Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Happy Festivus! Yada Yada Yada!!

I just want to send out to all of you from the Daisy Dog and Shopgirl, a very Merry Christmas or Holiday or Festivus!! Below is my Christmas Card that I sent out to my friends and family IRL and I'd like to share it with my "blogging" friends too!

I hope Santa is good to all of you and your familys and I hope the Economy is good to all of us in 2009!!

The caption reads: Dear Santa: Dis is Daisy Dog. I no Elf. Mom dress me like Elf. You no send Elf presents. Send Dog stuff!

Merry Christmas everyone!!

Shopgirl

You do WHAT at your job?

So, I'm perusing through the hundreds of resumes that I should have perused days ago, and I came across on application in particular that made me do a double take.

This person is from UT - but it's not the infamous Stinky Bee (I don't think anyway!) and that's all I'll disclose about the candidate. Don't need to lose my jobs here my peeps!

Anyway - I'm looking through the application (see? not even going to say if it's a he or SHE - whoops!). So the work history is good - been at their job longer than 2 days - er, a year, yeah - that's what I look for. Anyway - they have the mad skillz I'm looking for. And then I get to their description of their job duties. This is what they put: Sales ass and the Assistant manager.

I swear, it's true - I didn't make this up! She also QUIT her job - who could blame her? I've been known to make an ASS of myself on an occasion or twenty. But to make it my profession? I guess I'd quit too (or I'd like to think my friends would step in and conduct an intervention.)

This Wacky Wednesday Witticism has been brought to you by my wonderful job that I must get back to!

Part Deux - Is he or isn't he?

For those of you that are new or simply don't remember (because it's been that long since I first posted this story) - read this first.

So, you really want to know ‘eh? Is he or isn’t he? My boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, LOVER, husband, wasband, or indeed: GAY?? Well, you’ll just have to continue reading to find out. Don’t bother skipping to the end – because I’ll put it somewhere in the middle, sorry – my sandbox, my rules!

Picking up where I left off, I went back to work on Monday at the station more confused than ever. Was he or wasn’t he? Could he be interested in me or am I just working a (very low paying) job at a radio station because I think some boy is cute? CD’s and concert ticket, while fun for a college student, do not pay the rent nor help you move out of your parents’ house any faster. Well, days turned into weeks which turned into months before I got anywhere with him. Turns out though, I liked my job and was quite good at it.

After the wedding, the two of us became friends – we’d go out occasionally but it was always work related. He’d have a “nite-out” that he was DJ’ing and I’d always go – you know, to support (stalk) a co-worker. I’d like to say I was always calm, cool, and collected during these times – yeah, I’d LIKE to say that. I was more like a psychotic jealous girlfriend who would watch him like it was my JOB or something. Seriously, if any girl came up to him I would give her the evil eye and immediately appear by his side asking if he “needed anything.” (umm? Hello jealous head, he was a DJ at the local radio station so he was kinda popular so girls would come up to him.) It’s a wonder he became my friend at all, looking back – god, I’m a mess!

It was obvious to the staff that we were friends and probably I that I was DIGGING him big time. I’d like to think that it wasn’t that OBVIOUS – but the word subtle is not in my vocabulary. (Then or now even.) Rumors were also flying around the station that he was INDEED gay. This just made me sick. The more I got to know him, the more I wanted to make him mine. (“I will love him and squeeze him and call him George.”) I just passed it off because most of the rumors were coming from one of the sales guy – Ron – who if he WASN’T gay, then my ‘gay-dar’ is seriously off. Yes, Ron was married – but, he was so cute and pretty (yes, I said HE – Ron was cute and pretty – boy-band pretty.) and his wife, well, she was just plain – not ugly, but not what you’d expect him to be with. Plus, Ron was such a girl – he gossiped like a girl, worried about his looks, weight and hair like a girl. A complete mo. This was all I needed really, to dismiss his theory that MY Dave was gay. Ron, I thought to myself, "YOU are just jealous and want Dave for yourself."

But, these rumors got the best of me and I just couldn’t stop thinking that maybe it was true. One day, Dave came by my office and I don’t remember what he did or said exactly, but my reaction to him was “You’re such a faaaaaa------” (Side bar: I called EVERYONE a FAG back then – I know, it’s not PC but whatever, if you were being a duechebag, you got called a fag by me – male/female anyone really.) I didn’t actually say the whole word, I only got out faaaaaa and caught myself. (too late however. ) he stopped, dead in his tracks and “looked” at me and I just said (I really did) “I’m not calling you a FAG, but you’re being one.” He just smiled at me and on he went and I just knew, DAMMIT, he IS.

And that was that, I would now be his friend, which let me tell you, took A LOT of pressure off of me. I didn’t worry about “looking cute” every day (well, yes I did – I don’t care who you are, I’m going to look cute everywhere I go.) But I didn’t have to look “cute” for him. I also didn’t care if I talked with him every day or not – I think I actually became a better employee at this point, because I wasn’t constantly walking around to make sure he saw how cute I looked or talking to him to make sure I got enough “face time” with him. Don’t get me wrong here, I still “hoped” he wasn’t and I was naïve enough back then to think that he might “change”, but we all know that that did not happen. So, friends we became.

He had a party not long after that. A couple of people from the station were invited and once we met his boyfriend K, it was no longer a mystery. K was awesome and I immediately liked him – which is odd, thinking about it now. Here was this guy, who was making out with, sleeping with and doing everything that I wanted to with Dave and I didn’t want to scratch his eyeballs out or pull out all of his hair. How big of me! Of course, there was LOTS of alcohol involved that night, but even so, I just thought K was the best. They of course had the cutest house, decorated very hip and they collected antiques. I OBVIOUSLY didn’t see all of this when I was there before the night of Lynn’s wedding – it’s impossible now, to ever think he was straight. No 25 year old STRAIGHT guy would have such a well put together house. Again, I was naïve and didn’t know any better. That night I met all the gays and the lesbian neighbors too – it was so fabulous.

I worked with Dave at the radio station for about 2-3 years – I had moved onto outside sales with the station and let me tell you – selling AIR TIME is the hardest thing in the world to sell. I gave it a year and then I quit, took a job about an hour away, completely out of radio. I would listen to Dave during his time slot on my drive home but we didn’t really stay in touch. I’d see him out and about, here and there but we actually lost touch for about 3-4 years.

I don’t know how or when it happened but I was at my current job (which was about 8 years ago) and Dave and I started hanging out and meeting up for drinks again. He had quit radio completely, which I really thought was sad, because he does have an awesome radio voice. We both had jobs now where we got to call the shots with the radio sales people. It was great.
Dave and I would meet every week at a restaurant/bar downtown after work for drinks/dinner or mostly drinks. This is when our fun REALLY began. Like for instance, did Dave and I get married to make our mothers happy? Did we go on separate honeymoons? Did Dave and I fight over the same guy(s)? Why didn’t Dave want me to meet our now infamous “Jerry?” Did Dave have a boyfriend that NOBODY liked? Were there man-capri’s involved? I guess you’ll just have to tune in for Part III!

Wacky Wednesday Wondering . . .

Ok – so I’ve commented on my job here many, many times and it never ceases to amaze me at what people put on an employment application. I know that we live in a fast paced world and believe me, I’ve made my share of mistakes by either typing too fast or just plain, not re-reading what I’ve written and then had that “oh fuuuuuuuck moment once I hit “send” or “enter.”

Yes, I’ve been there, done that.

But, that won’t stop me from making fun of other people who do it as well. Like, for instance, this applicant who listed this as their job description:

Job Description: sales, was doing management as well

And then listed this as their reason for leaving:
Reason for Leaving: too long of hours

And where does my pretty little head take my dirty little mind?
To this thought:

Hmmm, too long of hours – “doing” management?

I can’t decide if I think this applicant is an idiot who doesn’t know how to properly fill out an employment application – or if I’m just jealous of my lack of “hours.”

Back to work . . .

Thank you thank you thank you day 7!

Ok - here we are on day 7 of giving thanks.
Below is a message that I wish I could take credit for it - but I am not the author. Therefore, I am sharing because it has a nice message (and, I honestly, just can't come up with another 10 thankful posts.)

So, since there are 7 on this list, here's my contribution to make it 10:

1. I am thankful that my VP sent me this email.

2. I am thankful the day is 1/2 over.

3. I am thankful I live in a safe enough neighborhood that my door COULD be left open and
NOBODY came in and took anything. (another way of looking at that is: I live in such a
horrible 'hood, no one would even THINK of coming in b/c I probably don't have anything
worth stealing. 'EH, either way works for me.)

4. Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire, If you did, what would
there be to look forward to?

5. Be thankful when you don't know something. For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

6. Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

7. Be thankful for your limitations. Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

8. Be thankful for each new challenge. Because it will build your strength and character.

9. Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

10. Be thankful when you're tired and weary. Because it means you've made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks. GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.

Day 6 . . . I think I can I think I can . .

Day 6 of Giving Thanks - who would have thunk this would have been so hard?? But, here's my daily 10.

1. I'm thankful that's it's day 6.
2. I'm thankful my girls from the OC are back on Bravo.
3. I'm thankful tomorrow is my last day of work (for the week!)
4. I'm thankful I'm finally home, it's been a long day.
5. I'm thankful my cold is mostly gone.
6. I'm thankful I get to wear jeans tomorrow at work - woo hoo! (it's day 6 people, I'm running out of things here!)
7. I'm thankful that my mom stopped over tonight to let the Daisy Dog out for me (but she left my door OPEN - not unlocked, OPEN! So that was a little scary!!)
8. I'm thankful NO INTRUDERS were in here because see this to find out what Daisy would have done.
9. I'm thankful for Fudgesicles (again) they are just so yummy!
10. I'm thankful for my comfy bed . . . here I come.

