So much to say.... so why can't I blog all about it??

Have you ever been in a place in your life where you've just lost interest in everything that you once loved to do? Or, in my case - have you ever gotten so excited about something, hobby, past-time, or even person and have gone full-force, full throttle with all the passion in your being, only to find yourself later not even remotely interested in said activity? 

Well, I've felt that way my whole life.  I'm very much an "in the moment" kinda girl.  I like NEW things - to try NEW stuff.   I get super excited about something (photography, scrap-booking, traveling, writing or blogging) and then BLAH... I hit a wall and I lose all interest..  My $500 camera (and all the "extras" that I had to have that would make me a better photographer) and my THOUSANDS of dollars worth of scrap-booking shit products, and now, by blog sit idle wondering where I've gone and if I'll ever come back. 

The sad thing is.. is that I want to, but yet here I sit and try to write a blog and while it is somewhat theraputic about putting my feelings down on paper (or into the blogoshpere) it is so. incredibly. hard. to keep typing.
I have soooo much I want to write about yet my mind feels like a pinball machine and my focus is as chaotic as that ball bouncing from side to side and back and forth until eventually it goes down the drain.  

So today's post (while incredibly short) was an exercise to get me back in the game.  According to the "experts" out there, it's all about baby steps and goal setting.  So, today's goal was to write something, anything... and I did that.  It's not my best work and it's not as long as my previous (and more enjoyable) posts have been, but I did it.  And I didn't even need a brand new shiny lap-top to do it. 

You see, I think and I keep telling my friend Dave (and myself) that if 'I only had a LAP TOP' then, THEN I'd be able to write again - you know, because now that I'm unemployed and have ALL THIS TIME on my hands - I could go to cool places like Starbucks, Panera Bread, Borders - where the Wi-fi is FREE - because I'm on a BUDGET and I could become the "serious" writer that I want to be (and once was.)  Because? No.One. writes at home!  NO!  It's all about the mobility... right?  Yeah, that's it....

THAT and going out and buying something NEW.  Hmmmm.... seems to be a pattern here....

Manic Monday

Patsy Cline sang it (and Willie Nelson wrote it) best:

Crazy
Crazy for feeling so lonely
Im crazy
Crazy for feeling so blue

I knew
Youd love me as long as you wanted
And then someday
Youd leave me for somebody new

Worry
Why do I let myself worry
Wondrin
What in the world did I do

Crazy
For thinking that my love could hold you
Im crazy for tryin
Crazy for cryin
And Im crazy
For lovin you

Keeping it legal y'all: 

Written by willie nelson
(as performed by willie nelson)
Also performed by patsy cline and ray price

Update... and I'm out of my PJ's....

My TO DO List:

1. Clean Room - almost done.
2. Clean Bathroom - worst job in the house.....
3. Organize/Clean my home office  - aka - catch all - I don't know where to put it so it will just go into my "office" room.  So. not. looking.forward. to. this. item.
4. Clean livinging room.
5. Laundry - DONE!  (believe it or not, I LIKE to do laundry... I know, I'm weird.) - found more - but it's DONE now too!
6. Kitchen - done last night - also like to clean the kitchen - don't like to cook -but like to clean...
7. Pick up dog doodies in the yard  - ok - this is the WORST JOB IN THE HOUSE. - going to have a beer first (if there's any left... if not?  VODKA it is...
8. Throw up from performing task number 7 - if Vodka is involved?  Tossing my cookies is a certainty....
9. Mow the lawn.
10. Drink Vodka... lots of Vodka.  (I could mix item number 10 in between several of the earlier tasks.) Check, Check and Check!!


I just love crossing things off the "to do" list!!

So much to do... so much to do... why am I so lazy?

So, I've been off work for about 8 months (or so) now and as I look back at those months? It seems like I've accomplished nothing.  NOTHING!!  It's sad - all the time in the world and nothing has gotten done  - lots of things/projects were started, but nothing has been completed.  My TO DO list is long yet my tenacity is short (lived).  Why is it that sleeping until God-knows-when feels so much better than getting up and accomplishing anything?  Why do I love my jammies so much (and it's not like I have cute PJ's or even LOOK cute in them)?  Why am I addicted to crack Facebook?  I swear, it's my only (somewhat) real connection to the outside world right now.  I hated my office job so much and WISHED to be able to be home all day - now?  I've gotten what I've wished for and I love/hate it.  I love being home but I hate not being able to talk with, er, about to anyone. 

So, as I sit here today, in front of my computer (still in my PJ's) and try to compose anything that resembles a blog, my house continues to remain a pig (well, in my case dog) sty.  Ok, so when it was just me and Miss Daisy Dog, I thought I had the dog hair under control.  It wasn't that bad and when I was working? Saturday mornings were my "cleaning" days and I could zip rather quickly through my house and remove the dog hair with little to no effort.  Now?  Two dogs?  And Sassy's hair is BLACK - and the dog hair has not doubled but QUADROUPLED.  Uggggh and the dust?  For the love of DOG BONES the dust is outrageous!!  No wonder I'm sneezing like a maniac. 

