Friday, February 27, 2009

Thank God and the Baby Jesus . . .

So, if you haven't heard about my cell phone dilemma - go here first.

Ok - so are you all hyped up now?? Can you believe it?? 600 FUCKING FRIGGIN DOLLARS!! I know, and I can assure you that I was just making my typical calls to my usual contacts and then of course all those folks that I've called regarding a JOB - since I have none right now.

So, after FREAKING THE FUCK OUT reading over my cell phone bill, I called up Verizon (free 611 call) and talked to someone in Customer Service. This gal was actually nice and sounded like she truly wanted to help me. She did change me into a better calling plan so this FUCKING BULLSHIT unpleasant episode won't happen again. I can now call people who are not on the Verizon plan and I won't be pillaged for it. Then, she said she'd give me a one time "courtesy" credit. GREAT! I was thinking, and this is what I THOUGHT I heard her say: "I'll be able take 40% off your current bill." Woo-hoo! I thought - that's like almost 1/2 (hey, I'm too cute to do math) Anyhoodle this sounded great!

But, as everything in Shopgirl's life - this was not what she ACTUALLY said. What she DID say, was that she could take 40% off of the minutes I went over my plan - which was like 600 minutes. So, it was a ONE TIME COURTESY CREDIT of those 600 minutes - not the rest of my bill. (which was about $100) Ok, a credit is good and all, and I'm GENERALLY not one to look a gift horse in the mouth (is that the way that saying goes? B/c it really makes no sense to me) Where was I? Oh yeah, so I'm like - ok a credit of $100 but that still leaves me with a bill that's still close to a house payment or 2 car payments.

All the while, I'm thinking to myself - I pay like $80/for 2 lines and we USUALLY only use about 700 minutes total. (sometimes more - but not 600 more) Oh, the second line? Moms and Pops - I want to know I can find my 80 year old parents where-ever they may wander.

So, if I'm paying 80-ish for 700 minutes and I've gone over my bill by another 600 minutes - in MY PRETTY LITTLE HEAD the bill should be like 160 (80 +80) or possibly 200 for all the other b/s (taxes, fees, fees for those fees and taxes - you know). But not $500!

By now it was 11pm and I was just too tired and too upset to call back. So, after a less-than-restful night I got up this AM and called back. Of course I got a bitch not-so-nice customer service rep on the phone and she REFUSED to help me at all because I took the ONE TIME COURTESY CREDIT - and if I wasn't satisfied with that I should have said something last night. Now it was too late. UGGGHHH!! Well, I didn't KNOW I had the right to refuse this credit and ask for more. So I asked her what kind of help they could offer me, because right now? being unemployed? I don't have $500. At least not for a cell phone. Yes, I want to keep in touch with my peeps - but $500? Can feed me for a couple of months or pay my car for a few months.

Do you know what she said? There is NO PAYMENT PLAN... UNTIL... YOU'RE ALREADY PAST DUE. What the fuck is wrong with companies? I'm trying NOT to be a DEADBEAT here... I'm trying to WORK with this company so I can remain a GOOD customer, but you're telling me that being a customer for almost 20 years (I got a cell phone at an early age b/c my sis worked for Verizon way back then) and mostly paying on time - you won't help me until I'm already in the negative??? Yep - that's what she was saying to me. This kind of thinking just blows my fucking mind - no wonder people are buying houses they can't afford and letting them foreclose - there is no good reason NOT to. I wish now, that I would have bought my MILLION DOLLAR mansion and lived there for as many years as I could have and not paid anything - because now? I'd probably be getting some NOT DESERVED help.

Defeated and just plain fed up... I hung up and went on with my day. I figured, FUCK IT, let them turn off my phone - I'll just go to another carrier and get another phone, because I AM NOT paying $500. They won't be able to call me if they turn off my phone! But, I just wasn't raised this way (dammit) so I tried calling Verizon again. (I also, don't want to get another phone, get a new number, it's all just too much and it shouldn't be this hard.)