Beware! NO GUARD DOG lives here!

You know that I love my pooch more than ANYTHING in the world right? And I think that she is the CUTEST and MOST ADOREABLE DOG OUT THERE. Well, she is, indeed the cutest dog, but I’m going to have to remove GUARD DOG from her resume’. You see, this morning, my wonderful sister-in-law dropped off a pie plate for me to use for the Apple Pie I’ll be attempting to bake for Thanksgiving. Martha Stewart I’m not, so this should be fun. That will be another post I’m SURE.

Anyhoodle – My sis-in-law gets to work before I even THINK about getting up in the morning so when she dropped off the pie plate I was all tucked in my bed with dreams of sugarplums dancing in my head. (Oh wait, wrong holiday.) But I WAS in bed dead to the world around me. And apparently, Daisy was too.

Now, this is the dog who will bark at the leaf that fell out of a tree 16 blocks away. Yet, when someone DRIVES IN MY DRIVEWAY (which my bedroom window looks out onto) and then they get out of the car and come into the back yard and leave something at the door, does she do ANYTHING? Um, that would be a big NOPE. Not even a low growl, not even a nudge to me as if to say ‘um, mom? Yeah, someone’s here, go check it out.” Nada. Zilch. Zip. Zero. NOTHING. Done. By. This Dog.

Now, at 7am, when I let her out for her morning potty, she did stand in the back yard and barked; AT NOTHING. So you see, that is why I must take Guard Dog off of her resume’. Hey, times are tough, and in this economy, if you’re not a performer, you gotta go.

I secretly think it’s her way at getting back at me – see I’ve officially had “dog walker” removed from my resume this week. I was doing so well with walking Miss Daisy dog (and I even got that Gentle Leader thingy to work on her!) but, then it got cold. REALLY. COLD. And then, I got sick. REALLY. SICK. And, then, well, I just didn’t feel like walking last night. So, maybe this is her way of letting me know that she will no longer perform her “doggie duties” until she is WALKED every night. Could there be a doggie union, such as the United Guard Dogs, that I’m unaware of? I better do my research and try some negotiating tonight before I have a nasty strike on my hands.

Seriously, this could get ugly, Christmas is right around the corner and I have holiday cards that need to get sent out and if she goes on strike – I can’t send an update to last years card:

Day 5 of Thanks . . . Almost Done

Ok – so I’m soooooooooo thankful that It’s day 5 and only 2 more days to go of this thankfulness!!

This is gonna be short and maybe sweet – given that I’m running out of things to be thankful for.
1. I’m thankful that I only have 2 more days of this post!
2. I’m thankful that it’s a 3 day work week for me.
3. I’m thankful that I’m feeling better.
4. I’m thankful that I had a free gift certificate for lunch at Macaroni Grille today – yum!!
5. I’m thankful that it’s almost time to go home.
6. I’m thankful that my tooth no longer hurts.
7. I’m thankful that I don’t have a headache today.
8. I’m thankful that I didn’t have to wait in line for my free Turkey at work today.
9. I’m thankful that I have this many things to be thankful for. (I told you I was running out of things to be thankful for.)
10. I’m thankful for my pooch – again – and even though Dave says she’s fat – she’s NOT and she’s the bomb-diggity!

Day of Thanks #4 - It's all about ME!

Ok - so I'm still feeling ICKY today and along with the ICK comes my selfishness. So today's post is going to be all about ME and the things that make ME happy.

So . . .
1. I'm thankful for my Tempurpedic bed - it is the COZIEST bed ever!
2. I'm thankful for the person who invented sugar-free Fudgesicles - best 40 calorie treat ever.
3. I'm thankful that the REAL HOUSEWIVES of ATLANTA show is OVER and my girls from the OC will be back next week.
4. I'm thankful the wonderful Steenky Bee - her blog keeps me in stitches!!
5. I'm thankful that CLUELESS was on TV today - I love this movie - AS IF!!
6. I'm thankful I only have a 3 day week this week. Woo-hoo!
7. I'm thankful for Diet Coke with Lime - it's the best!
8. I'm thankful that my nephew is ok after being knocked unconscious at his basketball game last week. Although he'll be out of play for about 4-8 weeks - he should be ok.
9. This one might make me unpopular by football fans - but I'm thankful the Browns lost today - the "ex" is a HUGE Browns fan and it secretly makes me happy EVERY TIME they lose.
10. I'm thankful that the NyQuil is starting to kick in... hopefully I'll sleep well again tonight and be on my way to better health.

Good Sunday night everyone!

Thanks - day 2 and 3 - better late than never . . .

Well, I started to post my day 2 of thanks - yesterday - but got distracted (god, I hate when that happens at work - ha ha!) And then, well it was Friday and I went out for ONE drink which ended up being like 10. So, day 2 of thanks just didn't happen. So, here I am, 1 hour and 40 minutes left of day 3 and I'm sick (start violin music now please) and hopped up on NyQuil - so this will either be a VERY heartfelt and emotional post - or a very crazy post. So, lets get it started.

1. I'm thankful for my friend Dave - I have to give him a shout out because he felt "slighted" that I didn't call him out on my first post. But, in all seriousness - I am very thankful for him - he drives me INSANE most days - but he is a very good friend and I'm glad he's in my life.

2. I'm thankful I live so close to my brother - he was SUPER nice to come over today and help me move my NEW IKEA desk into my office today. (I wish he would have stayed to help me put it together -but I managed.)

3. I'm thankful for my FAVORITE store IKEA - for making such fun furniture - affordable!

4. I mentioned my family before - but I think I'll go int more detail here. I'm thankful for my Sister-in-law C. She is a great friend and an AWESOME cook and has graciously offered to host Turkey Day this year.

5. I'm thankful for my sister. We had a great relationship when I was younger then had a tough time - but we've grown closer recently and I hope that continues.

6. I'm thankful for my 2nd brother R. He's a mechanic by trade, and makes sure my car is always running AND, that I'm not getting the runaround by my dealer.

7. My sis-in-law K. She too is a good friend and is always there to help when I need it.

8. I'm thankful for the company I work for - every year they give us a free Turkey for Thanksgiving.

9. I'm thankful I had NyQuil in the house today - so I didn't have to leave and brave the FRIGID temperatures.

10. I'm thankful for my four car garage - why, you ask? Well, when I bought this house 10 years ago - I thought the guy who sold it to me was a nut-job for adding an ADDITIONAL 2 car garage onto a small house, and NOT adding a 2nd bathroom - but because of that extra garage - I'm able to rent it out every year and today I was able to re-carpet part of my house and office because of said garage. (Hey, I said I was hopped up on NyQuil!)


Day 3 - giving thanks.

1. I'm thankful for Gift Cards. Christmas shopping will be easy this year - 8 nephews and 1 niece all in their teens and early 20's - gift cards are a LIFESAVER!

2. I'm thankful for such a cooperative family - it's not even Thanksgiving and we've figured out what to buy for my IMPOSSIBLE TO BUY FOR mom and dad.

3. I'm thankful that that MICE ARE GONE from my house. (although I did see one in my garage the other night - but it's a detached garage and as long as he stays out there - I'm cool)

4. I'm thankful that Christmas is almost here. I'm actually looking forward to it this year (at least right now anyway.)

5. I'm thankful for my friend Jen C - she is AWESOME. Last week we went to a craft show and had so much fun that my face still hurts from all the laughing we did. She also bought me a very cool OSU pen and contributed to my SASSYSAK! AND THEN - took me to dinner for a belated birthday dinner! Jen - you ROCK!

6. I'm thankful for my friend Colleen - she is AWESOME too - and when Jen, Colleen and I get together it's always a Laugh fest!

7. I'm thankful that GAS PRICES have come down so low!! Isn't is AWESOME to pay $1.69/gallon vs. the $4/gallon this summer? Too bad the economy SUCKS right now.

8. I'm thankful the NyQuil is kicking in right now - I may be able to sleep tonight!

9. I'm thankful that although the economy is down - I am currently doing ok. I pray that it stays that way!

10. I'm thankful for all of YOU - my blog readers and friends - I LOVE love love having you here - I promise - I will try to stay on top of my blog!!

Phew! That was a tough list and I still have 55 minutes left of the day. Now, I have to think of another 10 things to be thankful for. This is MUCH harder than I thought when I signed up!

I'm giving Thanks!

I was just over at DeeMarie's blog and she's got very nice post about being Thankful. The gist is - over the next 7 days (since that's when THANKSGIVING is) we should list 10 things/day that we're Thankful for. Given the state of the country right now, I think it's a nice idea to ponder all the things that we have in our lives.

So, with that said - here's my 10 for today:
1. I'm thankful for my parents - they irritate me on a daily basis sometimes - but nevertheless, I'm thankful for them and all they've given me.

2. I'm thankful that tomorrow is FRIDAY!

3. I'm thankful that I have dental insurance since I just paid about $300 to have a tooth filled today (well, because I've USED UP ALL MY INSURANCE for this year - but thankful I'm only out $300 instead of the $4K that's been done to my teeth thus far.) Good teeth are IMPORTANT and I intend to keep mind at whatever cost.

4. I'm thankful I have the best pooch in the world.

5. I'm thankful for my BFF - without her - I think I'd die!

6. I'm thankful for ALL of my friends - without you guys I'd be so sad.

7. I'm thankful for my blogger friends - maybe someday we'll meet, maybe not - but it's fun to hear about your world on a daily basis.

8. I'm thankful I have a job - and a good one at that. I may not like it all the time, but I have one and for that I am THANKFUL.

