This past Sunday my BFF called and asked if I wanted to go shopping with her to get her daughters new shoes at the Outlet mall. I enthusiastically said yes, only after confessing that I had been sick and if she didn’t want me to go for fear of getting the girls sick, I would, sniff, totally understand. “Oh” she said, “you have the same thing Matt (husband) had this week, they’ve already been exposed.” YEA!!! I get to leave the house and re-join the land of the living!
So we head up to the Outlets, about a 40 minute ride, which, when it’s just the BFF and me, is a quick and often laugh filled ride. This time, however, there was a four year old and one year old in the car, so needless to say, Aunt Jill had to keep her Sailor Swearing mouth in check – which meant it was a LONG ride to the outlet. Given the choice, I would rather ride with my parents and talk about my sex-capades or lack there of, than keeping it PG or trying to decipher what a four year old is trying to say. Seriously, I think I came out of the wound talking (well, not really – mom had to pay a speech therapist to get me to talk properly – money WELL spent) but honest to God – how do you mommies do it? And the constant interrupting? Ummm… I’m trying to tell your mom about my current boy/man problems Miss Thing!
So we finally get to the Outlet Mall and make our way to Stride Rite shoes. Yep, this is going to be LOADS of fun for me. A shoe store for CHILDRENS SHOES – what kind of HELL did I just walk into. But wait. There are WOMENS shoes in here too!! And they’re on . . . SALE!!! I immediately run to the sandals and start searching for my size, when I realize that I’m supposed to be watching the four year old. Oops. Yeah, that “mommy gene,” I don’t have it. My friend looks at me with that “I brought you with us so you could help me” look and I drop the sale priced sandal and take over as Aunt Jill, keeper of the spastic four year old. So, instead of searching for MY SIZE shoe – we searched for AVERY’S size and I’ve got to say, it was fun. (and inexpensive since I didn’t buy shoes for ME!) Of course it’s MY job to get her the shoes (mainly because she is a bundle of energy and is destroying the displays by herself.) So, I’m finding her cute shoes to try on and as I come back to help her, she informs me that she needs NO HELP AT ALL from ME to put the shoes on for her – SHE CAN DO IT! (This was just painful watching her over and over again put the shoe on the wrong foot.)
Finally, we find a pair of shoes that both Avery and mom like and they were on sale for $12.99!! Aunt Jill ROCKS –yes, I can find a sale price in any size! Personally, I thought the shoes were a little big, but according to mom – “she’ll grow into them.” She’ll grow into them. Four words that I don’t think I’ve uttered since I was four years old perhaps. “She’ll grow into them.”
Those words stayed with me as we made our way into the ‘grown up’ store next door – The Gap. As mom and the one year old went to look for clothes for daddy, Avery and I went STRAIGHT to Aunt Jilly’s side of the store. Now, shopping with a four year old is NOT easy and I had to make it a game to keep her occupied and to keep me from screaming at her. So, I make her my personal assistant. She (and I) loved it!! She felt like a big girl and I had someone to hold onto everything I wanted to try on. I even taught her how to hold everything with both arms so the clothes wouldn’t drag on the floor – since she’s only 2 ½ -3 feet tall – this was crucial.
We head back to the fitting room and of course Miss Thing wants to come with me and not go with her mom. Now, I’m usually in the fitting room alone with only my self to criticize the view in the mirror. Today, I’m with myself, my self loathing thoughts, AND a four year old who is BRUTALLY honest. The first thing I try on is a tank tap. As I take off my shirt, Miss Honesty starts to giggle. My self loathing thoughts are candy-ass compared to a four year olds giggle. When an innocent little four year old laughs out loud as you take off your shirt, it’s time to call it a day.
So I finish with a pair of black dress pants, remembering what my friend said about Avery’s shoes “she’ll grow into them.” As I check the fit I think ‘not bad.’ ‘The diet is working and after a few more pounds, these will look even better.’ Funny thing about life. As a kid we can’t wait to ‘grow into our clothes or shoes’ and we can’t wait to get bigger. As an adult, we are constantly trying to ‘slim down’ to get into our clothes and get smaller.
I did buy the pants. They made my ass look fantastic and as a rule, if the ass looks good – buy the pants!