911 what's your emergency? Can you hold?

Ok - so I didn't want to ruin my 2 week run post with this bit of news, but I have to get it out.

So, right as I'm heading out for my run tonight (which now, I've just become to lazy to get in my car and drive to the park - so I'm actually running in my neighborhood, at night so NOBODY sees how bad I look while running.) Well, as I'm on my way out the door, I'm talking to Dave who is reading today's news online and he tells me about this "gang thing" that happened TOO close to my hood.

Ok, so I'm sooooooooo not up-to-date on anything newsworthy (except MJ - and all the "behind the music" and True Hollywood Stories of the man) to actually know what Dave's talking about. He gives me the quick low down (and scolds me for not actually knowing about it because apparently it made the BIG news - like National news) and get this, back on the 4th of July - I guess a "gang" of like 40 -50 kids started a fight the night of the fireworks near my neighborhood. This "gang" severely beat a guy and his brother that put him in the hospital with like $17,000 worth of medical bills. NICE. And I'm running in this neighborhood.

Now, I realize that this was an isolated incident (at least I'm HOPING that's all) and that there are bad things that happen all over the place. But this is REALLY too close to home. And of course, our LOVELY police department? Yeah, Keystone Cops at best. They have arrested NO ONE. Again, NICE City I thought I lived in.

Oh, and when the victims brother called 911 for help? Get this: He. Was. Put. On. HOLD. Yup - a 911 call about 40 GANG BANGERS beating two people to near death? HOLD PLEASE. Your call will be answered in the order it was received.

Fabulous.

According to the newspaper, the FBI has been called in. We'll see what transpires. You know who we need? Horatio Caine. and ooo la la, the boys from CSI Miami. They'd have this cleared up and all the gang bangers in custody in like, 45 minutes (or may, 90 minutes - you know, if they like had to involve CSI NY). Either way, I think they'd have a better chance of catching the 'bangers' than our loserlocal PD.

Now that I think about it... I'm going to keep running. Especially since I can't move right now (thanks economy). I'm going to need to be quick on my feet.

Week Two....

I did it! Week One of running is down and I'm on to week 2.

Ok - so I clarified it for Dave that I'm not actually RUNNING THE ENTIRE 20 MINUTES, but I am running. (90 seconds of running/120 seconds of fast walking - alternating for 20 minutes) Again - if you want to see the program - it's called The Couch to 5K.

There are 9 (yes 9) weeks to this program and I'm down 1 - got 8 more to go (for those of you that are too pretty -like me - to do math.) And by "those of you" I mean Dave and if anyone else is still here reading.

Anyhoodle... I honestly thought I was going to die tonight - a friend of mine is a couple weeks ahead of me and tells me that it does in fact get easier... but I'm not sure I'm buying it. Especially since week 3? Yeah, I'm supposed to run for 3 whole minutes at a time! Oh. My. God! I don't know if this running thing is for me or not. I'm going to give it another week and then, we'll see about week three.

Oh and another thing... you know how "they" say that exercising releases all these endorphins and such and you're supposed to feel great after the exercising is done? Yeah, NO. It's soooo. not. happening. that way. for me. The ONLY thing I'm loving after all the running is over? Is the fact that it's O V E R. Yeah, maybe I feel a little sense of accomplishment when I get home. Of course, this all comes AFTER the hyperventilating and catching of my breath. And of course when I return to a LESS BRIGHT shade of RED. Oh, and the sweating? Dear God and Baby Jesus it's not even hot here and I SWEAR I've lost about 30 pounds in sweat! How do people do this day after day and during the summer??

Well, that's all for now. I'm going to crawl to my bed where I'm sure I'll crash and burn once my head hits the pillow.

See ya in a couple of days!

Extra Extra - FREE all about it!!

There's a giveaway going on right now peeps!! You have to go over to: Clevergirl's blog and check out this awesome giveaway from Jupiter Freedom.

And - how mad that I didn't come up with this idea in the first ding dong place - not the giveaway - I'm not THAT nice. I mean the purse thingy - ummmm? hello genius idea!! Ugghh I hate when someone comes up with a great idea before me!!

Oh well - check it out - maybe you'll win!

OMG!! OMG!! HE'S COMING. HERE. NEXT WEEK!!