9. I'm thankful I own a house and because of said job, I can make my payments and not worry about foreclosure.

1o. I'm thankful for my family. The same holds true for them as with my parents - they may irritate me to no end some days - but I have great brothers and a sister and 9 nephews, one niece and even great niece's and nephew. I'm thankful for each and every one of them.

There you have it. If you'd like to join the thankful list - leave it here and I'll link you or you can pop on over to DeeMarie's page.

And I'd like to thank the Academy . . .

And my fellow blogger MISS JACK for this AWESOMESAUCE award.

As the great Sally Fields once said: "You Like me! You REALLY REALLY Like me!"

Thanks Miss Jack - you made my day, well, AWESOMESAUCE!!

I like them (most) ALL! But this is probably my favorite:

Ok - so this weeks Spin Cycle assignment is to go back and pick our "favorite" post. Well, since I'm still a blog virgin (hey, it's been a LONG time since I was a virgin ANYTHING - so let me enjoy this) I don't have many posts to choose from. Especially since I can't seem to get a post out there to save my life these days!

So, as I perused through my past posts (nice alliteration if I do say so myself) I came up with this one as my fave. And maybe, if I can remember, I'll even post "Part Deux!"

Enjoy!



I have this friend, my friend Dave . . .I met Dave about 10 years ago at a bar, of all places. (Imagine THAT for those who know me.) He was a DJ at the local radio station and on Thursdays or Fridays – who remembers, he also DJ’d at said bar. I was in college and went out every Thursday-Sunday night. (What? I graduated.) OK, 7 years later. But still. Shut up! I changed my major – A LOT.

Back then (and remember I drank 4 days out of 7) I thought he looked like Joey from Friends. I don't think so any more, but back then I did. Sue me. It was also more than 10 years ago and even Joey doesn't look like Joey any more. Plus, he (Dave, not Joey) needs to dye his hair. (Yes you do. I don’t care what your hairdresser says.)

Anyway, I thought he was way cute (you know I did and I just can’t wait to hear your comments David about this little bit of info) This had a lot to do with WHY I went to that bar every weekend. That, and the fact that the bouncer was a former boyfriend (friend with benefits, really, and he was HOT) so I figured my odds of hooking up, one way or another, were good. It seemed that Dave was always there with this girl, I'll call her Sue, who was another DJ from the station. I figured she was a girlfriend or worse, not YET his girlfriend and my competition.Long story short (mainly because I can’t remember the details) I ended up getting to know him and eventually got a job at the station on the office side. Of course I did, that bitch, I mean Sue, (no I don’t) wasn’t going to see him every day when I only got one night a week at a bar. (I’m not competitive so much as I’m jealous. Did I mention that my mom put me in pre-school 2 years in a row so I could learn how to share? Complete waste of money. Sorry mom.)

Fast forward to my FIRST day at the station. All is going well and I make sure that Dave knows I'm there by stopping by the studio to tell him so. He, of course, made fun of me in front of his intern (you did) so I go back to my desk and I'm all "what a jerk." Later that afternoon, the power goes out. I remember this particular detail because this is when I find out that he would NEVER, EVER be my boyfriend.

We were all gathered in the front lobby of the station because that’s where the only outside light was and Dave was there too since he couldn’t do his show. It was a Monday and everyone was talking about their weekends and someone noticed that he had a ring on his left hand ring finger. Being one of the only single guys at the station, all of us girls noticed this. Especially me since I took a freaking job at a radio station in order to make him mine (“I will hug him and squeeze him and call him George.” -Daffy Duck/Abominable Snowman reference for those of you that don't watch cartoons.) Anyway, Dave proceeds to tell all of us that he got MARRIED over the weekend. This is not only HUGE news (umm hello? I took a job at a radio station!!) but I found out that first day, half of the station thought he was gay and the other half really didn’t care (this was the older, uglier and married half.)I soon found out that Dave is notorious for lying and making up stories (just wait until you hear the DOOZIE we have going on right now- stay tuned), so the whole “I got married over the weekend was a complete lie. (At this point, there's still hope for boyfriend/girlfriend status BUT that means I can't quit this job just yet.) Over the next several weeks at the station, we became fast friends and I actually liked my job. C'mon, I was in college and I worked at a place where I got free CD's/concert tickets and occasionally met a famous singer. (OK Richard Marx was the only "famous" person and I TOTALLY thought he was my new intern that morning - maybe he'll make a comeback.)

A couple months into this gig, another DJ at the station, Lynn, was getting married and had invited me to the wedding and reception and you bet your ass I was there!! Too bad Sue had to work that night and couldn’t go to the reception. (Pre-school? I’m still there.) At the reception I sat (drank) with Amy, another DJ at the station and some other station people. Amy was super cool and gave me the scoop on everyone at the station. After the reception, we continued the party at another bar. There was dancing, drinking and still wondering whether or not Dave was single and hetero or homo sexual. Even Amy, who was married, was curious which was disappointing to me because I was hoping she’d have the inside scoop since she worked with him.The "after reception" activities proved fruitless (no pun intended) to answering the burning question, ‘was he or wasn’t he?’

• After the wedding – we (I think the bride came too, but I can't be sure) head to a gay bar. (He’s gay.)


• Dave introduces us to his "brother Mark" – who we thought was his boyfriend. (Not gay.)


• Dave invites me and Amy back to his house. (Not gay)


• "Brother" Mark is also invited and so is some guy named Michael (WTF?)


• Mark drives me and Amy to Dave’s house and keeps looking at me funny when I refer to him as Dave's brother. (Dave likes to make up stories remember?)


• I try to study for a statistics test that I forgot I have in the morning but fall asleep in Dave’s spare room. THIS, right here, is my life. I spend the night at his house – which should have been a victory – but fall asleep! (That test in the morning, also explains why I spent 7 years in college and am not a Dr.)

So, on Monday, I’m was just as confused as I was before the wedding but, Sue was so completely jealous that she missed out on all of it that it secretly makes me happy. (It's ok, hate the player, - but, I won.)Stay tuned for part deux (yes, I LOVE THE 80’S)

I had a post . . .really I did . . .

And now? I can't remember it. Seriously people - I think I'm coming down the CRS disease -(Can't remember shinola). I was backing out of my driveway this morning, trying very hard not to hit anything - like the garbage can, or worse - the house. (mental note: the next house I have will have an ATTACHED GARAGE and a BIGGER DRIVEWAY - not just one lane. - things I didn't pay attention to when I was buying this damn house) Anyway, I was backing out and I had the funniest thing to write about and I was like "oh, as soon as I get to work - I'll jot that down so I can post it." Do you think I can remember it now? NOPE!! I'm sooooooo mad!! This happens ALL THE TIME lately.

Seriously - I'll be upstairs in my room and realize that I need something downstairs - I go downstairs and by the time I get down there, I've forgotten what I came down for!! So there I am - usually staring at Daisy somehow hoping that she will one day just be able to talk and say "listen you dumbass, you came down here for _______ oh, and since we're down here, can I have a cookie?"

So, I guess since I can't remember my post - I'll get back to work - even though I don't want to, and even though I have a ton of resumes to get through, 2 meetings back to back and who knows what else - because you KNOW I've forgotten already!!

Have a great day everyone - and if I remember that FUNNY post I had in my tiny little brain this morning - I'll be sure to write it immediately!!

I'm here . . . really I am . . .

It's just that for ONCE in my life - I have nothing to say, er write, about. I know - for those of you that know me IRL - you're thinking - pffftt! Shopgirl has NOTHING to say? You were BORN talking. Actually, I wasn't - I had to take a special speech class when I was younger because I wouldn't talk and when I did, I couldn't quite sound out my s's and th's and f's.

Hmmm.. my favorite words now: Shit, Fuck and Motherfucker. Classy. I know you wish you were more like me. And Mom? Kudos on spending dad's money so wisely.

Anyway - I am here - and I'm reading all of your blogs - but as you guessed it, not commenting - because for some reason - I just can't get the words onto the blog post. Even Dave sent me a text yesterday asking me to post SOMETHING, ANYTHING. Well, here it is - it's not my finest post and actually - it's not really a post - just an explanation as to where I've been and what I've been up to.

So, since my last post a week ago I have and will:


1. Read all of your blogs - and DID post on some - for those that I didn't again - my apologies but I'm still reading!

2. Read the book Twilight - umm, if you would have asked me if I'd EVER read a book about Vampires (and a young adult book) I'd have answered in my best Cher voice from Clueless "as if!"

3. Slept, slept and slept - that was pretty much my weekend recap - major depression - I HATE this time of year.

4. Started my new meds to take care of #3 and this time, Dave, I promise to take them everyday. I even got one of those fancy smancy day of the week pill boxes.

5. Was a good daughter and painted my mom and dad's bathroom over the weekend.

6. Chased the great HOUDINI, Daisy Dog all over the neighborhood because I bought The Gentle Leader in hopes that it would stop her from pulling me all over the place when we go for our walks.

7. Return said Gentle Leader to PetSmart THIS weekend.

8. Will write a letter to GL asking for disclaimer to be put on box stating that their product DOES NOT WORK on this dog.

9. Begin reading New Moon - Can't. Believe. I'm reading. A book. About Vampires. But it's sooooo good and I'm sure I'll have to see the movie now too.

10. Heading to craft show with the girls to buy this bag, this bag or maybe this bag.

Shut up now, Dave! - this is TOTALLY with-in my budget! I have been saving my change (seriously I have) since this summer and have enough money in quarters and nickels to buy ONE bag. (And maybe an accessory or two.)

Hey - someone's got to keep the economy moving right?

So - I guess for not having much to say - I really did. I promise to get back on track and start posting more interesting stories soon. I'm sure I'll have some good girl gossip after this weekend!

Have a great weekend my fellow bloggers!

Do you remember . . .

