Friday, December 5, 2008

Part Deux - Is he or isn't he?

For those of you that are new or simply don't remember (because it's been that long since I first posted this story) - read this first.

So, you really want to know ‘eh? Is he or isn’t he? My boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, LOVER, husband, wasband, or indeed: GAY?? Well, you’ll just have to continue reading to find out. Don’t bother skipping to the end – because I’ll put it somewhere in the middle, sorry – my sandbox, my rules!

Picking up where I left off, I went back to work on Monday at the station more confused than ever. Was he or wasn’t he? Could he be interested in me or am I just working a (very low paying) job at a radio station because I think some boy is cute? CD’s and concert ticket, while fun for a college student, do not pay the rent nor help you move out of your parents’ house any faster. Well, days turned into weeks which turned into months before I got anywhere with him. Turns out though, I liked my job and was quite good at it.

After the wedding, the two of us became friends – we’d go out occasionally but it was always work related. He’d have a “nite-out” that he was DJ’ing and I’d always go – you know, to support (stalk) a co-worker. I’d like to say I was always calm, cool, and collected during these times – yeah, I’d LIKE to say that. I was more like a psychotic jealous girlfriend who would watch him like it was my JOB or something. Seriously, if any girl came up to him I would give her the evil eye and immediately appear by his side asking if he “needed anything.” (umm? Hello jealous head, he was a DJ at the local radio station so he was kinda popular so girls would come up to him.) It’s a wonder he became my friend at all, looking back – god, I’m a mess!

It was obvious to the staff that we were friends and probably I that I was DIGGING him big time. I’d like to think that it wasn’t that OBVIOUS – but the word subtle is not in my vocabulary. (Then or now even.) Rumors were also flying around the station that he was INDEED gay. This just made me sick. The more I got to know him, the more I wanted to make him mine. (“I will love him and squeeze him and call him George.”) I just passed it off because most of the rumors were coming from one of the sales guy – Ron – who if he WASN’T gay, then my ‘gay-dar’ is seriously off. Yes, Ron was married – but, he was so cute and pretty (yes, I said HE – Ron was cute and pretty – boy-band pretty.) and his wife, well, she was just plain – not ugly, but not what you’d expect him to be with. Plus, Ron was such a girl – he gossiped like a girl, worried about his looks, weight and hair like a girl. A complete mo. This was all I needed really, to dismiss his theory that MY Dave was gay. Ron, I thought to myself, "YOU are just jealous and want Dave for yourself."

But, these rumors got the best of me and I just couldn’t stop thinking that maybe it was true. One day, Dave came by my office and I don’t remember what he did or said exactly, but my reaction to him was “You’re such a faaaaaa------” (Side bar: I called EVERYONE a FAG back then – I know, it’s not PC but whatever, if you were being a duechebag, you got called a fag by me – male/female anyone really.) I didn’t actually say the whole word, I only got out faaaaaa and caught myself. (too late however. ) he stopped, dead in his tracks and “looked” at me and I just said (I really did) “I’m not calling you a FAG, but you’re being one.” He just smiled at me and on he went and I just knew, DAMMIT, he IS.

And that was that, I would now be his friend, which let me tell you, took A LOT of pressure off of me. I didn’t worry about “looking cute” every day (well, yes I did – I don’t care who you are, I’m going to look cute everywhere I go.) But I didn’t have to look “cute” for him. I also didn’t care if I talked with him every day or not – I think I actually became a better employee at this point, because I wasn’t constantly walking around to make sure he saw how cute I looked or talking to him to make sure I got enough “face time” with him. Don’t get me wrong here, I still “hoped” he wasn’t and I was naïve enough back then to think that he might “change”, but we all know that that did not happen. So, friends we became.

He had a party not long after that. A couple of people from the station were invited and once we met his boyfriend K, it was no longer a mystery. K was awesome and I immediately liked him – which is odd, thinking about it now. Here was this guy, who was making out with, sleeping with and doing everything that I wanted to with Dave and I didn’t want to scratch his eyeballs out or pull out all of his hair. How big of me! Of course, there was LOTS of alcohol involved that night, but even so, I just thought K was the best. They of course had the cutest house, decorated very hip and they collected antiques. I OBVIOUSLY didn’t see all of this when I was there before the night of Lynn’s wedding – it’s impossible now, to ever think he was straight. No 25 year old STRAIGHT guy would have such a well put together house. Again, I was naïve and didn’t know any better. That night I met all the gays and the lesbian neighbors too – it was so fabulous.

I worked with Dave at the radio station for about 2-3 years – I had moved onto outside sales with the station and let me tell you – selling AIR TIME is the hardest thing in the world to sell. I gave it a year and then I quit, took a job about an hour away, completely out of radio. I would listen to Dave during his time slot on my drive home but we didn’t really stay in touch. I’d see him out and about, here and there but we actually lost touch for about 3-4 years.

I don’t know how or when it happened but I was at my current job (which was about 8 years ago) and Dave and I started hanging out and meeting up for drinks again. He had quit radio completely, which I really thought was sad, because he does have an awesome radio voice. We both had jobs now where we got to call the shots with the radio sales people. It was great.
Dave and I would meet every week at a restaurant/bar downtown after work for drinks/dinner or mostly drinks. This is when our fun REALLY began. Like for instance, did Dave and I get married to make our mothers happy? Did we go on separate honeymoons? Did Dave and I fight over the same guy(s)? Why didn’t Dave want me to meet our now infamous “Jerry?” Did Dave have a boyfriend that NOBODY liked? Were there man-capri’s involved? I guess you’ll just have to tune in for Part III!


  1. Thanks for finally posting Part Deux!! Even though I knew at least part of the outcome, it was nice to see the rest of the fun. Can't wait for the next installment!!

  2. Well now I'm dying to know the rest of the story! I had a gay bestie once, too. It rocked.

  3. Yeah, make that three peeps that want the next installment.

    On a radio note, I know what you mean. I interned at a radio station in CT for a summer and would hang out with the jocks from the competing station. How I did NOT know one of them was gay, I dunno. I still adore him (and he's moved on to TV now) but yeah, why the hell I crushed, I dunno *LOL* so this tale definitely made me flash back.

  4. make that 4 peeps!!! I can't wait to read the rest....and I KNEW he was gay!!! ;)


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