Ok - remember my story about the Best Man from my Best Friends Wedding? No? Well, let me refresh your memory. Go ahead, read on.... I'll wait.

So, guess what? He's going to be here. In my hometown. Next week. And we're having dinner!!

Ok - so I don't know if it was at HIS request, but he's coming to visit my best friend and her husband and WE ARE ALL having dinner. OMG!!! Is it possible to lose 50 pounds in 5-6 days? (ok, without removing an appendage?)

Seriously - I'm sick to my stomach right now - I'm sooooooooooooooooo nervous and excited at the same time. Which stands to reason that I will inevitably FUCK IT ALL UP.

I wish I was in a better place right now - emotionally. I'm still unemployed and down in the dumps about it. But, I'm getting better about hiding that (ok, I'm not. I just wanted to see what it looked like in type)

Also - he's not working right now either - same deal happened to him - losing his job, blah blah, fuckin' economy, blah blah. Now this, right here, would usually be a red flag to just ignore and move on from a guy. You don't have a job? Or can't afford to keep up with me? Next. But, well, nowadays? There's not much to keep up with. Gawd, even a plasma donor has more money than me right now.

I don't know all the 'tails of his upcoming trip and I'm really not getting THAT excited about it because the last time he was supposed to come to "these parts" it didn't happen. But, a girl can hope right? Sheesh.. I need SOMETHING to look forward to.

Stay tuned and I'll let you know how it goes..

Ok - so it's been three days instead of two

But, I ran. Again! And this time - well, it was still hard and my head pounded like a Metallica (sp) concert, but I didn't die and it took me about the same time as last time. That stopwatch function on the iPod is too cool. It's counts your laps and it even recorded my last run. (EVERYONE but ME probably already knows this.) Which by the way was almost the EXACT SAME TIME as I ran today! Hmmm.. 10:30 must be when my body is "OK with running."

So, YESTERDAY was supposed to be the day that I ran -but I had to work ON MY FEET all day yesterday and when I got home - I was just too pooped to run. Add to that, on Saturday night my neighbors had their annual pool party and I was drinking Long Islands like it was my job or something - well, running would have done NO BODY any good yesterday. It was a Big Mac, Large Fries and Ice Tea kinda day. Needed. Grease. To. Soak. Up. Alcohol. (and to keep me from hurling all damn day.) Ugggh... why does alcohol taste sooooooooooooooo good going down and why can't I stop at my 3rd or 4th drink instead of my 13th or 14th?

But back to the run. It's still not fun and I'm sure I still look like an escaped mental patient - what with trying to catch my breath on my 90 seconds of fast walking in between the 60 seconds of running. I didn't sweat as much today - but it was cooler today than it was last week - I think anyway. There was, this really cute guy there - but I'm sure he took one look at me and prayed to himself - "please don't let the fat girl pass out in front of me." I know, I need to stop making fun of myself. But, the old Shopgirl would have seen this guy a mile away and either turned around and ran back to my car to leave the park or just hid until he passed - but still left. This time - I just kept my (slow) pace and thought to myself - keep it up sister - in 9 weeks (the length of this program) you'll (hopefully) be a different girl and who knows? Maybe I'll be keeping pace (or passing) him!

Running Progress chart:
Shopgirl's 1st ever run - July 10th, 2009
2nd run - July 13th, 2009
3rd run - planned for July 15th, 2010 (ha ha! I mean 2009!)

See you in two days!!

Oy Vey - what a weekend.... NEVER been so glad to see Monday get here!

So, after my slow start out on Saturday (see this post if you really have NOTHING BETTER to do) I finally got my butt out of the house to run some errands and try to hit a few garage sales (the ones that didn't close because of the rain.)

I was actually in a pretty good mood, starting out... The sun did come out and it looked like it could be a nice day. So I hopped in my car and headed out. I first had to go to the dog pound - and this is where it all went downhill.

You see, Friday night my nephew's dog (which he acquired through a "friend" - at least that's the story we got) went missing. And said dog had been living with my nephew in my parents house (long, annoying story about his living conditions - so I won't even go there) for about a week or so - it's been less than a month. Anyway - this dog - "Powder" was a Pit Bull. At least we think that - I honestly don't think it was a pure pit - but who knows? I'm thinking that if it was PURE PIT - whoever had it before would have kept her - I mean even for the most horrible reasons - like to fight her or at least to breed her. But anyway, he had this dog at my parents house. They already had 2 dogs so this was not a good situation to begin with.