When MTV was just that, MUSIC Televison? Don't get me wrong - I love, love love the Real World - was sooooooooooo in love with Eric from the first Real World - when they were ACTUALLY REAL.

My buddy DeeMarie has me working on this HORRIBLE HORRIBLE project (I kid, only) at work so while I'm data entering (such a good use of my mad recruiting skillz I tell you) I'm listening to my iPod (which I pronounce "ip-id", why? because.) Anyway, the MTV theme song from the 90's came on (I don't know why - but I have it) and it just made me think about how cool MTV used to be. Before the Hills, Real World, Road Rules and even VH1 - which is really my generations MTV.

Of course, this lead me to search the World Wid Web in hopes to actually find a sound bite of the theme song (since I can't figure out how to copy it from my iTunes and paste it into my blog) Of course, doing that - pasting it into my blog is probably illegal and infringes on some copyright - but really? Who would complain about the Club MTV Theme Song being copied onto my blog for all 5 of you (FABULOUS 5 at that) to listen? If you know how I can get it on here - well, email me and I'll take the risk!

Anyway - listening to it took me back, WAAAAAAAAAAAAY back. Like to the days of my MC Hammer pants and my Bobby Brown (pre-Whitney) black patent shoes. I was so cool it just makes me want to CRY thinking about how "cool" I was. Don't believe me? I had my SENIOR picture taken in those MC HAMMER pants - yep, mom was soooooooo proud of me. And the background? Hot Pink and Electric Blue neon lights - stop your jealousy right now, you can never, ever be as cool as me. I am sorry.

Can I also tell you that I pegged the legs of my jeans so tight it's a wonder my ankles are still attached? Yes, I was so hip with the fashion trends. Ok, so I know you all pegged your jeans
while wearing your Banana Clip in your spiral permed hair that you "froze" in place with your Paul Mitchel Freeze n Shine spray.

C'mon - take a trip down memory lane with me - send pictures if you have 'em!

MOUSER UPDATE

Good Monday morning my fellow bloggers! Never in my life would I have thought I'd utter these words, but I'm actually glad (well, kinda) it's Monday. This past weekend was, eh, not the greatest (not the worst either) but I'm so glad it's over non-the-less. And to top it off (of course, it's a Monday) I have another MIGRAINE headache. I would have stayed home today but believe it or not, laying down makes it worse - so here I am . . .


A few of you have asked me about my mouse situation - and I'm happy to announce (knock on wood) that I think I have gotten rid of the mousers. I've still got traps set because last night, I had the most WICKED dream nightmare about mice in the house. In my dream my house was INFESTED with mice!! YOWZERS!!! It was horrible! I had all these traps set and as soon as I put them down on the floor - a mouse would get caught but NOT DIE!! No wonder I woke up this morning with another MOTHER OF A MIGRAINE!!


So, say a prayer for me, and let's hope that this nightmare was just that, a bad dream and that the mousers are gone for good at shopgirl's house!!


I'll be back to my regular posting self later this week once I kick this migraine to the curb. Have a great Monday . . .

So far . . .

No more Mousers!! Yeah!! Although, last night I was rummaging in my basement for a "craft/project" to work on (I finally scrapbooked Dave) and discovered all kinds of mouse evidence. Let's HOPE that it's all old evidence.

A better post will follow later - Just wanted to update on the Mickey situation!!

Four. And please, God let there be no more!

Ok - so as I was sitting in my office - writing my comments to my peeps who commented on my previous post - #4 mouse was hiding IN. HERE. WITH. ME!!!

"How do you know this Shopgirl?" you may be wondering.

"Because, I went downstairs to the kitchen to pack my lunch for work tomorrow." (see Dave - I AM budgeting) (who am I kidding - I went down for a snack, felt guilty for eating, and packed a lunch to save face.)

Anyway . . .

While I was gone - #4 met his/her fate with the trap! I now have a routine of checking the traps EVERYTiME I walk by one. So, when I came back in my office - I just glanced over - expecting to see an empty (but still loaded with PB) trap - and to my horror there was #4.

OK - HP - he/she was tiny and I did feel a little bit sad for him/her but I snapped back to reality. He/she is a dirty rodent and must die. From the looks of it (ick) it was swift.

Please Dear Lord Baby Jesus.... let this be the last of them.

Out, damn'd Mouse!

Update: as of last week – I had caught 3 mice (well, the traps did) and I disposed of them (trap and all – as IF I would keep the trap). So I thought I was DONE. I mean, I hadn’t seen any more mouse droppings and the traps still had peanut butter – so at least I didn’t have a “smart mouse” that was able to get the PB without getting his little head snapped in the trap. All is good right?

Wrong! Oh. So. Wrong.

I was doing ok (ok, so not really –but I’ve had mice before and even back when I lived with my parents in their NICE house we would have a mouse or two every year.) But that was when my DAD would handle all of that – he’d set the traps and dispose of the carcass. Now, it’s up to ME. And, really? A girl should NOT have to do this kind of thing. Back in my college days, I was all “I am woman, hear me roar!” but these days and in cases of mice in the house? Not so much. I want a MAN (hot of course) to take care of this stuff. Killing spiders too – eck – definitely a boys job. Ok, sorry I drifted – back to my story.

So this past Saturday night I’m in my office – UPSTAIRS – next to my BEDROOM and I SWEAR I saw something move across the baseboard. Now, normally I’d be all like “I’m tired – it was nothing.” Not now. I KNOW it was the FOURTH mouse. And he’s UPSTAIRS next to my BEDROOM!! (yes, I know I repeated myself – it’s worth repeating) HE’S a TAD to close for me!! So, I march DOWNSTAIRS and check the trap I have set up – it’s still loaded with PB so it’s not like he’s gotten the bait – he’s just RELOCATED himself to a warmer part of the house.

Well, since my BEDROOM is right next door there is NO WAY I’m letting this RODENT live just one more minute in my house. I know that Mickey and the mice from Cinderella were all cute and fluffy - but this is a RODENT and he MUST DIE (and any/all members of his family). He is getting NO WHERE NEAR MY BEDROOM – at least not while I’m there. I have a hard and fast rule about not sharing my bed with anyone who doesn’t ‘BRING A BIG SMILE TO MY FACE’ and there “ain’t no way this creature is gonna do that” so he must go.

So last night I went to bed – traps set and hoped (even though it’s not the way I wanted to start a Monday morning) that I would have DEAD mouse this am to deal with.

Wrong. So. Effing. Wrong.

I have another smart mouse and he was able to get the PB off the trap – and probably feed his effing family of 100! GOD HELP ME!!

This morning I re-set the traps with the PB spread so thin and close to the trip of the trap grabbed my things and got the hell out of there.

If he’s not dead when I come home – I’m moving.

The Best Therapy ever . . .

And it only cost me $100, from Petfinder (if you or anyone you know is considering getting a dog - check out Petfinder or your local shelters- the best dogs are right there waiting for their forever homes!)

Ok - off my soap box for homeless pooches - but seriously, they are my passion - so please, help your local shelters.

Ok - really, I'm done now. Here's tonight's blog:

We all know HOW MUCH I LOVE MY DOG right? (No? See this, this and this)

Well, take a look at what she let me do to her last night. I was having such a crummy week - and after crying myself to sleep the past couple of nights, I just needed a good laugh and my palio came to my rescue. I LOVE THIS DOG.

Tricky trickster . . .

So – now that I’m back to my blogging self – I see that there’s a new Spin Cycle for the Tricksters!

I sooooooooo loves to play tricks on other people and do not fancy them being played on me. Nope – I do not play well in the sand box. Just ask my mom – she knew this right away and sent me to pre-school twice so I would learn to play nice – mom, you should get your money back.

But this post isn’t about ME (yeah right) it’s about a trick that I played, right? Well, I’ve played many in my day and hope to play many many more – but I have to say one of my favorite tricks happened about 8 years ago.

A group of friends and I went on a Caribbean cruise. There were about 10 of us on this cruise. It was me, my boyfriend Don (who we called Wally – I don’t know why – it was a high school nickname that stuck I guess) so it was me and Wally, my friend Robin and her boyfriend Mike, Lisa and Rich, Tracey and Ben and Tracey’s parents. So, we’re all excited the day of the cruise and we met at Robin/Mike’s house – had our Pre-cruise picture taken before Rob’s dad took us to the airport. (Yes, we were too cheap to drive ourselves and park our cars for 10 days).

We get to the airport, check in and make it to our seats on the plane (not anywhere near each other.) We take off, all is well and the flight attendant (male and VERY GAY) comes by and notices my cruise information and tries to play a trick on ME by telling me that the captain just “got a call from the ship/port and was told that the cruise had been canceled due to bad weather.” Pffftt!! I mock him to his face. “Nice try, I was born at night but not last night. Move along my friend.” Wally and I just laughed it off – but when the flight attendant came back our way, I told him that I didn’t buy his story but I knew someone that WOULD, my then BFF Robin who was also named “Most Gullible” in HS.

So, I told him where she was sitting, what she looked like and so on and off he went. Now, Robin and Mike were sitting in the very back of the plane and Wally and I were almost in the front. We waited for the flight attendant to come back and give us her reaction – but we didn’t need to because we heard – above the noise of the plane – “you’ve gotta be shitting me!!”
Side note: I’m honestly tearing up laughing as I write this, because Robins’ voice is a high pitched squeal, and she’s just as loud or LOUDER than me – so this was HUH-STER-ICAL – (hysterical for those of you that don’t speak hyphenation.)

So, the FA comes back to our seats and says to me (almost panicking) “she bought it.” Wally and I could barely contain ourselves. The FA wanted to go back and tell her it was just a joke but I said ABSOLUTELY NOT. So, we let Mike and Robin think that our cruise had been canceled. I mean, come on, WHO would believe that the GD shipping/port/cruise would RADIO to a plane in the sky that the trip was cancelled??? My friend Robin and her now husband Mike – that’s who.

