Friday, May 30, 2008

How cute is she - or, why my dog chews my shoes

So, you know I love my dog more than anything right? Right. Really, I just need to get a life or a boyfriend that I can change to my liking (and then find EVERYTHING wrong with him and break up) - but until I do, my dog will be my outlet for fun and entertainment.

Here's the latest reason she'll probably destroy the new sandals that I bought last week.
Seriously though, she has to have a hat/shades AND scarf for car-rides, right? Right.

Don't worry. I've made an appointment with my doctor to up my medication.

"Your shoes are soooo in trouble"

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Mr. Fed Ex Man just brought my new phone!

Yippie! It's finally here! My new Cell phone!! I know, it's just a cell phone, but I'm one of those dorks who hasn't upgraded her phone in at least 5 years. Yes, I've had the same boring phone for at least 5 years and actually, maybe longer b/c when I last upgraded I just traded my sis in law for my EXACT same phone because mine had broke. Don't ask me why I did that, only reason is because I already knew how to use my phone, and I'm too lazy to learn another one. But two days ago I decided it was time for an upgrade and, after talking with a very flirty customer service rep named Brandon, I now have the new and exciting LG enV2 V Cast Messging Phone! (whatever that means)

Here's what I know so far - it's soooooooooooo cute and it's Maroon and Black and flips open like a book! And, now when I text (oh yes, texting I know - THIS technology hasn't passed me up) but now I will be able to text much faster b/c I have a REAL KEYBOARD to type on!!!

Brandon told me that it has a much better camera than my old phone (2.0mp) and because it was so much newer than my older phone he insisted on sending me a new car charger and he threw in a cute leather case for my pretty new phone. Thankyou Mr. Brandon : ) OK - he didn't exactly throw in the case and charger, but I bet if he could have he would have - whatever stupid Verizon sales rules.

I bet Brandon was sooooooooooooo cute, he sounded cute. Oh well, everytime I look at my new phone in it's leather case I will think of my little Brandon. Well, until I get a new case because, frankly, the little black leather case that he sent? It's actually ugly so now I will go shopping for a cute phone case - ooohhh I bet Coach has cute case. Hmmm... I'll check out More like ebay or some other lower price store - at $4/gallon, I'm on a budget these days.

Anyway, back to me and my new phone. It also comes with Bluetooth - THIS technology is very new to me so for the next hour, or however long it takes for my new little phone to charge, I'll be reading my Tips, hints and shortcuts book.

Ta Ta!!!

Such a Pretty BAD DOG!!!!!

OMG! I hopped into bed last night totally excited to read Jen Lancaster's newest book -
"Such a Pretty Fat" only to discover that my Best Dog Ever - Daisy Dog, CHEWED my book while I was at work yesterday!!!!!! UGGGGHHHH.

She is officially the Worst Dog Ever today.

Actually, just for about 15 minutes last night when I banished her from the bed - but then realized I couldn't fall asleep with out her - but that was a LONG and MEAN 15 minutes for her - OK, mostly for me but whatever.

I was so upset for those 15 minutes that I couldn't even READ!! Now I tell you, I don't know which is worse, to see my new pristine book mauled nearly to death or being so distraught that I couldn't read!!! To make matters even worse, WHAT IF the Great Ms. Lancaster comes to a bookstore near me?? How am I supposed to take THIS book and have it signed??

SIDE BAR -- Ms. Lancaster, if by some MIRACLE, you do read this post - PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE come to Akron/Cleveland Ohio or at the very least, Columbus - which is loads of fun and has FABULOUS shopping.

I guess I will just tell her to take it as a compliment, (along with the cupcakes I'll bring for both Jen and her dogs) I mean, Miss Daisy Dog has seen me reading and definitely heard me laughing at Jen's past books, maybe Daisy wanted to see what it was all about. Hmmm... Oh well, at least she only got the back of the book - she really would be in trouble (I'm talking a whole hour or maybe two) if she would have ruined any pages!!

I still love the Daisy Dog and, for those that know me, those 15 minutes really was tougher on ME than her. That damn dog!!! I love her so!!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Road Trip

Did someone say “Road Trip?” (Ok, so my friend Amanda is having a contest to win Jess Riley's new book but this trip really did happen!!)