Would it be all that in humane to shave Sassy  - hmmmm.. a hairless dog... sounds lovely.. Fugly, but lovely. 

OK - back to reality, that dog hair isn't going to pick itself up out of the pile on the floor (which I swept it into) and put itself into the trash.  It will, I'd guess, double or even triple in size by the time I get back to it though.  So, off I go.. to finish cleaning my bedroom  - then, maybe if I'm not too tired I'll attempt the rest of the house.....

My TO DO List:

1. Clean Room - almost done.
2. Clean Bathroom - worst job in the house.....
3. Organize/Clean my home office  - aka - catch all - I don't know where to put it so it will just go into my "office" room.  So. not. looking.forward. to. this. item.
4. Clean livinging room.
5. Laundry - DONE!  (believe it or not, I LIKE to do laundry... I know, I'm weird.)
6. Kitchen - done last night - also like to clean the kitchen - don't like to cook -but like to clean...
7. Pick up dog doodies in the yard  - ok - this is the WORST JOB IN THE HOUSE.
8. Throw up from performing task number 7
9. Mow the lawn.
10. Drink Vodka... lots of Vodka.  (I could mix item number 10 in between several of the earlier tasks.)

So, I'm off internet peeps - no more Facebooking, time to get cracking... My goal is to be out of my PJ's by 3pm......

Concentration - easier said than done..

So, I've gotten myself a little writing assignment that could actually get published! One would think I'd be soooo excited (and I am) and that I would have started writing immediately and I'd be proofing at this very moment because I wrote 1000+ words instead of the 400-800 guideline. Well, you'd be wrong, unless of course you know me and that I procrastinate in every.aspect.of.my.life. Seriously, I'm not worried about dying because knowing me? I'll be late or have something planned for that fateful day and will have to postpone.

Of course, I should be writing my article instead of writing on my blog - but I can't seem to come up with anything for said article and well, it's been entirely too long since I've posted anything here. I figured I'd come over here, clear a few cob webs and dust bunnies and see if will help me get my "creative juices" flowing for this article that they want back by the end of this week (which is TOMORROW.) Yeah, no pressure.

Actually, I work better under pressure. I once wrote a paper in one night for a class in college that we were supposed to be working on the entire semester. Well, I have a hard time sticking with ANYTHING for more than about a nanosecond, so writing every day (hmmm... maybe I'd be a better blogger) just didn't work for me. So, the night before said paper was due - I wrote my little arse off. Actually, I went shopping for my upcoming trip to the Bahamas and then packed and then called some friends and then, then I wrote my paper. Shut up! I finished it and even got an "A" on it! So, I'm sure I can complete this article.. later... ha!

I am actually TRYING to complete it now -because even though they want it tomorrow and I'd probably have some time during the morning to finish it - I have a feeling that tomorrow - being Friday and all will end up being non-productive as most Fridays usually are (even for the unemployed.)

But, today of all days, my city decided that it would be a good time to rip up the road in front of my house and re-asphalt it. (no they're not completely re-paving it - THAT would make too much sense.) They are just ripping up a small portion (conveniently in front of my house) and throwing down some asphalt. Great - because the patch job complete with the crater like dip and all they did back in January was such a work of art - that I'm sure the work they're doing today with be a huge improvement. Seriously, who doesn't like it when they're house shakes every time a car/truck or squirrel drives over this portion of the road.

So here I am, stuck inside my house on my desktop computer, trying to concentrate and write this article and 5+ large trucks and 10+ men (not even cute) are outside making all kinds of noise. Perfect conditions for writing don't cha think? Did I mention that my house trembles Every.Time.They. Move. The. Back Hoe? No? Well, it does!! Not only am I not able to concentrate and write my article (yet able to blog about my lack of concentration) I now know what it's like to be a California resident during an earthquake measuring 4.9-5.2 on the Richter scale. I'm also not worried in the slightest, that my nearly 100 year old house's foundation, may crumble beneath me today. (hopefully the cadaver dogs will track not only mine but my dogs scent.)

Well, after sitting here in front of my computer for more than 3 hours not writing my article I'm going to attempt to get back at it. Actually I haven't been here the entire time. I told you I'm a procrastinator right?