So, about two hours later, we’re just about to land and the FA tells me that he’s going to let Robin in on the joke. Again, we wait for him to come back and tell us her reaction and AGAIN, we don’t have to. “JILL!!!!!!! Oh my God! I’m going to kill you!!” Again, Wally and I nearly wet ourselves from all of this. She (Robin) is so EASY to get!!

Little did we know that not only was Robin the MOST GULLIBLE on this plane ride. Nearly half of the plane heard this joke and I guess that’s ALL they talked about for the ride down!! Honestly, it was a big plane and not a short bus that we were on.

Needless to say, Robin and half the plane and cruisers were not exactly happy with me and Wally. Our FA, however, thoroughly enjoyed the plane ride - as Wally and I had several cocktails on his behalf. He couldn’t believe how everyone fell for it.

Everyone got over it- and we had a great cruise – although Wally and I were very well known all week long as the “pranksters.”

Just an afternoon giggle . . .

We all know that I love and hate my job. Well, right now I love my job - because of this candidate who shall remain nameless. This candidate works at the the Loaf N' Jug (I don't even know what that is - and I can't call to find out because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to contain myself), AND they are the recipient of the Store Image Award.

Bravo!

Therapy or prescription drugs may be needed. . .

Things that are my mind today:

Its fall outside- but I feel like I’m in the middle of a January-February DEEP depression. I usually like fall – the colors, the brisk air (since I’m not a fan of the hot/humid days) but this week has been a rough one and it’s only Wednesday.

First off, I discovered I have a mouse (which means MICE) in my house. I have traps all over the place since I found evidence in EVERY nook and cranny in my house. I had suspected I had a mouse, because a couple weeks ago, I was watching a movie and I SWORE I saw something scurry from the chair to behind the TV stand, but I was like “ok, my mind is playing tricks on me” but since I found “evidence” (mouse poop – nice) I know it’s not all in my head (for once).
UPDATE: as of last night, I’ve caught 2.

This is also adds to my depression – because, being a SINGLE gal, I have to take care of the dead mouse. Daisy just stands BEHIND me as I use the broom to try to get the mouse and trap into a trash can. THIS IS THE GROSSEST (is that a word? – anyway) THING TO HAVE TO DO EVER. AND I REALLY NEED/WANT A MAN IN MY LIFE. (Insert sad violin music here)

Another reason I’m hating life right now is the WEATHER – Like I said, I usually like fall – but last week (well, I was in Florida) so the week before THAT it was soooooo nice here – like upper 70’s and I think 80’s one day and it’s OCTOBER!! So, I was all happy tooling around town in my convertible bug just enjoying birthday month. This past weekend was also BEAUTIFUL – but this Monday? Um, hello WINTER!! It’s like 40 degrees outside! It’s sunny today – so that helps, but it’s COLD!! I think I have that Seasonal Depression thing. (Or I’m just a whiner – either way)

It’s also getting darker earlier around here, so Daisy and I have to take our after work walks in the dark. Man, I’m seriously bumming myself out just writing this blog. If you’re still with me and haven’t wanted to blow your brains out by now – GOD LOVE YA!

On a somewhat happier note, my trip to Florida last week was fun, even though I had to travel on my birthday. My co-worker was really nice and bought me a card for her and the others on the trip to sign. We also went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory (how could THIS not make me happy?) where she bought me a Bikini Martini – hey, I was in Florida and since I can’t WEAR a bikini – I’ll drink one!! It was quite tasty –but since I was with work people – I only had one – had I been with my pal Jerry or Dave – I would have had the whole collection of Bikinis!!

Much to my dismay, my co-worker took it upon herself to notify the staff at CF that it was indeed my birthday so after the meal I was serenaded by the entire CF staff. Ok, for those that know me, you’d think I’d like all this attention, but I really, really DO NOT like it one little bit. But, I smiled and thanked everyone, blew out the candle and ate a bite of the vanilla ice-cream that they gave me. That’s right!! I’m at the CHEESECAKE FACTORY and they brought me a small scoop of VANILLA (ewwww) ICE CREAM with a candle in it!! Ummmm again, Hello? It’s the CHEESECAKE FACTORY where there are like 100 kinds of CHEESECAKE and I got vanilla (again, ew) ice cream. Nice.

So, of course, we ordered CHEESECAKE. I can’t even remember what we ordered – there were 5 of us there and we ordered 2 different kinds to share – it was DELISH.

The rest of the week in Florida was pretty boring – I was there for a seminar: It’s a Matter of Respect – an HR training program that we had to deliver to our managers in two different Florida districts. We presented it twice for two days. I’m so RESPECTED out that I could just die. Hmmmm… maybe the reason for my piss-poor mood this week? Perhaps.

For those of you that are still with me after this moody post (thank you!) I will end it with a funny story. On our last night in Florida, we had dinner at the Bubba Gump Shrimp restaurant. “Run Forest, Run!” It was nice (food was good – not great but not bad either) but it WAS right on the OCEAN – and it was a full moon that night – so it was very cool to see all the white caps roll into the shore. Our waiter was pretty cool and during dinner he played a little “trivia” with us –but we didn’t win anything. (I didn’t think of that until just now – what mean trick!)

Anyway – he asked if we’ve seen the movie “Forest Gump” and we have and I have like 1000 times. Ummm hello Time Warner? You play Forest Gump EVERY weekend on USA or TNT.

Well, Dave and I have a favorite part in this movie – it’s where Forest’s mom convinces the principal to let her son go to the public school. Forest is sitting on the porch of Mama’s house and hears his mother “convincing” the principal. When the principal comes out he looks and Forest and says “boy, your mother sure does care about your education.” To which Forest replies “ehh ehhh ehh ehh!!” Dave and I ALWAYS say this to each other – if he’s asking about my sexcapades or I’m inquiring about his – we have to do this to one another. So, of course our waiter asks us this one question – and he says before asking it “no one ever gets this one” – then of course, I GOT IT – AND RECITED IT JUST AS FOREST DOES. Yep, I paid attention during the “matter of respect” training. Money well spent by my employer. I’m sure my manager (who was there) was SO proud.

Ha! – just thinking about that line from F.G. I’m cracking myself up! I’m back!! Actually, it was the COACH purse I bought myself (and shouldn't have, I know Dave) for my birthday!! I'll stop shopping NEXT month!!

PS - I'll post pictures from FL later - I don't have my card reader with me ; (

Just another Manic Monday . . .

I hate Mondays . . . and pretty much everything else right now. . . . Thank God there is only an hour an a half left of this miserable effing day...

hopefully tomorrow will be better . . . ta ta for now - going to bed . . .

Photo Tag!

I was just tagged by my friend, DeeMarie to do this picture meme.

This picture was taken about 3 years ago when I went to a Cleveland Indians game. Before we headed to Jacobs Field (that's what it was called back then) we were at the Winking Lizard and Zydrunas Ilgauskas was there with some of his buddies having beers and shots. Zydrunas is like 7 feet tall. I look like a freaking munchkin next to him!!! Also - I should NEVER wear tank tops - ever.

Ok - so here's how it works:

Game Rules: Pick the 4th file, 4th picture from your folder of photos and post it, sharing the story behind the photo.Pick 4 people to tag and share the love.

I'm sharing with:

Miss Jack

Supervised Mama

And, well - that's all for now -because I've tagged everyone else on my list of blogs (or they've been tagged already.) and I don't want to offend anyone!!

Enjoy!

I'm it . . . You're it!

The rules: Each player answers the question themselves. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment letting them know that they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person that tagged you know when you’ve answered the questions on your blog.


10 years ago I was:
1. 27 years old
2. Getting my feet wet as a recruiter
3. In 3 weddings in one year!
4. Living with my parents
5. Wishing I was dating ANYONE

5 things on today’s to-do list:
1. Pack for my trip to Florida tomorrow.
2. Finish my laundry
3. Walk the dog
4. Catch up on blog posts and comments
5. Buy toilet paper and dog treats

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Fudgesicles (sp)
2. Pringles
3. Double Stuf Oreos
4. Short bread cookies
5. Peanut butter bars

5 things I would do if I were a millionaire: (I’m changing this to be Billionaire)
1. Donate MILLIONS to the Humane Society.
2. LOTS O' PLASTIC SURGERY - OR FAT CAMP
3. Donate more to my church
4. Pay off all of my friends debts
5. Buy an AWESOME beach house!

5 places I have lived:
1. Akron, OH
2. Kappa House - Akron, OH
3. Mom and Dad's house - Akron, OH
4. My house - Akron, OH
5. College Apartment, Akron, OH

5 jobs I have had:
1. Mascot for radio station
2. Lifeguard - Best TAN ever!!
3. Radio Sales associate
4. Assistant Manager - Paul Harris
5. Paper Girl

Rules are rules. So I’m tagging: Spriteskeeper; Swishy; Beth; DeeMarie

I carried a watermelon . . .

Do you remember the movie Dirty Dancing? Of course you do - OMG - who DIDN'T swoon over Patrick Swayze and wish she could dance with Johnny? Remember the scene where Baby and Johnny meet for the first time and she says "I carried a watermelon?" She was horrified - I carried a watermelon? What kind of line is that?? Well, I can relate to Baby.

I was just at the gas station filling up and this TOTALLY GORGEOUS guy noticed that I was not only filling up my car but I was also filling up extra gas cans. (In our area - our local grocery store gives .10 off a gallon of gas for every $50 we spend in their store. I had a total of $2 off a gallon of gas and since gas is $2.97 right now - I figured I'd fill up the car AND the extra cans - because, well, I'm cheap) So, TOTALLY GORGEOUS GUY (TGG) notices me filling up and says, something like 'you must have like a $1.00 off a gallon - eh?' I tell him that I have $2 off and he replies, "get outta here!" in a very Brooklyn - Joeyesque way. Which, by the way, makes me want him even more.

