Scary Mary . . . oh you poor girl . . .

Do you remember the scene from “The Breakfast Club” where Molly Ringwald’s and Alley Sheedy’s characters are re-doing Alley’s makeup? Ok – so I ‘m showing my age here since I believe this movie is like almost 20 years old now and, have you seen the JC Penney advertisement that mimics the whole running through the hall scene? Anyway – back to my story.

Do you remember when Molly says to Alley – “you look so much better without all the black shit on your eyes” to which Alley retorts “I like that black shit”? Well, I think I met Alley’s mom, Mary, today. Just back from the local Wal-mart in Akron, Dee-Marie (http://deemarie917.blogspot.com/) and I met Mary while we were on our lunch break.

Poor Mary, she needs a good girlfriend to tell her that a little makeup goes a long way and not the other way around. Mary or Scary Mary, as I’ve lovingly re-named her, is a horrific mess. She’s Mary Kay on Crack. You know how you can’t look away from a train wreck? THAT’s Scary Mary.

First let’s start with the Orange lipstick - yes, I said Orange – not coral – but Crayola Crayon Orange. (And, let’s be honest here – it was more so on her chin than her lips.) Second, was the eyeliner – and let me tell you – Mary, er Scary, took this one LITERALLY. Her ENTIRE eyelid (top and bottom) was outlined and it was a THICK outline – not a thin little line. The pièce de résistance, however, were her painted on eyebrows. I have to give Mary props though, because they WERE arched perfectly, however, they were not-so-natural-brown in color.

If I could, I would have taken her picture – but you’ll just have to take my word for it – the woman truly is a train wreck only this one you CAN look away from. I honestly just wanted to go back and grab some make up re-mover wipes and scrub her face until it squeaked. Oy! Her skin must be screaming for air underneath all of that make-up.