But, it turns out that this dog was a really, really nice dog. She was well behaved (for being bounced around like she had been - she listened well and truly was a nice dog.) Don't believe me? My LAB puppy (you know, labs - they're supposed to be the NICEST dogs?) well, my lab BIT this "pit bull" in the face - and while she did defend herself - it was MY nice LAB that started the fight and continued the fight. Powder, once told to back off, did. Unlike my NICE Lab. This "fight" was nothing more than a couple of dogs having a power struggle and we just ended up separating my puppy from Powder because she got along well with all the other dogs. MINE was the bitch. (Imagine that)

Ok, back to the story of this weekend. So Powder - got lose from my parents house. She found a spot in the fence that she could push up and got out. (see? she didn't even DIG) And, well the first time she did that (I think it was Monday) they were able to get her back. Actually a neighbor brought her home -because get this - she saw the neighbor walking HIS dog, so Powder just went on their walk with them!! Again - nice and a TRAINED dog. My dog DAISY? Yeah, she would have been soooooooooo gone it's not even funny. Powder (the big bad mean pit bull - ha ha) befriended a stranger and his dog and joined them on their walk. Powder should be the POSTER Dog for all pitties!!

That was Monday - come Friday, Powder got out again - (yes, they should have chained her - we have gone over all the should haves and could haves this whole weekend) and unfortunately she didn't come home Friday night. My nephew looked for hours - I went out there that night and drove around. Nothing - she didn't turn up on Saturday morning. So that's what took me to the pound.

I got there and of course they had her. And this is the part that really pisses me off. At everyone - the laws about pitts, my nephew for bringing this dog into the house and our lives, my mom and dad for letting him do it - not laying down stricter rules for my immature nephew. (who is over 21 years old - so it's not like he's 10 or something - he should know better.)

Anyway - the dog was picked up Friday afternoon by the pound. She wasn't hurt or hit by a car or anything - thank GOD. And she didn't hurt anyone or bite anyone - PRAISE JESUS. But, she was deemed a Pit Bull and would now have to be registered as a Pit and I believe that my nephew will have some fines to deal with because he didn't originally register the dog. But, please - how many people rush right down to the pound or where ever and get licenses for stray dogs that they find or take in? I never have. Once I've decided to keep the dog - I've then gotten them licensed. So, I'm thinking that a low percentage of people actually run right out and license and/or register strays. Don't even get me started on cats.

Now, this poor dog is going to be put down all because of it's breed. Not because SHE's a bad dog. It's because of the breed. That just SUCKS!! I think we (well, my nephew) could have gotten her back - but he'd have to register her as a dangerous dog (yeah right - she befriended a strange person and another dog and joined them on their walk - yup - total definition of a DANGEROUS dog.) And then, there's the task of getting or keeping my parents home owners insurance. I'm just sick about it all. And that's why I'm pissed. It's not even MY dog. My nephew brought this dog home and I met it like once or twice - but being the crazy dog lady dog lover I am, I'm heartbroken that this good, nice, sweet, loving dog is going to be killed - probably as I'm typing this.

The only thing that is keeping me somewhat calm is that at least I know what has become of her. She isn't being used in a fighting ring. She isn't suffering (well.. I won't go there) because she got hit by a car or being mistreated my some cruel person.

But she's going to lose her life because of some stupid rule. There are plenty of other dangerous dogs out there. Dalmatians are mean, obviously labs (my precious pup) can be mean, LOTS of dogs CAN be mean. But because she's "deemed" pit - she's automatically a risk. If she was a lab mix - she'd be at home (on a chain -since she's a runner) and enjoying a nice sunny day.

So, this post is dedicated to the LOVING AND PRECIOUS Powder. I wish I had the money and power to fight for you... hopefully in your last days (minus this weekend) you found peace and happiness as every good dog deserves. Correction - as EVERY DOG/Animal deserves.

This and that...

It's pouring rain outside right now which has really fucked mucked up my plans of driving around with the top down (on the car) in search of garage sales. I've been pretty good this summer - haven't hit many sales (still unemployed right now) and honestly I just don't want more junk in my house. But a couple of weeks ago, my mom and I spent a Saturday in the convertible, got some sun and great deals. I got a couple new (to me) books - and my mom got a bunch of new baby clothes for the grand kiddies - that seem to be at EVERY garage sale.

