Monday, September 29, 2008

Little old ladies . . .

Even though my day started off not so great, it ended with a HUGE smile.

Ok - so I ran to the the grocery store tonight to pick up dinner and a few other things (you know the drill, you go in for butter, and come out with eggs, 10 packs of frozen veggies b/c they were 10 for $10?) See this blog (round 3) to see how that's going to end up.

Anyway - I'm checking out and as I'm bagging my things (yes I use the self check out - because the 14 year old they have working the register? Yeah, I like my bread ON TOP of the groceries and soap/chemical products? Yeah, I like them bagged SEPARATELY - I'm weird like that, I know.) So, I'm bagging my things and I see this this kid (probably about 20-22) walking by with his jeans pulled down half way around his ass. I know I'm getting old(er) but I will never, ever get this look. Ok, I got it when Marky Mark did it in the "Good Vibrations" video - but he wore cute Calvins and it was ONLY the waist band of the Calvins that showed - not half of his ASS!! Although - hindsight - might not have been that bad.

Ok - back to my point - I'm sorry, my brain is still in vacay mode. So, as he walks by - half ass showing and all - I must have given a dirty look or a look of disgust (really he didn't even have cute underwear on - I mean if I HAVE to SEE IT - it better be cute or designer - and it was neither.) So there I am, dirty look giver, and this sweet little old lady (I swear she had to be 80) comes up to me and says: "I bet he thinks he's all that and a bag of chips. I just hate the way they wear their jeans like that."

Honestly, I thought she was going to yell at me for giving the dirty look - like maybe this kid was her grandson or something - based on how my day started - it really wasn't that far of a stretch.

But wait! There's more!

That's not ALL she said.

This is sooooooooooooo funny - you better not take a drink or anything . . . .

Seriously - I'm warning you - this is HILARIOUS . . .

She then says, "they (the kids) wear them that low, like they're hanging off their wieners!!"

People - this was the SWEETEST little old lady and she said WIENERS!!! I thought I was going to die! I am not making this up!

I think I just caught a glimpse of myself at 80 years old.

Rock on grandma, rock on . . . .

Curb your Dog . . .

Ok - so I just got back from taking my Delightful Daisy for a morning walk (something I wish I could do everyday - but alas, I don't have that much vacation time.) So, you can imagine, since I'm using up a precious vacay day today, that I am thoroughly enjoying my walk with my dog and don't want it to be spoiled by anything or any ONE. Well, that was not the case this morning. I had just hung up with Dave and had told him that Houdini (aka Daisy) had gotten loose on Saturday and in the 15 minutes (or less) that she was gone - it looked like she may have gotten into a fight or something - as she was missing a tiny patch of hair around her collar.

I really don't think she got in a fight - the patch is quite small - about the size of the tip of my pinky - but non-the-less, hair/fur is missing - so I wonder . .

So, Dave tells/yells at me that one day "that dog" is going to mess with the wrong animal or person and will get itself hurt or killed even. (he's doing this to get me going). I have a fenced yard, I keep her chained when she's out front, she's got her license and pretty much EVERYONE in the 'hood knows she's my dog. I know the consequences and try - my very best - to keep her contained. This is why she ended up with me in the first place - she was a rescue that kept getting loose and running away - and ended up in the pound. What can I say? She's like me - she's got a free spirit - that's why I love her so much!!

I tell Dave that IF that happens and she is hurt or God forbid, killed then THAT was her fate.

It will also be my fate to live out the rest of my days in JAIL because I will have KILLED or at least MAIMED the person/animal who hurts my precious POOCH. (ok - that's a joke - sort of.)

I have a point to this story- I promise - and here it is: about 10 minutes after I hang up with Dave I pass a house where someone is backing out and going, I presume, to work. They get about 6 or so houses down the street and then they SLAMMMMMMM on their brakes and BACK UP THE ENTIRE WAY - past their house and stop in front of ME and DAISY. Ok, so I'm a little freaked out and apprehensive right now. This (psychotic) lady then rolls down the passenger window and says to me - "I see your walking your dog but you don't have any bags with you" (the pooper scooper kind). I give her a nasty look and say, "yes I do they're in my pocket." (which they were.) Instead of saying, ok, I'm sorry or I'm glad you're responsible for your dog or ANYTHING along those lines - she CONTINUES to yell saying "well, SOMEONE lets their dog poop in my yard and I don't appreciate it."

Listen you old bat - I just got done telling you that I HAVE BAGS WITH ME - I AM A RESPONSIBLE DOG OWNER! Don't effing continue to yell at me, be on your miserable way.
THIS was the response I WANTED to say to her. What I said was "well it's not my dog." - Wooooooo - I bet I scared her.

I SHOULD have asked her if she drives around the entire neighborhood yelling at all dog walkers about the poop in her yard. I SHOULD have told her that she should be THANKFUL that she doesn't live in the neighborhood with the SHORT BUS and have Logan roaming the streets - ha ha!!

So much for a nice walk. . .