I’m a recruiter for a large jewelry retailer, and as said recruiter, I am required to travel all over the United States to help recruit managers and sales associates for the 15-20 stores we open each year. Here’s the cliff notes version: My job is GREAT. Really, I’m a single and fabulous female and I get paid to travel to places like San Diego, Ft. Lauderdale, Las Vegas, New York City, and Chicago and also get to go to the malls! See dad? All that time I spent in the malls when I really should have been in class really DID pay off!!

Ok, so I don’t get paid THAT well, but what I do is shop the mall stores and jewelry stores and look for top notch sales people and then try to recruit them out of their current job and work for our stores. So that, in a nutshell is my job. Of course, I have other duties but this is about a road trip right?

Every year I attend a job fair that is held in San Diego – see my job is FABULOUS! About two years ago, I took my BFF, Kelly with me. I have loads of frequent flyer miles and hotel points so it was just a no-brainer. And really, what best friend, with a 2 year old, and one on the way, she had just found out, wouldn’t want to be invited to San Diego? Her life was about to change dramatically and we took this opportunity for our last “girls weekend” for awhile. Her husband Matt goes hunting with the boys for a week every year, so she had to go! She could lay out by the pool while I worked the job fair on Friday and then we’d stay the rest of the weekend enjoy the West Coast life. That was the plan.

Here’s how that plan worked out. We left our lovely town of Akron, Ohio reeeeealy early Thursday morning. Kelly spent the night at my house and even though we’re in our thirties, we giggled and acted like 12 year olds at a slumber party. At 4 a.m. we dragged our 30+ year old bodies to the airport but our 12 year old brains were giddy with excitement for our upcoming adventure. Once on the plane we make ourselves comfortable, knowing that as soon as we take off, we’re going to fall asleep right away. Fast forward five hours and we’ve landed in sunny San Diego.

While on the plane we concur, from the map in the back of the Continental In-Flight magazine, that Los Angeles doesn’t look like it’s that far from San Diego. Magellan, just call me Magellan since I'm so good at reading a map! We immediately decide that we have to go to L.A. It’s a vacation right and on our first day, we’re going to see and do everything. After all, Thursday is my travel/free day and I really had to do was set up everything for the job fair and that wouldn’t take more than an hour, with Kelly there to help, it would be more like 30 minutes. Los Angeles here we come!

After getting our bags, car rental and grabbing a bite to eat in downtown San Diego we head to the hotel to check in. We get to our room and change from our “Akron” clothes to our more fun “San Diego” clothes. (It was October, in Akron, that could mean snow suits and since it’s 70+ degrees year round in San Diego, this required a wardrobe change.) An hour or so later, new clothes, makeup and job fair booth set up, and a quick stop at McDonalds for the $1 BIG GULP size Coke (we may be in California, but we’re pop drinkers and on a budget) we’re on our way to Los Angeles.

Ok, remember when I said we are from Akron, OH? Well, the definition of traffic in Akron has a completely different definition in California and we were about to be schooled. We get on THE 5 and head north. Side note here: I have been traveling to California for several years now and I will NEVER understand why Californians refer to the interstates with the word THE. Nowhere else in the US (or at least in Akron since I can’t be sure of the entire US) do the interstates start with the word THE. Maquest simply states Interstate 5 North. Not THE 5.

Whatever, we begin our journey. We’re off to a great start because there are so many lanes to choose from! I think I counted 7! We’ll make it there in less than 2 hours with the way I drive I think to my self. WRONG! Wrong, wrong wrong, WRONG!!! We started out at 75-80 miles an hour for about 20 miles and then abruptly slowed to about 30 for the next hour and a half. No wonder books on tape were invented. Oh well, I’m with my BFF and we make the best of it. We’re singing to all the songs on the radio. Justin Timberlake’s Sexy Back was the song of the moment and we sang it like we REALLY WERE bringing Sexy Back. To this day, every time Kelly or I hear that song we call the other on the cell phone and play it into our voicemails and reminisce about San Diego.