But since it's raining I have to come up with a plan B.

Oh, I also CAN'T WALK THE DOGS in this weather. Although, I think they'd be FINE walking in the rain - but to go outside and do their business? Ummm.. 'no mom, I can't get my fur wet' is the response I seem to get from them. Whatever... Diva Dogs. Honestly, I can't blame them - I don't even want to go out and I can use an umbrella - so really? They come by this behavior naturally. Shut up now, Dave.

So, as I sit here trying to come up with plan B; clean the house? NO. (I have next week to do that - unemployment CAN have it's benefits.)
Clean my room? NOPE - Unemployment or not -I don't foresee that happening anytime soon.
Eat - Check. (I'm bored - what can I say?)
Call best friend who's on vacay? - Got voice mail. - so not the same when you have scoop.
Do some CRACK FACE BOOKING - find out that one of my "Scott's" (see THIS post) is moving to TEXAS!!
Call best friend again - DAMN YOU VOICE MAIL!!!

Yes, the ORIGINAL Scott is moving to Texas! (Well, technically he's not the Original - but he's the first of the 5 Scott's that I slept with.) But anyway.... And, OK, I don't even see/talk (except on FB) to him anymore. And, he's married with kids, but still, he's moving? To TEXAS? I mean, like that's, REALLY far away!! It's not like he's moving to another city within this state, (where I COULD- IF I WANTED to, STALK HIM) but noooooooooooo he's moving to TEXAS!!

As I said, I don't even see Scott any more, or (really) have feelings for him but it's like the end of something - what I don't know, but whatever it is, it's coming to an end. I actually found his post yesterday that said he was Texas bound, blah blah blah. Something about his Bitch I mean, wife getting a promotion. It's all her fault. (yes, I'm 12)

So of course, I commented on his page and was all "what's in Texas?" oh, and "travel safe" (hoping that this was just some sort of vacation/trip) And all of his other FB friends did the same thing too - so I'm not THAT much of a stalker) and all he said to me was that, and I quote: "wife got a promotion." See? It IS the wife's fault!

I don't even know why this is, um, upsetting? I don't think that's the right word. Maybe unsettling is better. But like I said before, I don't see him or talk with him, but I guess this is just the end of something. Another person/thing that has moved on from my life. Uggghhh. I so badly want this year to be O V E R. Nothing good has come of this year. Well, at least not yet. Maybe all these changes are leading up to something grand? (doubt it) but I'll remain hopeful since I really don't have any other alternative.

So that's all for now - I need to go to SOMETHING. It's almost 1pm and I'm still in my PJ's - Wrong? Maybe. But I did shower - I just haven't finished what I started. Which in a nutshell is my life.

Run Shopgirl Run!

That's right - you heard read correctly. The Shopgirl RAN. Not for her life. Not for a Twinkie, not even for a sale rack. She just ran. But, unlike Forrest Gump, I didn't just run and run and run. I only ran for about 20 minutes today. But still, I RAN people!!

For those of you that know me. You KNOW I don't RUN. For. Anything. Ever. Even when I played Softball back in school (I played for 10 years) I didn't run - I was the catcher - pretty much so I could basically SIT behind the plate. (I COULD and DID throw the ball to 2nd base with little effort and my favorite thing in the whole wide world back then? Stopping ANY BITCH that tried to get past home plate.) But running bases? Nah... I made sure I hit that ball far far away - so I didn't have to hustle to first or second base. I just never got into running. My friends ran track and cross country back then -but I always had (and still do even after the reduction) big ta-ta's, so running? Pretty much out of the question.

I've always envied runners. Most of them make it look like it's so much fun and effortless. I mean - look - I just typed the word "runner" in my search bar and this is the image that came up:

Look how peace-ful or tranquil she looks. Runners also get to wear the cute running pants and tops - and a fun and bright colored sports tank or even bra because her body/torso are so fit and firm. I mean NIKE, ADDIDAS, SAUCONY and NEW BALANCE were all INVENTED for runner’s right? (C’mon – what did you expect from me, SHOPGIRL – you KNEW it was going to be about the outfit right??) Ok, back to runners - you see them everywhere, on vacation - uggh running on the beach. And you bet your ASS they're thighs aren't rubbing together so badly that they're not only getting chaffed but possibly a small fire breaking out between their thunder thighs. No, THEY'RE thighs probably don't even TOUCH - much less MOLEST each other the way mine do when running (or walking or standing still, or well, you get the picture.)

