Where do I even start . . .

It's been sooooo long since I've posted here - I'm not even sure I know how to do it anymore. Awwww... who am I kidding - it's like a bicycle (or sex) no matter how long it's been, once you're back in the saddle - it all comes back - um right? Well, maybe - because it's been a LONG time since I've been on a bike and well, about the same amount of time for the other since I've blogged. YIKES!!

Well, lets see here - what's been going on in Shopgirls' world?

Unemployment:
Ok - so minus the fact that I'm earning a paycheck - I am enjoying my time at home. I wish I could hit the lottery or something or wish my house was paid off -because, I think I could be really good at this "stay at home" gig. The "shopgirl time" (well, minus the actual SHOPPING) is AWESOME and plentiful - WAY, WAY better than my last gig - where I only had weekends off and no Personal Time Off at all, however, the benefits and the actual pay well, to put it bluntly - SUCK ASS. But this year? On St. Patty's Day? I didn't have to use ANY vacay time and I got to party at my leisure. How great is that??

This past month in Ohio has also been VERY SUNNY - some days were even down-right WARM too - I got to enjoy EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!!! I've worked in my yard, walked my dogs and have visited friends in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY!!!

Oh - and MIGRAINES?? I don't think I've had ONE since January 21st!!! (my PAROLE date of the former job) Hmmm.... connection? I think so!!

Oh,, and NAPS!!! Why oh why did I fight NAPS when I was little? NAPS are AWESOME!!! Especially around 1 or 2 in the afternoon and with a dog on each side of me in bed.... AWESOME.... Why don't they have Nap time in Corporate America? Well, they do - they're called MEETINGS but why is the actual "napping" frowned upon? I guarantee - if we could actually NAP for the HOUR PLUS bull-shit meeting the EXACT same results would be reached.

The job-hunt:
Well, I have no funny stories about resume searches -because, like I stated - I'm UNEMPLOYED and no longer have access to review resumes and look at the silly reasons people list for leaving or ridicule their incredible spelling errors. My resume, however, is posted ON. EVERY. SINGLE. WEBSITE. OUT.THERE. (Hopefully, error free and "recruiters making fun of me"-free.) I am interviewing this week so that's a good thing. Hopefully something will come of that.

Dental DisPleasure:
Today, I went to the dentist. Usually this is not blog-worthy, however, this was a new dentist and can I just tell you? I think I'm in LOVE with this dentist. Not because he's hot or anything like that - because he's not. It's because, this is the first time in my 30+ years of going to the dentist (I have REALLY bad teeth - even though I brush and floss regularly), that I ALMOST - ENJOYED my visit!! I know! AND, I even had TWO cavities filled!!!

Ok - I know, you are nuts shopgirl -but listen, I usually end up crying like a big fat baby when I'm in the dentist chair. Not because I'm scared or anything -it's usually the pain and believe it or not - I have a small mouth (shut up now, Dave) and to keep it open (seriously Dave, shut up) for them to fill a cavity? My TMJ goes into overload and I'm just in total pain. Ok - so I still freaked the fuck out a little bit today when he gave me the "shot of Novocaine" but after that, it was a BREEZE.

They had this thing-a-ma-bob that propped my mouth open and had a light in it so the dentist could see AND it had a suction thing on it so I didn't gag the entire time. It was FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!!! My doc filled those two cavities AND took several molds of my mouth (I'm getting a LOT of dental work done) in less than an HOUR!! AND??? my jaw didn't hurt at all AND I had no headache from it all AND?? No tears!!! OMG - is this how going to the dentist is supposed to be??

You see, I used to go to this NAZI other dentist who was just PURE EVIL... He was is a total PRICK and has this "I'm God" attitude. I should have switched dentists a long long time ago, but honestly, I'm just too lazy and even though he's a douche-bag, he was a pretty good dentist and in all my years of going to the dentist? I've never, ever had a "pleasant" doctor - EVER. So, today?? I can't even tell you how AWESOME it was.