Here's a re-cap of the past 3+ hours:
1. Made lunch - have all the workings of a Subway restaurant - made myself a "tasty" Turkey/salami/Am. Cheese with lettuce, mayo, mustard, salt/pepper, pickles mini sub sammy. And chips on the side.
2. Let the dogs out for the fiftieth time.
3. Let said dogs back in.
4. Showered and got out of jammies.
5. Did load of laundry - which I just remembered I have to run back down and put in dryer.
6. Went outside to "inspect" all this noise.
7. Talked with neighbors who's TV is obviously on the fritz as they are sitting outside just watching all the road work. Mine truly is, "the most entertaining city" in which to live.... E! will probably be here shortly.
8. Back on computer - but checked out crackFacebook - my friend is craving chocolate.
9. Now? So am I.
10. Can't think about anything but chocolate.
11. Back downstairs (away from computer and even further from completing article) to get "chocolate."
12. Back upstairs - only chocolate in house - Reese's Klondike bar. What would I do for a Klondike bar? Apparently, not write my assigned article.
13. Share last bites of delici-o-so Klondike bar with dogs.
14. Actually take time to look up how to spell new word: delici-o-so
15. Klondike bars? Messy - must wash hands.
16. Back at computer - ready to finish up this blog and hopefully my article.

Hmmm... and it seems like I do NOTHING all day...

911 what's your emergency? Can you hold?

Ok - so I didn't want to ruin my 2 week run post with this bit of news, but I have to get it out.

So, right as I'm heading out for my run tonight (which now, I've just become to lazy to get in my car and drive to the park - so I'm actually running in my neighborhood, at night so NOBODY sees how bad I look while running.) Well, as I'm on my way out the door, I'm talking to Dave who is reading today's news online and he tells me about this "gang thing" that happened TOO close to my hood.

Ok, so I'm sooooooooo not up-to-date on anything newsworthy (except MJ - and all the "behind the music" and True Hollywood Stories of the man) to actually know what Dave's talking about. He gives me the quick low down (and scolds me for not actually knowing about it because apparently it made the BIG news - like National news) and get this, back on the 4th of July - I guess a "gang" of like 40 -50 kids started a fight the night of the fireworks near my neighborhood. This "gang" severely beat a guy and his brother that put him in the hospital with like $17,000 worth of medical bills. NICE. And I'm running in this neighborhood.

Now, I realize that this was an isolated incident (at least I'm HOPING that's all) and that there are bad things that happen all over the place. But this is REALLY too close to home. And of course, our LOVELY police department? Yeah, Keystone Cops at best. They have arrested NO ONE. Again, NICE City I thought I lived in.

Oh, and when the victims brother called 911 for help? Get this: He. Was. Put. On. HOLD. Yup - a 911 call about 40 GANG BANGERS beating two people to near death? HOLD PLEASE. Your call will be answered in the order it was received.

Fabulous.

According to the newspaper, the FBI has been called in. We'll see what transpires. You know who we need? Horatio Caine. and ooo la la, the boys from CSI Miami. They'd have this cleared up and all the gang bangers in custody in like, 45 minutes (or may, 90 minutes - you know, if they like had to involve CSI NY). Either way, I think they'd have a better chance of catching the 'bangers' than our loserlocal PD.

Now that I think about it... I'm going to keep running. Especially since I can't move right now (thanks economy). I'm going to need to be quick on my feet.

Week Two....

I did it! Week One of running is down and I'm on to week 2.

Ok - so I clarified it for Dave that I'm not actually RUNNING THE ENTIRE 20 MINUTES, but I am running. (90 seconds of running/120 seconds of fast walking - alternating for 20 minutes) Again - if you want to see the program - it's called The Couch to 5K.

There are 9 (yes 9) weeks to this program and I'm down 1 - got 8 more to go (for those of you that are too pretty -like me - to do math.) And by "those of you" I mean Dave and if anyone else is still here reading.

Anyhoodle... I honestly thought I was going to die tonight - a friend of mine is a couple weeks ahead of me and tells me that it does in fact get easier... but I'm not sure I'm buying it. Especially since week 3? Yeah, I'm supposed to run for 3 whole minutes at a time! Oh. My. God! I don't know if this running thing is for me or not. I'm going to give it another week and then, we'll see about week three.

Oh and another thing... you know how "they" say that exercising releases all these endorphins and such and you're supposed to feel great after the exercising is done? Yeah, NO. It's soooo. not. happening. that way. for me. The ONLY thing I'm loving after all the running is over? Is the fact that it's O V E R. Yeah, maybe I feel a little sense of accomplishment when I get home. Of course, this all comes AFTER the hyperventilating and catching of my breath. And of course when I return to a LESS BRIGHT shade of RED. Oh, and the sweating? Dear God and Baby Jesus it's not even hot here and I SWEAR I've lost about 30 pounds in sweat! How do people do this day after day and during the summer??

Well, that's all for now. I'm going to crawl to my bed where I'm sure I'll crash and burn once my head hits the pillow.

See ya in a couple of days!