surprised I didn’t go straight to Coldstone.