It’s all about the bennies (benefits that is)

So, it’s been about two and a half months since I was laid off from my job, and sadly I’m still unemployed. But, that’s not what this post is about. Today I want to talk about something that has/is on my mind all.the.time. BENEFITS. Benefits are an important part of any job – I know, I am was a recruiter and I talked these points up during EVERY.INTERVIEW.I. CONDUCTED.

And now, that I’m UNEMPLOYED, it’s ALL.I.THINK ABOUT. Well, that, AND the PAY of my next job (will it be the same or better than my last job or am I going to have to take a cut.) But it’s mostly the benefits. Alright, I think about the Benefits and the “WHEN” I’ll actually LAND a job. Because it would be nice to know how much longer I’ll be sans-job. It would also be nice to get a job while I still have some severance coming it because my bank account could use a much needed boost right about now.

Back to the benefits though. I’ve been doing a LOT of thinking about the benefits. What will my benefits be like at my next job? Because this time around? I’m making sure I get a “great” package.

Of course I’ll want:

· Medical
· Dental
· Vision
· 401(k) – well, maybe – we’ll see how the stock market is doing.
· Stock options
· Flexible Spending Account
· Hmmm.. travel … but maybe a little less than the last job.
· Telecommuting
· Flexible schedules
· FAT Expense Account

Ok… so the last three would be nice to have but aren’t deal breakers.

Now, on the other hand, being un-employed DOES have some benefits. Don’t believe me?

Look what the girls and I got to do today, on April 2, 2009 in OHIO where the weather was a BALMY 70 degrees!!

I was out catching some rays too - even got myself a sun burn too - but I'll spare you the pics - as I'm not "picture perfect" yet. You'd think with all this "time" on my hands, I'd be little miss work out queen - guess my walks are not working the cardio as well I'd like. Guess I'll have to work on that, and well... my tan!

This wonderful moment in the sun with my poochers was brought to you by the state of the unemployed.....

I'm back (and, at warp speed!)

Woo-hoo! I've got my computer back!!! No more sitting in a library that needs to be patrolled by POLICE!! Sheesh - I thought I lived in bo-dunk city, OHIO - not Compton or something like that from the movies... (I'm such a white girl.....)

Anyhoodle - I'm back - for a minute anyway - just to say "hey!" and brag a little about my "computer fixing" experience. This guy that I took my computer too, fixed/cleaned out and added more memory to my computer and has me all current on the latest and greatest software updates and he did it all for under $40 and 2 days!! I just love when I get a bargain AND excellent customer service!!

Seriously - my computer is O.L.D. and if I had the money (and a job) I'd just go buy a new computer - because I really want a lap top now - but for $40 (instead of $500+) I have a faster computer than I did 2 days ago and I got the nicest guy ever to fix my computer. He did the same thing for my dad's computer for only $20!! (mine needed and got, more memory.)

So - now I can upload, download and blog blog blog at the speed of light (well as fast as the internet connection, that I can afford right now, will let me) - all in the privacy and SAFETY of my own house!! I too, have a security system in my house - no gun toting law man -but I have these two security features that will protect their master on command:

Yeah, they look all cute and cuddly - but look at THESE choppers: (BTW: it's the LITTLE puppy that instigates all the fighting with Daisy....)

But, SERIOUSLY? Here's how they REALLY feel about being on GUARD DUTY:

What could be worse than losing your job and the only interaction with peeps is via the internet?

Well, for starters? NOT having your computer for THREE WHOLE DAYS!!! So, I'm sitting here at the library on a S L O W internet connection trying to log onto my blogger account and checking emails and it's literally like watching paint dry.... Seriously I know that the internet is FREE and all here at the library - but does it have to be this SLOW?? And, I know I really have NO WHERE TO BE right now -being jobless and all, but that doesn't mean I have ANY MORE PATIENCE. Oh well, I think I get my computer back tomorrow and woo hoo it will have MORE memory and the guy tells me that it's running a WHOLE LOT FASTER!!!

I wish I could install a memory chip into my pretty little head and make my old lathargic ass move a little faster - wouldn't that be great?? I also wish that I could remove about 100 pounds of useless fat from my ass and my gut, but hey, if I'm dreaming? I'm going to go big. Speaking of big - I'd get new boobs too. Not bigger - just perkier. Whoa - sorry, maybe that was a little to much TMI for a Friday and in a PUBLIC LIBRARY no less, sorry - sometimes I just type the randomness that is in my pretty little head.

Today I'm at a nicer library (not the one in my hood.) Here, people are ACTUALLY quiet. The Library in my hood? Actually has a COP on duty - given the look of the clientele yesterday... I pretty much understand, but seriously - when did they have to have POLICE OFFICERS in the public library? I live in a small town - or so I thought, but I guess it's not a crime free town. Sad - can't even go to the library and feel safe. Or maybe you can - since the "law" is there.

