Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Tricky trickster . . .

So – now that I’m back to my blogging self – I see that there’s a new Spin Cycle for the Tricksters!

I sooooooooo loves to play tricks on other people and do not fancy them being played on me. Nope – I do not play well in the sand box. Just ask my mom – she knew this right away and sent me to pre-school twice so I would learn to play nice – mom, you should get your money back.

But this post isn’t about ME (yeah right) it’s about a trick that I played, right? Well, I’ve played many in my day and hope to play many many more – but I have to say one of my favorite tricks happened about 8 years ago.

A group of friends and I went on a Caribbean cruise. There were about 10 of us on this cruise. It was me, my boyfriend Don (who we called Wally – I don’t know why – it was a high school nickname that stuck I guess) so it was me and Wally, my friend Robin and her boyfriend Mike, Lisa and Rich, Tracey and Ben and Tracey’s parents. So, we’re all excited the day of the cruise and we met at Robin/Mike’s house – had our Pre-cruise picture taken before Rob’s dad took us to the airport. (Yes, we were too cheap to drive ourselves and park our cars for 10 days).

We get to the airport, check in and make it to our seats on the plane (not anywhere near each other.) We take off, all is well and the flight attendant (male and VERY GAY) comes by and notices my cruise information and tries to play a trick on ME by telling me that the captain just “got a call from the ship/port and was told that the cruise had been canceled due to bad weather.” Pffftt!! I mock him to his face. “Nice try, I was born at night but not last night. Move along my friend.” Wally and I just laughed it off – but when the flight attendant came back our way, I told him that I didn’t buy his story but I knew someone that WOULD, my then BFF Robin who was also named “Most Gullible” in HS.

So, I told him where she was sitting, what she looked like and so on and off he went. Now, Robin and Mike were sitting in the very back of the plane and Wally and I were almost in the front. We waited for the flight attendant to come back and give us her reaction – but we didn’t need to because we heard – above the noise of the plane – “you’ve gotta be shitting me!!”
Side note: I’m honestly tearing up laughing as I write this, because Robins’ voice is a high pitched squeal, and she’s just as loud or LOUDER than me – so this was HUH-STER-ICAL – (hysterical for those of you that don’t speak hyphenation.)

So, the FA comes back to our seats and says to me (almost panicking) “she bought it.” Wally and I could barely contain ourselves. The FA wanted to go back and tell her it was just a joke but I said ABSOLUTELY NOT. So, we let Mike and Robin think that our cruise had been canceled. I mean, come on, WHO would believe that the GD shipping/port/cruise would RADIO to a plane in the sky that the trip was cancelled??? My friend Robin and her now husband Mike – that’s who.

So, about two hours later, we’re just about to land and the FA tells me that he’s going to let Robin in on the joke. Again, we wait for him to come back and tell us her reaction and AGAIN, we don’t have to. “JILL!!!!!!! Oh my God! I’m going to kill you!!” Again, Wally and I nearly wet ourselves from all of this. She (Robin) is so EASY to get!!

Little did we know that not only was Robin the MOST GULLIBLE on this plane ride. Nearly half of the plane heard this joke and I guess that’s ALL they talked about for the ride down!! Honestly, it was a big plane and not a short bus that we were on.

Needless to say, Robin and half the plane and cruisers were not exactly happy with me and Wally. Our FA, however, thoroughly enjoyed the plane ride - as Wally and I had several cocktails on his behalf. He couldn’t believe how everyone fell for it.

Everyone got over it- and we had a great cruise – although Wally and I were very well known all week long as the “pranksters.”

Just an afternoon giggle . . .

We all know that I love and hate my job. Well, right now I love my job - because of this candidate who shall remain nameless. This candidate works at the the Loaf N' Jug (I don't even know what that is - and I can't call to find out because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to contain myself), AND they are the recipient of the Store Image Award.


Therapy or prescription drugs may be needed. . .

Things that are my mind today:

Its fall outside- but I feel like I’m in the middle of a January-February DEEP depression. I usually like fall – the colors, the brisk air (since I’m not a fan of the hot/humid days) but this week has been a rough one and it’s only Wednesday.

First off, I discovered I have a mouse (which means MICE) in my house. I have traps all over the place since I found evidence in EVERY nook and cranny in my house. I had suspected I had a mouse, because a couple weeks ago, I was watching a movie and I SWORE I saw something scurry from the chair to behind the TV stand, but I was like “ok, my mind is playing tricks on me” but since I found “evidence” (mouse poop – nice) I know it’s not all in my head (for once).
UPDATE: as of last night, I’ve caught 2.