So, I called Verizon for a THIRD time. Explained my situation for THE THIRD TIME. To a THIRD CUSTOMER SERVICE REP. Got told a THIRD TIME that I was already give a COURTESY CREDIT. But this time, I wouldn't let up - I was nice, but stern. I didn't beg, but matter of factly, told the CSR that this was in a nutshell, bull shit and why not just help me out instead of watching my account go unpaid and ultimately end up in collections. Well, after about 20 minutes of banter and 'checking my account' and 'speaking with his supervisor'..... I received another credit which ultimately cut my phone bill pretty darn close to 1/2 of what it was last night. (Like the way I originally thought I heard the FIRST CSR say.)

It's still a lot of money-and I'm convinced that Verizon is NOT losing anything. PLUS, they are keeping a customer and a HAPPY (sorta) one too. I now don't have to be the deadbeat that companies these days want you to become and I don't have to change my phone number or get a new phone that I'm sure I wouldn't know how to use anyway..

Thank you Baby Jesus and Bill the Verizon guy....

The Moral of my story? If at first you don't succeed, try and harass and keep calling back until they credit your account dammit!!!!!!!!!!


Ok - so I'm not Catholic and at my church we really don't (or haven't been taught to) give up anything for lent. But, after tonight, I think I may (have to) give up something. My Cell Phone
: (

I just logged on line to my cell phone account and Thank God I was sitting down. Ok, last month my bill was a normal (well as normal as it usually is) dollar amount. This month? And remember, I've lost my job and have apparently been calling LOTS of places for a new job and my palio Dave - (who BTW is NOT ON MY PLAN) So this months bill?

Wait for it......

R U Sitting down?

Seriously? You should sit.... (trust me)


What. The. Fuck?????????????????????????????????????????
I could get a Louis Vuitton! Or SEVERAL Coach wallets or one VERY nice Coach purse.

I. Fucking. Hate. VERIZON!!!

And, I was doing sooooooooooo good being all happy what with the new Puppy and all... Well? it's Ramen noodles and cereal for the next couple months................

Hmmm..... let's try to find a positive in this.... If I only eat Ramen noodles and cereal for the next month or so:
1. I'll be able to repay the phone bill and still be able to answer calls from prospective employers.
2. I'll probably lose some weight and my suits for interviews with said prospective employers will probably fit better.
3. I won't have to give up my lifeline to all those Dave and Jerry friends who aren't on my plan.

Well, that's not very many positives - but that's all I can come up with. Any other ideas on how to pay back the Louis Vuitton-esque bill?

Blog responses only - no phone calls PLEASE!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

How do I tell you this....

So, I know I've been out of the loop recently and when I have been here - I was really down and out. So I guess that would explain how I ended up here with this news. You see, for the past oh month or so, I've been living rather recklessly. You know the drill; going out with anyone and everyone, drinking, smoking and coming home late... What? I don't have a job right now.... it's not like I need to BE ANYWHERE in the morning. But, while I was busy having fun and only thinking about ME, well, um... you see, wow... how do I? Oh my. I guess I should just, gosh this is really hard to explain, er - well, there's really no EXPLAINING to do - I guess I just thought I was being careful and taking all the necessary precautions, but I guess NOTHING's 100% right? well, expect if you ABSTAIN, but really - that's just down-right impossible, er - for me anyway.

What I'm trying to say is: Gosh - please don't judge me - because now I'm unemployed and this is the 2nd time I've done this. I promise - I won't end up on TV with EIGHT - like that OTHER WHACK JOB unemployed single woman. But, well I'm just going to say it: Oops. I. Did. It. Again. I am a.......

FUR MOM - again.

PHEW!!! That's a load off.

OMG!! What did you think?? That I WAS PREGNANT with a REAL baby!! PUH-LEEEZE - I HAVE been protecting myself from THAT CRAZINESS since the first time I laid (nice choice of words) eyes on a hot boy!!