Well this post is pretty much going nowhere - I just felt like I had to get some of these really meaningless thoughts out of my head and since I was sitting in front of a computer (even though it's not mine) I thought I'd unload here.

A better post will follow - I promise...

Where do I even start . . .

It's been sooooo long since I've posted here - I'm not even sure I know how to do it anymore. Awwww... who am I kidding - it's like a bicycle (or sex) no matter how long it's been, once you're back in the saddle - it all comes back - um right? Well, maybe - because it's been a LONG time since I've been on a bike and well, about the same amount of time for the other since I've blogged. YIKES!!

Well, lets see here - what's been going on in Shopgirls' world?

Unemployment:
Ok - so minus the fact that I'm earning a paycheck - I am enjoying my time at home. I wish I could hit the lottery or something or wish my house was paid off -because, I think I could be really good at this "stay at home" gig. The "shopgirl time" (well, minus the actual SHOPPING) is AWESOME and plentiful - WAY, WAY better than my last gig - where I only had weekends off and no Personal Time Off at all, however, the benefits and the actual pay well, to put it bluntly - SUCK ASS. But this year? On St. Patty's Day? I didn't have to use ANY vacay time and I got to party at my leisure. How great is that??

This past month in Ohio has also been VERY SUNNY - some days were even down-right WARM too - I got to enjoy EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!!! I've worked in my yard, walked my dogs and have visited friends in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY!!!

Oh - and MIGRAINES?? I don't think I've had ONE since January 21st!!! (my PAROLE date of the former job) Hmmm.... connection? I think so!!

Oh,, and NAPS!!! Why oh why did I fight NAPS when I was little? NAPS are AWESOME!!! Especially around 1 or 2 in the afternoon and with a dog on each side of me in bed.... AWESOME.... Why don't they have Nap time in Corporate America? Well, they do - they're called MEETINGS but why is the actual "napping" frowned upon? I guarantee - if we could actually NAP for the HOUR PLUS bull-shit meeting the EXACT same results would be reached.

The job-hunt:
Well, I have no funny stories about resume searches -because, like I stated - I'm UNEMPLOYED and no longer have access to review resumes and look at the silly reasons people list for leaving or ridicule their incredible spelling errors. My resume, however, is posted ON. EVERY. SINGLE. WEBSITE. OUT.THERE. (Hopefully, error free and "recruiters making fun of me"-free.) I am interviewing this week so that's a good thing. Hopefully something will come of that.

Dental DisPleasure:
Today, I went to the dentist. Usually this is not blog-worthy, however, this was a new dentist and can I just tell you? I think I'm in LOVE with this dentist. Not because he's hot or anything like that - because he's not. It's because, this is the first time in my 30+ years of going to the dentist (I have REALLY bad teeth - even though I brush and floss regularly), that I ALMOST - ENJOYED my visit!! I know! AND, I even had TWO cavities filled!!!

Ok - I know, you are nuts shopgirl -but listen, I usually end up crying like a big fat baby when I'm in the dentist chair. Not because I'm scared or anything -it's usually the pain and believe it or not - I have a small mouth (shut up now, Dave) and to keep it open (seriously Dave, shut up) for them to fill a cavity? My TMJ goes into overload and I'm just in total pain. Ok - so I still freaked the fuck out a little bit today when he gave me the "shot of Novocaine" but after that, it was a BREEZE.

They had this thing-a-ma-bob that propped my mouth open and had a light in it so the dentist could see AND it had a suction thing on it so I didn't gag the entire time. It was FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!!! My doc filled those two cavities AND took several molds of my mouth (I'm getting a LOT of dental work done) in less than an HOUR!! AND??? my jaw didn't hurt at all AND I had no headache from it all AND?? No tears!!! OMG - is this how going to the dentist is supposed to be??

You see, I used to go to this NAZI other dentist who was just PURE EVIL... He was is a total PRICK and has this "I'm God" attitude. I should have switched dentists a long long time ago, but honestly, I'm just too lazy and even though he's a douche-bag, he was a pretty good dentist and in all my years of going to the dentist? I've never, ever had a "pleasant" doctor - EVER. So, today?? I can't even tell you how AWESOME it was.

And - you know what's even better? This dentist that I went to? It's my OLD dentists' back up doctor. I only found him because while my prick dentist was out of town, I had a problem and called this new guy - and the old secretary picked up and we started talking and she told me that I should come see this guy from now on. She left the old dentist to go work for this guy and so did another gal from the office - it's hysterical!! And, I'm not the only patient that has "secretly" left the old prick to go to the new and improved one!!