This is also adds to my depression – because, being a SINGLE gal, I have to take care of the dead mouse. Daisy just stands BEHIND me as I use the broom to try to get the mouse and trap into a trash can. THIS IS THE GROSSEST (is that a word? – anyway) THING TO HAVE TO DO EVER. AND I REALLY NEED/WANT A MAN IN MY LIFE. (Insert sad violin music here)

Another reason I’m hating life right now is the WEATHER – Like I said, I usually like fall – but last week (well, I was in Florida) so the week before THAT it was soooooo nice here – like upper 70’s and I think 80’s one day and it’s OCTOBER!! So, I was all happy tooling around town in my convertible bug just enjoying birthday month. This past weekend was also BEAUTIFUL – but this Monday? Um, hello WINTER!! It’s like 40 degrees outside! It’s sunny today – so that helps, but it’s COLD!! I think I have that Seasonal Depression thing. (Or I’m just a whiner – either way)

It’s also getting darker earlier around here, so Daisy and I have to take our after work walks in the dark. Man, I’m seriously bumming myself out just writing this blog. If you’re still with me and haven’t wanted to blow your brains out by now – GOD LOVE YA!

On a somewhat happier note, my trip to Florida last week was fun, even though I had to travel on my birthday. My co-worker was really nice and bought me a card for her and the others on the trip to sign. We also went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory (how could THIS not make me happy?) where she bought me a Bikini Martini – hey, I was in Florida and since I can’t WEAR a bikini – I’ll drink one!! It was quite tasty –but since I was with work people – I only had one – had I been with my pal Jerry or Dave – I would have had the whole collection of Bikinis!!

Much to my dismay, my co-worker took it upon herself to notify the staff at CF that it was indeed my birthday so after the meal I was serenaded by the entire CF staff. Ok, for those that know me, you’d think I’d like all this attention, but I really, really DO NOT like it one little bit. But, I smiled and thanked everyone, blew out the candle and ate a bite of the vanilla ice-cream that they gave me. That’s right!! I’m at the CHEESECAKE FACTORY and they brought me a small scoop of VANILLA (ewwww) ICE CREAM with a candle in it!! Ummmm again, Hello? It’s the CHEESECAKE FACTORY where there are like 100 kinds of CHEESECAKE and I got vanilla (again, ew) ice cream. Nice.

So, of course, we ordered CHEESECAKE. I can’t even remember what we ordered – there were 5 of us there and we ordered 2 different kinds to share – it was DELISH.

The rest of the week in Florida was pretty boring – I was there for a seminar: It’s a Matter of Respect – an HR training program that we had to deliver to our managers in two different Florida districts. We presented it twice for two days. I’m so RESPECTED out that I could just die. Hmmmm… maybe the reason for my piss-poor mood this week? Perhaps.

For those of you that are still with me after this moody post (thank you!) I will end it with a funny story. On our last night in Florida, we had dinner at the Bubba Gump Shrimp restaurant. “Run Forest, Run!” It was nice (food was good – not great but not bad either) but it WAS right on the OCEAN – and it was a full moon that night – so it was very cool to see all the white caps roll into the shore. Our waiter was pretty cool and during dinner he played a little “trivia” with us –but we didn’t win anything. (I didn’t think of that until just now – what mean trick!)

Anyway – he asked if we’ve seen the movie “Forest Gump” and we have and I have like 1000 times. Ummm hello Time Warner? You play Forest Gump EVERY weekend on USA or TNT.

Well, Dave and I have a favorite part in this movie – it’s where Forest’s mom convinces the principal to let her son go to the public school. Forest is sitting on the porch of Mama’s house and hears his mother “convincing” the principal. When the principal comes out he looks and Forest and says “boy, your mother sure does care about your education.” To which Forest replies “ehh ehhh ehh ehh!!” Dave and I ALWAYS say this to each other – if he’s asking about my sexcapades or I’m inquiring about his – we have to do this to one another. So, of course our waiter asks us this one question – and he says before asking it “no one ever gets this one” – then of course, I GOT IT – AND RECITED IT JUST AS FOREST DOES. Yep, I paid attention during the “matter of respect” training. Money well spent by my employer. I’m sure my manager (who was there) was SO proud.

Ha! – just thinking about that line from F.G. I’m cracking myself up! I’m back!! Actually, it was the COACH purse I bought myself (and shouldn't have, I know Dave) for my birthday!! I'll stop shopping NEXT month!!

PS - I'll post pictures from FL later - I don't have my card reader with me ; (