As we continue our slow trip north, Kelly says that we need to think of a name for the baby. She tells me what she and Matt have tossed a few around, but they don’t have a favorite yet. So, being the 12 year olds that Kelly and I are, we start looking around and notice signs like “Escondido” and “LaJolla” and we start saying them out loud as if they may make the cut. “Escondido Sanders” or "LaJolla Sanders" (pronounced LA – J-O-L-L-A instead of the correct La-Hoy-ya pronunciation). The three and a half hours, instead of the two stated by Map quest, went by quick since we were so busy “Bringing Sexy Back” and coming up with a name for Kelly’s new baby. Honestly, if it would have been a boy, I really think Escondido Sanders had a nice ring to it!!

We finally get to Beverly Hills because we decide in between singing and name making that what we really want to do is see “Reege –Bev- Wil” (if you haven’t seen Pretty Woman by now, I’m not EVEN going to explain this to you). We also want to go to this store called Lush because Kelly’s been there once in Washington DC and they don’t have one in Akron or Cleveland, OH. And really, that’s all it takes for the two of us to make this decision.

After several failed attempts at finding the store with our own navigational powers “go this way, it looks like cool shops are down that way.” We called 411 and got Lush on the phone for their address. We learn that we’re only about 10 minutes away which is great, because I really have to pee, but they close in 15 minutes. Are you freaking kidding me? We just drove three and-a-half hours for this place and we’re only gonna have FIVE minutes to shop?? I speed up and we finally find it in on Beverly Hills drive only to find NO Parking. So, panicked that we’re going to miss out on all the fabulous hair and skin products (and WE are PRODUCT whores) I drop Kelly off and tell her to let them know I’m on my way!!

I drive up and down Beverly Hills Drive about four times and see only one spot available in front of The Gap and it’s a “loading zone only” spot. I figure I’m going into a store (ok, not The Gap, but still) and I’m going to buy stuff that’s going to need “loaded” in my car right? Right. I park the car, what do I care? It’s a rental, give me a ticket! We’re talking BEAUTY PRODUCTS here that I can’t get back home! I race down the block and literally long jump over a homeless man with a cardboard sign asking for spare change. I know, I know, it’s pathetic, I’m going into a store to purchase $8-$12 bars of shampoo/soap and this poor soul just wants to eat. (Or buy booze, I tell my self.) I can’t help myself and plus, I’m parked in a “loading zone.”

Out of breath, I walk into Lush and the aroma of all the soaps and lotions and bath salts quickly make me forget parking/moral dilemma and my unexpected cardio activity. I’m surrounded by crates and shelves of Fresh Handmade Soaps with names like Bath Bombs and Bubble Bars and Shower Jellies and I just float from one area to another. Hair, face, body and fragrance products, oh my! Luckily the sales gal was loads of fun and thought we were cute and hilarious (umm... hello?) as we told her about our plan to bring sexy back to Akron. Forty-five minutes after closing time and $150 of soap and shampoo later each (mom don’t read this) we were on our way back to the rental and thankfully no ticket. We were so excited about our purchases that we totally missed the “Red Carpet” event at Gucci that no doubtably had A-list celebrities there. (Of course it did, because we were RIGHT there and WAY more excited about handmade SOAP!!)

It’s now 8pm and we are STARVING! We should head back to San Diego because I have the Job Fair in the morning and it’s going to take us three hours to get back. But, how can we go back now? We’re on such a high and we haven’t even seen anything yet, and we’re paying attention now. So, we drive by the Reege-Bev-Wil just to say we did. Then we head towards Hollywood of course saying in unison “Welcome to Hollywoood. What’s your dream?” We drive up and down Hollywood Blvd and mock all the street walkers and weirdo’s that we don’t normally see in Akron, OH and decide our hunger is more important than sight seeing. We have cable. We’ll watch Rachel Ray’s $40 a Day or something. WE ARE HUNGRY. We decide on the first restaurant we see that has outdoor seating. Again, it’s October and there is NO outdoor seating in Akron, but in California there is! We’re seated at Chin Chins on Sunset Blvd and we start talking about Melrose Place because the opening credits had a picture of the Sunset Blvd Sign. Dork Girls Who Don’t Get Out Much is now our new official title.

We scan the menu and decide that EVERYTHING looks good so we order like eight appetizers. (What? We’re going to share.) We have so much food that we need an extra table to hold it all. Apparently nobody in L.A. eats or would ever need two tables to hold their food, but they hadn’t met me and Kelly yet! The food was fabulous, and the people-watching (mostly them watching us gorge) was super fun.

