Friday, June 27, 2008

Just the three of us.

So, I'm packing up my scrapbooking supplies today for my monthly "Scrap Mania" tomorrow night - I know, I'm a craft geek. Really, I just like to buy all the scrap book stuff - papers/crimpers/die cutters/scissors/ribbons/glue dots and glue tabs - oh my! More on my SCRAP-BOOKING another time.

So, as I was packing everything up, I found this picture of me, Dave and Jerry from a few years back. Since this picture was taken "pre-digital," meaning before I forked over the money for a digital camera, I don't know exactly WHEN the picture was taken. On the back there is a date stamp of 12/05 on it, however, I think it was actually taken in September or October. I know it was the fall because of my outfit. I remember this outfit (it's still in my closet waiting for my ass to shrink) because I had KILLER tall boots that showed just enough leg below the skirt that you can't see. (Trust me on this one, I looked go-oood.)

Anyway, this has is one of my favorite pictures of the three of us (and it's not because it was shot while we were still sober) it's because we all looked FIERCE. (Seriously, we're a good looking trio here!) From left to right Jerry is looking so fresh faced that I just know he masked and moisturized the night before (with Clinique no less!) I, of course, have fabulous hair, (it really IS all about the hair product) and check out that plunging neckline - hello ladies! Dave looks so FABULOUS in his suit (you really should dress up more often.) And yes, Jerry I know you've got the Aveda product in the hair - it is perfect. You were the popular one that night!
And he was, too. After this picture was taken, the three of us headed to a charity event downtown. There was an open bar (or Dave paid - same thing) and Champagne. Not just ANY champagne, J. Roget (pronounced J Row-shhay!) There was also a strawberry tree - seriously it was a Styrofoam shaped tree with fresh strawberries on it. (Think Pretty Woman and the first night with Richard Gere scene.) What can I say? It was a fancy-sman-shy charity event. Once inside the event David promptly ditched us as he usually does because if there's alcohol involved it's going to get ugly with the two of us there.

A little back-story on me and Jerry goes something like this. We are good friends and get along great . . . until one of us has had too much to drink. Then it becomes every man (queen) for him/herself and we're fighting like Grace and Jack on "Will and Grace," because one of us isn't getting enough attention from Dave.

This is probably why Dave ditched us immediately upon entering the event. There were a lot of "big wigs" (woo-hoo the Mayor was there) and "more important people than me and Jerry" there, so off he went. It didn't matter to us, Jerry and I parked our FABULOUS asses next to the J. Roget and Strawberry tree and waited for people to notice us. Jerry of course was "chatty" with everyone and we entertained ourselves by talking to (and about ) everyone.
After picking the tree dry and downing about 2 or 10 glasses of champagne, I was summoned by Dave to join him for the charity auction that was about to begin. By then, Jerry was off being popular and talking to 'cute boys' so there was no getting him to join us. The champagne had clearly kicked in.

So the auction (show) begins with the host and some radio personality welcoming and thanking us for attending the event and that the bidding would begin. When I say "begin" I mean the host has a microphone, and, Jerry does not, so he decides that this is the perfect time to introduce HIMSELF to everyone. The hosts of the event tried to proceed with the auction, but there was no stopping Jerry. He is, after all, the Gay Katie Couric of Akron, and he'll tell you so too (like he told everyone that night.) Picture Harvey Fierstein, Jack McFarland from Will and Grace and Nathan Lane from Birdcage all rolled into one colorful package and you've got our dear friend Jerry.

And so the show goes on . . . the first item to be auctioned off that night was a lovely painting that the host proclaimed was just gorgeous and the bidding would start at $200. Then, out of nowhere, Jerry saunters up to the stage and grabs the painting out of their hands and says "It's $200 for the painting but not for me!" Talk about making an entrance. I couldn't help but giggle. A LOT. OUTLOUD. The rest of the audience, however, sat there in shock. I was immediately "hushed" by Dave as he tried to help the hosts gain control of Jerry and the show. Impossible - but fun to watch.

The auction went on, quickly I might add, and so did Katie (Jerry). After being yelled at by Dave he sat down with us, but not without comment, and then he was off again because he found someone (cute boys) more interesting than us to go chat with. The auction, and Jerry's performance, was quite fun and we (me) bid on a couple of things. Jerry even got in on the action (of course he did) and won himself a clay bowl/pot of some sort, and immediately announced -OUTLOUD - that he would put it on eBay as soon as he got home. That is, if he didn't break it because he kept dropping the bowl all over the place.
I won too (with Dave's money.) We got the Margarita mix/glasses/salt for the glasses and tortilla chips package. It was so cute! Too bad by the time we won we (Dave too) were completely intoxicated and decided that throwing it (glass bottle and margarita glasses) in Dave's trunk was a good idea. Dave sold his car shortly thereafter.

The event came to an end but we were just getting started. After packing (throwing) our auction items in Dave's trunk we met up with more friends to continue the merriment of the evening. And by merriment I mean more of Jerry's performance. He was, after all, the popular one that night.

As for returning the following year - sadly, 2005 marked the last year they held this event - I guess we just made too much of an impression!
Never a dull evening with the 3 of us . . .


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Dear Anonymous . . . .
    God hates no one - although he should hate people like you. . . .

    I will continually pray for your soul . . . .

  3. I'm sure that the reason they aren't having the benefit has nothing to do with you guys... uh huh... real sure!!! You crazy partiers!! ;)

  4. Quite the story. You look like a young Paula Dean. Those comments you received are horrid. You know you can delete them right?


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