Puppyhood:
I've changed my puppers name AGAIN. This time I think it's for good. Her name is Sassafras - or Sassy for short. It's because she IS little Miss Sassypants. Every. Time. I. Tell. Her. No... she "sasses" back at me!! So, Sassy suits her just fine. She is soooooooooooooooo smart tooo!! She is pretty much house broken/potty trained (no.... she doesn't use the potty) she just knows NOT to potty in the house. But, if she DOES have to potty, she uses the puppy pads (4x4 maxi pads - that I wish I would have invented because I'd be rich - and I could stay at home!). She enjoys driving Miss Daisy absolutely bonkers, and I thoroughly enjoy this to no end.... They (Sassy and Daisy) are soooo stinking fun to watch it absolutely makes my day to see them play and romp and wrestle with each other.

Sassy had her first vet visit last week. Not cheap - thank God I only have one more round of shots (for a while anyway) and hopefully I'll be gainfully employed (or will hit those lottery numbers) by the time she needs "fixed" or else I may be taking up a collection.

Well, that's all for now... I guess I should prepare myself for my interview tomorrow, because I DO have to get back to work..... eventually anyway..

I have a favor....

So - today I have a request from any and all of you. I have volunteered myself to be the "unofficial" PR person for my church. What can I say? I'm out of a job - there are no job prospects in sight (even cashiering at Payless, Walmart and the local grocery chains - turns out - my job WASN'T so bad.) and I have to do SOMETHING productive. So, since my major WAS Public Relations - I figured, I could try to help out with the promotion of my little church.

Little Church is one of our biggest problems. Our membership has been declining the past couple of years and we'd obviously like to build it back up. We have lots of fun things going on at the church, i.e. Movie Nights, Spaghetti Dinners, Musicals, Brunches, etc. but the problem is: ATTENDANCE.

I think the root of this problem is the ADVERTISING - or lack there of. Do any of you belong to a church that has these kinds of activities? If so, what kind of attendance do you have and how do you get the word out? Of course - we'd also like to advertise our church services as well - I'm sorry to get ahead of myself - I'm thinking of all the "activities" and not the important part - the service and fellowship.

Also - does your church have a website? We do - but it needs "tweaked" and that's what I'm hoping to do. If you have a website - are any of you in charge of it or do you know who does it? I'm new to web programming -but have a lot of time on my hands now to learn (that's supposed to be funny - given that I don't have a "paying" job right now)

Any/all help suggestions that you could offer/share with me would be very much appreciated. Thanks in advance!
Shopgirl!!!

And we have a name.... I think.....

Ok - so if don't know about the new addition to my family... go here first.

So, at last post - I have a new little one in my home but she was name-less until today. At least for now anyway - there's always a chance I'll change my mind (I'm prone to doing so) but, I think I've come up with a cute name for my new puppy.

We all know about my girl Daisy - and how for the past two years she has been literally the center of my universe. Ahhhh to be a dog and to wind up at Shopgirls' house - it's total heaven.
Anyway - since I have a Daisy I wanted to give the new pupper-doodle a "flower name" as well. So, after much thinking, Internet googling, and just plain trying out several different names (who knew there were sooooo many names of flowers?) I think I have it.

I really liked Lily - but, my that is my niece's name and don't think it would be appropriate to call my dog that name. But, after trying:
Sweet Pea
Butter-cup
Tulip - or Tula
Poppy
Blossom
and even Dahlia (my original thought - but when I actually looked up the flower Dahlia? yeah... it's not a pretty flower - to me anyway - so um, no...)

So I was back to the flowers I like. Well Daisies are my favs and Tulips are my second favs but then when I look at the pup - she just LOOKS like a Lily. What's a Shopgirl to do?

I then started looking at "other" types of names - names with a meaning - no flower connection at all. But I couldn't find anything. I kept going back to Lily. Then I thought about some of my travels, and thought about my favorite places. Hawaii - looked up all Hawaiian names (but really? I'm not going to be able to spell any of them) Then it hit me. One of my FAVORITE places to travel the last couple of years was California (specifically San Diego), but since she's not a HE - Diego was out. Then I got it! Cali-lily or Cali for short.

What do you think (not you David) I know, you wanted Petunia or Daphne or Daffy (for daffodil) or Pansy, but: No. No. Maybe. and Possibly.

It's between Cali and Tula. At least for now . . . .

So, is she a Cali or a Tula?

Thank God and the Baby Jesus . . .

So, if you haven't heard about my cell phone dilemma - go here first.



Ok - so are you all hyped up now?? Can you believe it?? 600 FUCKING FRIGGIN DOLLARS!! I know, and I can assure you that I was just making my typical calls to my usual contacts and then of course all those folks that I've called regarding a JOB - since I have none right now.