And - you know what's even better? This dentist that I went to? It's my OLD dentists' back up doctor. I only found him because while my prick dentist was out of town, I had a problem and called this new guy - and the old secretary picked up and we started talking and she told me that I should come see this guy from now on. She left the old dentist to go work for this guy and so did another gal from the office - it's hysterical!! And, I'm not the only patient that has "secretly" left the old prick to go to the new and improved one!!

Puppyhood:
I've changed my puppers name AGAIN. This time I think it's for good. Her name is Sassafras - or Sassy for short. It's because she IS little Miss Sassypants. Every. Time. I. Tell. Her. No... she "sasses" back at me!! So, Sassy suits her just fine. She is soooooooooooooooo smart tooo!! She is pretty much house broken/potty trained (no.... she doesn't use the potty) she just knows NOT to potty in the house. But, if she DOES have to potty, she uses the puppy pads (4x4 maxi pads - that I wish I would have invented because I'd be rich - and I could stay at home!). She enjoys driving Miss Daisy absolutely bonkers, and I thoroughly enjoy this to no end.... They (Sassy and Daisy) are soooo stinking fun to watch it absolutely makes my day to see them play and romp and wrestle with each other.

Sassy had her first vet visit last week. Not cheap - thank God I only have one more round of shots (for a while anyway) and hopefully I'll be gainfully employed (or will hit those lottery numbers) by the time she needs "fixed" or else I may be taking up a collection.

Well, that's all for now... I guess I should prepare myself for my interview tomorrow, because I DO have to get back to work..... eventually anyway..

I have a favor....

So - today I have a request from any and all of you. I have volunteered myself to be the "unofficial" PR person for my church. What can I say? I'm out of a job - there are no job prospects in sight (even cashiering at Payless, Walmart and the local grocery chains - turns out - my job WASN'T so bad.) and I have to do SOMETHING productive. So, since my major WAS Public Relations - I figured, I could try to help out with the promotion of my little church.

Little Church is one of our biggest problems. Our membership has been declining the past couple of years and we'd obviously like to build it back up. We have lots of fun things going on at the church, i.e. Movie Nights, Spaghetti Dinners, Musicals, Brunches, etc. but the problem is: ATTENDANCE.

I think the root of this problem is the ADVERTISING - or lack there of. Do any of you belong to a church that has these kinds of activities? If so, what kind of attendance do you have and how do you get the word out? Of course - we'd also like to advertise our church services as well - I'm sorry to get ahead of myself - I'm thinking of all the "activities" and not the important part - the service and fellowship.

Also - does your church have a website? We do - but it needs "tweaked" and that's what I'm hoping to do. If you have a website - are any of you in charge of it or do you know who does it? I'm new to web programming -but have a lot of time on my hands now to learn (that's supposed to be funny - given that I don't have a "paying" job right now)

Any/all help suggestions that you could offer/share with me would be very much appreciated. Thanks in advance!
Shopgirl!!!

And we have a name.... I think.....

Ok - so if don't know about the new addition to my family... go here first.

So, at last post - I have a new little one in my home but she was name-less until today. At least for now anyway - there's always a chance I'll change my mind (I'm prone to doing so) but, I think I've come up with a cute name for my new puppy.

We all know about my girl Daisy - and how for the past two years she has been literally the center of my universe. Ahhhh to be a dog and to wind up at Shopgirls' house - it's total heaven.
Anyway - since I have a Daisy I wanted to give the new pupper-doodle a "flower name" as well. So, after much thinking, Internet googling, and just plain trying out several different names (who knew there were sooooo many names of flowers?) I think I have it.

I really liked Lily - but, my that is my niece's name and don't think it would be appropriate to call my dog that name. But, after trying:
Sweet Pea
Butter-cup
Tulip - or Tula
Poppy
Blossom
and even Dahlia (my original thought - but when I actually looked up the flower Dahlia? yeah... it's not a pretty flower - to me anyway - so um, no...)

So I was back to the flowers I like. Well Daisies are my favs and Tulips are my second favs but then when I look at the pup - she just LOOKS like a Lily. What's a Shopgirl to do?