(No offense to all you 'human' mommies out there - but I'm just not the "maternal type" when it comes to human babies.) But, you see, I AM the crazy-dog-lady maternal type when it comes to the poochers! And seriously? How could one NOT be when you look at THIS FACE:

Isn't she PRECIOUS? Yes, I agree - SHE IS!!
She is just a wee little thing - and is only 7 weeks old.

But, because this was not a PLANNED PREGNANCY PUPPY, she currently doesn't have a name other than "Pooh-ders" or "Pupsicle"
I'm working on a name, but being the nut-job creative one I am, I am trying to come up with something ingenuous. And, since I already have a Daisy I was thinking of something in the "flower" family, because - what girl DOESN'T like to be surrounded by pretty flowers? Well, I'm sure there are crazy bitches some girls who DON'T like flowers - but not ME - I loves me flowers and since I don't have Mr. MANZ in my life right now, I'm not getting any (flowers) right now.
She and her fur-sister Daisy are getting along fine - now. Last night (our first night together) was questionable. Daisy WAS. NOT. HAPPY. AT. ALL. WITH ME. But, she's doing better today - and we (Daisy and I only) went for a long walk and I think that helped.

So, stay tuned - as I try to figure out what to call this adorable little creature that I will "love her and hug her and call her George____________________.
(My favorite quote from the Abominable snowman cartoon with Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny.)

PS - for those of Dave you that are paying attention to my "not working and have no money situation" - This pooch was FREE to a GOOD home. Ummmm... Hello? Dogs find HEAVEN when they come to the Shopgirl's house!! I'll post more pics later - I already have TONS - but my Internet is S.L.O.W. tonight and I don't have the patience to wait!!

Sunday, February 15, 2009


I'm sooooooooo hating 2009 it's not even funny. And I'm usually all about the funny. So, in January, I lost my job of 8 years and 362 days. Then, my friends' dad died unexpectedly. And today? Well, it is going to be a FUN day - because my dad turned 80 years old on Friday and we're having a surprise b-day party for him tonight. So, that, I hope will be all fun and no drama.
But just now, I just got of the phone with my sis-in-law and she tells me that they have decided to put their dog "Shadow" down tomorrow.

OMG! So this brought on all kinds of emotions - because we all know what kind of dog lover (crazy lady) I am, and then it brought back the emotions of when I had to put my own dog down two years ago. Now, Shadow is a 13 year old Lab and she's not in good health - so I do believe it's the right thing to do - but still, seriously I'm hanging on by the thinnest of threads here and I really didn't need this.

I know what you may be thinking - what are you getting all upset about your SIL's dog - you big baby, but 13 years ago I lived at home before I bought my house and that's when I got Roxy - my lab. And my brother and SIL lived right up the road from my parents house. Everyday, I walked Roxy and we'd go get Shadow and all go for a walk. Roxmeister and Shadow were buddies. And now, to hear about Shadow dying just makes me think about Roxy all over again.

I hate death - I know it's a part of life, but right now I'm one big bag of emotional goo and this isn't helping. I am really lucky because in my lifetime, I really haven't had to deal with much death in my personal life. Aunts, uncles and grandparents have passed - but honestly, I wasn't that close to most of them due to geography - so their loss, while sad, didn't hit me as hard as say - my dog and now, Shadow. I don't even want to think about the thought of losing my parents because if I'm struggling over my SIL's dog - then I'm in trouble. And with my dad turning 80 this weekend and my mom celebrating hers in May - well, I just can't think about it.

This is just one big sappy, gooey post and I don't apologize for it at all - I need to get my emotions out before I burst and this is the only place right now that I can vent. I am trying to get myself together and just when I think it's going to be a good day - I get news like this, or another "rejection" letter from one of the 1000 employers that I've sent my resume to.

I will try to come up with a more cheerful post - but right now, I just don't think I have it in me. So, please... for Shopgirl.... keep writing funny stuff on your blogs because the TV is too depressing and my reality is just a little to real right now....