So what is my BIG COME BACK? "uh huh, $2 off." I'm not kidding - that's ALL I said! Oh, no, wait - I did tell him to "have a nice day" as I got in my car and drove off. Without his number or giving him mine.

I'm telling you - this guy was HOT HOT HOT and he initiated conversation with me and what do I do? Wish him a nice effing day... How about when he said 'get outta here' I should have said: 'OK, your place or mine? Or, "it's birthday month - want to be my present and um future??" No, I wish him a nice ding dong day!!!

I carried a watermelon indeed.
I'm going to be single for the rest of my life . . .

All Fired Up . . .

Here’s my SPIN to the CYCLE – this is fun one as I’m NEVER at a loss for things that make me crazy mad! This was actually fun - and I think I could go on and on and on –but I stopped myself before I got all fired up. Here goes:

Things that get me FIRED UP: (and not in a good way)

1. Waiting in lines – ANY line – grocery store, bank, fast food – you name it, I’ve picked the shortest, yet SLOWEST MOVING line there is.

2. Not getting a “hello” or “thank you” after waiting in said line and purchasing something.

3. “Customer service” reps that cannot speak ENGLISH. Please, if I can’t understand you, then how can you be of ANY service to me??

4. People who drive in the passing lane at or below the posted limit. It is the PASSING lane you morons!

5. People who get offended after you’ve passed them on the highway. Seriously, this is NOT a pissing contest – I’m probably running late and you’re in my way – if you want to drive in front of me – you better be cruising at 70 mph or MORE - or I’m GOING to pass you. (while putting my make up on)

6. Idiots who are mean to animals. There is a special place in HELL for these jerks I’m sure of it.

7. Ungrateful people.

8. Ignorance – it is NOT bliss.

9. The $700 Billion Bail out plan. I also don’t want a political blog on my hands – but seriously, we’re bailing out BILLIONAIRES and the common folk like me – who owe maybe $10,000 in credit card/student loan debt – can’t get an effing break.

10. $29 - now $39 OVER THE LIMIT fees. WTF?? If there’s a LIMIT – how come the credit card company allows you to go over it??

11. ATM fees to get MY money...

12. This is new – one of my FAVORITE store credit cards just changed their rules about paying their bill. If I want to pay the bill ON THE DAY IT’S DUE – it will cost me an ADDITIONAL $10. Again, WTF??

13. My iPod. Ok – Apple? You’ve got bad fruit. I paid $250 for my 30 gig iPod and I’ve had to replace it 3 times. Good thing I bought the $60 warranty.

I am not a Doctor . . .

I think I’m going to DIE. (Well, not really, but it sure feels like it.) I have a MOTHER of a MIGRAINE headache today.

It all started yesterday. I can’t believe I’m about to say this – but I’m glad it’s just a headache and not the cold I was SURE I was going to catch from a co-worker (you know who you are – ha ha) that I was trapped in a meeting room with no fresh air circulating for 2 hours yesterday. If there’s anything I hate more than a headache it’s a MISERABLE COLD!! And from the looks of my co-worker yesterday afternoon during our meeting, (seriously sister, that’s what SICK days are for!!) it looked awful. I did feel bad for her – BUT, being the hypochondriac that I am, I IMMEDIATELY started to feel all achy and developed this Migraine.

I was totally prepared (and am still waiting) to wake up sniffling and coughing this morning. It won’t happen – not until Sunday night because Monday morning I leave for Florida for work. THAT’s when I’ll get it. Good times, I can’t wait.

So back to my Migraine and the fact that I’m not a Doctor. I’ve been popping my Migraine medicine all damn day and it is sooooooooooooo not working. I’d go home, but as soon as I walk in my door, my PRECIOUS POOCH will knock me over and bug the ever living daylights out of me because I’m not taking her for a walk. So, I’ll just stay at work and try to get something done – like this blog. (Hey, the smokers get to take 5-10 “smoke breaks” a day – this is MY smoke break and I type fast.)

So I’ve tried my migraine meds – not working.
I’ve tried regular Ibuprofen - 3 at a time – not working.
I’ve tried REGULAR Pepsi – instead of Diet – not working.
Water instead of caffeine? NOPE.

Well, I just got back from lunch – where I decided to medicate with FOOD. It’s the answer for everything else in my life, why not a headache?

I went to Panera Bread and had myself half of a Grilled Chicken Panini with Black Bean soup AND a shortbread cookie.

Now I have a headache AND I need to unbutton my pants if I want to sit down for the rest of the day . . . I am not a Doctor!

My Hero

So - while perusing the web today - I came across a discussion/contest that asked the question: Who is your role model/hero? I've never really given it much thought - I didn't grow up with any ONE person in my life that made me who I am today - what I'm trying to say is - I was blessed to have MANY MORE than one. My mom and dad - who sacrificed and gave a LOT to me and my brothers and sister. We may have WANTED for more but we never NEEDED more. My grandparents on my moms side - my other grandparents had passed before I was born. My older brothers and sister and their wives and husband - all helped mold and shape me to be the person I am today.


But there is one person in my family who I truly admire and am so lucky to still have her around. My Great Aunt Ruth. Aunt Ruth just turned 96 this past August and, I guess, she's always been someone I just thought was "cool."


A couple of years back we were at a family wedding and I didn't feel much like dancing, I was in a depressed mood at the time and feeling sorry for my(fat)self. My cousin Janet, Aunt Ruth's daughter, told me the story of how Aunt Ruth met her husband. Now, keep in mind, Ruth is about 5 feet tall and was slim/slender her whole life - just an iddy biddy thing. She was polished and ALWAYS put together - WELL. Never without makeup/lipstick and a fresh manicure. She was the Jackie O in our family.



Well, Aunt Ruth met my Uncle and her Mr. Right one night while dancing - on a table! (and I'm pretty sure it was a prohibition party at that too - but I could be making that up.) She didn't let her inhibitions get the best of her, like I was, and she met a wonderful man. (Who went on to become a DOCTOR) Unfortunately, Uncle Bill died at an early age, from cancer. But that didn't hold my Aunt back. Although she never remarried, she did and still does, live life to the fullest. She has traveled all over the world, by herself and with groups. Up until this summer - when she was 95 - she had her own apartment. It was in a retirement community, but she was self-sufficient.


Then, she hit a rough spell, she fell and broke her ankle and she also developed emphysema. While in the hospital she had some close calls and we thought we were going to lose her and she made the decision (still, on her own) to not be resuscitated if it came to that. Thankfully, it didn't come to that. I believe it's because she had her 96th birthday coming up. Aunt Ruth demanded (in the sweetest way a 95 year old woman can) that a party be thrown for her because she WOULD be there. And this past August, she was!


I recently visited her at the nursing home where she is recuperating. When I got there, she was waiting for me, she wanted to me to take her outside for a "walk." She's in a wheelchair because of her broken ankle and I think this is just killing her. She was wearing a brand new outfit that she got for her birthday, hair and make up done and recently had a manicure. As we strolled though the halls she introduced me to everyone and they all knew that I was coming that day for a visit. She is very proud of her family and let me tell you, I felt like a ROCK STAR because everyone knew my name and was excited to finally meet Ruth's Great Niece!! (I plan on going back weekly to boost my self confidence)


I brought her a new Ohio State Buckeyes T-shirt to wear while she watched the football games this fall. Aunt Ruth is a HUGE OSU fan and this present just made her day. She is looking forward to Christmas and is diligently exercising her ankle so she can walk without crutches when she goes to my cousins house on Christmas day. I don't know how much longer I'll have my Aunt Ruth around, but I suspect it will be at least after Christmas, since she has made this her goal.


She is truly a hero and inspiration to me.

Awwww....

Ok so we all know that I am single and would really, really like to finds me a man (and then immediately find EVERYTHING WRONG with him - kidding - sort of, my therapist and I are working on this one.) Like I was saying, I want a mans and if I did get as far as marrying him I'd even take his name (this would be weird since I've had mine for so long now, but I really think I'd take his name)

Did y'all hear me? I'd take his name UNLESS it was this last name that I just came across doing resume searches. "Hiscock" This person is a female. Awww... honey, if you're not married - GET MARRIED, if you ARE married - why oh why did you take his last name???

What - was yours worse?

Like, Hertwat?

Little old ladies . . .

Even though my day started off not so great, it ended with a HUGE smile.

Ok - so I ran to the the grocery store tonight to pick up dinner and a few other things (you know the drill, you go in for butter, and come out with eggs, 10 packs of frozen veggies b/c they were 10 for $10?) See this blog (round 3) to see how that's going to end up.

Anyway - I'm checking out and as I'm bagging my things (yes I use the self check out - because the 14 year old they have working the register? Yeah, I like my bread ON TOP of the groceries and soap/chemical products? Yeah, I like them bagged SEPARATELY - I'm weird like that, I know.) So, I'm bagging my things and I see this this kid (probably about 20-22) walking by with his jeans pulled down half way around his ass. I know I'm getting old(er) but I will never, ever get this look. Ok, I got it when Marky Mark did it in the "Good Vibrations" video - but he wore cute Calvins and it was ONLY the waist band of the Calvins that showed - not half of his ASS!! Although - hindsight - might not have been that bad.