I then started looking at "other" types of names - names with a meaning - no flower connection at all. But I couldn't find anything. I kept going back to Lily. Then I thought about some of my travels, and thought about my favorite places. Hawaii - looked up all Hawaiian names (but really? I'm not going to be able to spell any of them) Then it hit me. One of my FAVORITE places to travel the last couple of years was California (specifically San Diego), but since she's not a HE - Diego was out. Then I got it! Cali-lily or Cali for short.

What do you think (not you David) I know, you wanted Petunia or Daphne or Daffy (for daffodil) or Pansy, but: No. No. Maybe. and Possibly.

It's between Cali and Tula. At least for now . . . .

So, is she a Cali or a Tula?

Thank God and the Baby Jesus . . .

So, if you haven't heard about my cell phone dilemma - go here first.



Ok - so are you all hyped up now?? Can you believe it?? 600 FUCKING FRIGGIN DOLLARS!! I know, and I can assure you that I was just making my typical calls to my usual contacts and then of course all those folks that I've called regarding a JOB - since I have none right now.


So, after FREAKING THE FUCK OUT reading over my cell phone bill, I called up Verizon (free 611 call) and talked to someone in Customer Service. This gal was actually nice and sounded like she truly wanted to help me. She did change me into a better calling plan so this FUCKING BULLSHIT unpleasant episode won't happen again. I can now call people who are not on the Verizon plan and I won't be pillaged for it. Then, she said she'd give me a one time "courtesy" credit. GREAT! I was thinking, and this is what I THOUGHT I heard her say: "I'll be able take 40% off your current bill." Woo-hoo! I thought - that's like almost 1/2 (hey, I'm too cute to do math) Anyhoodle this sounded great!

But, as everything in Shopgirl's life - this was not what she ACTUALLY said. What she DID say, was that she could take 40% off of the minutes I went over my plan - which was like 600 minutes. So, it was a ONE TIME COURTESY CREDIT of those 600 minutes - not the rest of my bill. (which was about $100) Ok, a credit is good and all, and I'm GENERALLY not one to look a gift horse in the mouth (is that the way that saying goes? B/c it really makes no sense to me) Where was I? Oh yeah, so I'm like - ok a credit of $100 but that still leaves me with a bill that's still close to a house payment or 2 car payments.

All the while, I'm thinking to myself - I pay like $80/for 2 lines and we USUALLY only use about 700 minutes total. (sometimes more - but not 600 more) Oh, the second line? Moms and Pops - I want to know I can find my 80 year old parents where-ever they may wander.

So, if I'm paying 80-ish for 700 minutes and I've gone over my bill by another 600 minutes - in MY PRETTY LITTLE HEAD the bill should be like 160 (80 +80) or possibly 200 for all the other b/s (taxes, fees, fees for those fees and taxes - you know). But not $500!

By now it was 11pm and I was just too tired and too upset to call back. So, after a less-than-restful night I got up this AM and called back. Of course I got a bitch not-so-nice customer service rep on the phone and she REFUSED to help me at all because I took the ONE TIME COURTESY CREDIT - and if I wasn't satisfied with that I should have said something last night. Now it was too late. UGGGHHH!! Well, I didn't KNOW I had the right to refuse this credit and ask for more. So I asked her what kind of help they could offer me, because right now? being unemployed? I don't have $500. At least not for a cell phone. Yes, I want to keep in touch with my peeps - but $500? Can feed me for a couple of months or pay my car for a few months.

Do you know what she said? There is NO PAYMENT PLAN... UNTIL... YOU'RE ALREADY PAST DUE. What the fuck is wrong with companies? I'm trying NOT to be a DEADBEAT here... I'm trying to WORK with this company so I can remain a GOOD customer, but you're telling me that being a customer for almost 20 years (I got a cell phone at an early age b/c my sis worked for Verizon way back then) and mostly paying on time - you won't help me until I'm already in the negative??? Yep - that's what she was saying to me. This kind of thinking just blows my fucking mind - no wonder people are buying houses they can't afford and letting them foreclose - there is no good reason NOT to. I wish now, that I would have bought my MILLION DOLLAR mansion and lived there for as many years as I could have and not paid anything - because now? I'd probably be getting some NOT DESERVED help.