Monday, February 9, 2009

Dark Days

Well, it's been 2 and 1/2 weeks since I was laid off from work. I wish that I could report that I've had several interviews and I'm currently negotiating 4-5 offers right now. But sadly, that is not the case. In reality, I'm barely holding on - and it's only been 2 and 1/2 weeks. Oh sure, I have some good days - I even shower. But mostly, I'm lying in bed in a deep dark depression. TV doesn't help, in fact, it makes it worse. I don't know if I'm just hearing the same story over and over again - but if I hear that "this person" has been out of work since last AUGUST, one more time.... Or that this January is the worst in loss of jobs in like 30 years, I think I may put a bullet in my head. Out of work since August? That's (hold on while I do the math) 6 months! I don't have that kind of time or severance, or savings for that matter! I'm starting to freak out a little here.

2009 has not been "fine" for me. In fact, it has pretty much sucked the life right out of me and it's only the 2nd week of the 2nd month. Man, this is a HAPPY post isn't it?? Let's re-cap for moment on the year of 2009 -
  • We innaugerated our first Black President on 1/20/09. YEAH!
  • I lost my job on 1/21/2009 - BOO HISS!
  • (And isn't this the president that's going to fight for equal pay between men and women? How about equal layoffs between men and women - since 2 women were let go in my department and the one and ONLY man penis got to keep his job.)
  • My childhood best friend's dad died on 1/30/2009 - BOO HISS!
  • I finally got to see my childhood best friend - after a year of emailing and chatting - but it wasn't quite the reunion I was hoping for.
Ok - I'll stop - because really - only the last bullet point is the worst of my "oh woe is me" sob story. Things just really aren't THAT bad - yet. I still have a lot of time left of my severance and I do have some savings that I can use. For the most part, I'm healthy - except for my teeth (which I forgot to bullet point). I had to have an emergency root canal last week and just for added fun, I think I have ANOTHER cavity on the other side of my mouth. Thank God I have my insurance for a few more months. But, really, I guess things aren't THAT bad.

Like I said - I do have my health - and now, since I don't have a J.O.B. to go to every day - I'm getting A LOT more sleep (ha ha) and I'm walking Miss Daisy Dog around the 'hood for at least an hour every day. These are both things that I WISHED I could do on a constant basis while I did have a job. Wow - be careful what you wish for eh?

I think I'm at a loss because I'm finally realizing how much I actually DID enjoy my job. Well, maybe not the whole job in and of itself, but I did like the people I worked with and actually interacting with them on a daily basis. Maybe this lay off was supposed to happen to show me that I really don't want to work from home. I have to admit, I'm not doing well all by my lonesome. For as much as I thought I didn't like people (funny, since I worked in HR) I sure do miss my peeps and the chit-chat that goes with those peeps.

We all know I love (maybe just a little to much) my dog - but quite honestly, Miss Daisy Dog is working my last nerve. All she does is BARK all damn day!!! Has she NOT figured out that the mailman comes to the house EVERY EFFING DAY around 11am?? And, how many times does she have to run up and down the stairs to bark out the front window and then from the window in my bedroom. And how is it, that for the past 2 EFFING years - she was able to go 8+ hours a day without having to go outside and now? Now that I'm home? She has to go every EFFING 15 minutes? Also - she's all good and sleeping when I'm NOT on the phone or on the internet, but as soon as my cell goes off or I'm trying to fill out an online application - there she is - either barking at a GOD BLESSED leaf falling from a tree or at my feet whining because now (when I'm trying to upload my resume), she needs to go "out."

Like I said - I'm not doing well with my time off out from work. For those of you that still read my blog - I do read yours (when Daisy's not bugging me or barking non stop) - and it's what's keeping me sane. So thank you for your stories - funny or not. I haven't posted to many of your blogs, because, well as you can see, I'm just not in a good place right now. I hope this Dark Mood lifts soon, because I just don't think I can take it much longer. And, if by some miracle, I do finally land an interview or two - I need to be in a more positive place so I can actually LAND that job and get myself back to work. (I mean, seriously, I need some good stuff to bitch about and work generally brings that out in me!!)

Ok - that's all I have for now. I do have a couple of "funny" stories to share and I will... I just had to get this "ick" out of me - maybe it will help.