So, after FREAKING THE FUCK OUT reading over my cell phone bill, I called up Verizon (free 611 call) and talked to someone in Customer Service. This gal was actually nice and sounded like she truly wanted to help me. She did change me into a better calling plan so this FUCKING BULLSHIT unpleasant episode won't happen again. I can now call people who are not on the Verizon plan and I won't be pillaged for it. Then, she said she'd give me a one time "courtesy" credit. GREAT! I was thinking, and this is what I THOUGHT I heard her say: "I'll be able take 40% off your current bill." Woo-hoo! I thought - that's like almost 1/2 (hey, I'm too cute to do math) Anyhoodle this sounded great!

But, as everything in Shopgirl's life - this was not what she ACTUALLY said. What she DID say, was that she could take 40% off of the minutes I went over my plan - which was like 600 minutes. So, it was a ONE TIME COURTESY CREDIT of those 600 minutes - not the rest of my bill. (which was about $100) Ok, a credit is good and all, and I'm GENERALLY not one to look a gift horse in the mouth (is that the way that saying goes? B/c it really makes no sense to me) Where was I? Oh yeah, so I'm like - ok a credit of $100 but that still leaves me with a bill that's still close to a house payment or 2 car payments.

All the while, I'm thinking to myself - I pay like $80/for 2 lines and we USUALLY only use about 700 minutes total. (sometimes more - but not 600 more) Oh, the second line? Moms and Pops - I want to know I can find my 80 year old parents where-ever they may wander.

So, if I'm paying 80-ish for 700 minutes and I've gone over my bill by another 600 minutes - in MY PRETTY LITTLE HEAD the bill should be like 160 (80 +80) or possibly 200 for all the other b/s (taxes, fees, fees for those fees and taxes - you know). But not $500!

By now it was 11pm and I was just too tired and too upset to call back. So, after a less-than-restful night I got up this AM and called back. Of course I got a bitch not-so-nice customer service rep on the phone and she REFUSED to help me at all because I took the ONE TIME COURTESY CREDIT - and if I wasn't satisfied with that I should have said something last night. Now it was too late. UGGGHHH!! Well, I didn't KNOW I had the right to refuse this credit and ask for more. So I asked her what kind of help they could offer me, because right now? being unemployed? I don't have $500. At least not for a cell phone. Yes, I want to keep in touch with my peeps - but $500? Can feed me for a couple of months or pay my car for a few months.

Do you know what she said? There is NO PAYMENT PLAN... UNTIL... YOU'RE ALREADY PAST DUE. What the fuck is wrong with companies? I'm trying NOT to be a DEADBEAT here... I'm trying to WORK with this company so I can remain a GOOD customer, but you're telling me that being a customer for almost 20 years (I got a cell phone at an early age b/c my sis worked for Verizon way back then) and mostly paying on time - you won't help me until I'm already in the negative??? Yep - that's what she was saying to me. This kind of thinking just blows my fucking mind - no wonder people are buying houses they can't afford and letting them foreclose - there is no good reason NOT to. I wish now, that I would have bought my MILLION DOLLAR mansion and lived there for as many years as I could have and not paid anything - because now? I'd probably be getting some NOT DESERVED help.

Defeated and just plain fed up... I hung up and went on with my day. I figured, FUCK IT, let them turn off my phone - I'll just go to another carrier and get another phone, because I AM NOT paying $500. They won't be able to call me if they turn off my phone! But, I just wasn't raised this way (dammit) so I tried calling Verizon again. (I also, don't want to get another phone, get a new number, it's all just too much and it shouldn't be this hard.)

So, I called Verizon for a THIRD time. Explained my situation for THE THIRD TIME. To a THIRD CUSTOMER SERVICE REP. Got told a THIRD TIME that I was already give a COURTESY CREDIT. But this time, I wouldn't let up - I was nice, but stern. I didn't beg, but matter of factly, told the CSR that this was in a nutshell, bull shit and why not just help me out instead of watching my account go unpaid and ultimately end up in collections. Well, after about 20 minutes of banter and 'checking my account' and 'speaking with his supervisor'..... I received another credit which ultimately cut my phone bill pretty darn close to 1/2 of what it was last night. (Like the way I originally thought I heard the FIRST CSR say.)

It's still a lot of money-and I'm convinced that Verizon is NOT losing anything. PLUS, they are keeping a customer and a HAPPY (sorta) one too. I now don't have to be the deadbeat that companies these days want you to become and I don't have to change my phone number or get a new phone that I'm sure I wouldn't know how to use anyway..

Thank you Baby Jesus and Bill the Verizon guy....

The Moral of my story? If at first you don't succeed, try and harass and keep calling back until they credit your account dammit!!!!!!!!!!