Ok - back to my point - I'm sorry, my brain is still in vacay mode. So, as he walks by - half ass showing and all - I must have given a dirty look or a look of disgust (really he didn't even have cute underwear on - I mean if I HAVE to SEE IT - it better be cute or designer - and it was neither.) So there I am, dirty look giver, and this sweet little old lady (I swear she had to be 80) comes up to me and says: "I bet he thinks he's all that and a bag of chips. I just hate the way they wear their jeans like that."

Honestly, I thought she was going to yell at me for giving the dirty look - like maybe this kid was her grandson or something - based on how my day started - it really wasn't that far of a stretch.

But wait! There's more!

That's not ALL she said.


This is sooooooooooooo funny - you better not take a drink or anything . . . .


Seriously - I'm warning you - this is HILARIOUS . . .





She then says, "they (the kids) wear them that low, like they're hanging off their wieners!!"


People - this was the SWEETEST little old lady and she said WIENERS!!! I thought I was going to die! I am not making this up!


I think I just caught a glimpse of myself at 80 years old.


Rock on grandma, rock on . . . .

Curb your Dog . . .

Ok - so I just got back from taking my Delightful Daisy for a morning walk (something I wish I could do everyday - but alas, I don't have that much vacation time.) So, you can imagine, since I'm using up a precious vacay day today, that I am thoroughly enjoying my walk with my dog and don't want it to be spoiled by anything or any ONE. Well, that was not the case this morning. I had just hung up with Dave and had told him that Houdini (aka Daisy) had gotten loose on Saturday and in the 15 minutes (or less) that she was gone - it looked like she may have gotten into a fight or something - as she was missing a tiny patch of hair around her collar.

I really don't think she got in a fight - the patch is quite small - about the size of the tip of my pinky - but non-the-less, hair/fur is missing - so I wonder . .

So, Dave tells/yells at me that one day "that dog" is going to mess with the wrong animal or person and will get itself hurt or killed even. (he's doing this to get me going). I have a fenced yard, I keep her chained when she's out front, she's got her license and pretty much EVERYONE in the 'hood knows she's my dog. I know the consequences and try - my very best - to keep her contained. This is why she ended up with me in the first place - she was a rescue that kept getting loose and running away - and ended up in the pound. What can I say? She's like me - she's got a free spirit - that's why I love her so much!!

I tell Dave that IF that happens and she is hurt or God forbid, killed then THAT was her fate.


It will also be my fate to live out the rest of my days in JAIL because I will have KILLED or at least MAIMED the person/animal who hurts my precious POOCH. (ok - that's a joke - sort of.)

I have a point to this story- I promise - and here it is: about 10 minutes after I hang up with Dave I pass a house where someone is backing out and going, I presume, to work. They get about 6 or so houses down the street and then they SLAMMMMMMM on their brakes and BACK UP THE ENTIRE WAY - past their house and stop in front of ME and DAISY. Ok, so I'm a little freaked out and apprehensive right now. This (psychotic) lady then rolls down the passenger window and says to me - "I see your walking your dog but you don't have any bags with you" (the pooper scooper kind). I give her a nasty look and say, "yes I do they're in my pocket." (which they were.) Instead of saying, ok, I'm sorry or I'm glad you're responsible for your dog or ANYTHING along those lines - she CONTINUES to yell saying "well, SOMEONE lets their dog poop in my yard and I don't appreciate it."

Listen you old bat - I just got done telling you that I HAVE BAGS WITH ME - I AM A RESPONSIBLE DOG OWNER! Don't effing continue to yell at me, be on your miserable way.
THIS was the response I WANTED to say to her. What I said was "well it's not my dog." - Wooooooo - I bet I scared her.

I SHOULD have asked her if she drives around the entire neighborhood yelling at all dog walkers about the poop in her yard. I SHOULD have told her that she should be THANKFUL that she doesn't live in the neighborhood with the SHORT BUS and have Logan roaming the streets - ha ha!!

So much for a nice walk. . .

Spin Cycle

So I want to be a part of the Spin Cycle too - I guess that's one wish eh? I posted a blog on WISHES before - but here are more wishes that I wish would come true:

I wish that every time I ate chocolate - it had a counter reaction - like it actually made my ass look 5 lbs smaller!! Let me tell you, I'd have a NICE A$$!!!

I wish that I was ACTUALLY as cool as I think I am!

I wish it was 5 o'clock already!!! Sheesh - is time just tick tock taking forever today???

I wish I knew the POWER ball numbers for tonight . . .

I wish I had NATURALLY blonde hair -but, thank GOD I have a GREAT hairdresser!!

I wish you all a very good weekend!

What if . . .

Ever have a "What if" moment? Could just be a coincidence or a whatever moment - but usually, "what if" moments are life changing (or I guess, could be). Got this idea for a blog from a contest on Ask Alice

Here's mine . . .

One of my biggest "What if" moments happened about 6 years ago when I went to Maui, HI with my now BFF (then, friend from work) for her wedding over Memorial Day. I wasn't in the wedding but I shared a condo with the maid of honor and best man. We were the only singletons there. It was a very "Real World" meeting at the airport - because we honestly didn't know each other (really) until we all met at the airport as our flights arrived. (The Best Man was from Chicago, Maid of Honor from Michigan and I am from Ohio.) We had really only emailed each other - as one was in charge of the rental, another in charge of the condo, etc. That was about it.

Side note: The three of us got along GREAT and had the best vacation ever. Six years later and every Memorial Day weekend I get out my pictures and just smile remembering the best 9 days in my life.

Anyway - the first night there, after dinner – Best Man and I sat out on the beach with a makeshift cooler (trash can from the room with ice) and a case of Corona's and just talked and talked and drank, and drank. Maid of Honor was invited to join us – but declined because she was tired and full from dinner.

Before we knew it, and after hearing many funny and personal stories, taking silly pictures of each other and the MANY sand crabs (one who we named - Big Brutus), it was 5am and the sun was rising. In our drunken state - we tried (unsuccessfully) to actually SEE the sun rise - but we couldn't find it. Yes, the BIG ORANGE/YELLOW CIRCLE in the SKY? - We, (dru-unks) couldn't find it. (I am NOT lying)
Nothing happened that night - romantically - except that we became great friends and the next week was the literally the BEST WEEK EVER. (for all 3 of us too) Over the course of the next 7 days we were as thick as thieves and never left each others side.

On our last night in Maui (the Maid of Honor had left for home the night before) Best Man and I had dinner and a little too much to drink - which would usually mean that something ROMANTIC actually DID happen right? Wrong! Way too much alcohol and we just both fell asleep. I had to leave the next day and wouldn't see him again until the reception back home for the newlyweds.

When we met up at the reception, in the newlywed’s hometown in Michigan, it was as if we never missed a beat, we were reminiscing about the trip – checking out my tattoo. Oh yeah, I always wanted a tattoo – he had a couple and said he’d go with me – so I have a tattoo to remind me of that trip. At the end of the night Best Man drove me back to my hotel and at a red light I leaned over and planted a big kiss on him and told him that I’d been dying to do that since Maui. He said “me too!” Unfortunately, I was sharing a room with the Maid of Honor and others from the wedding so we would again have to wait to be with each other.

The next morning we had to be up early at the newlywed’s house to watch them open gifts - ugggh!! All I wanted to do was consummate my new relationship with Best Man – not watch someone else open gifts!! But like a really cheesy romantic comedy – this was not in the works for us. You see, the day went on and on, and on and on – and eventually we had to go our separate ways, he back to Chicago and me back to Ohio because (like an IDIOT) I rode to Michigan with the newlyweds and had to leave when they did.

We tried to keep in touch via email and phone calls, but you know how that goes. Throw in the fact that Best Man was interviewing and eventually landed a new job, time was sparse. It just never came to fruition. Except, one night 9 months later, he came to visit the newlyweds unexpectedly. At this time, however, I was kind of dating someone else. While Best Man was at the newlyweds house, my BFF’s new Husband told Best Man about this someone else and this sealed the fate of any relationship between me and Best Man.

It’s been a little of six years now, newlyweds are still married and have 2 children (one even named after me!) and the Maid of Honor is also married with children. Best Man and me?

STILL SINGLE.
NEITHER OF US DATING ANYONE.

Do I think What If? All the time . . . .


What are your "What if" moments?

Is this REALLY news to anyone??

Taken from Yahoo! News:

NEW YORK - Clay Aiken appears on the cover of the latest People magazine holding his infant son, Parker Foster Aiken, with the headline: "Yes, I'm Gay."

I mean, come on, did anyone REALLY NOT think he was gay??

Must be a slow news day . . .

Kinda like my blog writing lately . . . .

Things that make you go hmmmm....

Daily musings

So today I decided to “power walk” after eating lunch. Was it because it’s absolutely GORGEOUS outside today? Perhaps. Was it because walking is good exercise and I really should get more exercise? Maybe. Was it because I ate way too much for breakfast and lunch? Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!

So anyway I, along with many other co-workers, are walking in my company’s parking lot (where 1 lap is conveniently is 1 mile – or so we in HR say it is) and I’m jamming to the music on my iPod and I pass this woman who is in her “workout clothes” and obviously working up a sweat and she was SMOKING! I had to stop and do a double take. She was smoking while power walking! I don’t know why this amuses me so much – but I just chuckled to myself – because here we all are, doing something healthy (or at least that’s what we tell ourselves) and there she is smoking while power walking. I guess you could say she’s keeping it real, because really, I’m sitting here at my desk – just a couple hours after my “exercise” eating Mike and Ike’s (which are sitting RIGHT next to the carrots I bought at lunch today) - at least this woman isn’t lying to herself.