Defeated and just plain fed up... I hung up and went on with my day. I figured, FUCK IT, let them turn off my phone - I'll just go to another carrier and get another phone, because I AM NOT paying $500. They won't be able to call me if they turn off my phone! But, I just wasn't raised this way (dammit) so I tried calling Verizon again. (I also, don't want to get another phone, get a new number, it's all just too much and it shouldn't be this hard.)

So, I called Verizon for a THIRD time. Explained my situation for THE THIRD TIME. To a THIRD CUSTOMER SERVICE REP. Got told a THIRD TIME that I was already give a COURTESY CREDIT. But this time, I wouldn't let up - I was nice, but stern. I didn't beg, but matter of factly, told the CSR that this was in a nutshell, bull shit and why not just help me out instead of watching my account go unpaid and ultimately end up in collections. Well, after about 20 minutes of banter and 'checking my account' and 'speaking with his supervisor'..... I received another credit which ultimately cut my phone bill pretty darn close to 1/2 of what it was last night. (Like the way I originally thought I heard the FIRST CSR say.)

It's still a lot of money-and I'm convinced that Verizon is NOT losing anything. PLUS, they are keeping a customer and a HAPPY (sorta) one too. I now don't have to be the deadbeat that companies these days want you to become and I don't have to change my phone number or get a new phone that I'm sure I wouldn't know how to use anyway..

Thank you Baby Jesus and Bill the Verizon guy....

The Moral of my story? If at first you don't succeed, try and harass and keep calling back until they credit your account dammit!!!!!!!!!!

OH HOLY FUUUUUCCCCKKK....

Ok - so I'm not Catholic and at my church we really don't (or haven't been taught to) give up anything for lent. But, after tonight, I think I may (have to) give up something. My Cell Phone
: (

I just logged on line to my cell phone account and Thank God I was sitting down. Ok, last month my bill was a normal (well as normal as it usually is) dollar amount. This month? And remember, I've lost my job and have apparently been calling LOTS of places for a new job and my palio Dave - (who BTW is NOT ON MY PLAN) So this months bill?












Wait for it......










R U Sitting down?

Seriously? You should sit.... (trust me)














$600!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What. The. Fuck?????????????????????????????????????????

I could get a Louis Vuitton! Or SEVERAL Coach wallets or one VERY nice Coach purse.

OR - a NEW FUCKING COMPUTER THAT I so BADLY WANT!!!



I. Fucking. Hate. VERIZON!!!


And, I was doing sooooooooooo good being all happy what with the new Puppy and all... Well? it's Ramen noodles and cereal for the next couple months................

Hmmm..... let's try to find a positive in this.... If I only eat Ramen noodles and cereal for the next month or so:
1. I'll be able to repay the phone bill and still be able to answer calls from prospective employers.
2. I'll probably lose some weight and my suits for interviews with said prospective employers will probably fit better.
3. I won't have to give up my lifeline to all those Dave and Jerry friends who aren't on my plan.


Well, that's not very many positives - but that's all I can come up with. Any other ideas on how to pay back the Louis Vuitton-esque bill?


Blog responses only - no phone calls PLEASE!

How do I tell you this....

So, I know I've been out of the loop recently and when I have been here - I was really down and out. So I guess that would explain how I ended up here with this news. You see, for the past oh month or so, I've been living rather recklessly. You know the drill; going out with anyone and everyone, drinking, smoking and coming home late... What? I don't have a job right now.... it's not like I need to BE ANYWHERE in the morning. But, while I was busy having fun and only thinking about ME, well, um... you see, wow... how do I? Oh my. I guess I should just, gosh this is really hard to explain, er - well, there's really no EXPLAINING to do - I guess I just thought I was being careful and taking all the necessary precautions, but I guess NOTHING's 100% right? well, expect if you ABSTAIN, but really - that's just down-right impossible, er - for me anyway.

What I'm trying to say is: Gosh - please don't judge me - because now I'm unemployed and this is the 2nd time I've done this. I promise - I won't end up on TV with EIGHT - like that OTHER WHACK JOB unemployed single woman. But, well I'm just going to say it: Oops. I. Did. It. Again. I am a.......

FUR MOM - again.

PHEW!!! That's a load off.