On my lunch break at the old job, I'd pass all the runners and think to myself – ‘I should give running a try - it might clear my head and reduce some of the stress I'm feeling here.’ I thought about that every day, pulling out of the office and on my way to Chipotle or Panera for my 1000+ calorie lunch. An hour later, I'd roll myself back to my desk in a Mexican/carb induced coma and think "tomorrow - tomorrow I'll work out.” Of course that never happened and I have the extra 30 pounds to prove it.

But you see, (here come the excuses) the problem - besides trying to move 100+++++ pounds at a quick-ish speed - is that I don't look like the tranquil runner losing herself in her own thoughts, clearing her head of the days events, brainstorming for a better way to solve the current crisis back at her desk. No, instead I look like an escaped mental patient not running, but thudding along, while flailing my arms in what would appear to be some psychotic episode, gasping and wheezing for my next breath. Instead of cute jogging pants I'd have plain running pants (no cute patterned ones for me - since they don't come in my size) and an oversized t-shirt to conceal my flabby (instead of toned) torso. The only thing brightly colored on ME would be my FACE. It would be twenty seven shades of red and I'm sure people who passed ME on the side of the road, would consider dialing 911 before they ever thought that what I was doing was meant to be an exercise of mental release.

And now that brings me to here, today. At XXX pounds (so. Not. Telling. So don’t even ask) I, Shopgirl aka Thunder Thighs, just ran. And I didn’t die! I didn’t look cute either, but I didn’t die and I didn’t quit. Let me tell you this, there is NOTHING tranquil about running. Nothing. I’ll say it again – just incase you didn’t fully comprehend that. There is NOTHING tranquil about running. Well, at least DURING the running part. I did feel great and even a couple hours later – still do! Like I’ve said before – I’ve always envied runners and have always wanted to run in a marathon (ok a short one) but still, I wanted to do it. And I don’t want to walk it. I want to run (most of) it. So, one night I was on CrackFacebook and saw that a friend of mine from high school posted that she just completed her first run. Being the noseyinquisitive mind that I am, I commented on her status and found out that she is trying The Couch to 5K Running Plan. (I’m not advocating this plan – nor am I getting paid for doing it, so if you’re interested in it – look it up.) After reviewing it - which it isn’t anything really all that new, I’ve seen similar plans in Health magazines before; I decided to give it a try. That was last week (or maybe two weeks ago). What? I procrastinate – deal.

So, I finally got myself up this am and decided to go for my first run. My friend is a week ahead of me (yes, I know we could have run together and motivated each other and yada yada yada – shut up.) and she told me that on her 3^rd day of the plan she didn’t feel so winded and was actually looking forward to her second week. (We’ll see how that goes for me) She gave me a few tips and last night I charged my iPod and figured out how to use the Stopwatch function. Who knew that my iPod had a stopwatch? I didn’t, that’s fo sure! And this morning I got myself dressed in my boring black Capri length running pants and XXL Blue T-shirt (it WAS a Tommy Hilfiger – had to throw in SOME cuteness) and headed to the park to try out this running thing. What? You thought I’d just run in my neighborhood on the sidewalk? Pfft! My neighbors already think I’m a dork – I don’t need them seeing me trying to RUN.

So stay tuned to find out if I go for my second run on Sunday. According to the “Plan” (which is 9 weeks long) I’m supposed to give myself a rest day in between runs. And since I’m ALL ABOUT following rules, I’m going to rest as I’m told. Now, if I only had a job, I could use my “rest day” to go out and buy cute running shoes (Nike and iPod have this combo stopwatch/trainer thingy that I MUST have.) and a cute little outfit/cap-visor/new sunglasses (you know, for the sun glare on the running path) and a new water bottle for all the H2O I’m going to be drinking. Stimulate the economy indeed. Would somebody hurry up and hire me already? I’ve got 6 months of shopping to catch up on.

See you in two days!