It’s now 9:30 and we are FULL and so OVER the L.A. scene. We hop on THE 5 and head back to San Diego. Since it is so late, I figure it will only take us the MapQuest 2 hours to get home. I think wrong. Did you know that October is when all those fires take place in Los Angeles and San Diego? Yeah neither did Kelly and I. Our trip back consists of more singing, name making, and smelling . . . not our soap purchases but smoke, heavy, dense smoke. Not only does our drive back take the full three and a half hours, but we have to smell like a camp fire for the entire thing. Guess what we did? Sang camp songs of course!!

The rest of our weekend went pretty much like our trip to Beverly Hills. It was the best Road Trip ever and we still talk about it to this day (almost two years later). Regretedebly, Kelly and I only have our memories of this trip (and more than likely soap products because she hoards them – seriously girl, how can you not use them right away?) because after our first and only picture with the digital camera we decided that we were too fat for pictures deleted even that one. (So, in our memories, we’re HOT)

Kelly had her baby, a girl, that following June and guess what she named her? No, not La Jolla or Sandy Eggo Sanders, but wouldn’t THAT have been great? (C’mon Apple, Coco, Suri? Is Sandy Eggo really so far off?)

Ok, she named her Jillian! I of course, didn’t get that she named her after me because my name is Jill, I don’t have the “ian” on my name. Once I figured it out I was like “awwww. . . she’s going to be the coolest kid!”

Told you I was a Dork Girl!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Me - Driving Miss Daisy

Hello - my name is Jill and I'm new to the whole 'blog thingy' but here I go. I'm in my 30's - I won't divulge which side of 30 I'm on it's depressing enough to be 30 and not 25 anymore (and 25 was depressing since ALL of my friends were married by then except of course, me. ) Anyway - I'm a single girl from the great state of Ohio and live in Akron, OH, to the express way - which is really helpful since I'm always running late to work. Have worked at same job for 8+ years and usually get talked to about my punctuality every quarter. I really do like my job, I just like sleeping more. Oh well. Things that will never change - my punctuality.

I have the best dog in the world EVER. Well, Ok only I think that - but still, she IS the BEST.

Her name is Daisy and I got her about a year ago. I had recently lost my BESTEST dog Roxy (ok, Bestest is not really a word, but she was the ORIGINAL BEST DOG).

More on Roxy another time - I don't feel like crying all over my first-ever blog.

So, needless to say, I was super depressed and I decided to get another dog RIGHT AWAY. (like 7 days after Roxy died) (Shut up! It was plenty of time to grieve, plus I'm over 30, single and needed a pal to hug and cry with).

I found Miss Daisy dog on and when I saw her face - I just melted. She was in rescue group that was about 45 minutes away from my house. So, one Saturday afternoon, I drove to just "meet" her. I told myself I would not fall in love with her right away and I would NOT take her that day even if I wanted to. "Yeah right" my friends and Mom mocked me. So I get there and meet her - and yes I fell in love with her but just to prove my point I told the people I had to think about her.

She was a 2 year old (or so they think) lab mix. In reality - I think she's younger and she's not a lab (everyone says everydog is a lab mix when they don't know what it is) She is NOT lab anything. (except that she's the COLOR of a blonde lab - that is IT) I think she's got terrier in her and some Shar pei perhaps. Either way - she's the CUTEST dog on this Earth! She also had puppies, but they had been adopted - I bet they were WAY cute.

So, I drive back home and in that 45 minute drive, I decide I have to have her - I can't chance that someone else will want her. I'm not even in my driveway yet and I call the rescue place and tell them that I want her and can I come back tomorrow and get her. Of course they said yes - they're in the business of rescuing these lost souls for the dog lovers like me to give them a forever home. So the next day and another 45 minute drive, I become the owner of Miss Daisy Dog.

On our drive home, I re-name this dog to Daisy (who's previous name was Olivia. As in Olivia Newton John. Exactly - I HAD to change it). So, since Daisy's are my favorite flower and I love to take my dog for a car ride I come up with Daisy Dog and from then on when we go for "car rides" I am Driving Miss Daisy.