More Thoughts:

Last night, Dave, Jerry and I met for drinks and appetizers at Chrissie Hynde’s VegeTerranean restaurant. Lots went on last night between Dave, Jerry and I – I’ll chat about that later – but one thing that I did notice was this couple that was having dinner. They were by themselves, just the two of them, in a booth, sitting on the same side instead of across from each other. I just don’t get this – maybe it’s because I’m not part of a couple, but why do couples sit side by side in a booth when eating dinner? I can see if there was another couple with them – but it was JUST the two of them!! Um, hello? Maybe I’m jaded and just seeing couples makes me a teensy bit jealous, but still, this just doesn’t seem right to me. Sitting next to each other at a bar, yes, that is fine – but at a table or booth – it seems like they’re on a bus bench or something. OK – so I AM jealous because I want to be in a relationship right now – but even if I was with Mr. Wonderful Tonight, he would be sitting ACROSS the booth from me – not next to me – I needs my space people!!

What are your thoughts??

What up Dawg?

Halloween can't come soon enough for poor Daisy . . .

Ohhh - but then the Santa Hats will be out!!! Maybe then, I'll be able to come up with something to write about.

Things I've learned . . .

* Grocery shopping after a “few” drinks is NEVER a good idea.
I went in for a quart of milk. Came out with a bag of Halloween candy, mozzarella cheese sticks, doughnuts and ho-ho’s, barely remembering to grab the milk!

* Even though I'm wearing a cute shirt and killer heels - I don’t “look sober” and the customers in the grocery store ARE talking about me.

* Volunteering to bring in a breakfast casserole is also not a good idea if you’re planning on drinking the night before. (even if you’re only having “one”)

* If you don’t normally wake up early when you HAVEN’T been drinking the night before – you WILL NOT wake up early just because you have a breakfast casserole to bake.

* Patron is STILL tequila, no matter how smooth it goes down. My gag reflex will still kick in . . .

* I always have a fun night out with Dave. . .

* Birthday month is F U N!!

I love my job . . . .

Some days my job sucks and some days it provides pure entertainment. Like today. I'm searching resume database websites today, ie Monster, Careerbuilder.com, etc. and I came across a resume that listed this as one of their strong skills:

* Strong basic math skills with or without caculator - really? a CAC ULATOR?

Given the fact that I can't even figure out a 20% tip on any bill without the aid of my cell phone - I'm impressed.. not using spell check? well, that's another blog altogether . .

Can you IMAGINE . . .

If this "no power" (see previous post) business took place in a couple of weeks when "The Girls Next Door" new season starts??

I better have my Dearest Dave DVR it for me just in case . . .

Ohio Edison you're on my list . .

I'm going to preface this blog by saying that I know it could be much worse - and my heart and what little patience I have in a "normal" setting goes out to those that have been hit by IKE in Texas and now those in Chicago dealing with the floods. My "story of woe" is no where nearly as bad and I've already written (er clicked on line) my check to the Red Cross to help those that were directly in the path of the storm.

Now, onto my sad tale....
So, I come home last night pretty excited because as I turned down my street I see that my neighbors on the north side of my road have power. Yes! I think to myself, I'll be able to watch TV or play on the internet tonight! Woo-hoo!

My excitement was short-lived, however, as I pulled into my driveway and tried to open the garage door. NO POWER on the south end of the street. HOW THE FUCK IS THIS POSSIBLE?!?! It's not like I live on a road that is MILES and MILES long. We're probably talking 1/2 mile at the MOST (feels like more when I'm walking the dog) but it's probably more like a 1/4 mile. So why in the FUCK don't I have power when my neighbors 8 houses up do?? AND, AND, right around the corner from my house? The SUBSTATION!! AND we have NO trees down, no DOWN WIRES (although I told Ohio Ed we did so I could talk to a LIVE person) and yet, still no power.

So, I called Ohio Edison and told the "menu system" that I had a LIVE wire down so I could speak with an actual representative (I won't use the terms HUMAN or CUSTOMER SERVICE PERSON any more-because they are neither) and report that there was still NO ELECTRICITY on my street.

This "representative" got on the phone with me (and, I know this is hard to believe, but I WAS NICE in the beginning.) and immediately addressed me in a condescending tone. Saying things like I've only been without power since Sunday (it's now 6pm on Monday night) and I should consider myself LUCKY that I'm not in TX. LUCKY?? I live in fucking OHIO - no hurricane season here - and, my power is out because of FAULTY OHIO EDISON equipment - it had nothing to do with the storm that passed through Sunday evening. Our power went out 3 hours before the winds really kicked in lady, so NO, I don't consider myself LUCKY. I consider myself SCREWED for paying for service that I’m not getting. Should I just bend over next time I write the check for my so called "service?"

She then looks up my record and says "well, this is the first time it's been reported" Oh no she didn't.. She did NOT just lie to my face (ear). I called 3 times on Sunday, but because it was NOT DURING NORMAL BUSINESS HOURS, I didn't actually talk to a LIVE representative but I did go through the whole MENU system and reported it. AND, really? An ELECTRIC company doesn't have CSR's working on the weekends? What, power only goes out M-F 8-5?

Anyway, my neighbors (who are retired and home all day) HAD called ALL day on Monday. I had just talked with them to find out what was up with our power, like maybe, they WERE out during the day and couldn't get it fixed. My neighbor informed me that he had called and actually talked to a rep (because he too, lied about down lines) 6 different times. This is because Ohio Edison kept calling back saying they had fixed the problem in our area and we should have power, so he kept calling back saying "um no, not on our road."

I told MISS CUSTOMER SERVICE this and also that this is not the only time we've lost power. Any time we get the "slightest" wind the trees next to the damn pole brush against it and "boom" the damn thing explodes. I try telling her that this thing must be old or something is wrong with it when she CUTS ME OFF to say "if the pole is on your property - YOU are responsible for trees, etc.

OMG - I'm NOT having this discussion now, but since where here. . am I also responsible for the squirrels that run across the lines or how about the bird that flew into the pole this past summer and made it "pop" - that my fault too? I realize, Ohio Edison isn't responsible for the animals either. BUT their equipment should NOT be so FAULTY that when a bird flies into it or if a branch just touches the pole it blows up causing power a outage. So of course, this infuriates me to the point that I can't control myself.

Side note here; I am SOOOOO THANKFUL that I didn't have to endure what the folks in New Orleans, Mississippi, and now Texas and Chicago because, quite frankly, I wouldn't have been able to deal with all the calls and dealing with FEMA. I'm freaking out with Ohio Edison over a loss of power. I think (know) I would have MELTED DOWN if I would have lost my house and everything. And DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED to think about my dog. (all those folks that had to leave their pets behind because they couldn't take them to the shelters with them?? Good God Almighty - I think I would have been institutionalized.)

Anyway, I lost it with this rep and just told her (in not so nice terms) that we INDEED did NOT have power and I wanted it reported ASAP. Her response? She told me that it could be 3-5 days before power is restored. I hung up because I was honestly so upset and pissed I didn't know what else I would do, AND, now I'm at the mercy of this FUCKING C-U-Next Tuesday and I figured she could hold out the power restoration for my road for the full 5 days or longer.

UGGGGGHHHHH I was soooooooooooooooooooo mad. To make matters WORSE, my poor dog, Daisy is just shaking because she knows I'm upset. So, after about 10 minutes of trying to calm her down and her licking me (she loves to lick and I've recently discovered, when she's nervous - not just excited- she licks EVEN more.)

So, I calm down, calm Daisy down and call back, hoping to get another rep - not TONYA or (Total Cunt-face as I've nicknamed her.) I get a new gal on the phone and I start over (calmly - really, I was) and I told her that we didn't have power, blah blah blah and told her that I've called now twice today, 3 times on Sunday and my neighbors have been calling too. And, do you know what she says?? "Well, I'm looking at your account and no calls have been logged about power outage on your street."

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???? Are you FUCKING-OH-MY-GOD-KIDDING ME??? I told her how I just got off the phone with Tonya, and how could that be - the bitch updated my account! (Oh yeah, I have a new phone number and yes, we had to deal with THAT issue before CF would even HEAR about the no power/electricity business). She of course didn't know, but would put a "work order" in to have a crew come out, blah blah blah but it may be 3-5 days before we have power . . . . and now? I just want to cry. I tell her thanks - whatev, I have lost this battle.

Defeated, I go back into my powerless house, pack my bags and call my mom and tell her I'm coming over. I'm loading up my car (bags and dog) when I hear . . . coming down my street. . . . what sounds like a diesel work truck . . . then, then, that FANTASTIC "beep" "beep" "beep" sound when work trucks are backing up. I run down my driveway into the street and see . . . . . the OHIO EDISON truck backing up to the utility pole!!

All of my neighbors are in the street clapping and cheering this guy on. He tells us he has to go to the substation and "do something" but we should have power within the next hour or so. Of course, we were all a little hesitant to watch him leave, but true to his word . . . . lights starting coming on within 20 minutes!!! AND, he came BACK!! We all bowed to him - I offered him a beer - although it was warm - my fault? I think not. He checked the utility pole and guess what he said? Yup, it IS faulty and needs fixed - HA! Go FUCK YOURSELF TONYA!! I told you it was bad equipment!!

Anyhoo, I FINALLY got power restored around 7-7:30 last night. Of course, everything in my refrigerator/freezer is destroyed - including my big box of FUDGSICLES!! Oh well, I've got power - I'll go out tonight and buy more. . . .

My BFF and her husband and two girls had to come over last night to shower and wash bottles for the baby. They too are without power. On their way home, they noticed that the lights were on in their neighborhood. Smiles on their faces, they pulled into their driveway . . . hit the garage door opener . . . and . . . . nope! No power for them. Two houses down - power, their house - none. WTF Ohio Ed??

She called me this morning and asked if I'd call to report that their power is out. I told her that since it's already been 3 days, I'd wait out the 5. If I get on the phone it could be Christmas before their power is restored.

Pack a bag my friend and come stay at my house . . . .