Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The B word

So Dave has been cooking for me (and our friend Jerry) – and yes, I’m soooooooooooo loving it. And, he's a pretty DAMN good cook!! His mother has a HUGE garden and last week sent us lots and lots of FRESHLY GROWN veggies – that Dave grills up for us on my new GRIDDLE/GRILLE that I recently bought at my favorite store Target. Now, however, Dave wants to take over my finances. Well, not takeover, because I’d be ALL for that. No, he wants to put me on a . . . on a . . . (breathing hard here) on a BUDGET.

First he’s got me on a DIET and even though I am willingly going along with the diet business, I’m not so sure I can handle a BUDGET with HIM. God, just typing the word makes my stomach queasy. Or is it the 3 Musketeers bar I just had? (It was a “miniature” bar – don’t call me and tell me how much sugar I just consumed.) Yes, that call out is to my dear friend Dave.

You see, my dearest Dave is a wee-bit OCD. And while on this diet I am constantly getting updates on the amounts of sugar, carbs, calories, grams of fat in any one item that I may stuff into my face (or what he has regrettably eaten that day.) Now, if we go forward and I let him put me on a . . . . . BUDGET. (Seriously, feeling faint right now.)

God, on a BUDGET I’d have to answer to everything I spend a single copper penny on. I’m just not sure I’m ready to go there. I’ve never, ever been good with money and I’m even worse when someone tries to control my spending. But, given my current financial status (disaster) I’m pretty sure it’s my only salvation. Oh god . . . I think I need to lie down. . . .

OR – share with all of you what I bought this past weekend at the local Art Fair. What? I proudly and FULLY support the ARTS in my community. And, um hello it was an Art Fair and that not only meant cool art-sy stuff but it meant FAIR FOOD – like funnel cakes (which I didn’t have) and corn dogs (ok – I had one corn dog).

Ok – so anyway – I did buy a few things – had to have a pair of CUTE earrings and a necklace to match. And I got the most fun Hummingbird feeder that was made out of a Tab glass bottle! Didn’t you just love Tab?? Well, I did – and it’s all I drank in college (well, before and after going to the bar) so it brought back good memories.

I didn’t spend that much and it was within my “spending budget” that I’ve devised for myself. With all the veggies we got from Dave’s mom, I had extra grocery money to spend!! Bonus!!

Anyway – these are the artists that I’m loving right now:’t buy a purse from her, but soooooooooo want to. – I got her “signature copyrighted piece” only mine was like a lime green instead of blue that’s shown on the site. I got the matching earrings also on the page. – his work was AMAZING and made me want to go home and use my $600 Digital SLR that I bought back in January and haven’t used yet. Hmmm.. maybe it IS time for a BUDGET. – she had the most fun and funky jewelry and home decorations. I want to quit my job and be her.

If you visit any of these sites – tell them that I sent ya!!

I wish I may, I wish I might, get the ONE wish I wish tonight and every night . . .

One Wish: If you had one wish, what would it be?

Well, since I’m a bit of a selfish little bitch, I’d want more than one wish – really, if I’m wishing here – I’d wish for more wishes. Hmmmmm.. makes you applaud my mother’s reasoning for re-sending me to pre-school to learn how to share – amongst other things.

Anyway, back to my wish-es. I wish I was skinny. No, I wish I didn’t love food as much as I do – then, I’d be skinnier. No, I wish I liked to work out – A LOT – then I could eat because I love food so much. No, I wish I had a high metabolism – then I wouldn’t have to work out AND I could eat what ever my rapid beating heart desired - because let’s face it, who really likes to work out anyway? For those of you that do – I’m so not liking you (or believing you) right now.

Another wish? I wish I could sing. Out loud. Not just in my car or to my dog (which I’m sure hurts her ears more than ANYONES.) I wish people actually WANTED to hear me (my mom doesn’t count either) sing. I’m totally into the “Wicked” Soundtrack right now that I just want to sing out loud in my cubicle (and quiet frankly, I’m pretty sure it will happen) along with GaLinda to the song “Popular.” I’ve been ‘shushed’ so many times this week because I talk to loud that I’m pretty sure bursting out in song will have even more negative ramifications. Hmmm.. could I be written up? Or, maybe they’d send me home. THAT’S really wouldn’t be such a bad thing. I’m going to start warming up my pipes. . . .

But here’s my wish of all wishes – The MOTHER WISH if you will:

I wish I had a tall drink of water that would be there every morning when I wake up, lying next to me. I got a tiny morsel of this last week – but it lasted for approximately a minute – and now, I’m craving it!! Unfortunately this morsel was not quite the taste I was looking for so I’ll have to keep searching the ‘menu’ until I find that perfect meal (er – I mean man, see? It all comes back to food with me). I’m tired and a little bitter too, of seeing and watching everyone around me in love and holding each other and just “being with” one another. I want that too!! I want it dammit! I need it I CRAVE IT!!

I want a man in my bed AND my life. As a single and pretty self sufficient woman, I forgot how NICE it was to wake up with another human being lying next to me. I mean, I love my dog and all, but there is no comparison to human flesh on human flesh intertwined breathing on one another. For the first time in a very long, long time, I woke up with an ACTUAL smile on face. God, it felt so gooooo-oood that I almost wish it wouldn’t have happened at all because I want it full-time.

To those of you that have this – I hate you (just a little bit.) I covet not your man, but your relationship. Don’t take it for granted . . . .