OMG!! What did you think?? That I WAS PREGNANT with a REAL baby!! PUH-LEEEZE - I HAVE been protecting myself from THAT CRAZINESS since the first time I laid (nice choice of words) eyes on a hot boy!!

(No offense to all you 'human' mommies out there - but I'm just not the "maternal type" when it comes to human babies.) But, you see, I AM the crazy-dog-lady maternal type when it comes to the poochers! And seriously? How could one NOT be when you look at THIS FACE:

Isn't she PRECIOUS? Yes, I agree - SHE IS!!

She is just a wee little thing - and is only 7 weeks old.

But, because this was not a PLANNED PREGNANCY PUPPY, she currently doesn't have a name other than "Pooh-ders" or "Pupsicle"

I'm working on a name, but being the nut-job creative one I am, I am trying to come up with something ingenuous. And, since I already have a Daisy I was thinking of something in the "flower" family, because - what girl DOESN'T like to be surrounded by pretty flowers? Well, I'm sure there are crazy bitches some girls who DON'T like flowers - but not ME - I loves me flowers and since I don't have Mr. MANZ in my life right now, I'm not getting any (flowers) right now.

She and her fur-sister Daisy are getting along fine - now. Last night (our first night together) was questionable. Daisy WAS. NOT. HAPPY. AT. ALL. WITH ME. But, she's doing better today - and we (Daisy and I only) went for a long walk and I think that helped.

So, stay tuned - as I try to figure out what to call this adorable little creature that I will "love her and hug her and call her George____________________.

(My favorite quote from the Abominable snowman cartoon with Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny.)

PS - for those of Dave you that are paying attention to my "not working and have no money situation" - This pooch was FREE to a GOOD home. Ummmm... Hello? Dogs find HEAVEN when they come to the Shopgirl's house!! I'll post more pics later - I already have TONS - but my Internet is S.L.O.W. tonight and I don't have the patience to wait!!

Seriously?

I'm sooooooooo hating 2009 it's not even funny. And I'm usually all about the funny. So, in January, I lost my job of 8 years and 362 days. Then, my friends' dad died unexpectedly. And today? Well, it is going to be a FUN day - because my dad turned 80 years old on Friday and we're having a surprise b-day party for him tonight. So, that, I hope will be all fun and no drama.
But just now, I just got of the phone with my sis-in-law and she tells me that they have decided to put their dog "Shadow" down tomorrow.

OMG! So this brought on all kinds of emotions - because we all know what kind of dog lover (crazy lady) I am, and then it brought back the emotions of when I had to put my own dog down two years ago. Now, Shadow is a 13 year old Lab and she's not in good health - so I do believe it's the right thing to do - but still, seriously I'm hanging on by the thinnest of threads here and I really didn't need this.

I know what you may be thinking - what are you getting all upset about your SIL's dog - you big baby, but 13 years ago I lived at home before I bought my house and that's when I got Roxy - my lab. And my brother and SIL lived right up the road from my parents house. Everyday, I walked Roxy and we'd go get Shadow and all go for a walk. Roxmeister and Shadow were buddies. And now, to hear about Shadow dying just makes me think about Roxy all over again.

I hate death - I know it's a part of life, but right now I'm one big bag of emotional goo and this isn't helping. I am really lucky because in my lifetime, I really haven't had to deal with much death in my personal life. Aunts, uncles and grandparents have passed - but honestly, I wasn't that close to most of them due to geography - so their loss, while sad, didn't hit me as hard as say - my dog and now, Shadow. I don't even want to think about the thought of losing my parents because if I'm struggling over my SIL's dog - then I'm in trouble. And with my dad turning 80 this weekend and my mom celebrating hers in May - well, I just can't think about it.

This is just one big sappy, gooey post and I don't apologize for it at all - I need to get my emotions out before I burst and this is the only place right now that I can vent. I am trying to get myself together and just when I think it's going to be a good day - I get news like this, or another "rejection" letter from one of the 1000 employers that I've sent my resume to.

I will try to come up with a more cheerful post - but right now, I just don't think I have it in me. So, please... for Shopgirl.... keep writing funny stuff on your blogs because the TV is too depressing and my reality is just a little to real right now....